I love life, I love my Husband and I love to help people! Thus the reason why I feel compelled i am here on this Earth!
I am starting my own business. Because i want to be a stay at home mother one day! Just got married 10/2005. Extremely happy! He is truly my soul mate!
I have had many experiences in my life both positive and negative. i have had many people tell me that i am very wise for my age. I only hope that i can leave this world knowing that i did the best that i could and helped people.
We are all human- Sometimes we just have to be reminded of that!- kchafin
Website: Traveling Vineyard
E-mail: kimchafin@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: South Carolina
Occupation: Analyst
Age: 20
Member Since: November 20, 2006
Answers: 27
Last Update: January 21, 2009
Visitors: 4525
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Okay I am Only 14 years old...and my boyfriend Has been dealing alot with depression like he wants to kill himself and right now he is in a Mental Hospital and i keep telling him that that's not a way out and im a christian and i dont really know what to tell him i always tell him that if he did commited suicide that he would go to hell and that he was put here on Earth for a reason I just need more advice PLEASE HELP! (link)
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it is sad that you are so young and having to deal with this. You are on the right track telling him that he was put on this earth for a reason- i believe that is true for everyone! However, i wouldn't use the scare tactic that you'll go to hell. Some people can't help the way they think - this is the human side of us. We'd like to believe that the spirit or soul side of us would take over and "save" us when we need it- but it doesn't always work. My advice is to just BE there for him. he needs a friend right now more than a "girlfriend". he needs to know that it will be ok no matter what he's going thru it will ALWAYS get better! Believe me i'm 28 and i've had a rough childhood- I KNOW it will get better. You might try asking him if you can pray with him or even pray for him while you are visiting him. Suicide is a very selfish thing to do and many people don't see it that way - but consider this- when you commit suicide you are only appeasing yourself and YOU don't want to have to DEAL with things anymore so YOU are ending it! he may not realize this is the case; dont' call him selfish, just try and make him realize that he is not alone and he does have friends, family and jesus that care about him very much! when you commit suicide- you are only hurting your friends and family even more- they will have the constant questions- did i have anything to do with it? did i cause it? was there something i could have done? why did he do this? i can't believe he did this he was so loved! in addition- getting thru whatever he is going thru- will definately make him and you and your relationship stronger even if it ends in friendship- that's ok because you are there for eachother and that's the most important thing!
I hope this helps!! Please remember even though you feel older you are only 14 you have a very long life ahead of you as does he!
Please talk to your parents/family member or friends about this situation- someone you can trust and are close to=- you are gonna need support.
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how do you respond to a guy when he grabs your butt? (link)
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2 ways-
1 If the butt grab was out of line of unwelcomed then firmly ask him not to do that again- if he does then seek harrassment charges. tell a teacher or tell a parent this can easily lead to unwelcomed things- such as rapes and sexual harrassment
2 if the booty grab was welcomed- then all you have to do is turn and smile and walk off! Maybe throw a wink in. ;)
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me and my boyfriend are allllways bored at my house... what can we do besides sexual things.. like wrestle, etc. (link)
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when my husband i were dating we used to play wrestle that's always fun. Also you can buy a deck of cards and learn new games together. Get board games or hang out with other couples/friends. Play video games together, go for a walk, go for a drive, have a hobby together. Take interests in each other's hobbies.
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Ok well this is hard 2 explain. Ok so lately I've been feeling depressed. Idk y I think its because if school and such. Since I started high school its all just catching up. So. I have new friends and stuff and now like I don't know why but I'm always happy in school. Like I can't let my feels show. I'm always acting perky so noone will suspect a thing. Then I notice and ask myself questions like why am I acting this way. I really don't know why. I hope you guys understood me because it was hard to explain. Why do u think I'm acting like this like hiding my feelings in school and then continue to be depressed at hom. any advice is useful thanks! (link)
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You need to look for any recent changes in your home/school life. Has someone moved away? are your parents having problems? did a pet recently pass on? are you having trouble coping with changing schools/friends. Even the smallest little change in our lives can affect people very dramatically. Always try to find outlets if you like to draw then use that to brighten your day or if you like to read then use that.
As humans we all go thru changes in our lives you have to learn to accept good and bad changes and learn how to deal with them.
if something negative has impacted your life you must find a way to either solve the issue, change it, turn it into positive spin, etc. You must dig deep down and find the person that you are. Don't let anyone try to change who you are!
The reason why you are "happy" in school is because that is your subconcious trying to hide your true feelings. That is classic depression actions. You need to try and get out of this depression on your own- believe me you don't want to be put on medicines if you don't have to! You have the strength inside you to move past this and make your own destiny!! God never puts you thru anything that he knows you can't handle. Prayers work miracles every day!
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name your favs! anyone in the industry? if ya are mind throwing some tips out on how to make it as a comic book artist? (link)
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www.joecartoon.com
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I am only 14 and i live in Metairie,LA. i was hit by hurricane Katrina and was sent to lafayette to live with my Aunt with my mom and sister all last year. we have just moved back and am now liveing with my dad again. Since the school year started i have been in a state of depression. It wasnt as bad at first. My sister and i are only 15 months apart. we were very close. Since we now go to the same school i get treated like i am her bitch. but then at home its like we are sisters again. i am to tired to eat, i dont do homework i sleep in all of my classes, and ttruthfuly dont care anymore. i have tried to kill my slef but my friend steped in and got me help. i went and saw a concerlur and that did nothing. i do not fit in with my family. my mother and i used to be so close and she was very involved in my life. i used to be able to tell her eveyrthing but im so scared to talk to her and tell her what is really going on in my life. i dont get along with my dad. my sister is a saint in my parents eyes. to my dad i do nothing right even when he is in the wrong im still not right. i get in these moods where nothing feels better then to cut myslef or just the thought of pulling that triger makes me feel more calm. i dont like it when i am like this but i cant help it. I am in fear of what i might do tomyslef when no one is there to stop me. I want to move back in with my Aunt. There in lafyette i feel safe. i dont get into those moods. I am currently spending a weekend with my Aunt and i want to bring up the topic of moving in with her to My aunt and my mother. I dont know how to tell them what i am going through, im afraid my mom will get mad and eveyrhting will just get worse. i have no idea how to tell her whats going on. i sugar coat everyhting with a smile but lately i just dont feel like lieing anymore and i hate kepping this from my mom but i just dont know how to start the conversation.. please any ideas are welcome! (link)
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Katrina changed a lot of lives- some for the worse and some for the better. Sometimes people have a hard time coping with life and learning how to move past hard times. If you once felt a bond with your mother i would try very hard to get that bond back. I am not sure what is going on that you don't feel that way again- but that is something very precious to have and those who have that are lucky. Listen- you are already afraid and feel alone and upset with the situation you are in. Talk to your Mom or Aunt whomever you feel would understand your situation best. Ask them to be open minded about your conversation and be completely honest with them! Your family needs to stick together to get past these hard times! you need to depend on eachother for comfort and support. Try to be positive suicide or hurting yourself won't help anyone or anything it will only make matters worse and make you feel worse about yourself! You have just lost track of who you used and been shaken to the core by a horrific tragedy. You must recall the person that you used to be and become who you are once again!
It makes me think that there are other reasons why you want to go back to Lafayette because you said you feel "safe" there. If someone in your family is "hurting" you- you must notify a family member you absolutely trust and seek help from officials and/or psychologist. You have to keep the strength to help yourself!
Hope this helps!
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Pk now I'm not virgin and all but I thought you get pleasure out of having sex? Well I'm not actually I'm getting paon and lots of it!!! Whats the problem?
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Please, please go to see your Dr. (gynocologist) you need to be examined. If you are experiencing pain with intercouse then that could be a symptom of something else going on inside your body. It is very important to tell the DR everything that you feel is pertinant to your pain. The Dr. needs to be well informed to be able to help you.
You are correct sex is supposed to be pleasurable and not painful- Absolutely!
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I've never had a boyfriend, and I know for a fact this guy is going to ask me out this week. I want to say yes, but what do I do? Just say yes? (link)
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Of course say YES!
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I'm a 19 year old female. My fiancee and I have been sexually active for quite a while now and we've always had issues with his size. I'm a fairly petite woman and he's very well endowed. We use lubricant and we have foreplay for quite a while, yet sometimes I still bleed. We've tried putting me on top and it's less painful, but it's less pleasurable for me. Does anyone have any other ideas that I might have overlooked? (link)
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I would definately consult a Dr. That is not normal for you to be in pain or even bleed as a result of sex. I am a petite person as well and what i ask of my husband is to not try and go so deep.
Hope this helps!
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Okay so, this weekend I'm gonna be hanging out with some friends. One of them being the boy who has a little crush on me. I kindof have one on him too, the only problem is when we're around eachother we talk BUT we mostly walk away and talk to other people. So, my question is..What are some cute, flirty things I can say and do to get his attention? I want to talk to him throughout the whole time we hangout..I really need some GOOD answers. Even if it's just one thing PLEASE SAY IT! Anything at all will help. Being/talking with this boy all day would make my year. THANKS IN ADVANCE! (link)
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does he have interests/hobbies? if so then bring that up and talk about that.
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okay, well i have no idea what to get my boyfriend for christmas.
he doesnt like sports, nor fishing etc..
he is more into music
and i would like to get him something more special then just concert tickets or somthing.
pllllease help with cute ideas
thank you!! (link)
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well my cousin did this really cool gift for his girlfriend - here's what he did
wrapped up a huge box (computer box) had it rigged so that when she opened the "first" box it triggered rubberbands to unwind and confetti went everywhere. Inside that box was a small gift (gloves, scarf) then another box inside the large one with another gift and so on and so forth. When she finally got to the bottom of all 5 boxes there was an envelope with her name on it and it had concert tickets in it. I thought that was the most romantic gift that i had ever seen. It cost that much since he created it himself and she had so much fun opening it!
hope this helps!
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k so i know i dont have that good of self confidence.. does it atract girls or turn girls off if so tell me how i can change this please.. i have a problem with being happy with myself
15/m (link)
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honestly. Depends on how self confident you are. If you are more so on the "cocky" side that is a serious turn off. If you are on the other side then that is perfect!
Also it depends on the girl. If someone is attracted to you it really doesnt matter who you are. The most important virtue is to be honest to yourself and others. that is a very rare virtue and one that is greatly appreciated. Basically just be your sweet self! no worries
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Hey everyone. Well, I started my period about 5 days ago and have a few questions. #1: How long does a period last?? #2: How long should you wait to start wearing tampons? and then i have a concern. i wear pads of course, but blood has gotten into EVERY pair of underwear i wear. what can i do about this? i can't go out buy a whole supply of underwear every week. HELP!!!!! thanks! (link)
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a normal period usualy lasts b/t 3-6 days. if they continue to last longer consult a DR
i started using tampons immediately i hated those stupid pads- do not forget to take them out when inserting another tampon. also- do not keep them in too long as it can cause TSS (toxic shock syndrome) sometimes depending on your flow it may be necessary to wear a panty liner with a tampon to prevent stains.
If your periods are heavy- meaning if you are wearing a pad and with in 4 hours it seeps thru then you need to see a DR
Sweety if you started your period 5 days ago and are still on your period and it is that heavy i would go to see a DR. If your periods are painful and inconsistant then you may want to be put on birth control. It seriously helps your flow and cramps.
BUY cheap underwear and only use thos undies for your girlie days!!
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alright, there's this junior at my school. we'll call him mark. mark liked me and another one of my friends and wanted to hook up with one of us. neither of us really cared so we both tried to get with him. we both started to like him a little. now mark likes me more, my friend is like madly in love with someone else and i realized i don't like him at all anymore. at all. he's a pervert, and he's cool, but he doesn't make me feel like other guys have made me feel. like i want to feel. actually, i don't feel anything for him, except guilt.
ANYWAY, TO SUM THIS UP:
mark likes me, I don't like him, i'm completely leading him on from when i DID like him, and now i feel like i should go out with him because seriously, i'm COMPLETELY leading him on, because i'm retarded, but i really don't want to, and i can't just be like "um no" after making him think it was all good.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DOO.
btw: "mark"'s a junior, & i'm a freshman. but he's only one year older than me because i transfered from iowa, where the cut-off's different. i'm 15 and he's 16.
ahhh, help me!! he wants to hang out this weekend, and he's cool and i'm down with that, but omg.....i don't want him to think it's a group date or something! (link)
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You should definatly tell him how you feel! You guys can hang out and be friends that's cool! Don't lead him on that will only cause hurt not only for him but also for you as well as you have already mentioned. Be honest- it might not be comfortable at first but if he falls for you then he really won't be happy! Don't ever ever date someone out of guilt or any other reason other than the most acceptable one- You care for the person. If you care for this guy at all in the slightest way you'll talk to him! Don't just use the crap - let's be just friends he's a human being and he'll get over it just be honest with him. But don't word it like you did in this column. :) Life is too short to be doing things you don't want to do!
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Can a girl get pregnant if she is on the pill and you "let go" in her the first week after her period? (link)
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There have been cases where girls have gotten pregnant without even having sexual intercouse. Her chances are greatly decreased while she is on the pill. however there are factors that you may not be aware of which can decrease the efficiency of the "pill" for example if she is on certian types of medicines (antibotics) - does she take her pill routinely meaning around the same time every day and remembers to take them EVERY day! Also if she just got on the pill then her body might not be used to it yet. I would suggest using condoms always! Believe me i'm not a supporter of those and i'm a girl but if you want to be safe then do it!
Long story short- a girl can get pregnant at any time in any circumstance where fluids have exchanged! (well of course except for strictly oral)
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I am 17, and my boyfriend is 18.My boyfriend and I have been together now for almost a year and we are promised to each other to get married, I love him so much and i have never felt like this about any guy before until now. The thing is that he and I have a guy best friend Jake and when my boyfriend moved away to TN our other friend Jake and i started hanging out and i had a slight infatuation with him but i still was in love with my boyfriedni had to be honest so i told my boyfriend about how i felt and i ended up secretely dating both of them for a week, i broke it off with Jake because i felt so guilty about cheating, and my boyfriend knows. He knows how i feel and that we will be together froever but he has a massive trust issue with me. What can i do to make this trust issue go by faster so we can be happy together again? (link)
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First of all- the first step was you telling him! good job on that! I had a similar situation in my relatinship. So i can empathize with you! Honestly you don't want to hear this but it takes time! You have to make him feel that he can trust you. You have to work together to get past this because if he keeps these issues bottled up then your relationship could fail as a result. You have to be very understanding and supportive of how he must feel right now. He feels betrayed - confused- imbarrassed and i am sure many more. Guys dont usually say what they feel or what they think so you may have to pull conversations out of him. the best thing to do is talk about it - BUT don't let him keep throwing it in your face it's over and done and he needs to accept that and move on- if he can't accept that then there's a problem. HE must be assured that you will never ever betray him again. Guys are more insecure that they let on but they will never show because that's a weakness- you have to be there for him. do not see this other guy again - if JAKE was a friend to either of you he never would have done that- i don't care what he says that's not cool!
Basically you both have to be patient and need lots of quality time and with time on your side you guys have nothing to lose!
Best wishes
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I am in the musical Annie, for my school. I have recieved the large part of Grace Farell. As you know, she has one important song to sing; I Think Im Gonna Like It Here.
I love singing, and acting, but i have a problem with nerves before shows.
What are ways to bring those down [ and i mean my nerves go insane! ]?
Thanks in advance.
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Well my stomach used to get way messed up before i would perform. If you get nauseous then ask your DR about an RX called Levsin. They give it to patients that have stomach viruses and such. It might make you sleepy so if you get this try it way before the show so that you can see how it affects you. Also do breathing techniques. Try to start meditation or Yoga these exercises help you to train yourself to stay calm.
Congrats on the part!
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hello, well i have very serve anxiety disorder to the point where i need anxiety medication aka depression medication....i wanted to know what are the side effects and is it ok to drink alchol on them...im pretty young 16 and im very little 5'2 100 pounds....if that makes a difference....im not sure what medication im getting but i heard the side effects are all pretty much the same
thanks (link)
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i'm just gonna give you a website-
www.webmd.com you can look up medicatins there they have an A-Z guide that includes side effects and all that good stuff. Plus you're a very small person (as am i) so medicines at a "normal" dose for you could have adverse or even more severe effects that it would on an average sized person.
Remember each medication is different and can affect each person differently.
PS if you are already depressed you should really limit your alcohol intake. :)
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How do you know if a guy truely loves you when they say they do? If he stares at you for a while and says that he loves you does that mean he truely loves you i just need to kno how do you know when a guy really loves a girl.. (link)
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He can stare at you until he's blue in the face it doesn't mean that he loves you.
Here's the trick love is just a 4 letter word. You have to show someone you love them and not just say it or play google eyes. It's in the way he treats you- how does he introduce you to people- does he respect you- does he respect your family - is he into things you like to do (merely because he wants to be with you) - if this is true love you can feel it in your heart and your soul and you can feel it in his touch. (not sex) he loves you he makes sacrafices- relationships you have to give and take. it's not one sided at all. These are just some things to look for. But ultimately you are tuly the only one that knows if it's love or not. Sounds like to me that you have doubts otherwise why would you even have to ask.
Much happiness- don't settle for anything strive for the real thing- true LOVE
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I need the following:
-- Workouts for abs: longterm definition. Dont just say crunches, tell me HOW to do them [I would prefer other workouts instead of just crunches; they seem to hurt my back and don't do anything]I WANT A PACK.
-- Workout for your lovehandles: Any way to tone them down?
-- What about butts? I have a flat small bottom, and I'm looking for something that will fill out my jeans, instead of looking like im wearing a diaper.
Thanks in advance... (link)
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I love kickboxing and martial arts. Those are really great sports for anyone with any goals. Also try to do small things such as get a balance ball and while you're watching tv Use it to do crunches- It is way more comfortable and much more versatile. You can put it against your back up a wall and bend up and down this is good for your buttocks. There are so many exercises you can do with this ball. Also you may want to look into Pilates or Yoga this uses stretching and flexing to get you into shape. Also it makes you feel better!
The most fun though i'd have to say is kickboxing!!
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