In my lifetime, I've been a lot of places, and seen a lot of people.
I'm never going to claim I know the correct answer, but I will tell you what I think is the right thing. And no matter what, I will respect that you asked for help, and want it. No unneccesarily cruel answers. No talking down to you. Just honesty and kindness.
Peace be with you all.
Gender: Male
Location: The World
Occupation: Writer
Age: 25
Member Since: May 9, 2008
Answers: 31
Last Update: March 29, 2009
Visitors: 3157
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pseudophun
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So I never dated this guy. We had hung out a few times but talked a ton before i meet my now ex boyfriend. Well we quit talking while I was seeing this new guy. (new guys rules) yeah stupid. Anyways we hung out after he and I broke up. Ended up having sex. like 3 times. Well i kind of stayed distant from him because I used to like him and feelings started to come back. Well I went over there one day to just talk because he asked me to and he started tickling me and pulling me on him so i told him i had to leave.. while i was walking out to my car he stopped me and gave me hug well he put his hand on my cheeck and kissed me and it got passionate.. well i dont mention to him i still like him well i went to his house today because we went to the adult store together long story. any ways we were watching jeff dunham and ended up having sex. what is this.. he knows i dont want friend with benefits but were like attracted to each other. when were togethers its just amazing. and we can talk about everything. (link)
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It doesn't sound like friends with benefits. I hate to say, but you like him, he seems to like you, you enjoy hanging out, have great sex... you may actually be in love, the both of you.
Of course, I don't know all details, but still, that's how I see it.
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SO,in my class im the ont who makes people laugh,who people look at when theyre sad,right.
(class clown sort of).And i love that making people laugh and so on, but sometime were doing a project and they will ask a question.like in general and i would answer it.I would be correct.But they would be like 'no your not right.' But in sure if it was any one else answered it they would have said it was right.
And on top of that , when they ask the teacher and she says in right they will be like 'oh for once she is right' no matter how many times im right.
THey are not bad people, but this leads me to believe that they so not take ne seriously.I do not just want to be the funny stupid girl.I want people to know i kinda have a brain.Need ur advice
xoxo....ME (link)
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Ah, the ol' "everyone thinks I'm just a clown, not serious" dilemma.
Well, honestly, the best advice I can give is this. Mix it up. Alternate between serious and humor.
Best advice to do that is simple. Get. The Best. Grades.
You can be funny all you want, but being funny, and with top marks, will make it clear you're no clown.
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15/f
lately ive been depressed. nothings seems to going right. me and my stepmom havent been getting along. its like i try to be nice and she's just a bitch back to me and i dont get why and we've been struggling to get along for the past 12 years on and off. and my dad doesnt do anything about it. every time i come back from my moms my stepmom's a bitch. my dad just found out that i cut myself and he freaked out and i start to wonder if its all worth living through everyday. i tried suicide three times before and im trying to get the idea out of my mind but it keeps coming back.
pleez help
thanks (link)
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Depression and cutting can be problems. All I can do is offer this advice.
1) Stop cutting yourself. You have to do something to stop hurting yourself, this includes suicide. If necessary, see a counselor, or talk to people. Try to get past this desire to harm yourself.
2) Your dad is caught in an awkward position, because it's an issue between his daughter and his current wife. If he takes your side, your stepmom may see it as him not truly accepting her as his wife. If he takes her side, you'd probably think you were being pushed aside for the new person in his life. I think he's trying to find a balancing point where he won't look like he's taking sides at all.
3) When you feel depressed, read a book. And I'm not talking about a depressing book. Go get a fantasy, or an adventure. Hell, pick up anything that can help you escape. When you're done, get a pen and paper, and write a story of your own. Believe it or not, writing stories where you're the hero/heroine can help you feel a lot better.
Also, if you need to, meditate. Just find a quiet spot, and let yourself relax.
If you need anything further, I'm a question away.
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F .
i went out with this guy for 2 years, and throughout the whole relationship he was really abusive. he would hurt me physically and mentally so one day i was caught skipping school with him and i knew i would never be allowed to see him again, so i decided to end it. So i went out with this other guy named Patrick but at the same time im not sure who i really want . i love them both but its just confusing cause anthony was such a big deal in my life. I am really confused about what to do. Please help! (link)
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Hon, I really think you already know what you should do.
You've stated it. 2 years of abuse. 2 years of physical and emotional pain. And ending it was a good decision on your part.
Yes, he was a big deal in your life. Some of us still have problems and issues with early love because they were a big part of our lives.
But I don't think that he was a good part of your life. You shouldn't have to deal with someone who would treat you less than you should have been treated.
I say, you put Anthony to your past. Remember the good times, but don't forget how you were mistreated. While you haven't said how Patrick treats you, the fact that he doesn't abuse you at all shows that you've really stepped up.
Go forth and be happy, and let not the problems of the past hold you down.
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so my ex and i were together for a year and half. and we broke up like 2 months ago. i am soo ready to just move on, but it seems like there's no one there that likes me, or wants to be with me. What should i do? i really want to just move on and forget about my ex. but i just need somebody to move onto.
thanks to anyone that helps.
(link)
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I thought the same after my first relationship went to hell. And it ended up being a big mistake.
The thing is, when we seperate from someone who has been part of our lives for a long time, we sometimes feel desperate to fill the space that they left. But if you look for someone just to fill the void, it isn't as honest.
Honestly, I'd wait until you are over your ex, and you want someone just for them, not just to move away from him/her.
Hope this helps.
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How do you get a guy to ask you out? (link)
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Well, the negative answer to you would be to dress in a more revealing way.
But the fact is, you can't get a guy to ask you out. He just will when he is ready.
Alternatively, you could just ask him out instead.
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my friend is 16 and pregnant and shes my best friend, and shes thinking about abortion but like its her fault and the fathers, that she got pregnant what can i say to her to make her listen to other options like ive tried to bring it up but she keeps saying she wouldnt feel guilty and all this stuff
what should i do or say? (link)
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Unfortunately, I'm afraid that this is one of those situations where you can't really help.
You can suggest adoption, but that's as far as I would take it. You have to remember, this is one of those situations where it's someone else's body, and thus, it's more their choice than yours.
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There is Bob and Joe and me.
Bob is naturally curious about other people's business and he's been on Joe and my case since last year. Since last year, Joe and I have been close friends and he really liked me. I thought I liked him in that way, too, and went to a dance with him and gave him mixed signals. But now I really like him as a friend and nothing more. He asked me to homecoming and I declined saying that I didn't want to go to homecoming because it was crappy (which is completely true) but also because (this part I didn't say to him) I don't want to go to homecoming with him even as friends because he'll still get the wrong idea (even if I told him we'll go as friends)
Well in class, Bob was asking Joe how it went yesterday about asking me to homecoming. The room was pretty quiet and although they were on the other side of the room, I could hear parts of the conversation--enough to know that they were talking about me. So Joe was telling Bob about yesterday and asking me to go with him.
Now I feel like I don't want ANYTHING to do with JOe because he'll just go around and nonchalantly tell people about everything that goes down between "us"
Am I being overly dramatic or what? What should I do? (link)
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Well, as you said, you gave him mixed signals.
A lot of guys, when they're confused, like to ask for answers, or at least fish for opinions.
So, it makes sense that if he really likes you, and you said no to homecoming, he'd at least talk to someone because he probably wants to know if he's coming on too strong or something like that.
However, since I don't know what was said about you, I'm only going on what was said.
Point is, I don't think he did anything wrong by talking about you rejecting him. If he started calling you horrible things just for that, then he's a jerk. But again, I don't know what was said.
Good luck and God bless.
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okay, i had this ex named bradin about a yr ago and we both liked each other but i dumped him for another guy that i went out with. now im startin to like bradin again because we've been talking again. he says he likes me too but has a girlfriend or "has a girl in mind".. he always flirts with me, saying he wishes it was me and everything just doing normal flirting stuff but wont break up with her because he says hes been waiting for her for a long time. whenever i ask him if i have a chance or whatever he says maybe and then when i ask him if theres any point to liking him he says yes but he doesnt know what. i know he has been waiting for this girl but she says that they arent going out but they both like each other. i really want to go out with him but i dont know what i should do or say to him or act around him or even if i should stop liking him. i dont want to stop liking him. he really does act like he likes me and everything but doesnt want to cheat on his "girlfriend"
what should i do! (link)
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Seriously, I think you're getting into something you're going to regret.
Just get out now, and don't look back, because this is one of those topics where a smarmy maybe shouldn't be used if you're serious.
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who originally sang A whole new world??
who is the REAL girl who went into the studio and sang this song originally for her?
which female voice was used in singing this song in ALADDIN?
is it lea salonga? it sounds like her in the song but supposedly some other girl sang it?? (link)
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I think it might be said girl, but you're going to have to check something like wikipedia to be sure.
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I really like this guy that i just met (right before school ended) and well i've liked him for about a month and the next time i'll see him is probably in august or september. And I like him sooo much i think i'll go crazy if i don't see him now. can someone help me?!
15/f (link)
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I was in a similar situation. Thank God for email.
Basically, just keep in contact with the guy. A tiny spark has started, and it's up to you to keep the fire going.
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17/F.
Okay, so I dated my ex for like 7 months, I broke up with him almost a month ago because I didn't feel like I was myself and he thought he was the first thing to go which he wasn't.. and after of us hating/ignoring/pissing eachother off for 2-3 weeks, we started talking again as friends and a lot of the things I thought he did... he didn't. And so now we've been sort of hanging out a little bit and when we do.. all we do is like make out and basically all over eachother. He thought I lost feelings for him, I really didn't, I just had a wall up and I was already stressed out about everything else so I felt like I needed time to myself, which helped a lot. Well we both feel like the break up brought us closer because we were always teasing eachother about sneaking over to eachother's houses... well last night he really did.
So when we were in my room, we were making out on my bed and everything and it was very sweet, cute, amazing, etc. Well he was over for about 3 hours and all we did was kiss and everything, we were going to do the usual thing we used to do which was fingering and eating me out (that was embarrassing to say and sort of weird... haha.) but I stopped him because obviously I was on my period and thats just sick if you mess around with someone while your on your period... so we just made out and massaged eachother and shit. WELL he just left for Las Vegas for 2 weeks (which is good because I need time to think about things) and so anyways, the real story...
When we were just laying there... we started talking about him going out on dates with my friend Candice... well I thought they were just going out as friends (just to the movies, not dating). Well when he told me that they were real dates I felt like shit and like a whore and I started crying because she is/was (i don't know anymore) my friend and I could never do that and he was saying that he was still in love with me and I love him more than I ever have... well he doesn't really like her but why do I still feel like a whore? I mean she's my friend... and I told him I still wanted to go out on dates with her... and he asked me what if I knew about them before he came over last night and everything(again, their not dating) and I told him I would have never let him over last night...
WHY AM I SO CONFUSED? I mean I know why, but I feel like a whore but I still want him over at my house in my room, just me and him... a;ljf;lkas;lfkaj I feel so bad because she's such a great person and she's like him since NEW YEARS and I just found out last night... =/
But anyways, I know he doesn't have a title and I shouldn't feel like a whore, but I still do and I still have feelings for him (I'm pretty positive haha.)
Anyways, all of this was just getting some weight off my chest... if you give me advice, that would be fantastic.
Thanks in Advance!
-Ginger. (link)
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You are not a whore.
Honestly, if he was in anyway worth anything, he either would not be making out with you behind the other girl's back, or would have broken it off with her before coming back to you.
Seriously, talk to your friend, deal with the problem, and never let him take advantage of your feelings again.
Again, you are not a whore. You're an innocent that is being hurt by someone who is scum. *hugs* Be strong, and push on.
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i was in love w/ this guy, Michael, and then i thought that he didn't like me so i dumped him and then he said that he wanted to get back together, but he wanted to hang out first, so i was hanging out w/ him a lot and i was getting more heart broken, and then he had his ex-gf call me and go off on me that i wouldn't leave him alone and i know that he knew that she did it, b/c it was his name and number on the caller id and then i called him pathetic and he was going off on me and calling me a LOT of stuff that i don't want to remember and then he was threatening to jump my new bf and me and then i was just messaging him on myspace, and he was calling me the Leader of All Hoes and a lot of other things, i want him out of my life, but how? (link)
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Wow, that's what I call a situation that spiralled out of control.
If you have just cause to think he would follow through on his threat on you and your boyfriend, I recommend looking into something like a restraining order.
And whether or not he is that kind of guy and you do or don't get a restraining order on him, the best thing to do is ignore him.
I mean, if he's such a coward that he has to play such a disgusting trick like having his girl call you on HIS phone so that you can get taken unaware and made to feel horrible, then honestly, he is beneath you, and doesn't deserve even to be spat on.
Good luck, and God bless.
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13/f
theres this friend that i have. she is like a sister to me, but lately shes been acting very...messed up. for example ill tell her that im going to coney island whatever and she'll start talking about how shes got a boy friend, got new nikes, going to six flags, etc. so im like okay...cool? nd then shes like y did you tell me that? and then im like,...cuz i wanna. nd then she'll be like, well i dont care. nd then ill say whats up with you and she'll be like you shoved something in my face so im shoving sonething bak. i didnt really mean for it 4 seem like that, but yea. ill tell her that and shes like true. then she'll be like you never invite me anywhere. and of course i do, i just dont go places much, so i tell her that. shell be like ok, true, im happy 4 ya. so yes, ill be very pissed by then. i dont know, she has done so many hurtful things to her, and me? like one or two mistakes. but her "gurtful things" arent mistakes, its the way she actually is. so im very confused and mad and hurt, its just a mixture of feelings. i know i luv her very much(as a friend) but i just dont feel like her friend anymore. i dont know what im asking, but i hope you'll be able to know. i guess im asking what i should do. so yea, any advice would be highly appreciated. thankx! (link)
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I hate to say this, but I think your friend is drifting away from you. And probably by her own choice.
One idea you can try is ask just what is going on. Seriously, ask what is causing this wedge between you. Don't be pushy about it. Just ask.
And I hate to add this, but be ready for things not working out as happily. But if it doesn't, then maybe she wasn't as good a friend as you are to her.
Good luck.
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i have really small boobs, im already 16 and all of my friends + girls younger than me have bigger boobs than me..
i'm only a 32B
:/ and that's bad.. for being 16
i wear push up bras, but they dont seem to help very much.
can you please give me some suggestions on bras, and advice to make them grow bigger.. im afraid they won't grow anymore & i'm really self conscious.. (link)
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To quote Penn and Teller about appearances, sometimes good T&A comes from similar DNA.
I know some girls who are your size at 25. There's nothing wrong with breasts that size. In fact, some men prefer them.
The only way I know of (I'm a guy) to make them grow bigger is to gain weight, and I do not recommend that route. Just enjoy what you got.
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My husband is 29, his sister is my age 21. They have, in my opinion, the most inappropriate relationship ever. She'll come and just sit in his lap and cuddle up with him. Or if shes sitting on the couch he will sorta attack her in a huge bear hug and end up on top of her. Once he was eating dessert and she came and sat on his lap and he started to feed her from his dessert. He didn't even think to offer me until after she had already eaten from his spoon. I don't know what all of you think, but I find this utterly disgusting...its weird, gross, and just plain wrong!
I talked to him about it, and he felt that I was being ridiculous and said that I have intimacy issues because in my family we are not all over each other. yaa we give hugs and stuff..but wrestling with each other on the couch and sitting on laps, and feeding each other...thats just weird. He was like, she is my sister! I told him, "EXACTLY! she's your sister...thats why I have such a problem with this". I even told him that I dont want her sitting on his lap any more..shes not a small child and its not cute when she comes and sits on his lap. He had the nerve to tell me he'll think about it...not okay I understand this is bothering you and I'll stop... he's just going to think about it. How wonderful..
I know no one can really do anything about this, but I guess I just need to see what others think about this. Is it just me or is it weird for siblings to treat each other the same way they would treat their significant others; minus the kissing on the lips and sex?
All answers are welcome and much appreciated. :) (link)
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Wow... that is.... that is just abnormal.
I mean, I've known some people to just plain BE closer to their siblings than their significant others, but that is just a lot to be worried about.
There may be a severe dependency issue on her part. An eight year difference is a lot, but there may be something that you haven't been told that explains why she's just so attached.
Ask again, but don't be confrontational about it. Say that you're worried, and just want to understand.
I also recommend doing research on what you may think this is, just to tell if you can see signs beyond just a really odd attachment.
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f/13.
i'm in love withe my best friend.
and she's in love with me.
but the thing is, i'm moving soon.
and she has a boyfriend.
her boyfriend is cool with it, because he and i are great friends.
he wants to see me and her make out.
and we're going to.
but what should i do.
i don't wanna let her go.
but i have to.
i'll still talk to her.
but i really don't know.
what should i do.
please help.
(link)
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Umm.... okay..... Let me just absorb this a bit before I answer.
I think that the hard part is over. Your friend knows you love her. She loves you too. Keep in touch and just see what happens.
I however must stress caution with the boyfriend angle. Honestly, I don't see how a guy like that can be cool with his girlfriend being in love with a girl. While all guys want a threesome with two girls, they want to be the focus of love.
Seriously, be careful in that regard. I sense a set-up. Take care.
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I have dated one guys for 5 years now an he has cheated on me 17 times. I moved out from his house an now i live with someone i really get along with. Everytime i try to break up with the other guy he begs me not to do it that he will change. Please i need so advice on how to tell him i dnt want him no more (link)
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5 years. 17 times.
Look him dead in the eye and ask why the hell you should stay with someone who doesn't respect you, himself, and has had more than enough chances.
And make it abundantly clear that you can do much better than him.
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your a guy right? well ha duh your a guy...but okay
well i have a few questions.
1) i heard that guys like when girls will try to take them from their current girlfriends..true or false?
2)what kind of attitude do boys like? What do you guys look for in a girl? because most of the time they go for the short skirts and stick size girls...
3)how do you turn a guy on without giving him the idea that you want to go any further than kissing??
19/f if it helps??! i know i should have more experience but i was on a really REALLY tight chain when i was young... (link)
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Yes, I'm a guy. Now, onto the questions:
1) Unless a guy is a complete and utter horrible person who just loves himself, no guy wants another girl to try and take him from their current girlfriend. Even if we as a gender are turned on by females beyond the ones we date, no decent guy wants the drama, stress, and more-than-likely heartache that a girl trying to take them from their current girlfriend.
2) I can't speak for other guys. I can only speak for myself. And honestly, I look them in the eyes. If a girl truly is someone I could connect with, I'll see it in her eyes. Her honesty, her humor, her insecurities, her confidences. I've fallen for different kinds of women, some shy and reserved, and some outgoing and fun-loving. Fashion and size means little to me, although I like a woman in proper proportion. Meaning, if she looks natural to be big, or small, it works for me.
3) Sadly, not a lot of guys are like me, who would be cool with that. But a hand through the hair or lightly tracing the fingers along the neck works often.
And don't worry about age and experience. People should only do things when they are ready. I got my first kiss at your age, because I waited for the right one.
I hope this helps you out.
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16/f
is it weird that i like like 20394823 guys? and i dont mean just a little crush. i have like a thing for a bunch of guys. and im not a whore. i dont like hook up with all of them or anything.. even though a lot of them like me back. i dont want to lead any of them on or anything. i just want to know what i should do. i think its because i see them all in different situations/environments. like they go to like 4 of 5 different schools. some are from my youth group. i dont know.. its like i like them when i hang out with them. but then i change my mind. theres like one guy that i ALWAYS like when i hang out with him though. i actually did hook up with this one but i decided that he was a bad choice because he liked me but he like is physically incapable of having a relationship.
what should i do? is it okay that i like so many guys? im only sixteen.. (link)
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You're human. At the basic nature, we are always going to like so many people. It's basic attraction. Acting on every single one of them would be a problem.
Just accept that you surround yourself with likeable people, and one day, you'll find the one you like more than any of them.
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