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Cigarettes And Coffee
Ok well I am a casual smoker. I used to smoke about once every six months (I limited myself). I'm not too worried about getting cancer because my mum is a chain smoker and she smoked is my washroom so I'm more likely to die of second-hand smoke. I don't care though. I'm not afraid of death.
So I've liked this guy for a few years and his sister died of cancer so I figured he hates people who smoke so that was why I never told anyone that I smoked.
For the past two weeks I have been smoking my ass off (and drinking a lot of coffee) because of all these exams, fights with my parents, stress at work et cetera. In terms of what this guy would think, I was pretty much like... whatever.
Anyway, day before yesterday he was walking in front of me and drinking coffee (which struck me as weird because he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to drink coffee) and while he was passing, this guy was like "Hey man, you gotta stop smoking over there. I know it was you!". I also thought that was weird but I figured he was just talking about weed or something.
Yesterday, we were talking about my smoking habit and my friend was like "You know who else is a closet smoker?" She said his name and told me that he smoked in his car so no one would know.
So I have a few questions (no lectures on how smoking is bad for you and how disgusting it is, thanks. I already know that I'm twice as likely to die and am injuring myself everytime I take a drag):
1. I know that non-smokers don't like to date smokers but do smokers prefer not to date smokers?
2. Do you think I should let him be aware that I smoke too?
3. Do you believe in people sending brain messages to each other? Because I JUST started smoking and drinking coffee two weeks ago and it seems like he just started recently too. Do you think maybe He/I influenced each other unconciously to start smoking and drinking coffee?
4. Do smoking and drinking coffee go together? Is it something that is totally related and that if you're a smoker, it's assumed that you're a coffee drinker.
(This is a long question. 5 to anyone with a logical answer)
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how can you not be afraid of death? thats really sick im sorry..
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1. Maybe not prefer but I would assume that they wouldn't mind as much.
2. Yeah, go for it. I mean he can be like "oh you smoke? I smoke too." you say "oh wow! what a relief, I thought you'd hate me"
3. I totally get what you mean and I agree. Read "Blink" by Malcolm something.
4. Yes, it all started with the Irish. They used to always drink coffee and beer. Then they started to drink beer and smoke at the same time. Which lead to the drinking coffee and smoking connection. Vwa la.
-Andrew(the best)
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1. Personally I think weather a person smokes or not should be way down the list of dating priorities. I assume though that if you are not a smoker you don't want to smell like one. So, more than likely a non smoker doesn't really want to date a smoker.
2.I think you should let him know you smoke. More than likely he does too, otherwise he would have noticed you smelling of smoke. Non smokers can tell if you smoke.
3.I doubt there was any brain influence going on. Drinking coffee is no different than drinking anything else.
4.I don't think it can be assumed that smokers all drink coffee. I know several smokers who never drink coffee. And hundreds of coffee drinkers who do not smoke. :)
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I'm going to answer this because I'm in need of a 5.
Seriously, though. If this guy is really a smoker, chances are he feels guilty for smoking even knowing his sister died of cancer (you didn't mention the kind of cancer but I assume it was related to smoking).
Now, on to your questions:
1. I guess it's up to the smokers. I'm a non-smoker and have dated smokers. My mom has dated a non-smoker (which brought her to quit, but that's another story). I think some smokers might feel guilty for smoking in front of their non-smoking significant other, and they tend to avoid the guilt rather than the person. I also think that smokers usually don't want somebody pestering them about their smoking habits. That's why they might want to date other smokers, but it's not an impossible match.
2. If you think you want to have a serious relationship with him, you probably will have to let him know at some point. And since you work at the same place, he might accidentally find out. My advice would be to let things rest for a while and find out what his opinion on smokers is. If it turns out he doesn't hate smoker, bring the subject casually. If he does hate them, well, try to see where your priorities stand and try to determine whether you can compromise with him.
3. Brain messages? Not likely. If you're both the same age and going through some stress and rough times, it's quite possible that you'll resort to the same means to battle your stress. Coffee and smoking are common ways to cope with stress. Brain communication would be cool, though.
4. It depends. Some people will gladly trade a good breakfast for a couple of cigarettes and cups of coffee. However, I don't think you should assume that smokers automatically like coffee.
Hope that helps.
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