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I'm a sophomore in high school and sometime during my freshman year, I lost interest in boys my own age (and, for that matter, boys even remotely close to my age) and became interested in men. I was sure that it was a phase that all girls go through but I've found that I can't get over it and I'm totally unattracted to men that aren't at least eight years older than I am. I haven't pursued my interest in older men because I'm aware that I'm underaged and I could get a man into trouble but I feel like this interest is crippling me socially. I don't think I could EVER date a boy close to my age because I'm just not attracted to them but if I'm going to have to wait until I'm eighteen to find someone I'm really attracted to, should I just settle for someone close to my age? Is it normal for young woman to want men that much older than they are?
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Hi,
I'd say it's very common. You seem like an intelligent girl, maybe older than your years. When I was your age I was the same way, I could not find any boys my age that I could relate to. I went after older guys(that's the difference, you haven't done that yet, and that's a GOOD thing). Let me say this...While it may seem you can connect better with a man older than you and seemingly more on your level, the truth it, you two really aren't. I'm guessing you're about 15 or 16, and a man in his early-mid 20s wants different things. I doubt you two would share the same values. And that's what will create conflict. And as you mentioned, the whole legal thing can create a HUGE mess. But I'll guarantee you this..There's other boys your age who likely feel the same way as you do. Try joining some school clubs, something you really enjoy. I remember joining an art club when I was in high school, and that's where I FINALLY found a boy my age I could relate to(I swear I thought it was impossible then). And if you don't meet anyone...That's ok too. Give it time. Never settle. Dating someone you really don't like just so you can say you're dating someone is hardly worth it. I'd rather be by myself and happy then in a 'relationship' I never really wanted to begin with. Good luck :)
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hey! yes...to answer your question! it is extremely common for a young girl to have a desire to date older men. the reasons actually are deeper than the surface and has alot to do with our "relative mind" i did alot of studying of dianetics and thats where this comes to play and i wont get into it because its very complex and confusing psychology work but to be brief about it,,,it is common and your not out of the norm! however the problem is,,,yes you can get older men into trouble! think of this...why wouldnt you want to date someone who is closer to your stage in life? honestly...dating someone who is at the age when they should be starting a career and you havent even graduated high school yet is a bad idea! in the long run it will not work out for the better, if you are not interested in guys your age right now thats ok...date someone a few years older or a few years mature! maybe a nice college boy! go for it...
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Don't worry, you're experiencing something totally normal: because guys in high school are idiots (no offense boys). I didn't like guys in high school at ALL, but now that I'm in university, and they're starting to become more mature, I'm liking the men who are my age more and more.
:)
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It is actually pretty normal. Because many teenage boys are just not mature enough. And you probably just want someone who is mature and everything.
So instead of dating someone over eighteen, try dating someone who is like eighteen, or you could just wait and maybe you will get over this, or maybe you will end up finding a boy your age who can satisfy you.
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My mom met my dad when she was 17 in high school. My dad was 23 years old at the time. They dated for a while, and got married when she turned 21.
When I talk to her, she says that older guys were more mature, and she found she had a better time with them. A lot of people feel this way, and it isn't odd. I actually know people now that are dating older guys too. My best friend is dating a 22 year old, and she is 17. Where I live, it just depends what you do with that person. It is illegal to have sex, but not to date them. I don't know about where you live.
I think you should make yourself happy, and if dating someone older makes you feel good, then that's what you should do. It's all up to you.
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