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Some background information:
I've known my best friend for 8 or so years and we were perfect friends until 2 or so years ago, when she first started talking to this dude on tiktok.
Don't get me wrong, I encourage her to have her own feelings and I love that she wanted to get out and talk to guys. But she started acting... Weird after.
We were the type to talk bad about people for a quick laugh, but didn't actually mean it. We'd never say it to their faces or spread rumors. So it wouldn't have been unusual for us to talk bad about the guy she's talking to... Except she thought it was. She'd get defensive about it. I understand wanting to protect him, but seriously. It's all jokes, she knows it.
Well fast forward a few months later, she's talking to more guys and won't let me talk bad about any of them. Oh well, so sad. Doesn't matter to me.
Then she gets in a relationship. I hated the guy for some time because he just seems conceited and I don't like his energy. He kept leaving her on opened or delivered for hours on end, even when he would be active on Snapchat after she sent it. I told her that was a big douche move of him, but as always she defended him. Oh well, not my problem.
Another fast forward, they're getting down to their last months together. I made the plan to jokingly message him, with her permission, on a fake account to catfish him and try to see if he'd cheat.
Guess what? He said he was single. I had just confirmed all my bad feelings towards him.
Bad news, she didn't break up with him until like 2-3 months after.
Then blah blah blah she was upset blah blah she dated this really creepy guy from our Town who I despised (and still do) and dated him for a while, not the main point
Then she broke up with him and got back with toxic cheating ex. She won't let me bring up that he cheated, claims he "changed". I think he's only in it because she buys him stuff. He hardly talks to her some days so :/
But, again, not the main point. Throwback to like middle of her dating creepy guy, she told me I was the only reason she was here.
It really put a weight on my shoulders that I didn't want, having recently gone through losing two pets that were close to me.
But of course, I stayed silent and accepted it.
Only problem is, now she's super toxic and I can't let her go in fear of her offing herself in turn. I'm scared. I don't want to cause her death, and I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I have no other options.
I'm getting close to the end of my line.
Recently she introduced me to a guy and we started dating last month. He's an amazing guy and I like him a lot.
Only problem is, she's nosier than a spy. She openly reads my chats with him and I hate it. Then she keeps joking that I should break up with him, and that her telling me he likes me and pushing us to ask each other out was a joke. Like some joke, huh?
It bothers me because she can just up and ask for my stuff and snoop through my privacy and break my boundaries, but the moment I break one of hers or anything, she stops talking to me, gives me the silent treatment, or gets really sad and then I'm left to worry about her.
So I'm looking for some advice. What do I do? I don't want to drop her as a friend, because we have great memories, but she's toxic af. And I also can't drop her just randomly because we go to the same school and she might off herself. I'd tell her family, but I don't know if any of them care enough to believe me to help her.
I'm at a loss. Help? (link)
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At first, let me give you this advice the less you share about your relationship with your friends the less problem you will have in your relationship.
Now about your friend, You should talk to her directly. I get that she is your bestfriend for years but everyone should have their own private life. You should tell her about her limit. Directly tell her what is bothering you, if she overreacts about it or gets offended than its her problem.
The most important person in your life is you. If you are not comfortable with anything you should take steps about it.
Hope this helps! take care :)
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im girl 17,i told my classmate(boy) who is also my crush in the concrete i gave him a note, saying i like him..two days later, i asked him to talk about it bc he didnt give any respond and i wanted to how he feels ,during school,i asked him if we could go and talk somewhere private , he said it is nice that i told him about my feelings for him,he also told me that he know how hard it must´ve been for me to hide my feelings from him.then he said he doesnt have time for relationship bc he has activites besides school (he plays guitar, he dances)and also he told me he firstly wants to develop more spiritually..(if that makes sense) bc we go to catholic church ,and then he hugged me saying that we should continue to be friends and then i deleted him from my friends on fb during summer holidays bc i was always checking if he is online.now is new school year and he found out i removed him from my friends on fb, and he texted me why i did that, and if he did something wrong he is sorry , i told him i did it bc it hurts me and that i dont want to be friends, and he said it´s ok, i thought it would hurt less, but it hurts me more ,now i ignore him bc i dont know how to act to him..he sent me friend request on fb but i didnt accept it yet..he was good friend to me before i told him about my feelings..please help me should i be his friend again or not? if yes what should i tell him,why i suddenly accepted his friend request on fb,and also today is his birthday, should i wish him happy birthday even i removed him from my friends??..thanks for help :) (link)
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If you are ready to accept him only as your friend and if you are ready not to expect anything from him than you should be friend and also you can accept his friend request. Treat him like you treat your other friends. But if you are not able to do that or you still have feelings for him and you expect that one day he will love you than my advice is stay away from him.Stop day dreaming about him and accept the reality. And believe me you are too young for all this complication. Just live your life and wait for the right person.
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hey i an from Limpopo.im in a new relationship.me n my bf we a naw datin for 1month n 3days.i love my bf so much n i try to make him happy but dat doesnt hide de fact dat my bf is still inlove wth his ex who has died.wen he need me i go n be wth him.on saturday it was his bdae n i made a suprise party for him n i invited his friends n ada gals.he was very happy n i was happy to see him happy.but dat dae at nyt he said i shuld not leave i shuld sleep ova n i did so.he started talking abt his ex who died n his ex was buried on saturday on his bdae.he told me dat he is over her n he dnt luv her anymore but his actions was telling me another story.he evn cried for his ex infront of me n didnt wt tu du or wat to say.my heart was heavy wen he was kissing me he suddenly stopped n he said he cant.yesterdae he removed de status on watsap he wrote abt me n write dat he love his ex n he change a profile pic n put his ex.i cried alone n my hurt was heavy realising dat im truly,madly n deeply inlove wth him.what do i have to do? (link)
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Losing someone very close to you hurt so much.. he is in so much pain now.. so you should give him time.. and love him unconditionally!! he will understand sooner or later..
good luck..
take care..
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I have been dating my boyfriend for one and a half years now. He was in the same college, two years elder. Passed out the year we started dating and started working. We haven't ever had major problems except for once when he couldn't clear a major exam and his parents blamed it on his distraction because of me but we eventually got back because he got a good job and he loved me.
We just spent the last ten days together on a holiday with his friends and a couple of mine and then at his place alone for a couple of days.
We got into a petty fight two days back and he told me he really thinks we should see new people. He feels since I'm just 19 and he's 22 there is a lot more in life then getting serious for each other.
I let him be for a day and when we met next to talk this out he said he doesn't want to see new people. He was just saying that to make me angry. But he feels like we should break up because he thinks relationships are restrictive and he feels bound and he can't be himself. He told me he wants to still be with me and do all the things we used to do like go out for dinners, watch movies etc but he can't be physical with me. He feels when we do he gets too emotionally attached to me and he doesn't want that .We are too into each other.
He accepted that he still loves me and will because I'm a huge part of his life and he doesn't want to feel this way for any other girl. But right now he feels like he isn't fit for relationships and he can't see himself in one ever, even in the future. He knows i'd wait for this to work out but he said he didnt want to give me false hopes. He would try to make this work out too but right now he cant.
He feels now that we are bound by a relationship he would be able to express his feelings better in front of me. He loves me as much as he loves him mom and best friends and he wants me to be there but he said he can live without the sex.
We agreed on neither breaking up or dating. And I couldn't accept calling this a friendship so we just agreed on not defining it till he clears his head. But I can't stop feeling hurt and insecure.
I love him. But I can't understand what happened to him suddenly. What am I supposed to do? I'm in a delimma because I want him and this relationship back. Is there a chance ? Is this just a phase and should I just play along by giving him time? (link)
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Sorry for you dear! He does not want to be in a relationship but he says he loves you. But again he says he doesn't want to give a you any false hope! What that's mean?
For me relationship never can be a problem when two people love each other equally. When we truly love someone we want to be in a relationship. Because we want to spend our hole life with them. Like now you want a relationship with him because you truly love him. You fear about losing him. This is the sign of true love. But don't know why he behaving like this. I think you should talk to him directly. If he really loves you give him some time and tell him you can wait for him. Try to figure out the real problem. You know each other for one and half year. It's not a long time at all. May be you don't know many things about him. May be he had a wound from of love previously that's why he is behaving like this. Coz he has a fear of hurting again.
Try to understand him and the situation.
Good luck dear.
If you need any help again feel free to ask.
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So there's this guy I've been crushing on so hard for the past while now. I'm in the US and he's in... Australia (fml). I really like him. Don't know if he sees me the same way. People think I'm crazy. But I was gonna like take it REALLY slow, get to know him a lot then tell him if I still like him as much or even more. Because if you truly like someone and want to be with them, it doesn't matter the distance, how much time you have with them, or how long it'll take to meet them, right? Btw, he said he's going to move to the UK or US when he graduates university. So there's a good chance with that, right? (link)
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Sweetheart you are not crazy at all.You know distance doesn't matter when your feelings are so strong.Reading this I have a feeling that may be you are not sure that you are doing right or wrong! May be many people tell you that this type of crush or relationship never works bla bla. But the people do not know how you feel. Only you know how actually you feel for him. And I think you have a strong feeling for him.If you really have then go with it. Let me tell you,you are doing absolutely right. Follow your heart.
Good luck dear.
If you need any help let me know :)
Take care.
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Hello, I am female and 20, he is 22. I work as a cashier at walmart and this guy works in the Subway in my walmart. He just moved here a couple months ago and we started talking. One night, my parents were away for the week so I had a small party and he came over for a few hours. Where my friend thought he was cute and tried to get with him where he didn't reciprocate. He never answered her texts or anything and later told me he thought she had chronic bitch face. She stopped trying, he and I continued talking but not all the time. As time went on, we would talk more, I got his number from my friend. He never texts me first but he always replies. However, on his breaks at work, he would come over and talk to me. He would act like he had a question when he was talking to me so I wouldn't get in trouble. When I'm on self checkout, he would come and talk to me. One night, I was done before him so I waited with him until he closed to shop and he gave me a free cookie and then he walked me to my car afterwards and we talked at my car for an hour. He told me about how his aunt adopted him and how he moved around a lot, how he tried to go to college and how he realized it wasn't for him, he talked about how he wanted to have kids but didn't want to be "tied down" with a girl. Last night, he was finished before I was, so he came over and talked to me at self checkout. We were laughing and joking and everything and then he said he wanted to go home and sleep, he works three jobs so he barely sleeps. Before he left, though, he told me to text him and I brought up that he never texts me and he said he doesn't like thinking that he bothers me so he never texts me but he always answers mine. So, I told him to get home and rest and he went in for a hug before he left.
With said information, would you say he likes me? If so, why would he tell me he doesn't want a girlfriend? What should I do? I don't like texting him first all the time but we would never talk if I don't. (link)
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well it's difficult to say whether he likes you or not!! but he never texts you first that shouldn't be a problem. you have to understand that all people are different from each other. every people have their own thinking. I think you should give him some hints about your feelings. if you think he have some feelings for you tell him that you like him. look if you never ask the answer will be NO always.if you ask then there would be 50% chance . and give him some time, tell him that you him that you can wait.
I hope everything will be ok.
good luck.
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So I've been talking to this guy over the phone (texting) and he's a good friend of my best friend! He told me he likes me and I really like him too!I haven't met him in ages but heard a lot about him from my friend! Now he wants to date me... We talk often and I think he wants a committed relationship just like me! How do I make sure that he wants the same?
I've met him previously! He's shy! He is going away for his masters to Europe next month for a year! I asked him how do I get to see him and he asked me if I'm okay with Skype relationship for a year !I think if it survives long distance, it's the real test! I have problems initiating conversation with him! Is that bad? Do relationships work if it's long distance? Please advice :) (link)
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You didn't mention your age. Anyway if you like him and he likes you and you both want a committed relationship then I don't see any problem. And sweetheart distance doesn't matter when two people love each other and trust each other. If you trust him and he does the same,there is no problem. You said you have problems initiating conversation,no it's not bad or abnormal.
You know two things build a relationship LOVE and TRUST. If both of you have them for each other then long distance doesn't matter.
Good luck my dear!
Take care.. :)
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So we had a breakup after 10months and I wanted to stay friends with him because I still have feelings for him.But just one week after our breakup he started dating this other chick.
It hurts so much.
Donno what to do (link)
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Its ok that you still have feelings for him. But you need to move on. See he started dating someone else. May be he even didn't think of you. Why you are punishing yourself? If you become friend with him it will be very hard for you to move on. Just let him go. Live your life. Be busy with your works. Spend time with your friends and family. Make new friends. Listen to update music watch movie.
Listen my dear every one has that type of moment in their life. But you have to be strong and you have to learn to let the unworthy people. This the simple rule to be happy.
Good luck and Take care.
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I'm 20 and I broke up with my first love a year ago. I loved him with every fibre in my being and did literally everything for him, even if it went against my morals. I spent all the money I had on getting him expensive gifts and I stuck with him, even when he couldn't care less about me. When we broke up because of the fact that he didn't wanna deal with commitment, at this stage in his life, he wasn't upset, not even for a day. It's been over a year and I've been the only one carrying all this pain and I've been holding so much hope that we could get back together, someday. We still see each other and he kisses me and that's what gave me hope that he still likes me. But last night, he told me that he'd never even think of marrying someone like me and that he needs a submissive kind of girl who doesn't pick up on the wrong things he does, like I did.I always picked up on all his lies and everything he hid from me. It hit me all at once, last night that he's been using me this past year and using my vulnerability. I cried in front of him for two hours straight and he kept saying the same things like "You're not my first love so I can't hold that much love for you" and "I told you I didn't want a relationship" "My first made me lose all my emotions" . I don't know why I'm so attached to him or why I'm even this devastated over a jerk like him. I just need someone to talk some sense into me. I worry, that I'll never be good enough for someone. What else can I do for someone to make them appreciate me? I allowed him to cross so many limits of mine and went above and beyond for him, and I get this, in return. How will I expect the next guy in my life to appreciate what I'll do for him and not break my heart again? (link)
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At first sorry for you. You have done so much for the guy but he didn't even try to understand your feelings. Forget him. Never contact him again. I know it will be hard for you but you have to do it. You are doubting at yourself because of him. So forget every single things about him. Try new hobby, hangout with friends, listen songs, watch funny movie. Do whatever you like. Don't get depressed. You know you don't have to perfect for anyone. None is perfect in this world. And we all should love our imperfections. Oneday someone will love you for what you are actually. Don't change yourself for anyone. And yes just because some stupid didn't care for you doesn't mean every guy will be the same. You know oneday someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it didn't work with anyone. The real guy won't break your heart. You are only 20. A great life ahead is waiting for. Be yourself, do what you what to do.
Wishes for you.
If you need any help again. Let me know.
Thank you.
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Good morning / Good afternoon advicenators, I`m 20/f and my bf is 22. I`m from India. We recently broke up a few months ago and decided to stay friends. We broke up because we had been in a secret relationship and finally he wanted to come out but I couldnt let it happen because of my family. The problem is I cant stop thinking about him and I truly still love him. I know for sure my family would never accept him so thats the reason we cant get back together. We still text each other and talk but I want to know how i can just love him as a friend. I want to be with him but because its impossible, I just want to learn how to stop thinking about him constantly without having to stop talking or texting him. (link)
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I really don't have the answer of your question. But yes want to tell you something dear. You know the most rare thing of the world is TRUE LOVE. You lucky that you found it in a young age. So please don't let it go. I know you have problem. But when there is a problem, there is also a solution. And you are the one who knows the solution better. good luck my dear! if you need any advice further let me know!
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Hi there, I am from Philippines.
Here's my case:
We just met here at work.
We became close and good friends. Sweetness overload. And we are starting to fall BUT he has a girlfriend.
I know our status in the first place but I made a decision to still push this feelings and what we have is totally indescribable. We're like lovers which is open to every one. Hold hands, kisses, hugs, sms & calls. We decided to think of what makes us happy and what we just have for now and at work and don't mind what he have with his gf at home.
Everything went well and smooth for the past 3 weeks. Happy and unmindful of the future. But something just changed.
He is now not sure of getting this cloudy relationship to keep going. He said he cannot fall for me because of his status. But we both admit that we're already getting there, falling. And we both decided that we need to lessen being together, those sweet nothings, text messages and start to think that we are now slowly cutting this off.
I am totally getting hurt! I am trying to do the same thing but it really hurt. I miss him so badly, its been 4 days now that we hardly talk and see each other.
What should I do? I am totally lost. I'm used to be with him. At some point I am still sending him messages, calling him, I cannot continue to really break what we had. Its hard. Specially we are both in just one environment. (link)
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First of all sorry for you. This is really a hard situation. Try to find out how actually he feels for you.Does he really love you? And he is doing all this because he is committed already. If he truly loves you and cares for you then he should confess every thing to his gf. If you both love each other then you shouldn't give up just because of someone else.But if he doesn't love you now. Then dear you have to accept it. You shouldn't beg someone to stay when he wants to leave. However, the end of love is not the end of life. It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson. If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it. Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay in your life and prove how much they love you. Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait.
Good luck my dear!
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I'm a 22 year old girl. For about a year now I met a wonderful guy with a great personality. We click and get along so well. We see a lot of things similarly. He would be the ideal guy for me except im not attracted to him. I think he senses that im not but he always tells me how much he cares about me and that he's glad to have me in his life. At one point he did tell me he had feelings for me but at the time I had a boyfriend and it was a complicated situation. My boyfriend at the time and I were going through some issues and he was there for me when I needed to vent. But anyway, now, after regaining our close friendship, its obvious he wants to be with me but I don't know if I see myself with him in the future because of the lack of physical attraction. I feel selfish a lot of the times because I know he wants more but I wouldn't give it to him. He says hes glad and appreciative of our friendship but I know he would love to have me as his own. I also just got out of a relationship with that guy I mentioned earlier so I'm not into dating anyone new right now in the hopes of being serious. I just want to continue to further my life for me. I tell him this but he always tells me to never shut the possibility out of being happy again and meeting someone. He always hints that I would be the perfect girl for him and I just feel so bad that I cannot return that feeling. He's in my life a lot and I can't just remove myself from his life. I also dont want to lose him as a friend. I honestly dont know what to do anymore. I feel guilty at this point. (link)
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Dear,Why you are feeling guilty? Its normal that you don't feel the same for him.Just because someone cares for you doesn't mean that you also have to do the same.You consider him as your friend. And you told him clearly about your feelings.So you are not giving him any wrong signal. So don't feel guilty. Give yourself time. May be one day you will feel the same for him. You know people feelings change. And may be one day you will find him attractive. But whatever you feel make it clear to him. Never lie to him or to yourself. And yes never compromise in a relationship.
Good Luck!!
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So basically me and my friends boyfriend have abit of a history together and recently we've started talking and texting again. We have so much chemistry together and we both have feelings for one another but not the type of feelings that we want to be together as a couple, we just enjoy having abit of fun together but the problem is that he is with one of my college friends and they have been together for a while now. I know it's wrong to be doing what we are doing but we can't help ourselves and I know it's wrong to just let him use me like this but I kind of enjoy it. Please someone give me advice on what to do in this situation. Thank you! P.s I'm 19, female and from England. (link)
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If you are not sure about your feelings and you don't want to be a couple that you should stop all this.And you wrote that you know it's wrong so may be one day you will feel regret. so just ignore him or treat him like a friend.
Thank you!
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My girlfriend asking me why I love her.
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first you ask yourself why you love her.if you finds a reason than its not love its attraction or something.If you don't find a reason than you love her truly.love doesn't need any reason.you don't know why you love the person but you do.and tell the same to your girlfriend.
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I need help, I like my best friend, I've been liking him for awhile but I haven't told him cause I don't wanna ruin anything I know that if I tell him I will ruin everything but I really like him and I don't know what to do :( (link)
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ok first you should try to know about his feelings.May be he also feels the same for you but afraid to tell you.You should give him hints that you like him not directly.Like tell him 'if you have a twins brother i would love him or propose him'.sometimes flirts with him.See how he reacts.hope you will understand how he feels about you.good luck.. :)
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