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Friends after break up
Good morning / Good afternoon advicenators, I`m 20/f and my bf is 22. I`m from India. We recently broke up a few months ago and decided to stay friends. We broke up because we had been in a secret relationship and finally he wanted to come out but I couldnt let it happen because of my family. The problem is I cant stop thinking about him and I truly still love him. I know for sure my family would never accept him so thats the reason we cant get back together. We still text each other and talk but I want to know how i can just love him as a friend. I want to be with him but because its impossible, I just want to learn how to stop thinking about him constantly without having to stop talking or texting him.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It's time to meet other guys! I know that you love him. But, if you really don't see a future with him why don't you try befriending other men that your family would approve of? Who knows, you may find someone you like.
If this does not work, than maybe you will have to consider disappointing your family.
Those are really your only two options.
Toodleoo,
Miss Piggy
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You have an age old problem thats been around for centuries upon centuries, where two people who are truly in love feel the pressure against them being together because of:
Family's opinion or bias,
Religious differences
Coming from a different social caste
And it is not easy to stand firm and strong against disapproval of family, society, friends and neighbors. But it is not their lives we're talking about, just yours. Your life is yours to live as you best see fit to do. If the two of you are not strong enough to withstand the disapproval or loss of other friends and family because of staying together, then you will have to live with your choice. If it is a matter of people doing something violent against you both such as threatening your lives, hurting you or trying to kill you for your choice to be together, I can see not doing it, but if that isnt likely, then there is nothing else to hold you back other than a fear of other people, their reactions, their disapproval.
If the two of you are truly both in love, and choose to not become a couple but just remain friends, and stay in touch, sorry but theres no way to turn off the feelings and even the regrets. They may fade over time or you may be distracted by marrying someone family approves of who is nice but doesnt capture your heart such as this guy. So you will face wondering and longing for him all life long and not having him. Thats a lot of years of wanting and not having.
Only you can know what the right thing to do is for you. If you choose to not become a couple and staying in touch is hurting you, then stop all contact with him because if the chemistry is there for you to love him as a lover, then you can't make it go away to love him as a friend...same as two people who don't have that chemistry together are not able to do anything to make it happen. It either just is there or isn't.
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I really don't have the answer of your question. But yes want to tell you something dear. You know the most rare thing of the world is TRUE LOVE. You lucky that you found it in a young age. So please don't let it go. I know you have problem. But when there is a problem, there is also a solution. And you are the one who knows the solution better. good luck my dear! if you need any advice further let me know!
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