Member Since: April 19, 2012
Answers: 40
Last Update: November 17, 2013
Visitors: 2925
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adviceman49
Razhie
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Hi. Ok so i was on my boyfriend instagram today and i came across some girl that his friend was dating. He liked 12 of her pictures and on one of the pictures my boyfriend asked her for her facebook. I don't know why he would ask her for that and especially liking all her pictures. I dont wanna talk to him because then hes going to think i was snooping around his instagram. What do you think about this or what would you do if it was you. I know if i did it he would be mad :( (link)
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Hmm, that's a tough one. My feeling is that communication is the only way to a healthy relationship...which means I think you just need to be honest. Tell him the truth, you were just looking at his photos, but noticed he'd liked her photos and that it makes you uncomfortable. You haven't given much info on your relationship, do you have reasons to feel like you can't trust him? Just curious.
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Ok, so I have been dating this girl that I love and such. But my freinds, literally, all of them, hate, her. And I have been freinds with them for my whole life, so I thought about just dumping her, then I noticed that she had been getting a little clingy lately, and finally, we got In bed, if you know what I mean. Then I had to stay with her, but I just don't know what to do! What should I do, stick with my freinds, or stay with my girl? (link)
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yes, you should break up with her. she deserves a chance to be with someone who isn't so easily swayed by his friends.
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Hello
I have a black and white kitten who is nearly 11 weeks old and he like biting people ( can be pretty harsh as times) the mother cat isn't mine shes my friends and the kittens were born in her outside toilet we brought them in after they were 3 days old as we were worried about foxes and other cats and I am worried that the kitten may grow up to be ferral. I don't have children, dogs or any other cats Therefore noone teases him maybe I should get him a play mate or maybe when hes old enough get him neutred what is my best option thank you for any advice xxx (link)
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Did you take him away from his mother at 3 days? That could be why he's biting so hard, also though - kittens are doing to bite. Does he have a time he's more likely to do it? Such as when he's being held or when you scratch his stomach?
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I'm having a hard time about when I should go to this camp as part of the Duke TIP college program. What it is is a summer camp where you take many challenging courses to help you figure out what you may be interested in with a career. It costs a lot of money (around $3000) but is a great opportunity since I was able to qualify for it. It's a month long and I basically live there the whole time. My parents are think of either sending me in the summer between 8th and 9th grade or 9th and 10th grade. Btw I'm 14 right now and thanks for reading! (link)
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I actually went to a lot of the TIP weekend programs and I say go between 9th and 10th grade - mostly because I think they offer more interesting classes, but you should see for yourself how the programs differ and which one fits your interests more.
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For some reason lately I've been super controlling with my boyfriend and get mad when he doesn't do what I suggest him to. We have a LDR for right now until I'm finished with college. He likes to hang out with his friends that live an hour away, he'll stay there all weekend and I'll barely hear from him. I explained to him how much I hate when he goes with his friends and doesn't talk to me because it makes me feel neglected and he has apologized and says next time he'll try harder to talk to me. Well the next time happened and he didn't. So this weekend he told me he was going and I expressed how much I wish he wouldn't because he has fallen asleep on me 3 times this week and I haven't been able to talk to him however he still went and of course I got mad. I don't know why but when he knows I don't want him to do something and he does it anyway it turns me into this evil person where I will say whatever I can to make him just as mad as I am... why is that? I don't like being that way and I try to stop myself but I'm just too mad to even calm myself down.. is there something wrong with me? I know my boyfriend doesn't deserve it because he is honestly such a great guy and always apologizes for anything that he does that upsets me every single time but somehow I still get so angry when he doesn't listen to me (link)
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First of all, I'm not exactly sure that I'd call your behavior controlling from what you wrote.
Here's how I see it...when you are in a LDR communication is important and it seems like when he's with his friends he isn't that great at communicating. Wanting to talk to your partner during the weekend doesn't mean you don't trust them or that you are being controlling. You've told him what you need, but he continues not to do it. Maybe you two just need a firmer understanding of what you need. If you are asking him to text you every hour, that's not reasonable, but if you are asking him to call you on Saturday afternoon to talk about how the weekend is going - I think that's fine, he should be able to take 15 minutes out of his day to do that. Explain to him again that when he's with his friends, you want him to have a good time, but also keep in touch with you. Don't make him beg for forgiveness, don't threaten him - just tell him that you aren't getting what you need from the relationship and that he should follow through with what he says he's going to do, but also be open to compromise.
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Does anybody know any pop/pop-rock/pop-punk songs sung by a female that has to do with a friend betraying you that's from the 2005-now? Thank you. (link)
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Piranha by Lemuria, Real Mean by Revolver
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Hi, 20/M
Me and my girlfriend (all but name) have been going through a rough patch recently.
I saw some messages on her phone at like 1am from a guy that she was introduced to at work. He sent her a pic of herself, and sent messages like "I'm not the type of guy that has sex with just anyone". I told her that I saw them, and it really upset me. Not only do I find it to be inappropriate to be texting someone else at 1am, but what really upset me was that I left hers, because she claimed to be too tired, at 12am.
We spoke and she apologised, and she said she didn't see it like that and understood why I was upset.
There is also this other guy, who is the boyfriend of a mutual friend. We went to a BBQ a while ago, and I kept telling her that he was flirting with her. I then saw messages from him, on her fb, at 1am, with him telling her that "she's cute".
Again, we spoke about this and she said that she didn't really it as a problem, and she didn't see it as flirting.
I'm worried that because our relationship status is not public (people just think we're friends), when she is nice to guys that flirt with her, may give the guy the wrong impression i.e. that she is interested, when really she says that she doesn't know the difference between flirting and someone being nice.
It feels now that she has really taken on board what we've spoken about before. But do I have anything to worry about? Is it inappropriate for a girl to be like that with another guy? My friend says yes, but my girlfriend just happens to get on better with guys than girls (I also get on better with girls than guys).
What also confuses me is that sometimes she will say "I can't just stop talking to them, thats rude" or "He helped me with my job application, I can't make it look like I was using him" which to me sound like excuses.
I just don't know what to think. Am I being paranoid, stupid, and jealous? Or are her actions inappropriate? I of course want her to have friends, but why am I being so paranoid when it comes to these two guys? Is it just because it happens to be that they were flirting? Or am I going to carry on being like this with every guy friend she has?
I should reinforce that our relationship is fine apart from that. She loves me, and I love her. She hasn't physically cheated on me. It's just this messaging. (link)
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My first question is why does your relationship have to be secret? If these two men think she is single - then yes they probably feel comfortable flirting with and pursing her. If you two love each other it's time for you to tell your friends. If these guys keep disrespecting the boundaries of your relationship then you need to talk to your girlfriend. She can still be friends with them, but she needs to explain that she's in a relationship and their advances are unwanted.
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I am 21 and I've been dating a guy for 7 months. We've definitely had our downs and ups, but we always find a way to make our relationship work. In the past, this guy has hooked up with a lot of girls and also had a few long term relationships being 1-3 years long. At first, I thought he had a commitment phobia, but then he asked me out and I was happily surprised. Since then I have caught him flirting with other girls on fb, accused him of cheating once and had my upset moments where I've ended up leaving his house. When I mentioned that I thought he was cheating, he told me that is absurd because he would never do that to me since he's had numerous girls cheat on him in the past. But because of the messages I seen on fb, I get this feeling that he might be playing me though he calls me his gf... Yes i looked at his fb cuz i was suspicious. Now on the flip side: he is making time for me more, insists on cooking for me and is overall becoming the guy I hoped he was when we started seeing eachother. And here's where my dilemma begins.. I met this other guy not too long ago and we hit it off instantly. My first thought was 'why didn't I meet you before I started seeing this other guy?' and we instantly connected. Now this 2nd guy wants to date me. He says I'm the perfect girl for him and we cuddled once which was the most amazing feeling I've had with a guy before, though I feel horrible for doing so. I mean, just when I start making things work with one guy another one shows up and makes me question seeing the first guy. What do I do? I know you are going to say 'if you fall for 2 guys choose the second' and whatnot... but I just cant bring myself to do that. I like them both! I've even made a list of pros and cons between both and it comes out very close. I feel like ive known the second guy longer even though we've only known eachother a short while and I feel like the guy I've been seeing is trying his best for me and that we could be happy in the end... I've never been in this situation before. (link)
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This is a tough one.
First of all let's consider age - perhaps the 2nd guy is better at communicating because he's more mature. He's probably had more relationships and more practice. It's impossible for anyone to give you a "right" answer in this situation. But my feeling is...would you be seeking attention from someone else if you were happy in your relationship? Perhaps because of the early trust issue you are having trouble fully committing to him?
Maybe you should take a break from boy 1 for a week as well as boy 2. Maybe some alone time would give you perspective on what you want?
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I have naturally curly hair and I want to get it shaved into a mohawk. My hair is a bit less curly than a african Americans hair (manigable) but definitely way more curly than say, someone with super wavy hair (if that makes sense). Everyone loves it because I can poof it up into a 70's style afro.. but I've decided I would like a change and so I'm going to a salon to get it cut. I would like to know how long I should leave the sides, 5"? So that when it curls it makes tight pincurls on the sides of my head and then 8" on the 'hawk' part.. theen I'm not sure how wide it should be. What do you think? Lengths and widths would be much appreciated.
Frankly, hair grows back and so I'm not worried: I can have my 'afro' back by next year :p
Links as to what my hair is kind of like:
The picture of the girl in the second photo (obviously):
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/mohawk-hairstyles-for-black-women.html
http://www.oprah.com/style/4-Easy-Summer-Hair-Styles
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5" is a little long in my opinion - i'd ask the salon, but if you want a real Mohawk, i'd go shorter.
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Hi . Im 13 and I have been smoking marijuana for a little bit now . I have been holding back this secret from my parents and even closest friends . I just don't want to be known as one who tries to fit in with the other crowd . That's not my reasoning for doing this . I do it because my brother is an addict and I tried it once and it was like the best feeling ever so I kept doing it . Ive gone to school high but since Im just a natural goof off and crazy student nobody seemed to notice as far as I know . I know its bad for you but I don't do it often . The addiction runs through my blood . I just cant help it . I cover up the smell with stong perfume and the days I smoke I usually just come in late and say Im tired I had a long night and go right to bed . Should I tell someone about this ? I just don't know what to do . (link)
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Do you feel you're addicted? Do you want to tell someone so they can help you stop? If that's the case, I'm just curious - have you ever tried to stop on your own? Telling your parents, who are already probably very stressed out about your brother, that you are addicted to drugs is going to change all of your lives a great deal. I'd give this some thought and if you really think you have a problem and you can't stop on your own, I'd talk to a guidance counselor.
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I have a friend I'll call Bob. His wife told my wife that he hit her in the stomach when she told him she was pregnant with their second child. They've been married about four years. he is 32 and she is 25. On Facebook, I saw him post "married women looking for men" as his status, but I think he put it in the wrong box on his phone, intending it to be in the search box. I saw it and responded to it with "?" and he deleted it quickly. Later, he asked if I thought it was funny and he was showing his friend from work all the stuff on Facebook. I didn't believe him. Since then, I've distanced myself from him and he hasn't called me in a month or so. I can't tell anyone why I'm treating him like this because if he found out, he would know it was his wife who told on him and told my wife. I find this behavior despicable and in conflict with my morals. I really don't want to be friends with him anymore. So, I have to keep quiet. He has already commented to my son that I was "acting weird" when he saw my son at the store where he works. So do ya'll think I should tell our friends that we have in common why I'm giving Bob the "cold shoulder" if someone asks about it or just be quiet? (link)
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This is a tricky situation. I agree he sounds awful and I support you choosing not to continue your friendship. Though I'm not sure telling mutual friends about what his wife said would help. It might even put her in a potentially dangerous situation...you also risk having Bob confront you if one of your mutual friends tells him what you've said. My advice is, if a mutual friend questions you, give a direct answer that Bob has behaved in a way you don't agree with, but leave if at that. I also suggest that perhaps your wife could talk to Bob's wife. A man willing to hit a pregnant woman in the stomach is a dangerous man.
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There's this guy who was my instructor and everytime he explains stuffs, he looks at me a lot and usually i'm the first person he picks out.
On the last day of my course, after I handed in the attendance list, i thought he called me but thinking it wasn't for me, I walked out and then I heard him again so I went back in and I guess he was going to get me because the attendance was in his hands and he came back in the other door. He later asked me " which one is your name?" and I pointed to my name on the attendance sheet and then he said "Okay thanks". His friend was standing at the back the whole while
Later at the end of the day, he asked us to say our name and as I said mine, he was like "ah this one I know already" so I didn't get to finish saying my name
Does it mean anything? (link)
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Nope - he did know your name already and was just being friendly.
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I have two female rabbits and they are generally sociable with me and do not bite or nothing but recently for about 2 days they have been snapping and making squeking noise at me everytime I put food in their cage :/ I only pick them up to put them in their run and leave them for an hour or so to graze on the grass but I cannot pick them up now. I rarely pick them up! Is this behaviour normal for rabbits ? (link)
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I had a male rabbit act this way around mating time - maybe your rabbits are in heat?
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Does getting a tattoo behind your ear hurt? I want to get a tiny, little heart back there or an arrow pointing up as if it's saying to keep my head up. See, I have a very low pain tolerance and that's why I'm worried, I also do not like needles because I was on a medicine that made me get blood drawn six times and I hated it but I never passed out or anything because of that. I've always been that good girl that never broke the rules. I'm in college and I really want to do something like this. Thanks! (link)
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I have a tattoo behind my ear and it actually didn't hurt as much as some of my others. They only thing is the noise! That was the most bothersome part for me. Also, if this is your first tattoo you may want a more secretive or discreet place. Even with long hair people will see behind your ear on occasion.
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My daughter has been writing poems for several years, and I think she is good. I dont have much money, but I would like for her poems to be published. How do I do that? (link)
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Well it really depends. How old is she? What's your goal in having her published?
If she is in high school she should try her school news paper or local news paper. Some literary journals also publish high school students, such as Hanging Loose and Torrid. You could go to either of their websites and read on how to submit - place like this are usually free or cost a dollar or two.
If your daughter is older she could try going to Poets & Writers and searching their database for literary journals. These places also usually don't charge, but they don't pay either.
If you just want a book of your daughter's poety, you could self publish them through companies like Blurb. They will cost money, but not much if you order just a few and they look very professional.
As a side note, if your daughter is interested in having her work published that is great and if she needs your help, that's very kind of you to assist. But this should be her goal and her work, not yours.
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Ok so my ex best friends boyfriend drives meee crazzzzzy!!
I dont know what it is about him ... i just feeel so uyyyy when im with him.
So heres the story..
A couple of months ago when school started again my best friends boyfriend started hitting on me. And at first i tried telling him to stop because i dont want to hurt my friend. But theni gave in and hit on him back. So one time he and i went to sit by a tree and we were just talking.. then talking transformed into flirting then.. play fighting. And next thing i know our lips are inches away from kissing.
i realllly wanted to but then i remember my friend and at that time we were supeeerrr close..
So then i turned away and i saw my friend staring at us with tears rolling down her face.
I felt horrible. And her boyfriend ran to her.
Then that same day in 6th period my friends bf used to sit next to me and start flirting. And then when i would get home and check my facebook he would msg me.. "your tits looked nice today(;"
"I want to fuck you"
But the thing was he ALWAYS msged me first
then we sexted and my friend had her boyfriends facebook password and she read out messages. And she blocked me from his account.
I tried to apologize but she just started crying.
She didnt say anything when i called her. She was just crying. I felt so guitly.
But then i transfered schools and when i left my ex best friend forgave me but things just arent the same
and now my friend who hated my ex best friend is throwing a party and she invited my ex best friend an dher boyfriend. (Shes still with him)
And i just dont know what to do..
What if he starts flirting with me?
What if i cant resist?
How do i tell him no when i reallly want him?
I dont to hurt a second possible chance with my ex bestfriend..... but i know for a FACT he doesnt love her or
want her he just feels bad for her because shes chubby and has 0 chance with any other guy..
And i have a good number of guys asking me out but i want himmmm. My ex best friends boyfriend.and he has cheated on her before. Idk what to do...
Friendship or a guy?
Over time my ex best friend has demostratex to me that shes a true friend but shes agressive and two face sometimes...
And her bf hes such a sweetheart.
In person but online hes super perverted and a dick.
He knows when i have an urge to cry an dhe was always there to listen to me.
even whenmy ex best driend had a dight he supported mee...
But i dont know what to do...
Forget him or give in...
?
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You titled this question "ex best friend and her boyfriend." If she forgave you, why is she still your ex best friend?
I think it's because you've already made the decision that given the chance - you would hurt this girl again. You also say she's two faced...but YOU flirted with her boyfriend and are calling her chubby. It seems like you just need to make excuses for your exteremly poor behavior. You ask, what if you can't resist him? If you feel you have zero control over your actions then don't go to the party, but you have already chosen the guy over your friend. Just remember what this boy did to your friend and do not fool yourself into believing he would not do the same to you - just hope that your friends respect you more than you respect your poor "ex best friend."
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So I'm 13 female and last night we had this party thing and we smoked hub but it was му first time and I didn't smoke much. Then today I went to this place and I had 1 thing of brutal fruit and 2 brutal fruit slushies which is obviously just brutal fruit frozen/crushed or whatever cs once it melts then its brutal fruit. Well after that I started feeling really nauseas and felt like throwing up and tired and stuff. Can it be from the brutal fruit and stuff? And don't lecture ме on underage drinking cs it was just once or underage smoking cs that's also just once (link)
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I'm 26 and if I smoke and drink liquor it makes me feel sick. Also, those drinks are probably filled with sugar and alcohol turns to sugar in your body, so there's a chance that made you feel sick and tired. At any age - drinking that much sugar is bound to make you feel awful. So, as far as your age...just be smart and don't put yourself in situations in which you can't take care of yourself.
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I'm in my late 20's, and my parents are now recently separated and in the process of going through with a divorce. My mom has no boundaries with regard to keeping me out of the mess. She calls me and keeps trying to convince me to tell my dad to move back. I know very well that there's no way he will. I tell her that she cannot drag me into their mess, as it is between them two. She just calls and calls, telling me it's not right, that I need to talk to him, it'll affect her and our future, etc. I told her to respect my boundaries, but it seems to go through one ear and out the other. What can I do to make it clear to her that I want ZERO to do with their issues, and stop her from trying to drag me into it? What can I do to make sure that she will actually respect my boundaries? (link)
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unfortunately you can't force someone to respect your boundaries, you can only control your actions. If your mom calls you and begins discussing issues that make you uncomfortable, calmly tell her that you don't want to discuss it. If she pushes the matter you should tell her you are sorry she's upset, but she's not respecting you or your needs and then get off the phone- even if it means hanging up on her.
Does she have a sister you could call or a friend? Maybe letting someone else know that she needs a shoulder to cry on would give her an alternative outlet. You could also try writing her a supportive, but firm email that indicates that you love her, but refuse to discuss these matters any longer.
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First off, I'd like to say that I know nobody here is a doctor. I'm not looking for a diagnosis, I'm just looking for opinions, maybe somebody here has experienced this.
Also, do not just tell me to see a doctor, that's too pricey for me at the moment without medical insurance.
This may be long because of backstory I feel like I should add but may not be needed.
Alright so, last week I was convinced I got external hemorrhoids. I had pain when I pooped, some blood, and a decent sized bump on my anus after straining during a large poop that was in no way coming out naturally.
Now the thing is, I've always had large poops and slight constipation growing up. There has always been pain because of these large poops and the pain caused me to go a couple weeks 'holding it in' when I was about 8 because I was just so scared of it. My family has never eaten a particularly healthy diet and it doesn't help that the only veggies I can stomach are potatoes and corn. (I'm currently trying to fix the constipating and large/hard poops by drinking more water, eating some more foods high in fiber and taking fiber powers packets or stir in water.
I always strain when I poop because I'm always slightly constipated, and I poop every few days rather than everyday.
For the passed few weeks I noticed a slight bump on my anus when I would wipe after pooping, it didn't hurt or itch. I ignored it - probably in denial of possible hemorrhoids. It wasn't until last week after that particularly large poop that the cut really grew in size and convinced me I had hemorrhoids. Immediately I looked up home treatments and I now have some TUCKS products coming in the mail to help.
Now just a few minutes ago, my 'hemorrhoid' was really itchy. I tried ignoring it, not wanting to irritate it. Eventually it got so bad that I lost self control to I went to the bathroom to gently wipe with babywipes to relieve some itching (it worked). I noticed there wasn't a bump. None. But my anus itches and when I shifted a certain way on the toilet there was a sharp pain on my anus for not even a second and it went away.
Now I'm wondering, do I have hemorrhoids or just a cut on my anus?
From what I understood while reading about hemorrhoids, the bump stayed. It could be removed with surgery or pain could be relieved by applying the appropriate products on it. Or am I wrong?
I'm not entirely sure, which is why I seek some opinions from people who may have experienced this or just know more about it than I do.
Also, I didn't get a REALLY good feel of the bump when I was convinced I had hemorrhoids because, honestly, I was a little too grossed out to attempt to touch it. But from what I could tell by wiping with baby wipes, it was a fairly soft bump. Due to it's size in width, I threw out the idea of it being a pimply because I had had a pimple near my anus once before and it was just different.
I've also tried to look in the mirror but it's just not happening. I can't bend right for that. (link)
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Sounds like a hemorrhoid to me. I've had them before and this sounds pretty similar. You should definitly get some Prep H. Also get witch hazel wipes to use after you go - it helps with the inflamation. Try taking a little Metamusil (that may not be the correct spelling) it's a fiber powder, it will soften your stool.
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How would I cite this website in APA
I need it for my reference page at the end of my paper. I'm not asking for the straight out answer, just the layout if you guys know. I couldn't find it anywhere online. And the article doesn't have an author, I think that's why I'm struggling.
Thanks.
http://www.drugabuse.gov/drugs-abuse/methamphetamine
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try sonofcitationmachine.com
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