Oh, and better be aware of it now. I'm a nerd. I like my brain. Chances the advice I'll give you is to use yours, too.
But then again, don't we all love our brain?
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: October 29, 2005
Answers: 21
Last Update: March 7, 2007
Visitors: 2127
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i have known this kid for 9 years we get along great he is major cute and he liked me when we were younger but i blew it with him and now i like him...but unfortunatly he has a gf i knwo i should wait till they break up but if we go out and then break up will that jeaprodize our friendship? (link)
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If there was a fallen tree trunk barring the way to a pot of gold, would you step over it?
Another girlfriend is a fallen tree trunk.
(Unless she's your friend, in which case she is a high brick wall.)
Another girlfriend is a fallen tree trunk, but not everybody is able to go over it. Sometimes it's dirty, sometimes you fall off, sometimes you hurt yourself. Sometimes you just have to step over it.
If you do get to the other side, though, you might realize that you may have to give up friendship. Friendships after a break up are hard; you hurt him, he hurt you, you don't like him, he likes you, or vice-versa, you try to stay friend but somehow someone always ends up confused or hurt, and it's a whole big mess, and you wonder why you bothered climbing over the trunk in the first place.
Now, what you have to decide is what is the most precious to you: do you feel that your life wouldn't be complete without a kiss from the prince charming, or would you rather hang out with the jester?
Oh yeah, and if you decide to cut through the tree trunk... just remind yourself that not all guys like a lumberjill...
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I don't understand why girls don't like the "sweet" or "nice" guys anymore..All my friends that are girls, like the "Bad boys" or the "Jocks". I like one of my friends, but she likes one of the "bad boy" guys...How can I get her to realize that I could probably be a better boyfriend than him...(14/M) (link)
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First: there is no anymore. Girls have always preferred the bad boys and the jocks. Why do you think medieval literature concentrates on knights? Monks were too nice!
The problem is this: girls like bad boys as long as they don't have responsibilities. It's an unfortunate fact of life. As long as you are in your carefree teens (and not in the painful, morale-breaking twenties...), because you don't have to think about children or bills or mortgage, you like the bad boy who will make you feel like every second spent with this leather-clad rugged thug is like a thrilling adventure. You will enjoy the smell of his sweat, his muscles twitching under the leather jacket...
hm, sorry, got carried away here.
Yeah. Thugs are exciting. Plus, your parents won't like him, which is a big advantage. And he's likely to break your heart. More stuff for your journal and your friends.
The nice guy, however, is boring. Granted, he may be affectionate, attentive and faithful, but why would we want that? At a time, that is, when we're going through high school, and when our only source of motivation are the possible dramas and thrills of a relationship that is never certain?
This is why being a good guy also requires something that bad guys don't have: patience.
At one point, girls get tired of drama. Once their hearts have been broken and stepped on - or once they realize that, under the leather jacket, the guy is skinny because all the cash he would be supposed to spend on food get spent on drugs - they suddenly realize that good guys are the way to go. And of course, at this point, good guys have realized that younger girls like older guys, so girls in their twenties are stuck boyfriendless... but that isn't your problem, right?
It just takes patience. Or younger girls. At your age, it might not be recommended, but wait until you're 16... you'll see.
And just remind yourself that, in movies, the good guys always win. It's the same thing in life, except you don't have to wear tights.
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I have had these feelings latley for my friends. The problem is all my friends are girls. I am also a girl. So um I think I am a lesbian or bisexual. I tried to kiss my rfriend and she let me. I started making out with her we never talked about it again or did anything again but i want to. How do I stop liking girls (link)
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Wait until your friend spreads the rumor that you're a lesbian around school. See if you like girls after that.
No, really.
Boys like girls and it's okay.
Girls like girls and it's okay.
You don't mention your age, but I assume you're a teenager. Teenagers can get turned on by a table. What you are feeling right now doesn't necessarily mean that you will feel like this forever.
However, if the feeling doesn't go away, well, better start accepting it right now, girl. Some people are lesbians, some people are diabetic, others are accountants. Nobody's taking the easy road.
And, honestly, you didn't make out alone, did you? So there you have a proof that other people do it.
Besides, being a lesbian is hip. Homosexuality is the new black.
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15/f.
This only started this year...is it normal to get a sudden attraction to EVERY guy that passes by? (He has to be Okay looking though :P lol)......and getting a sudden urge to talk to that person or communicate to him? :O (link)
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If you get a sudden urge to talk to the person and communicate with him, you're probably not turned on. If you were turned on, you would feel the urge to copulate beastly with every guy that passes by, or at least, have a mild urge to tear their clothes off.
It is very normal. It's called hormones. And you're even more normal than some people, because some - weirdos, if you ask me - get these beastly needs to copulate with animals, children or Barbie dolls. You, on the other hand, are paving yourself the road to HSL (Healthy Sexual Life). Just remember that, just as you don't eat everything that is in the supermarket, you shouldn't jump on every guy that you see. Keep your flame for the guy who will turn your fire into a blaze!
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Yes he knows i am sad and confused and he says he is sorry and he didnt mean to confuse me. Thats why he doesnt tell me he misses me orloves me b/c he doesnt want me to read into it. I believe he cares about my feelings and thats why he left b/c he didnt want to "lead me on" he said he doesnt know why he left. I think he got scared and he runs when he is scard. As for the he doesnt say things or do things comment--its like this-he is the type of person who will tell it as it is-so i believe if he didnt love me he wouldnt tell me,or if he didnt miss me he wouldnt tell me-but when i ask he says alittle with a smile. He will say no if he had to but certain things im afraid he cant say no to...I dont really talk to any one and he was my life--and that was part of the issue-he felt trapped-and i realize i was being selfish and wanted him to myself....Do i love him or need him--well to be honest both.but i lovehim more than i need him does that make sense? any more advice from this response? (link)
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Well, then, as I said, you could probably go out and find an activity you can do without him but with other people. In this specific case, I'd suggest being a volunteer - it would give you emotional feedback from other people (knowing you're helping and all) as well as a boost of self-esteem (for the same reason. Plus, it would put you in contact with other people.
Other things, like art or gym or drama classes, going back to school, even, could also help you. You'd meet people, you could accomplish yourself in something that is exterior to your couple or your family, and, again, it would boost your confidence.
Your fiance will probably love you more if you're happier, more confident and generally radiating. Plus, you'd give him more space, you'd find new interests and, while you meet new people, you won't need him as much.
Think of your love life as the solar system. You are the sun. Your fiance might be the Earth (where the life is), but there are other planets circling around the sun, too. And anything too close to the sun dies...
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alright.. not to gross anyone out, but i have a question. so i'm 15 & sexually active & have been for about half a year. well, me and my boyfriend stopped using condoms but when we dont, i guess you could say i "spit it out", but im not talking about with my mouth. i'm wondering, does anyone know why i do that? (link)
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Just because it doesn't stay there.
You're 15 and not using condoms?
Hello STD!
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I understand and sgree with you totally. I know i have to just let him have his space and try to move forward;its hard and ipush daily to try to get through the day. I did ask him if he thinks it would workout and he said :do oyu want an answer now?" and i said no b/c i knew the answer would be no. I still see him and talk to him but even when he says he loves me sometimes it sincere and sometimes i feel he says it just b/c i did first;however he has the mind of saying if he doesnt want to say something or do something he wont. So i dont know what to think. I just know we belong together but he needs space and time;but....again. i am so confused. (link)
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Does he know this situation is making you sad and confused? Does he care about your feelings?
If you belong together, like you say, why is he making you feel this way?
You say he has the mind of saying he won't do or say things he don't want to. Does this apply in his every day life? Is he the kind of person who can say no?
I know it's hard to deal with this. Maybe, if you're not ready to let go, you should just start opening your eyes and look for better opportunities... Go out on your own, or with friends, and do activities without him. You might find out things about yourself you never suspected.
I'm not really sure if there was a question in your question. My last advice would be to do a little soul searching and ask you if you love him or if you need him.
Good luck.
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Why is it that all the questions on here are about relationship problems? Don't people realize theres more to life then the opposite sex?
Anyway, I actually do have a question. ha.
17/F ... college next year!
I was wondering what everyones take on college is? I think I'm going to look for an all girls college. Are there many around? Does anyone know of any good ones? If there are boys around I will get distracted and won't do my work. I can wait for a boy, I dont need one when I'm in college. I want to get great grades and do all my work constantly.
Also, do you think this will effect how I view my college experience? Part of the actual experience is dorm life, parties, etc. Do you think I will regret choosing an all girls school when I'm rolling in money because I stuck to my studies? (link)
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I don't live in the U.S. so I can't really help you with what colleges would be good for you...
But, as a girl who just spent two years of college with almost no interraction with boys, let me tell you this:
We are sexual beings. Being attracted to people, being loved by someone, flirting, having your heart beat faster because of that special someone... That's a need, just as eating is.
However, it doesn't necessarly mean it will distract you from your studies. But you shouldn't deny this part of you just for the money or the success (unless these are your values, in which case I should stop typing right now.)
Remember, you have four years in college. Can you go four years without what I listed above?
It's quite possible that you can. Then, all girls is probably a good solution.
By the way, do you go to school with boys? Do they distract you right now? If they don't, why should it be different in college?
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I have been dating this man for almost 2 yrs. We met on the internet and he was just getting out of a bad divorce. We were dating for almost 3 months and he left me. He said its not me its him and he had some things to clear out of his head. I was broken hearted but I understood. 2 weeks later we got back together and 2 weeks later he left-still confused-i still understood. 3 months passed and i missed him so and we started talking again-we got back together. He sold his house and moved in with me and my 2 children. He has also has a son. Things were very good and in April he asked me to marry him-of course i accepted. Ii was planning the weeding for 2007 and he moved it up to 2006. I was ecstatic so i was planning our wedding. There were times when we argued and yes i take blame for some of them. The last argument we had was b/c of the internet and things i found him going on. Well he kept saying it wasnt him and he did not look that stuff up-cookies did it--whatever. Well things escalated from there and one day he said he cant do this any more its not me its him,he doesnt want to be engaged or get married or be with anyone and he left. I was never engaged before so of course i will be all excited. He was married for 10 yrs and yes its scary for him,but why did he leave? The week he left he got distant from me and i knew something was wrong but i didnt think he was going to leave for a 3rd time. He moved up to his parents like 10 minutes from my house. I still talk to him and off and on he comes over. I miss him so much and ask him to come home--but he says its not that easy it was hard to leave he cant just come back.I understand that kind of but if he loves me why is he not coming back? what does he need to think about? I miss him so much but he wont tell me he misses me unless i ask-or he wont tell me he loves me-sometimes he does when i say it other times he says "I know". I am so confused and i know i need to let him go and let him be but it is so hard. What do I do?He knows i want him to come home,he knows i love him,he klnows we can move as slow as we need to we dont need to rush,but yet he wont come back. What can I do? Please help.
thank you
27yr old female (link)
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He is taking you for granted.
He'll keep on doing this until you put an end to the situation.
This guy is happy. He knows he has a woman waiting for him when he needs one, and he knows he can go back to his single status whenever he wants to.
He is manipulating you. He gives a little with a promise of giving you more. He keeps you hanging and waiting while he has fun.
Why shouldn't you let go of a guy like that?
If you can't let him go, confront him. Tell him you're tired of waiting for him to decide on what he wants. Tell you need an answer now, because you have a life to live and you don't want to wait for him all your life. The result might not please you but it will be easier for you to move on if he leaves you. If he says he loves you... make sure he's sincere.
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I have a friend who is really nice but lately she has been driving me crazy.
Well for example she phones me about 6 times a day. And when she calls she has nothing to say, she'll just start out saying "how's it going", and then she'll be on the phone for about 20 minutes, finally after her not talking and me doing all the talking I'll say I have to go. The she'll phone me back again and ask if I am mad at her!!. This happens EVERY day.
I am too nice to tell her to stop phoning, but it is really getting annoying. Sometimes I get so mad with all the phone calls that I'll just unplug the phone for a couple of hours, but then I miss out on other important calls from either my boss or my parents. And if I don't answer my phone until the evening she ALWAYS asks if I'm mad.
When I first met her 5 years ago she had a lot on the ball, she was skinny, pretty, and had a boyfriend. But now she is quite overweight, has no boyfriend and no job.
This one time I was waiting for a very important call from my crush. He told me he would phone between 11:00 and 12:00 so I stayed off the phone to wait for his call. Well my phone rang TWICE in the hour and it was HER!! I snapped at her after the second call and then the next day she made me feel guilty and said "is there something wrong with our friendship"!!
What am I going to do about her? (link)
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TELL HER!
There is no other way. I know what's going to happen: you'll get angrier and angrier, you'll snap at her, she'll try to make you feel guilty. She might also ignore you for a few days, waiting for you to make the first move. If you do, she'll be awfully cold and make you feel guilty.
She is NOT a good friend. She is like this huge energy-sucking monster. She'll drain you and move on to someone else once she has eaten all the "food" you can offer.
Next time she asks you if there's something wrong with your friendship, say yes. Tell her you are an independant person who values her friendship AMONG other things and that your life is about all those things, friendship included, but it's not limited to it.
She probably has a lot of problems, low self-esteem and she might be bored out of her mind. That's not your problem, however. Just point out kindly that she might want to focus on other things and that you will join her in an activity that involve both of you but also other people, if necessary.
If she ignores the problem or doesn't seem to understand you need space, tell her you understand she needs a friend, and that you respect her, but also tell her that she needs to respect you and your time. If needed, tell her you'll only give her some limited amount of time during the day and she'll need to respect the fact that you need time for yourself as well.
If she doesn't understand after that, well... it's a lost cause, I'm afraid.
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I love Seth Green and his acting, and just about every movie I saw with him in it I liked (such as Without a Paddle, Rat Race, all the Austin Powers movies, etc.), so I was wondering if anyone saw the movie "Can't Hardly Wait". I want to see it, and I'm wondering what all your opinions are about it. I also want to know if it's an appropiate movie, like does it show "anything"? I know it's rated PG-13, but I'm just wondering if it has anything really bad in it, and I dont want to waste my money on a stupid movie.
Thanks so much! I rate fives and give feedback! (link)
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It's an okay movie if you like stupid teen movies. But if you're a Seth Green fan, you're probably going to enjoy it.
If you want to see Seth Green when he was very young - around 12 - and very redheaded, I suggest It, which is a movie adaptation of the Stephen King novel.
However, if you think Can't Hardly Wait is inappropriate, you might want to wait a few years before you watch it. Also, it's a bit long (2 VHS cassettes).
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hey guys.
i'm going to be turning 15 in december, and in january i plan on applying for a job. any ideas where i could work? do you have to be 16 to be a waitress at an actual restaurant? thanks a bunch! (link)
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You should try your local grocery store. There are tons of jobs you can do there that do not require working with money (which is why they usually hire older people, I think).
It might be different in the U.S., though, so you might want to check before you actually apply.
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I just got my work schedule for a new job. The store is having it's grand opening on Thursday. I have my first shift from 5-10. I'm sure the store will be jammed pack. I'm working in the clothing department of the superstore.
Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the customers? I've never worked in retail before. I know the obvious, like be friendly and work hard, but what can I do to really impress my supervisor and make me relax a little? (link)
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Spot one customer that looks very nice and cheery, not someone who is in a hurry or someone impatient. If you can, make that customer the very first person you go to. They'll make you feel safer because you'll be able to feel like you give them good service.
From then on, you'll pick confidence.
Also, as opposed to one person who answered here, I say you shouldn't chat too much with the customers, unless they look like they want to chat. There are two reasons for that: one, there's a risk the customer won't stop chatting and you'll be stuck there, listening. Two, I think most people prefer employees who are efficient, quick and friendly, and don't like people who intrude in their lives.
You can chat a little more once you've gained more experience. Receiving "what the hell do you care" as an answer to a nice question can be a little discouraging.
Good luck!
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I'm 16 years old and I have a boyfriend I've been with for 4 months. I havn't really been the one to have a whole lot of girls as friends and the ones I've had my mom always has a problem with and in the end I'm not allowed to hang out with them. So lately its just been me and my boyfriend, which isn't bad. But I've been thinking about when I go away to college or later on in life, will I look back on this time period of my life and regret not bieng so social? My parents have been together since highschool and they are happy, but I'm not them. I just don't want to have any regrets on highschool or college or anything... (link)
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If you take pleasure in being lonely (or if Internet is your best friend), then you shouldn't force yourself to socialize. Don't believe what you see in T.V. shows about teenagers, or book series - you don't have to be friends with the whole football team and their cheerleading girlfriends to be happy in high school.
You know, regrets is all about what you make them to be. If you do what you really want to do, then you should have no regrets. If, one the other hand, what you really wish for is to be elected Homecoming Queen, well, yes, you might regret it later on. But if you want to be a loner, then that's fine.
Just keep in mind, though, that you and your boyfriend might not last forever... and if you lose this relationship, you'll probably need a shoulder to cry on (or at least an ear to hear you rant). So you should stay in touch with a small group of people.
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I was due for my period about 10 days ago and it sitll hasnt come...is this bad??and when will it come again?
(i have had it for about 3 or 4 years now)
rate 5's for anything
ohh and im not pregnant (link)
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Using birth control pills was the only thing that made my period regular. After I started taking it, I could tell at what HOUR I was going to have my period.
Being irregular is a pain, and, if you're not afraid of side effects, you probably should get birth control, even if you're not sexually active.
If you feel the usual symptoms of PMS (cranky mood, cramps, headaches), it should be just around the corner. If not, you might just skip a month, it happens sometimes.
If you changed your eating habits dramatically, or if you're going through a rough time, it's possible that your period becomes irregular. Don't worry about it.
However, if you don't get it for a few months and start feeling very bad, you should probably go to a doctor's.
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ok so this past week i have been talking to this guy on AIM, he seems really cool and im startin to like him. we exchanged numbers, but im shy and im so nrvous if he call me were not going to have anything to talk about. can u guys help me out and give some suggestionn what say n stuff
thanks in advance! (link)
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Let him talk!
Seriously. He'll think you're great, interested, a good listener... And then you can find out if he's really that cool.
A good "so...." is also a great conversation starter.
But then, maybe I lack social skills.
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Problem- Last year, CA and CB were best friends. CA use to go out with BG, but BG dumped her in August, but CA is still very inlove with him. Now they both have gone put with a couple of other people, but ofcurse CA still loves him. Now, at the end of October, BG starts to like CB, and vise versa. CA is super mad at CB because she said that "best friends are not supose to go out with people that there friend likes." Well to make a long story short CB and BG go out for like a week, and CA is SUPER mad at CB for doing that. Now CA's new best friend is KM. Well KM has liked ZK for about a week now, and and had heard that he might ask her out. Well CA decides about a week after KM told her she liked ZK that CA likes him too, but she knows that KM liked him first. Well the next time CA and KM see ZK, ZK asks CA out, and CA says yes.
Now here is the question- Don't you think it is wrong of what Ca did to KM? CA got all mad at CB for "breaking the rule" and going out with BG, but then the next week she does the same thing to KM.
(link)
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Well, you know, sometimes you just can't help how you feel. But I'm not sure this applies in this situation.
CA kind of reminds me of a friend of mine who would only fall for boys her friends liked. She wouldn't feel anything for the boy until someone said she liked him - then she would be all over him and trying to seduce him. If she achieved going out with him and losing her friend in the process, she'd dump him.
That said, I don't think it is wrong. It's stupid, but CA is free to go out with whomever she wants. ZK wasn't KM's property.
Since CA is so quick to find "new best friends" or "new love interests", however, I think her friendship is not worth much.
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My boyfriend's brother's funeral was today and after it was all over with he wanted to go to Astroworld (an amusment park). I thought it was totally unappropriate because I thought he should have been with his family. But, I went anyways, for him. His brother had committed suicide and my bf never had any room in his life for suicide. Still though, it was his brother, ya know? Do you guys think that it was weird that he wanted to go there after his brother's funeral? (link)
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Personally, I hate funerals. It's a standard way in society to mourn our deads, but it doesn't necessarly help everybody. Not everyone finds soothing in this ceremony.
That's probably what your boyfriend was looking for - soothing. He probably wanted the pain to go away and he found the best way to do that was to go to Astroworld.
I guess it's a way to cope with things. But I'd still suggest you to watch your boyfriend closely in the next few weeks. Just look for signs that he's running away for something. It's okay for him to want to forget about the pain for a day or two, but he should ultimately try to live his sorrow.
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Ok well I am a casual smoker. I used to smoke about once every six months (I limited myself). I'm not too worried about getting cancer because my mum is a chain smoker and she smoked is my washroom so I'm more likely to die of second-hand smoke. I don't care though. I'm not afraid of death.
So I've liked this guy for a few years and his sister died of cancer so I figured he hates people who smoke so that was why I never told anyone that I smoked.
For the past two weeks I have been smoking my ass off (and drinking a lot of coffee) because of all these exams, fights with my parents, stress at work et cetera. In terms of what this guy would think, I was pretty much like... whatever.
Anyway, day before yesterday he was walking in front of me and drinking coffee (which struck me as weird because he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to drink coffee) and while he was passing, this guy was like "Hey man, you gotta stop smoking over there. I know it was you!". I also thought that was weird but I figured he was just talking about weed or something.
Yesterday, we were talking about my smoking habit and my friend was like "You know who else is a closet smoker?" She said his name and told me that he smoked in his car so no one would know.
So I have a few questions (no lectures on how smoking is bad for you and how disgusting it is, thanks. I already know that I'm twice as likely to die and am injuring myself everytime I take a drag):
1. I know that non-smokers don't like to date smokers but do smokers prefer not to date smokers?
2. Do you think I should let him be aware that I smoke too?
3. Do you believe in people sending brain messages to each other? Because I JUST started smoking and drinking coffee two weeks ago and it seems like he just started recently too. Do you think maybe He/I influenced each other unconciously to start smoking and drinking coffee?
4. Do smoking and drinking coffee go together? Is it something that is totally related and that if you're a smoker, it's assumed that you're a coffee drinker.
(This is a long question. 5 to anyone with a logical answer) (link)
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I'm going to answer this because I'm in need of a 5.
Seriously, though. If this guy is really a smoker, chances are he feels guilty for smoking even knowing his sister died of cancer (you didn't mention the kind of cancer but I assume it was related to smoking).
Now, on to your questions:
1. I guess it's up to the smokers. I'm a non-smoker and have dated smokers. My mom has dated a non-smoker (which brought her to quit, but that's another story). I think some smokers might feel guilty for smoking in front of their non-smoking significant other, and they tend to avoid the guilt rather than the person. I also think that smokers usually don't want somebody pestering them about their smoking habits. That's why they might want to date other smokers, but it's not an impossible match.
2. If you think you want to have a serious relationship with him, you probably will have to let him know at some point. And since you work at the same place, he might accidentally find out. My advice would be to let things rest for a while and find out what his opinion on smokers is. If it turns out he doesn't hate smoker, bring the subject casually. If he does hate them, well, try to see where your priorities stand and try to determine whether you can compromise with him.
3. Brain messages? Not likely. If you're both the same age and going through some stress and rough times, it's quite possible that you'll resort to the same means to battle your stress. Coffee and smoking are common ways to cope with stress. Brain communication would be cool, though.
4. It depends. Some people will gladly trade a good breakfast for a couple of cigarettes and cups of coffee. However, I don't think you should assume that smokers automatically like coffee.
Hope that helps.
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i love acting. or i think i do. i love to sing.. but we live 1 billion miles away from hollywood[literally]. what should i do? (link)
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If you only think you love acting, my suggestion would be to look around in your community or your school and see if you can join a drama club or something.
If no such thing exists, then gather a group of friends and try to get them into Improv or something. Write acts, perform at the local karaoke bar, whatever, but act and sing. Practice everyday.
Then, when you feel you're ready to act professionally, look up in the phone book or on the Internet for an agent (if you can afford one) or look for casting calls for commercials. Have pictures of you taken. Appear in the Sears catalog if you have to. Just make sure you gather experience.
Whatever Paris Hilton says, you need talent to get in Hollywood. If you just fly to Hollywood and hope to work your way up to an Oscar, well, I wish you good luck, but you just might end up with a waitress job at the Planet Hollywood. (Do they still exist, by the way?)
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