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My friend, and sharing
My friend has been through a lot. She has family problems, and a past that haunts her. Shes shy at first, but she definitely warms up. She is always there to help you. My friend once said she always trys to help others, but when she is depressed she wont tell anyone, and i mean anyone whats wrong. How can she do this? I have told her my life. i tell her everything. I love her, because she is always there for me, and she is like my therapist. But i am concerned, because she told me she used to cut. I really want her to share with me, but she says she doesnt know how to. Advice?
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No, it's not alright for you to be mad at her. She's in a tough position & you getting mad at her isn't going to make anything better. I know how your friend feels. When you get depressed, and you've got no one to talk to, it makes everything distant. You feel like no one will understand, no one will get you, and no one will help. The more you keep it in, and the more you've got no one to talk to, and the more you're alone, the harder it is to share with people.
The most you can do for your friend right now, is to say that you're there for her when she needs you, you're always there to talk, and that you love her. Tell her you'll be on the other line of the phone, or the computer no matter what time it is, and if she needs a place to stay for a bit, your door is always open.
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defently dont be mad at her shes in a tough spot
dont ask her whats rong (even though you want to help)
just comfert her, take her shoping etc make her have a good time
do that till she comes to you for help.
tell her "im here for you if you want to talk"
and then dont talk about it, just let her know you are there for her and be a good frind, have sleepovers etc.
if you are REALLY worried that shes hurting her self and its something serious (more than just the blues) you need to tell her parents that she needs help and shes hurting herself.
she may be mad at first for telling
but freinds are there for eachother and you letting her be depressed and hurt herself isnt being a good freind.
for right now just pretend how it was before all this, go get your nails done together do anyhting fun and talk about boys......
i know it doesnt sound like much but shell come to you, if not you need to talk to her parents that shes needs help!
--ashley
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You can't really get her to tell you if she doesn't want to. When you have a painful past, it's hard for alot of people to tak about it. Don't get mad at her for not telling you, no matter what don't take it as her not being able to trust you. If she wants to tell, she will in her own time. I used to have a similar problem, I couldn't open up to anyone when it came to how I was feeling, I had a terrible past, and I mean terrible, I used to date a guy who used to beat the hell out of me, it got to the point where i ended up in the hospital 4 times in one month. Yet, I never did anything about it. Opening up about something is extremely hard for some people. Just give her some time, like I said, if she's ready to tell you, she will, but only when she's ready. But in the meantime, don't bring it up too much, when she's upset ask, but only once, if she doesn't tell you, respect that, and just let her know that you're there for her, but don't just tell her that, show her. Be there for her, even if you don't know what's wrong.
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