dropkickCathyy's advice column

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Q: i still love my ex. i am dating someone though. and today i finally talked to my ex since our break up. he got into a wreck adn got a dui and mip. he is in job corp and on probation and may be going to jail. while we were talking he told me that he thinks about me quite a bit, and i told him that i stll love him. i don't know how to tell my new bf cuz he loves me adn wants to get married soon. but i was engaged to my ex when i told him that i had feelings for another guy, we broke up and got back together, then after a lil while he broke up with me. i tried getting over it and got with another guy, who is great and everything i could possibly want. but really all i want deep inside is my ex, how do i let my bf know this and let my ex know that i love him and would do anything to get him back. ps, i fucked him over a lot adn he fucked me back, but i know we can get over it. please help

Although it may hurt you're new boyfriend, just tell him. You need to focus on your happiness first rather than the happiness of someone else as selfish as that may sound. Just tell him that you're sorry and that he's a great guy but you still love your ex. It may hurt it but at least you're being honest. And for your ex. Just tell him EXACTLY how you feel, no one can tell you what to tell him because we don't know how your relationship with him was and how you feel about him. All in all the only answer is to be completely honest.

Q: what are the codes to make writing bigger on myspace

write < b > before the text, but without the spaces in between then after you write what you wanted big put < / b > without the spaces.

Q: For my friend's birthday, were going to Red Robin. The thing is, I'm on a diet and I looked up their menu online. I can't find one thing on it that isn't too many calories, low in sodium and sugar, and low in fat. Any suggestions??

Well, seeing as how it's your friend's birthday you should just go and eat. What's one meal? It's her birthday, and it'd be a really nice gesture. Think of her rather than yourself. You can make up for the meal later on.

Q: i have been on birth control for two months now. i am on my second "rouund" now and I missed 2-3 days of taking the pill. My bf and I had a close call when we were fooling around and we think theres a small but scary chance that i could be prego. Does anybody know how long birth control stays in your system?

(( I don't want any ruuuuude remarks, you'll get a 1!! ))

Birth Control Pills work on a 24 hour basis. A single pill stays in your system for 24+ hours, thats why they need to be taken at the same time each day, to make sure you get a continuous dose of hormone. So, in essence, the day or so after you take the last active pill, it is out of your system.

Q: Hi there. I have a kind of situation in here, which may need help.
I broke up with this girl from 2 months before, as she was having some emotional problems with someone else (ex, long story). Well, as i needed some answers of why, i asked her 3-4 times to speak to me, but first she told me she doesnt think so, then she told me she needs time, and than again she needs time and so on.
Last Thursday she sent me a message "i dont know if i should be telling you this, but i saw you in my dreams these days, tormenting me. Maybe because of the july, i dont know". (we used to knew eachother in July before 2 years). I told her that i kept seeing her too in my dreams and that is very strange.
Well, i dont know, this girl or is too stupid, or too smart :) yesterday, i told to her this other message "you know that i dont like superficiality. I know you thought a lot before sending me that message. If there is something to talk, lets talk.". And later she told me: "I just wrote some thoughts, thats it. There is no need to make it such a big deal. I didnt ask any answer in return, just describing some dreams. Goodnight!"
I told her this other thing: "I dont know why it was so important to tell me about those dreams, knowing the fact that im going to move on.
Dont put me in a game where you dont want to play". After that, i received this other one: "Hey, i didnt beg you for not moving on, or asked anything from you. I just told you some dreams, and your reaction is up to you. I am not playing, i never did.".

Well, as i see, this one or is too stupid or is too smart. You break up before 2 months and you cant send your ex a message like this. I think this is not so normal, isnt that ? I think this is a way to keep me around, so i told her "its not a problem, you can share whatever you want, but dont tell me you werent expecting for an answer :)"
On the other side, i know she is with someone else right now (this ex of her, i told you before. i dont know how is going, but i dont think its going fine between them). What do you think? Was it just a "share of thoughts" or its like a playing mind games? What do you think about this one? cause every time i asked her what is up in her mind, she doesnt admit that she wants anything. Ok, i guess, and i know her enough to say this, cause in these kind of situations, she doesnt have the courage to ask me anything, or to make clear or admit that she wants me to take her back, cause she wants me to make this tought decision by myself. What do you think? What do you suggest? I want this girl back, i admit this. She has been my love, and i still love her, but i dont want to be hurt again, i mean, i have to admit that im a little afraid about her real wants and needs, and im afraid that im being a little pathetic and is only my mind who is making these situation, and i dont want to make a decision and ask her to come back, because of this. Or i should at least try? What do you suggest?

It's hard to tell if she was playing games with you. She may have been, or she may have just been telling you something she felt the need to tell you. Or she might have even done a bit of both, seeing as how some girls tend to tell someone something but not really notice they're doing it to play a game or get the reaction they want out of the person. You say you love her, but you don't want to get hurt. If you love her and want her back then go ahead and tell her you still have feelings for her, but don't make her feel like she's needed. Just tell her you like her and are willing to get back together if anything were to happen between her and her boyfriend. If that happens, let her know that you don't like the fact of there being another guy in the picture. If you two get back together, before doing so, make sure she doesn't still have feelings for him, because things will probably repeat itself. Once you've told her that, just drop it, don't bring it back up. Go on with whatever it is you do. Tell me how things go =]

Q: i listened to this song on the radio it goes like
love me love me say that you love me...
thats all i can remember thanks

Love Fool - The Cardigans

Q: What can happen if you are caught underage smoking?
At my local shopping mall a lot of us from my school (we are 16) and many others our age smoke in the designated smoking area and the security guards see us but what can happen? Can they do anything?
One time they just came over and asked us what we were doing out of school. i live in Australia by the way. I'm 16/f.

Thanks

They take them and give you a citation so you'll have to pay. Usually not all that much money.

Q: can someone help me find a site that tells you all the ingredients in various alcoholic drinks and the difference between all of them?

http://bar.tv/
Just enter an e-mail.

Q: well me and muh boiifrined jusr broke up and i rally liked him. lets just say i was really hooked. and i think he left me for another gurl but i aint sure. and this is like the third time i get muh heartbroken this bad. and im so thinkin bout becomin a lesbian. wut should i do??

One qustion, how do you "become" lesbian? You can't just decide you want to be and then later on be like "Oh no, I was only lesbian for 2 weeks." Which people tend to do alot. You can't "become" anything, you either are or you aren't. Sorry, it just pisses me off when people say that. Not trying t offend you, but that's kind of stupid.

Q: so i hooked up with my friend over the weekend. and now all he wants to do is hook up. and we got in this fight yesterday. i found out today he was like "ef her" and saying all these bad things about me to my friends and trying to get them to be on his side. i want to hook up but after what he said, i don't know if I should. i just want to hook up for fun, nothing serious. what should i do? should i or should i not?

Don't take that from him. If he's going to be a dick then fuck him... just not literally. Eh, I hope you get what I just tried to say >.o I'm not going to tell you to stop hooking up, but I'd suggest it. I used to hook up for fun and it bit me in the ass. People will eventually know if bout it no matter what (if they haven't heard already) and you'll just get a bad reputation. Respect yourself. Don't take shit from anybody.

Q: so, how do you get rid of a decent sized keloid on the back of your cartilage?

...without seeing a doctor? [expensive!]

will 'time heal all'?

Compression, apply a bandage or tape to apply continuous pressure 24 hours a day for 6 to 12 months. Pressure will reduce the size by at least 50%. Or you can use moist burn wound treatments with silicone gel sheets, Biodermis is a really good one. If you want to know more about it here's the link. http://www.biodermis.com/?gclid=CJWx_orgzIwCFRlmWAod6WF8tQ

Q: 14/f

i was textin` my boyfriend.. and then he had a problem w/ my top at first.. since he was number three.. but he had to understand that no guy can go before my bestestest friend.. and that i couldnt make her number 3 either.. and he didnt care about that, i think.. O.o and then it turns out that he didnt like the person on my top 1.. and stuff like that.. but he doesnt know her well enough to say things about her and all. and then later on he told me that he was going to miami next month for a week, and he said "it wouldnt be any difference.. we never get to see eachother anyways, we can js text." and i was lik` "i see you every week" and he said "haha yeahh.. wait lemme correct that, once a week." and he doesnt understand .. cause i have alot of things to do.. depends on the weather, my sister sometimes cant take me.. and my parents dont like me being w/ him and stuff.. and hes the only person i get to see every week since my friends live kinda far away from me. and then i said "is something bothering you?" and he said "no nothing at all" >.< and he says that hes thinking about the past.. and i told him that hes worrying me. and he said "whys that?" and i told him to reread that he said.. and yannoe what he said? "-_- whatever.." >.< idkk whats going on.. i wanna stop texting because im scared whats going to happen. he says he wouldnt leave me cause he loves me so much.. but idkk >.< im getting scared.. and worried. please help me!!!

♥ mary

First of all, stop worrying yourself so much over it. If it's something big or anything like that, he'll tell you eventually. Thinking about it so much and worrying yourself about it is not going to make you feel any better. If he says nothing is wrong, just listen to him, even if you know it's not necessarily true. If he isn't telling you then he obviously doesn't want to. Don't keep asking him though. If you have to know though, don't talk about it over text, wait until he comes back and then talk to eachother about it. If he still won't tell you and you're worried, just ask him it's anything you should be worried about or if it has anything to do with the two of you. If he says no the only thing you can do is take his word for it. But before he gets back next time you text him just ask him if he wants you to just talk to him when he gets back seeing as how he said he's thinking about the past. Let him think. Give him the time to. In the meantime, just stop worrying yourself about it so much. And try not to think of what could be wrong because it's going to make you worry that much more.

Q: i love you so much and i cant wait till sunday!!!!!!! i love you

love jordan
p.s. and waldo :)

I love you so much too. Gah, I'm so exciteddd. I'm giving you THE biggest hug ever when I get to your house. Oh, and do you think Waldo will be there because I haven't seen him in forever either. I love you, baby. =]

Q: 4 more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you sooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!

2 more days! Yayy. I'm so happy. I can't wait, at all. I'm going crazy without my Jordan =[

I love you too. x36585689705698567

Q: i love you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aw, I love you too. I miss you so much, I can't stand it. I want to see you. Scratch that, I NEED to see you.

Q:

in my lang. arts class we have to choose a poem that we;re going to recite on the last few days of school. and i cant seem to choose a good one. can someone help me? with links?

fyi. it has to be 20 lines. and HAS to be published. cant be off someones xanga or other personal site.

thanks.

Does it have to be at LEAST 20 lines or jst 20 lines flat?
If it's at least 20 then "Still I rise" - Maya Angelou.

Q: Okay so i play field hockey for myschool. im good at it and i like to play agressive...yaddyyadayada. But in Virginia right now its raining a lot so we stay inside. And when we stay inside it gets really hot like burning. so i get pretty sweaty. And im getting to the point where my armpits are soaking. i lifted up my armpits at the end of practice and everybody was like " wow are you running a lake under there" of course i laugh at that stuff but i wanna know how do you get rid of sweaty pits. thanks a lot!

One word: anti-perspirant.

Q: Does anybody cut themselves? Anyone used to cut? If so why?

help... how do i keep myself from not cutting..?

I used to, I had a terribe past, I was with a guy who beat me constantly, he sent me to the hospital 4 times in one month and I never did a thing, he did shit like take out a knife and cut me, he would slam me against walls, he'd beat me, throw things at me, one day he got so pissed out of nowhere and slammed me a few times against some cabinet with glass, the glass broke and a piece of it went into my neck, he moved but would come into town to stay with his sister, if I were to go out, he'd somehow know where I was and would show up bitching and swinging. But eventually, I found someone who made me want to stop, I didn't want to disappoint them, because having the one you love be disappointed in you when you could have prevented it is more painful then anything. Find something or someone that makes you really want to stop. Whether it's a friend or something else.

Q: My friend has been through a lot. She has family problems, and a past that haunts her. Shes shy at first, but she definitely warms up. She is always there to help you. My friend once said she always trys to help others, but when she is depressed she wont tell anyone, and i mean anyone whats wrong. How can she do this? I have told her my life. i tell her everything. I love her, because she is always there for me, and she is like my therapist. But i am concerned, because she told me she used to cut. I really want her to share with me, but she says she doesnt know how to. Advice?

You can't really get her to tell you if she doesn't want to. When you have a painful past, it's hard for alot of people to tak about it. Don't get mad at her for not telling you, no matter what don't take it as her not being able to trust you. If she wants to tell, she will in her own time. I used to have a similar problem, I couldn't open up to anyone when it came to how I was feeling, I had a terrible past, and I mean terrible, I used to date a guy who used to beat the hell out of me, it got to the point where i ended up in the hospital 4 times in one month. Yet, I never did anything about it. Opening up about something is extremely hard for some people. Just give her some time, like I said, if she's ready to tell you, she will, but only when she's ready. But in the meantime, don't bring it up too much, when she's upset ask, but only once, if she doesn't tell you, respect that, and just let her know that you're there for her, but don't just tell her that, show her. Be there for her, even if you don't know what's wrong.

Q: 15/f does nayone know how to loose weight? i'm already eating only 1000 calories a day, runing for 40 mins everyday, not eating fast food, all that kind of stuff, and there aren't any weight problems in my family, but i'm just so fat and i 'm trying really hard to loose weight (i've been doing the running and the not eating as much for 6 months now) and i've only lost 2 pounds, can anyone help?

Achieving a healthy weight is a simple balancing act - cut back on your food intake and increase your activity level. To lose weight, you need to take in fewer Calories than you use up. Calories are a measure of the amount of energy in food and the energy used up in activity. Cut back your energy intake by about 500 Calories each day. In terms of food, 500 Calories is roughly equal to two and half bowls of rice, four curry puffs (40 g each) or 80 g of roasted peanuts. As well as looking at the amount of food eaten, you need to pay attention to the types of foods eaten. Try to eat more breads and cereals, fruits and vegetables. These are generally low in fat, high in fiber and provide essential vitamins and minerals. Add lean meats, chicken without the skin or fish. Trim all visible fats from meats. If you're eating any chicken, don't eat the skin. And fill up on carbohydrates. Carbohydrates include rice, noodles, bread, fruits and vegetables. Whole grain cereal products are healthier choices because they provide more fiber, vitamins and minerals. And don't forget protein. Don't forget protein. Protein foods such as meat, fish, chicken, poultry, beans and bean products are essential for building, repairing and maintaining the body. You only need 1-2 servings of these each day. And exercise.

bio

My name is Cathy, as you can tell by my user name. I live in Florida and have been for the past 6 to 7 years. I'm in a very serious relationship with the boy of my dreams. I love him very much so, and nothing will ever change this, whether together or apart. I have a chihuahua by the name of Mung Mung. I'm half Korean and Half Scott-Irish. And that's about it for now =]