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I am in a state of depression and am scared of what i might
I am only 14 and i live in Metairie,LA. i was hit by hurricane Katrina and was sent to lafayette to live with my Aunt with my mom and sister all last year. we have just moved back and am now liveing with my dad again. Since the school year started i have been in a state of depression. It wasnt as bad at first. My sister and i are only 15 months apart. we were very close. Since we now go to the same school i get treated like i am her bitch. but then at home its like we are sisters again. i am to tired to eat, i dont do homework i sleep in all of my classes, and ttruthfuly dont care anymore. i have tried to kill my slef but my friend steped in and got me help. i went and saw a concerlur and that did nothing. i do not fit in with my family. my mother and i used to be so close and she was very involved in my life. i used to be able to tell her eveyrthing but im so scared to talk to her and tell her what is really going on in my life. i dont get along with my dad. my sister is a saint in my parents eyes. to my dad i do nothing right even when he is in the wrong im still not right. i get in these moods where nothing feels better then to cut myslef or just the thought of pulling that triger makes me feel more calm. i dont like it when i am like this but i cant help it. I am in fear of what i might do tomyslef when no one is there to stop me. I want to move back in with my Aunt. There in lafyette i feel safe. i dont get into those moods. I am currently spending a weekend with my Aunt and i want to bring up the topic of moving in with her to My aunt and my mother. I dont know how to tell them what i am going through, im afraid my mom will get mad and eveyrhting will just get worse. i have no idea how to tell her whats going on. i sugar coat everyhting with a smile but lately i just dont feel like lieing anymore and i hate kepping this from my mom but i just dont know how to start the conversation.. please any ideas are welcome!
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heyy,
Honestly i know what you mean, i live in Florida and get hit by many hurricanes every year, even though none can compare to what happened there. I think you need to keep one main thought in mind, The hurricane may have damaged your City, but it didnt take away your precious memories. You cant let a tradegy take over your life, my aunt was in the hospital in new orleans when it hit and she ended up passing on, it hurt and then i realized i wasnt going to let the storm win (if that makes sense to you) you cant let it take over your life and take away things that were so precious to you at one point. Try to slowly get back to your oldself.
i hope i helped!
xoxox
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Katrina must have crushed you. My advice is talk to someone you trust. It could just be your period moodswings kicking in. Depresion usally happens to me when i feel unloved and uncared about. I think you should tell someone because if you dont its just gonna get all bottled up and your gonna explode. I know the feeling of being lost and confused...feel free to IM me if you need to talk but just dont hurt yourself.
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Katrina changed a lot of lives- some for the worse and some for the better. Sometimes people have a hard time coping with life and learning how to move past hard times. If you once felt a bond with your mother i would try very hard to get that bond back. I am not sure what is going on that you don't feel that way again- but that is something very precious to have and those who have that are lucky. Listen- you are already afraid and feel alone and upset with the situation you are in. Talk to your Mom or Aunt whomever you feel would understand your situation best. Ask them to be open minded about your conversation and be completely honest with them! Your family needs to stick together to get past these hard times! you need to depend on eachother for comfort and support. Try to be positive suicide or hurting yourself won't help anyone or anything it will only make matters worse and make you feel worse about yourself! You have just lost track of who you used and been shaken to the core by a horrific tragedy. You must recall the person that you used to be and become who you are once again!
It makes me think that there are other reasons why you want to go back to Lafayette because you said you feel "safe" there. If someone in your family is "hurting" you- you must notify a family member you absolutely trust and seek help from officials and/or psychologist. You have to keep the strength to help yourself!
Hope this helps!
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