Member Since: November 10, 2006
Answers: 28
Last Update: November 20, 2006
Visitors: 3697
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Im dating a guy who is cousins with one of my closer friends they talk about me and i know they do, because she feels that we shouldnt date anymore we've been together for almost 2 years (few more months to come) but my bf feels that i've stolen him away from her like i hog him to much & she feels the same way. I dont want them to think that. Im not heartless i think family is important so why'd i want that for them right? i want them to know that i do believe its important that they still do see eachother, I want to write her a letter explaining that i do think its important they hang out, spend time together, u no? So could you help me get started with a letter or tell me some things to put in the letter? (link)
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You could write a letter, but be forewarned: sometimes things come across differently in writing than you intended. When she reads your letter, she won't see your body language or hear your tone. It's easier for her to misinterpret something you write and you won't be there to explain that isn't what you meant. Why not just get together with her and ask why she feels that you are 'stealing' her cousin? Tell her that you value her friendship and that you would like things to get better between the two of you. Tell her that you realize family ties are important. She should be able to give you examples of what it is that makes her feel like you are stealing her cousin. Then you can evaluate whether or not those are things you want to change. I'd advocate talking to your boyfriend as well. Ask him why he feels the way he does. What would he like to see changed? Then you can decide if you think those concerns are valid. If you do write a letter, include these same ideas (that you value her friendship, that things seem to have gone wrong, and you'd like the opportunity to work with her to fix them). Remember, at the end of the day, only you can decide whether or not you want to change the things she doesn't like. But it is certainly worth talking to her about.
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Okay so I have blonde hair, medium length with sideswept bangs. It's kinda a dark dirty blonde color. I want to do something totally different with my hair, like some crazy color highlights or streaks or something. I just don't know what color would look good or anything. So anyone that knows what they are talking about have any ideas about anything. Thanks! (link)
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Talk to your stylist. She should have some great ideas about what would work with your coloring. Explain to her what you're looking for (something very different, easy to maintain, etc) If you don't have a stylist, get one. Take it from someone who knows - don't try to do something dramatic to your hair at home. It's bound to become a mess :)
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So i've gone on two dates with this guy. He likes me, I like him we both know and we scheduled two dates this past week both of which had to be canceled because he's in college and apparently had some tests/projects that he has to get done. The only thing that pisses me off right now, is that wednesday the day of the date, he doesn't call me to tell me that we're not having the date, I get online and he's online and he IM's me telling me he's sorry and that he doesn't have time to go on a date today, and on friday which was our other thing and that he was really sorry and blah blah blah. I'm kind of angry, but i'll live with it so i'm just like talking and we're having a nice conversation. Thursday comes around and he tells me that we can hang out on Friday because he'll finish what he needs to do on thursday so he can hang out with me on friday... my hopes are all up and i'm excited... night time comes around and he IMs me telling me that he wasn't able to get everything done and that we can't hang out tomorrow cause he'll be busy... UGHHH pisses me off... I don't know whether or not I should keep him because it's like he always seems to be bringing my hopes up and then killing them instantly... (link)
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He treats you this way because you allow him to. He makes plans with you, then cancels at the last minute, and you don't hold him accountable. That's the same as telling him that his behavior is acceptable. The next time it happens, tell him nicely but firmly that you like him, but you aren't willing to continue to date him if he can't keep his dates with you. If his behavior doesn't change, dump him. You deserve better.
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Do guys dig chicks with glasses? I need to get glasses I think, and I'm already short, fat, and kind of ugly. Now I need glasses. Now will the boys think I am uglier than before? (link)
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Who cares what the boys think?? How about what you think? What will make you unattractive is not the glasses; its your low opinion of yourself. Stop telling yourself you are 'short, fat, and kind of ugly'. If you see yourself that way, others will too. Focus on all the wonderful things about yourself - your sense of humor, your intellegence, your great smile. There's nothing wrong with short - you'll never have to worry about being taller than the boy you're going out with. There's nothing wrong with no being model skinny - curves on a woman are very sexy. There's nothing wrong with glasses - many women buy non prescription glasses to wear because glasses can be hot (think 'sexy librarian' costumes for Halloween). And there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being conventionally beautiful. Self confidence can make men beleive you are.
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I have liked this guy for a long time and sometimes he likes me but he has a girlfriend and he is in love with her! He knows I like him but he just messes with me and I really want to get over him but I can't because I'm in so deep. The worst part is that he won't tell me that he doesn't like me...no, the worst part is that everybody is trying to get him expelled...like my friends are...the reason for that involves sexual harassment...he has been expelled for things like that and he did a few things here...nothing too big but so many people want him gone...I really don't because I know that deep down he is really a good guy...please help me...I don't know how to get over him...I want to march up to him and tell him that he has to TELL me I'm only a friend to him...it just really hurts. I'm sick of games being played with my heart...Sorry it's so long...XOXO (link)
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You're giving this guy way too much control over you. Why does he get to decide whether or not there is a relationship while you just have to wait around until he makes up his mind? Why would you want a relationship with someone who treats you this way? Don't you deserve better? Don't you deserve someone who doesn't already have a girlfriend, who treats you with kindness and respect, who doesn't sexually harrass people? Once you decide you're worth more than that, getting over this guy will be much easier and you can focus on finding someone who treats you well. (By the way, if he strings you along even though he already has a girlfriend, he'd do the same with other women if you were his girlfriend. You deserve better.)
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HI
Im 13 years old and have never had a bf. All my friends have and they have all had their first kiss i still havent . Im worried ill never get a boyfriend when i talked 2 my mate she said to try flirting more but i dont know how
please help
xx (link)
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Don't worry about it. 13 is still a little young to be worried about never having a boyfriend :) It will happen when the time is right. No sense rushing things; then you just end up with a crappy boyfriend.
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About 5 months ago I got into a fight with my long distance bf. I tried to reconcile but gave up after two days of him not returning my calls. He can be very stubborn. In the past when we've fought I've always been the one to mend fences but this time I figured he needs to make the first move. Well the other night I was at work and his best friend came into the store. It's a HUGE store. It's a grocery store but it sells everything else too. I know he and his friend are very close. His best friend was actually looking for me- and when he found me he was being very friendly and asked about the job. My gut tells me my ex put him up to this. Also- I now what you're thinking that maybe his friend is interested in me. Well that's not the case because he was there with his gf. So back to my original question- do you think my ex wants me back? (link)
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If your ex really wanted you back, he would have come into the store to see you himself. Seriously, even assuming that he sent his friend, why would you want a guy that isn't man enough to talk to you himself but has to send a 'friend'? I think the correct question is, do you want your ex back? Maybe you do, but give some thought as to why it has taken this guy over 5 months to get in touch with you (assuming that's why his friend came to see you in the first place). Don't you deserve better than that?
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I just started dating this guy a few days ago and hes already saying "I love you". We havent even been on a date yet! I told him not to say it unless he means it and he said that he does. I feel a little uncomfortable, what should i say to him to show him that its too soon? (link)
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Tell him the truth. That you appreciate how he feels, but that him telling you so soon makes you uncomfortable. If he continues to say it to you anyway, then you know he doesn't respect your feelings and its time to let him go.
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my crush found out i liked him today. (nobody likes him really...i like his personality) he says "he want's to stay single" What does this mean? does this mean he is telling me no....or that maybe later on??? (link)
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Don't wait around for this guy. We women spend way to much time trying to analyze what men 'really meant' when they said what they said. Well, usually, men mean what they say. This guy want's to stay single. That means he isn't interested. And your time is too important to waste on someone who isn't interested, right?
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13/f 8th grade
all the guy at my school go for looks in a girl....that's it! that is sooo wrong! as they get older will they change and start realizing that looks don't matter....or will they always be like that? (link)
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Some will change and some won't. Regardless of how attractive you are, you want the ones that change. There is something incredibly shallow about a man who dates on looks alone. Besides, looks fade. Wouldn't you rather be with someone who loves your sense of humor, intelligence, and spark - not just your face?
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ok this question might seem a bit weird. when i do my hair in the morning, i usually straighten it & wear it down. basically, by like 11 i have to put it up. it annoys me so much. i just can't write and have it down because my hair is thick and i have a lot of it. i put it up in one of those cute little messy buns but i dont know. for some reason i think its prettier to wear it down & if i wear it up i feel boyish. im basically just wondering what your opinion is. should girls just wear their hair down all the time?? or is it pretty to wear it up too??
thanks!! (link)
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I think women who wear their hair up are stunning. It really brings attention to the eyes and bone structure. I don't think there is anything boyish about it at all - it's very feminine.
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i want some ripped lookin jeans but 50 dollars boy isn`t that expensive.
actually i can`t aford clothes so expensive at the moment..
maybe 20 at the most for jeans so do you know any sites i can look at thanks.
keep in mind not expensive.. (link)
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Try E-Bay. I get great clothes online cheap!
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after shaving the pubic hair on your vagina is there anyway to get rid of the black dots that are left behind? or what about the red bumps that sometime show up? (link)
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The black dots are probably where the hair is starting to push through the skin. With pubic hair especially (which is thinker and more coarse than leg hair), it is difficult to get a clean shave. If it bothers you, I suggest waxing. Waxing is normally very affordable to have done by a professional (you shouldn't wax your own pubic area - it can become a huge mess if not done correctly).
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Hey, I'm 13, on my mom's accont, I don't think this matter though?
-Anyways. I was thinking about going on an all protein diet. All I eat is meat.
Breakfast- Bacon [ the kind I buy is like 50 calories for 3 peices ]
Lunch - A few slices of Ham.
Dinner:
Monday- small hen.
Tuesday- baked chicken
Wednesday- steak
Thurday- baked fish.
Friday- ribs.
I'm 5'1...150 ilbs.
If I exercise for 30 minuetes everyday, Will I have a flat tummy by January?
Thanks! (link)
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Maybe, but you won't be healthy. If you're willing to exercise, why not do a low fat diet, with plenty of vegetables and healthy starches, like brown rice and whole wheat pasta? Just eat healthy, keep an eye on the calories, and watch the pounds melt away. Not only will you look better, but you'll feel better to!
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Hey well I'm 14/f and in drama class, we have to pick a character that we want to be and have to act it out. It can be any character from young pregnant teens to psycho-mental people, and even to little, annoying girls! It can be anything, so can you guys PLEASE give me ideas??? Thanks :) (link)
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Can it be someone from history? Marie Antoinette makes a compelling heroine (from prison, not the Palace). Another idea is a young girl suffering from anorexia (a huge problem right now). Or better yet, pick a topic that you are passionate about (the war in Iraq, the genocide in Darfur, free trade, globilazation, teen pregnancy, poverty, child abuse) and talk about it in the first person as though you yourself are experiencing it.
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sometimes when im with friends, and some other people i dont know, i get shy and dont really talk. what's something i could do so i could spark up my shyness and be more talkative? (link)
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Ask people questions about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. Really. The only catch is, you actually have to listen to the answer - you can't just pretend to listen. Otherwise you come off as insincere (which is worse than saying nothing at all). Complimenting people is also a great conversation starter. Again, it has to be sincere, but you can almost always find something you like about them. "I love those shoes/ jacket/ hairstyle. Where did you get them/ it?"
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My boyfriend is getting the magazine Maxim or whatever. I've seen it but it always has pretty ladies on it. I dont want him looking at like a magazine that contains stuff that no girlfriend would want a boyfriend to look at such as naked people and what not. Cuz that just makes me self consious & fight to be even more prettier so i dont feel so ugly & compared to those girls.
Please just give me details on whats in that magazine, it'd be must helpful!! (link)
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Men are visual and they like to look at women, especially attractive unattainable women. There isn't full nudity in Maxim really - it isn't Playboy at any rate. Your response to him reading this magazine says a lot about your own self esteem. You think other men are attractive, right? But that doesn't mean you think your boyfriend is unattractive, does it? So why does him finding other women attractive have anything to do with how attractive he thinks you are? It has more to do with how attractive you think you are (or aren't). If he's reading these magazines non stop, I think there might be a problem. But if he reads them once or twice a month, I wouldn't sweat it. Try finding a men's magazine without pictures of attractive women in them!
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Not sure if what I am experiencing is mental or spiritual.
OK, I am not depressed. I have been treated for that in the past. So I know what depression is like, this is not it. I have a decent job, a great family and no real problems. I am an easygoing person who loves everyone.
Here's my story:
My family and I were waiting at a stoplight when suddenly out of no where I got this powerful urge to cry. I tried to fight it, I had nothing to cry about. As we sat there at the light waiting, an ambulance appeared in the distance. It was in front of us, heading our direction fast. The closer the ambulance got the stronger the uge to cry became. By the time the ambulance had reached us, I could not fight it anymore. I was quietly crying when my boyfriend noticed and became concerned. He asked me what was wrong and all I could say was "I don't know." It wasn't just the urge to cry. I had an overwelming feeling of deep sadness as the ambulance passed. I didn't feel like myself. I felt lost and extremely confused.
I think I may have even blacked out for a few seconds. Everything went blurry and my body felt limp.
Our light turned green after the ambulance passed.
As the distance between us and the ambulance grew the feeling faded. Before 10 minutes had passed I no longer had the urge to cry. I was able to sit up in my chair and see clearly. The emotional heavyness that hit me so fast, was gone just as fast. Afterwords I felt drained, exhausted and emotionally raped.
This does not happen every time an ambulance gets near me. Just sometimes. Never had one quite so strong before. When I am next to someone at the store or workplace, no where in particular. I feel as if I know how they are feeling. The stronger the emotion the more sure I am of the feeling. Sometimes, I think I can tell what an animal is feeling. Not what they are thinking, but how they are feeling emotionally.
Could this be real?
I cannot run everytime an ambulance passes me. Although the thought has crossed my mind. I hate the feeling of being emotionally raped.
Is this a question for the mental health section?
Thanks for letting me ramble. I am open to any advice you have.
Thanks,
Tammy-AKA hnstymtrs
(link)
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This sounds like a form of depression to me. I know that you've been treated for depression in the past, and that you don't think this feels the same, but depression has so many different symptoms that it can be tough to self diagnose. The best thing to do is talk to your doctor and see what she has to say.
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I'm in a bit of an awkward possition. My girlfriend and I have recently been doing some exploration with our bodies and have stopped using condoms all together. A few days ago I found out that she wants to have children and that she doesnt want to wait till we're out of high school. I've also heard rumors from my friends that she's planning something. I want to know if, well, its alright to have children at a young age. (link)
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Good God, no!! Always use a condom. Trust me, the last thing you want as a young person is a child. Many parents who are older, with their own homes and steady employment, have a hard time with their first child. Don't do this to yourself. And don't leave the responsibility for protection with someone else. As a young man, you have to be responsible for yourself. Insist upon using a condom every time you have intercourse, no matter what.
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we've been trying to have children for roughly 4 months now and still no luck. Is there a certain time that its easier to get a woman pregnant? If so, how can me or my wife monitor or find out when this time is? (link)
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You can buy an ovulation kit at the gorcery or drug store (usually in the feminine hygeine aisle with the pregnancy tests.) This will allow your wife to determine when she is most fertile. In addition, she could speak with her OB-GYN, who could probably help in this area.
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