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I don't understand...
I don't understand why girls don't like the "sweet" or "nice" guys anymore..All my friends that are girls, like the "Bad boys" or the "Jocks". I like one of my friends, but she likes one of the "bad boy" guys...How can I get her to realize that I could probably be a better boyfriend than him...(14/M)
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unfortunately, you dont. the friend zone is like iraq, theres no good exit strategy. you are going to have a hard enough time finding a girl that likes a nice guy, those are incredibly rare as it is. you will have a damn near impossibly time getting with a girl that already considers you as a friend. she will get hurt by her boyfriend, then come crying to you asking you why she cant find a guy like you, but not you. thats the way the world works. it sucks, but at least you are learning this early. what do you do? you dont have to stop being a nice guy, you just have to act before you become the shoulder to cry on.
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First: there is no anymore. Girls have always preferred the bad boys and the jocks. Why do you think medieval literature concentrates on knights? Monks were too nice!
The problem is this: girls like bad boys as long as they don't have responsibilities. It's an unfortunate fact of life. As long as you are in your carefree teens (and not in the painful, morale-breaking twenties...), because you don't have to think about children or bills or mortgage, you like the bad boy who will make you feel like every second spent with this leather-clad rugged thug is like a thrilling adventure. You will enjoy the smell of his sweat, his muscles twitching under the leather jacket...
hm, sorry, got carried away here.
Yeah. Thugs are exciting. Plus, your parents won't like him, which is a big advantage. And he's likely to break your heart. More stuff for your journal and your friends.
The nice guy, however, is boring. Granted, he may be affectionate, attentive and faithful, but why would we want that? At a time, that is, when we're going through high school, and when our only source of motivation are the possible dramas and thrills of a relationship that is never certain?
This is why being a good guy also requires something that bad guys don't have: patience.
At one point, girls get tired of drama. Once their hearts have been broken and stepped on - or once they realize that, under the leather jacket, the guy is skinny because all the cash he would be supposed to spend on food get spent on drugs - they suddenly realize that good guys are the way to go. And of course, at this point, good guys have realized that younger girls like older guys, so girls in their twenties are stuck boyfriendless... but that isn't your problem, right?
It just takes patience. Or younger girls. At your age, it might not be recommended, but wait until you're 16... you'll see.
And just remind yourself that, in movies, the good guys always win. It's the same thing in life, except you don't have to wear tights.
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First off, not every single girl falls for the "bad boy" type. I know I am not one of them. Someone who is rebellious, arrogant & self centered is not attractive in my eyes (if you want my opinion). But that's because I consider myself to be more mature than most people my age. I believe people who go after the "bad boy" type are usually attracted to the image more than the person. Most girls are usually in because a) they're thrill seekers b) they're immature or insecure or c) because they have poor judgement & are doing it out of rebellion themselves. For most girls, it's just a phase that'll last till their 20s - give or take. But when they actually mature & decide it's time to settle down with someone, they're going to settle for someone who's mature & treats them nice. So in the end, the nice guys win. All I can suggest is continue to be the nice guy that you are. You'll be noticed, I can promise you that.
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Good news. You have nothing to worry about.
First... Not all girls are attracted to "bad boys" and "jocks." You may think I'm lying, but I'm telling you the truth. Trust me. My boyfriend is a self-proclaimed dork and nearly chokes every time I tell him how attractive I think he is. :)
Second... Let's talk about the girls that are attracted to the "bad boys" and "jocks." I'm not a psychologist, but I do have a few theories... Because I am a female after all, and I have a few years of experience.
I think a lot of girls are probably attracted to "bad boys" during their teenage years. But I think that the attraction is... Well, they are attracted to the image that the bad boy projects, not the actual person. The bad boy projects an image of arrogance... often mistaken for confidence... and rebelliousness... often mistaken for independence, individuality, and strength. But the bad boy image is just that. An image. An attitude of arrogance is often adopted to mask insecurity. Rebelliousness to cover anger and deeper emotional issues.
Basicly... Most of the bad boys that I have known turned out to be some of the most insecure, self-loathing people I have ever met. Most of them had awful childhoods, and unresolved issues that affected their ability to form meaningful relationships in a very negative way.
So... Let's say she dates this bad boy. They won't be together for long, as so many people have all ready pointed out. He'll either do something to sabatouge the relationship, whether he intends to or not, or she'll just get sick of his ill treatment and leave him behind.
And... Hopefully, she'll grow out of this phase. (A lot do because they come to realize arrogance and confidence aren't so hot after all as they mature.) Though... I should warn you that some don't. Those that don't usually suffer from their own issues, and you wouldn't want to date them anyway. If she isn't emotionally healthy, she's not capable of having a healthy relationship. And really, you don't want anything else. You don't want to settle for anything less than you deserve either, and trust me... That's a whole lot less than you deserve.
Now that I've just written a thesis on relationships... Here's my advice. Stay sweet, stay nice... Don't ever try to be someone you're not, because you're great the way you are. If the girl you like can't realize that (hopefully she will) she's not worth having. Don't try to do anything to change her mind... Just be yourself. Because you deserve someone that likes you the way you are.
And be patient. Maybe the ladies aren't falling all over you now... But trust me, your day will come. Once the girls grow into women, they'll figure out that you're fabulous... And then they'll be lined up outside your door. Don't scoff. No matter how unlikely it may sound to you, I can imagine it now... One day your incredibly lucky girlfriend will tell you how amazing you are, and you'll nearly choke. You'll tell her that she's crazy because you're a dork. And then she'll insist that she wouldn't want you to be anything else. ;)
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Unfortunately media, advertising, and pop culture have shaped common teenage girls to think only about the look/muscles/group that the guy is.
Faced with this dilemma us of the "normal" group can only wait until they outgrow what I call the "Idiot Infatuation" stage.
Of course there are the exceptions, and one is sure to come along for you at some point.
Don't beat yourself up, and just wait until the girl/s finally get their senses together that because we are not the best looking or the most popular, we are not wrapped up in "material goods" and thus the best to choose.
Be patient.
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well, girls tend to like "bad boys" because they are, i guess you could say, mysterious, rugged, hot, haha. you know. i tend to fall for those kinds of boys too. the thing is, though, those boys tend to break girls hearts. if they get together, help her with her boy problems throughout their relationship. if they don`t, he will probably break her heart, so just be there for her, make her feel better. she`ll probably end up liking you when she sees that you are a nice guy and realizes that nice guys are better.
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I honestly don't know why girls fall for the bad boy type, I tend to do that too. But here is where it works in your favor. Those type of guys usually end up being assholes, and end up hurting the girl in some way. Thats when girls realize that they should've gone for the other guy. It just sucks that they have to get their heart broken to realize it. So thats when you come in. Just be sure not to rush things.
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I just wanted to say the person below me is right. If her heart was to get broken by one of these guys, she'll be sad, but when she realizes that you are there for her and always will be, she may realize that you really are a better person for her.
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ok first of all you need to be more confident with yourself. but that doesn't mean you need to be conceited.
ok so on with your question. not all girls go for the bad guys, and the ones that do then get their heart broken. just show the girls how you can be a better boyfriend then all of those bad boys and jocks. continue to be yourself and stay sweet and nice as you put it =]
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okay look.. once she gets heart broken which hcances are which are like 50/50 it well get broken.. that's your time to shine. you pick up the broken pieces but make sure once she's all good that you wont let her treat you like a rag because thats a different story. yeah, gurls say they like bad boys but NOT all gurls.
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