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I can't make conversation
18/f
I have a lovely circle of friends and we all get on really well and I'm so chatty and confident when there is atleast 3 of us but when it's just me and a friend I find it really difficult to hold/start a conversation and I'm worried that I'm boring. Can someone please give me advice on how to hold and start a conversation please?
Thanks
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If you have some things in common, then you can never be boring, bring up convo's on things you both like. If you have nothing in common, it can still work...lets say you love bowling and she's never played...differences work fine to help expose us to things we've never tried or done. You ask the friend bowling and take time to go slowly over how to position the ball and when to release and body form, and how to keep track of scores. this works for any hobby.
There is nothing wrong either with companionable silence and no talk. Some times, words are not much needed. Like being out at a park with a friend, you see someone's puppy doing something funny, or some other thing you want to point out. You don't have to say a word, just a tap on the shoulder, pointing so she will look too and the both of you sharing a good laugh together without a word needing to be said.
It may not be so much that you have difficulty with conversation but the issue lies more with how you feel about yourself. Perhaps you don't even like yourself. Low self esteem or a low self image will have effect on your relationships with girlfriends and also with a guy when you try to date. the girls already know you and like you so your fears will have no effect on them.
So whenever you feeling that you may be boring, talk to your self and deny it. Tell yourself, that negative thought is not true, I am not boring, I am very interesting. A ffew minutes later the same thought will come, repeat the positive affirmation. you will become aware quickly of how often you hold on to the negative energy of these thoughts and your poor subconscious mind can only do one of the things it is made to do, to change your behaviour to make your beliefs or your prediction come true so that in the end, it could become a real issue with you slowly becoming a boring person. Right now you are not. Even if you were, using the same tactic, you can climb out of the hole. It wont be instant like a day or two but consist work on yourself for weeks. Its a bad habit and at minimum takes a month to change a habit...but I have found it to be longer sometimes like 6 weeks or so.
If its only idea's you lack and no things in commom to share about or nothing has happened in your life to have to share with them, then make up stories about a supposed relative, or person you saw at the mall or park and tell the funny story. I still do this today. I might get inspiration from an oddly dressed person I saw and just embellish on telling how I reacted to it or what I thought. Lets say it was a long haired blonde with a high shrill nasal voice and then they turn around and I am watching cus of the odd voice and realize it wasnt a female but a male with full beard and then I try to mimic the funny voice to get them laughing. Then ask if they've ever known anyone or met someone with a weird sounding voice. Its pretty easy if you're sharing tiny stories like that. Most likely it will cause your friend to think of their own similar story to tell and they share. If they dont speak up, then you ask them. If not, try another angle...can you imagine dating a guy who sounds more female than you do? No matter how nice a guy, it would irritate me too much eventually. What about you?
Do you see how you can keep conversation going...using yourself, your experiences and your opinions as a spring board? If you have trouble in only one specific area, just give me the details and I will try to help more.
Good luck dear.
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No problem! We all get stuck with getting a conversation started!!
How about''Guess what I saw on the Yahoo! Home Page today??'' And then tell them something about Kim K looking riduclous in some outfit!
See a new movie recently? Spill to your friends,then go on from the movie,and talk about actors and actresses that are your favorite!
Still stuck Cant go wrong with a card game!! Like ever!! Bring games like UNO,or Jenga.Something fun.
Play truth or dare.Maybe,hangout at a mall,and start a conversation with anything that may intrest you!
Be blessed!
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