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How do i fix a trust issue with my boyfriend?

Question Posted Monday November 20 2006, 6:03 pm

I am 17, and my boyfriend is 18.My boyfriend and I have been together now for almost a year and we are promised to each other to get married, I love him so much and i have never felt like this about any guy before until now. The thing is that he and I have a guy best friend Jake and when my boyfriend moved away to TN our other friend Jake and i started hanging out and i had a slight infatuation with him but i still was in love with my boyfriedni had to be honest so i told my boyfriend about how i felt and i ended up secretely dating both of them for a week, i broke it off with Jake because i felt so guilty about cheating, and my boyfriend knows. He knows how i feel and that we will be together froever but he has a massive trust issue with me. What can i do to make this trust issue go by faster so we can be happy together again?

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kchafin answered Monday November 20 2006, 7:40 pm:
First of all- the first step was you telling him! good job on that! I had a similar situation in my relatinship. So i can empathize with you! Honestly you don't want to hear this but it takes time! You have to make him feel that he can trust you. You have to work together to get past this because if he keeps these issues bottled up then your relationship could fail as a result. You have to be very understanding and supportive of how he must feel right now. He feels betrayed - confused- imbarrassed and i am sure many more. Guys dont usually say what they feel or what they think so you may have to pull conversations out of him. the best thing to do is talk about it - BUT don't let him keep throwing it in your face it's over and done and he needs to accept that and move on- if he can't accept that then there's a problem. HE must be assured that you will never ever betray him again. Guys are more insecure that they let on but they will never show because that's a weakness- you have to be there for him. do not see this other guy again - if JAKE was a friend to either of you he never would have done that- i don't care what he says that's not cool!

Basically you both have to be patient and need lots of quality time and with time on your side you guys have nothing to lose!
Best wishes

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t0xicParadiSe answered Monday November 20 2006, 7:40 pm:
This might not be the answer you want to hear, but honestly it's not going to take him that fast to get over it. He has trust issues with you because you cheated on him once so he's not sure if you'll do it again. I'm sure he understands how much you love him which seems like you really do, but you just have to give him time. Talk to him about this. Everyone makes mistakes but if you two truely love each other, you will put those mistakes in the past and move on with your lives together. just remember to give him time.


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XoXBrittneyXoX answered Monday November 20 2006, 7:37 pm:
I have had a boyfrined for 1 year and 3months now and i had cheated on him before (noy like haveing sex with the other boy but you know other stff) and well i told my boyfriend and he had a real bad trust issue with me for a while and he still has a little one every now and then... the best thing i can say is show him that you love him and care about him tell him that he is everythig to you and make him fell special... really the only thing you can do is give him time and just show him that you rele love him...

hope i helped :D

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