So basically me and my friends boyfriend have abit of a history together and recently we've started talking and texting again. We have so much chemistry together and we both have feelings for one another but not the type of feelings that we want to be together as a couple, we just enjoy having abit of fun together but the problem is that he is with one of my college friends and they have been together for a while now. I know it's wrong to be doing what we are doing but we can't help ourselves and I know it's wrong to just let him use me like this but I kind of enjoy it. Please someone give me advice on what to do in this situation. Thank you! P.s I'm 19, female and from England.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Dragonflymagic answered Friday August 22 2014, 12:49 am: It almost seems to me that you contradict yourself cus couples need to have two things to make a good start for a couples relationship, one being best friends/good friends and the other having that romantic spark, sexual chemistry. You said:
We have so much chemistry together and we both have feelings for one another but not the type of feelings that we want to be together as a couple, we just enjoy having abit of fun together
It is in best friends type of caring for each other that the 'feelings for each other comes about'. Otherwise, the feelings that you are talking about would just be lust feelings which don't work for a relationship. You may have the sexual chemistry but if thats all you have, then yes, a relationship will not work. So you are
doing something with this guy that you know is wrong. You are allowing your baser nature of just taking care of your sexual urges to override your choices of treating your girlfriend with respect. Right now you have no respect for her feelings, by continueing to hang out with, have contact with and perhaps sex with her current boyfriend.
I hope you realize you risk losing her friendship sooner or later due to what you are doing.
You ask us what you should do but I dont think you need us to answer what is so obviously a reply. You must have a conscience because you say you know its wrong. So you tell me, what are we supposed to do when we are doing the wrong thing or going the wrong way? Do we continue to go the wrong way or make another choice. The choice is yours. You will do what you want to do no matter what we say. You need to be honest with yourself as to why you are choosing to do this.
Is it because you have a high libido and need sex often. Is it cus you have an emotional need and he seems so far the best to fulfill that for you? there must be some draw for you that keeps you from being able to pull away and stop. Discover what that draw or need is and then if he's off limits, decide where you will go to get those same needs met. It may seem he's the only one who is going to be best for you but you will meet others. Just make sure that in finding a guy that you have the things in common that are important to you. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
Snigdha_Rosy answered Thursday August 21 2014, 9:56 am: If you are not sure about your feelings and you don't want to be a couple that you should stop all this.And you wrote that you know it's wrong so may be one day you will feel regret. so just ignore him or treat him like a friend.
Thank you! [ Snigdha_Rosy's advice column | Ask Snigdha_Rosy A Question ]
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