13/m
ok so last night i had a dream about a girl i went out with for a few months last year
now....im a believer in the things what people say like, dreams are the key to our subconscious and things like that.
so i cant remember the whole dream but the bit i do remember is that i saved her from something im not sure what(because i cant remember) and then we are sitting down talking about something and she kissed me(not pashed/french kissed,just normal what kids do) really pashonately and then she hugged me real tight.
and now i cant stop thinking about that girl
she has been the only girl i've ever really loved(or at least thats what i thought it was)
i broke off the relationship because we were getting to be not talking to each other much and stuff like that but i dont want to go into details
so what could this dream mean?
p.s sorry the question was so long
Hmm, another question to ask is "if you have been thinking about her lately, consciously"? Because even the slightest bit of a memory can leak into the subconscious, or if you haven't and its surpressed- then its another way.
It could mean a few things,
1 - EITHER! she is a symbol for what you love and you are aching (subconsciously desiring) to feel that way again-
2 - Again, deep down you truly miss the way things were, the talking etc- because u said u did talk in your dream..
3 - IF your still seeing her every now and then, maybe in school, you've noticed she still likes you or wants your attention so your subconscious is trying to tell you something that you haven't been aware of while awake.
4 - OR it could just be nothing but a fantasy, and she is just a place holder. Dreams are funny that way, though you probably believe like I do -its a problem solver.
Just please be aware that your dream girl.. is not the same girl in reality- its very hard to decipher, because when your awake , you're making the effort or BLINDLY letting yourself be led to the assumption that this girl you've known, is now this dream girl- thats false.
So don't go back to her because of this dream, its not fair to her- or even yourself for the delusion.
I hope this has helped! Theres so much to think about when it comes to dreams. If it happens again, try to remember more.. and hey, if it happens again where you haven't been talking man- just.. freshly start a conversation, though im sure, other little significant details are attached.
Be gOOD!
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so i like this boy and he likes me a lot but im also hearing theres this other girl who likes him but i dont know how he feels about her. what are some things i could do to win him over?
Being yourself is always key. You'll never hear a better answer.
Some tips to winning him oveR?! and this is on the assumption he has even given the other girl some thought.
1: Don't compete, try not to think about winning him over like he is a prize. This will put your mind at rest and make it more bareable to stand yourself if you should ever see him with her. Remember he is a PERSON, not a boy. theres a difference.
2: I'm sure he likes you alreayd because you've been doing exactly right. So I can hardly say anything else to improve on.. your tactics :D. Yes flirrtation is a go! but key- do not ever, ever intend to flirt with another man in his presence to make him see that you are to be wanted. Its a turn off, maybe some guys like the challenge but if u truly care for him, you won't put him through that, your better than that.
3: Wow, these shouldn't even be listed as numbers- Even if you do, pretend you don't care. If you see him talking to the other girl involved (assuming) dont let your judgements get in the way, its selfish. Actually, if you even help her in a way, if you know he likes you.. and you say "wow, you two make a great couple" (REALLY SINCERELY, without a hint of remorse) he'll know that you cannot be affected by anyone else. That you are above all that and that he has to work to please you, or even disturb you. I hope this doesn't backfire, but this is from understanding that he does like you. But also don't misinterrpret what I meant and not be affected at all- just in the bad ways- be affected in a way, that once you see him (which im sure you're alrdy doing since its so uncontrollibly awesome!) Smile, be so happy to see him and he will then see, in reverse, how capable he is to do so much good with little effort.
6: Did I skip? SO! just another plus. Be mysterious. Don't give away too much- if the other girl is always telling him, her day, what she did exactly at every moment, he won't be interested that much loner because he already knows, there no work for him to be the greatest detective ever. If she's telling him, rather than SHOWING him what kind of person she is, again its all said and done. He can't even make a judgement for himself. But please, do not be there and not tell him what you did that day if he asks, he may get a little annoyed and too tired if your playing too hard to get that he mis-construdes it to be that you are infact, not interested. SO.. be careful
19: I hope I helped! So sorry if this makes no sense. Be happy!
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I had a dream that I almost had sex twice with my best friends boyfriend. And then like lateer in the dream he was like caring about what I was doing at this party. And like 2 weeks ago I went to their aunts house with my best friend and her family. And well he was obviously there. And he kept looking at me like that look like ugh, I don't know how to explain it. So what does that mean? Oh and he's like 2 or 3 years older than me.
Its just a way for your subconscious to tell you something you haven't noticed consciously. Maybe not even something thats true, its a very subjective perspective to think about, but often it can just be fantasy. And yes, sex dreams like that are just random. You have to question yourself. Why him? Or why a sex dream? It all depends on what you know consciously, so don't let that dream get to you. It may be about the guy, i don't know, but it may also be that the guy doesn't matter -As if, your B'fs boyfriend is just a place holder, or the type of guy you want, not directly him sort of speak, etc! Hmm, I can only guess! that when you saw him to look at you like ugh is just something you never really truly noticed before. Something maybe you didn't want to notice before and your stupid subconsious is leaking it out (sorry, hehe) anyways! its no big deal. AND Hey- it was just a dream.
I hope that helped, dreams are cool. Sleep tight!
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Heyy, i was wondering about lucid dreaming or conscious dreaming. (dreaming while being aware that you are in a dream and therefore can control what you do in the dream.)
i have read all about it and know all there is to know but i was wondering if anyone here knows haw to do it. If so can you give me any tips on how you learned how to train yourself to dream lucidly? i would really like to learn how.
please get back to me if you know how to do it!
It is a state of mind.
However there are ways to practice. It is extremely extremely hard. Very hard in fact, it takes a lot of time to even get to that point, on will, or command. Naturally it comes because you've actually thought about it and things seep through.
Personally, I've trained myself how to do it. It took about two months, I actually had 2 in a row which was great, and I eventually moved up where instead of controlling to fly- i was about to move objects, ANYWAYS! hah its fun. Okay-
There are sites out there, which as you've said you know everything about.
So here's what I did.
1: Question your surroundings. Ask yourself all the time in your head, "Where am I exactly? What Time is it? Is it the Summer?" things like that, so that when you enter your dream state, naturally you've already questioned everything so if anything is different, you're mind would have already questioned it and realize "Wait, I shouldn't be in London right now, or.. it was 12:00 when went to bed, or.. This isn't my friend" Then you are aware. You probably know that there is no concept of time in dreams, nor is there a concept of light. I've never had the experience of seeing if a lightswitch worked or not (supposedly it doesn't), but I have seen the time change rapidly and thats a good key to witness.
2: I was told to drink milk before going to bed, not sure if that helps and I didn't use it.
3: I usually looked at my hands right before sleeping. Like a GOOD turn about as if I was studying something so plain that I see everything, really look. Because one time I entered a dream and just so happened to be running away from something and my hands flashed in front of me, they were in the position with all fingers glues togethe, thumbs jagged out and palm flat.. To me it seemed very blurry and I knew these weren't how my hands looked. SO i stopped and I said I don't need to run, I can fly!
3: Be aware of your control. This other time in my dream, I was very scared, actually same dream as the hand one- to be more confirmed there was my friend running ahead of me and I told him "Wait wait! wait for me" or something, and of course he did. And then i remembered wait that doesn't help him, zombies will get us both (whatever) so I said "go go!" but i wasn't speaking any of these words, i was thinking it, so i knew I had power over him.
4: DO NOT GET OVEREXCITED. usuaully when people realize they are lucid dreaming they get over excited and wake themselves up. It's something you should be aware of. First, realize your dreaming then consciously put an effort to not be to hasty. I remember once when i was flying I asked myself, Okay what do I want to see, and Of course I wanted to see .. a girl, but because your mind is very rapid (VERY, in dreaming ,your decisions come in measures beyond time, less then half a second, i forgot the term) so anyways, my mind went straight to something else besides seeing her and i conjured up an airplane in the distance, and it grew really big because i wanted to know what it was- and BAM I shocked myself too much and woke up)
5: I also tried to keep a dream journal, i think if i did more of this it would def. help but it was too much of a hassle for me. Write down your dream signs of what you dream about mostly. If its a girl and you say "wait i only see you here, your supposed to be in london or something" or a different place, maybe your in london. I think its always a different time/place/person. Anyways be aware of what you dream about, and learn how you got to that in the first place.
6: THE THING I DID MOST. before going to bed, i always told myself repeatedly, open mouthed - lucid dream, lucid dream, lucid dream (of course i know exactly what that means, but if your brain doesnt just tell yourself, "I'm going to bed, I'm going to dream, I'm going to go sleep, etc") then your mind will know where it will be going and your consciously putting an effort. This WILL NOT HAPPEN OVERNIGHt. But the key is to always Think about it. if you want it bad enough, you'll get it. Just keep thinking of lucid dreaming (i may even have one tonight for telling you all this)
ITs very hard, and .. its a lot of work when your awake. It does make your dreams seem cooler, its a cool sensation to fly and moving objects man! haha in that one i conjured a dinosaur because the rocks reminded me of tar, tar reminded me of lava, or some theme park and thats how i got it.
remember, don't get too exited, control yourself.
Hope this helped! Best of luck!
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14/f
Ok so I have a crush on this guy. He goes to my church and I see him like twice a week. We are friends and he will talk to me alot. He asked if he could sit by me this last week and of course I said yeah. He is so cool and cute, haha. But yeah I really don't know what I should do. He goes to a private school and I know everyone there, its not very big. So I'm really confused. He walks with me sometimes and will talk to me alot. So what should I do? Here is another thing. I'm a quiet person, I mean I'm not waaay shy but I'm in that range. So the only times I talk to him is when he talks to me. I have never started it...maybe once. But I have to be with my friends and in a good mood and all hyper and stuff. So then I have the courage to talk to him. Weird, but yeah. How do I talk to him and is there anything else you can give me? Thanks so much!
Theres nothing wrong with being quiet, thats just one "something" about you. And you know what, thats probably one of the reasons he likes you. It's different and thats good. He sounds like a really nice guy and it sounds like he is putting in a lot of effort. You don't want to make the mistake as coming off "Cold" if you never make the effort yourself. I'm sorry, you need to, its what you want isn't it. SO! Not to say, you must always step OUT of your way to talk to him, but the next time you see him and he sees you- simply walk over there and its simple. Just say "Hi". Start it from there and I'm sure he'll lead you into a more deeper conversation. If not ask "how are you, how was your day" or if he brushes it off, no worries, tell him about your day (Vague details are an okay too, since you are "shy" or I'd say "A private person" then give him just the little bits, because then he'll wonder and if he is really interested in you, to make sure, he'll ask "oh yeah? REALLY? how was that" OR "hmm what did you do exactly?")
At this point you'll be smiling from being so brave :D
BE YOURSELF! If your quiet, thats fine, just don't be cold. Theres a difference - if he sees you and you see him and he doesn't get the chance to go over to you, but you know he saw you (don't start worrying, what happened, does that mean he doesn't want to talk) No. it just means that, he saw you and he's engaged into something else, he's just another person, he has thoughts and feelings as well, always be aware of that, so ASK him about it. I promise you- you, will, not, seem, like, you, are, anyone else but your own self. Just because you approached him, so confidently or silly (skip to him, who cares!) doesn't make you compromise who you are (if you like to be, well quiet) Another thing - Being Shy.. can be very attractive, but don't be stand off-ish. IT seems like you are a very excited person and you are very lively whenever you are near your friends ,and thats great- you should feel very comfortable around your friends and thats the vibe you want when your with him. SO what will HELP is.. think! think! - why? its okay to question "why am I really "myself" with my friends, and its hard for me to be that way around him" The answer is easy, theres one answer to that riddle- i already know and its "because you just met him". Try not to think of it that much, because then you'll start thinking of the expectations, about what is he thinking, it only creates stress and disables you from the PRESENT. YOu see him? You want to talk to him? If you aren't interrupting anything important, once again, just say Hi. Oh or even, if he is busy or you are off going somewhere, and your busy.. let him know your there and that you did notice him, either brush by him, poke him, smile at him or a simple WAVE hello from a distance and going right back into the conversations with your friends is very friendly.
I think its the nerves, USE Them. Try. Its hard, I know, it comes with practice, maybe talk to some other guys who may seem a bit less intimidating? or a new girlfriend.
Its ALL ABOUT COMMOM EXPERIENCE. And thats finding things in which you have in common. Art? Music? Movies? very good subjects and easy for girls to talk about I'm sure, guys will love to hear what you like, don't be afriad to have your own opinion on things, it'll show character and confidence and you already have both, you just don't know it.
ALL the best!
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f/15
Okay so I'm dating this guy, We've been dating for about 2 months. We go over each others houses at least 2 or 3 times a week and we always do something on weekends. We have a really nice relationship and I know pretty much everything about him. When we're over each others houses all we do is cuddle and sometimes I make him do kiddie stuffs with me :D But yeah, I really want to kiss him. Ha. I haven't kissed anyone before, obviously and neither has he. When we cuddle is the worst of all, because I never get enough courage to do so, and I know he's not going to make the first move. So, like how do I? What should I do?
Thankies :)
When your cuddling its harder, because I think it feels very different - a state of vulnerability. Everything off, its quiet (in your head at least because you want it so bad) and once you start thinking about it, you become conscious enough of the other person, that you become inflicted with doubt, So if you do decide to do it , DO IT, don't think. (HE has definetely thought about it as well, trust me, really) And hey- if thats where you want your first kiss to be (which, is totally cool - nothing can be more Private than a kiss) then I don't think at all, from a guys perspective for a girl to make the first move, sometimes its overpowering and the guy will like you even more for stepping it up, maybe say something witty afterwards like "I just couldn't wait any longer" or "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist" and smile! if doing it that way is a bit uncomfortable? (seeing as you may have just stared at him already and nervously waited for him to do it), you can always make it into one of your kiddie stuff games, something fun is always cool. Actually!- seeing as it is a first, its better that you should be comfortable with it and get the feel of things before making a joke of it (not the best words to use. sorry) And hey -nothings wrong with simply asking the question. "Do you want to kiss me?". Making it sound seductive is even more daring, because your just asking, you haven't given anything away about yourself- as in, whether or not you'd like to -of course, and if he says yes, and still doesn't?!! just move in slow, he'll get there.
BEST OF LUCK, as long as your doing whats right in your heart, you can never ever go wrong. Be good!
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i need to know if he likes me or is using me or what!?
i met this guy three weeks ago. hes perfect for me in every way and im a VERY picky girl. we were obsessed with eachother for the first few days. we went out, we kissed, we tried seeing eachother whenever we could, he was the sweetest. i thought we were about to go out. everyone in school was talking about it. we were perfect. i was waiting for him to ask me out...
he never did. the week after we made it clear we liked eachother and went out, he treated me like his girlfriend in front of people. we spent time together everyday because we were doing the same activity afterschool. hes a very flirty/friendly guy and always has girls flirting with him, which didnt bother me because we werent official and im not the jealous type. but other people thought we were going out so whenever he was with other girls, people looked at me like wtf? i think he thought i was jealous though cuz of all the people. anyway it didnt seem to matter to him, but then its three weeks later he still hasnt ask me out and hes different. like i was really starting to fall for him we are so perfect together...i dont get why he hasnt asked me out. im so confused, and now hes not as sweet, and doesnt txt me as often, doesnt call like he used to, and i think all the people got to his head or something. and we had a small argument when we were both in a bad mood and since then its not the same...hes cold and distant at times, especially around others, but then he still acts interested other times. during these few weeks we kissed and got close, and I'm starting to think he just maybe used me, but then y is he still showing interest? he calls and pays attention to me when he feels like it. and another thing, he said all the right things and i really started falling for him so now it really hurts that hes so different...i really don't understand what happened? why didn't he ask me out, it looked like he really wanted to! if he just wanted to use me he wouldn't have treated me like his girlfriend in school! what changed? i really need advice on this!!! should i try and forget about him?
Cupcake gave very good possibilities, through his perspective - it is likely that he may be "confused" or just, indecisive as to where he wants to lead the relationship. Maybe he does not see the use in labeling the two of you as b/f and g/f because there isn't a need to do so. Is he happy? or was he happy with you and then suddenly something happened, perhaps he felt pressured? I am afraid I may be getting this all wrong, for that I apologize. I only try to see things both ways, anyways -It may make him feel freer and less trapped to just have it what it is.
But, thats not very fair to you, is it? It makes a confusion and fuss out of things. Putting things out of order,to say. So walla, you are confused-
And yes, that is quite a predicament. To have him think you are jealous just because other people to look at you and suspect so. So you should make that clear to him you are not the jealous type. How? You cannot tell him "I'm not jealous" because people tend to believe more what they see then what they hear. You cannot fight fire with fire either in this circumstance because that will only fuel the flames so don't flirt with others in front of him to have him watch, instead - show that you are okay with it (if you truly are) by smiling and SHOWING you are happy that he is happy talking to other girls, you don't care right, you are not affected so much by others, you will smile- maybe even poke him in the butt and walk out of the door while he's in the middle of a conversation. Things like that will say "Hey, i'm here if you want to talk to me, but please continue, i won't get in the way"
Hmm, what you said about him kissing you and things being close, is that when people aren't around and then he's cold when are- then he is simply using you. I'm sorry, but::Allowing other people to see that he isn't taken and he is still open for them while you wait on the sidelines is not the way to go. You deserve much better! And- alas something Changed. Something changed. Well, this is just from my standpoint, form reading the lines you've written and not actually seeing (since i do, believe half of what I see and nothing of what I hear) ignoring that belief to help you, is that maybe you may have been too strong on the whole notion of him being perfect. To say, he is the one, I'm very picky and I know what I found and this is it. Okay I understand, but showing it can be very scary to someone else who isn't quite there yet. He was probably on his way there, I mean he definitely had to be if he treated you like his g/f. He was completely comfortable in showing himself attached to someone, hand to hand.
You know what you want? Yah you do. so!
Don't give up. But certainly don't hurt yourself over this guy.
Ease back into this and be his friend. Ask him how he is doing, ask him if everything is okay and help him ease back into things. But hey!! Don't let yourself do all the effort! Try and play the things you did to get him in the first place, some guys get turned off when things are layed before them and show to be too "EASY".
If there is more to help you with in any way I could, I'll be here.
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what are some exercises i can do to get my lower abs in great shape?
You can easily search on a search engine like google for exercises that can help you.
For the lower abs, you can lye down on your back having your head down as well- And simply click your heals together (its very important they stay together) and lift them off the ground, brining them as high to a 90 degree angle to your body. If not that , then simply bend your knees instead.
There are also things you can use at the gym, but for just as home -thats a way to go. Definitely do a search.
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So I went to this dance with a guy friend who I have always kind of had a thing for. But we were going as friends along with the rest of our group. he was really sweet like getting in the car and at dinner like "anything for you ashton" and other things like that. and then at the dance since were all freshmen it was like awkward whose gonna be the guy to get the dancing going and he was the first one to be like "ashton lets dance". he took me by the hands and wrapped them around me and basically never let go for the rest of the night. it was really cute dancing and fun :) just like holding, swaying, grinding, slow dancing the wholee you know.
his friends say they've never seen him act like that and they all think hes really into me, even the guys.
so one of my friends texted him and he said he had a good!!!!!! time with exclamation marks and everything when ever she brought me up and he said he realllllyy wants to get to know me more and hang out more.
I really like him, so idk what to do.. i dont want to lose my touch or him forget about what we had.
- love struck
You can't be scared to move things forward, if you are happy and he is happy then don't make it a stand still, you'll never know-
As for losing your touch. Touch? Is this some kind of power, or sensational feeling you create towards someone? Then you can never lose that as long as you remain yourself. Let whatever "Future" expectations, ideas, theories, hypothesis's, about what you two can be and just be happy for what you two are. Friends? Is this what you "have". I'm sure he will never forget that. A guy never forgets who he has danced with, especially a slow dance. So I say, move forward, but also - don't go on the assumption he likes you the way you do, just because your friends think so, he is a different person of course. With intentions and theories of his own. So if you choose to believe whatever you didn't see, but what your friends saw, that he acted differently when he was with you, than of course! He likes you (to what extent) you have affected him. So continue to grow, continue to do.. whatever it is you do- things will work out, its all in time.
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Response to my Comment: "You clearly didn't read."
I only tried to help. I apologize for whatever I said if it has offended you. Next time I shall put my words into a better understanding and maybe you can help me better understand what I got wrong. Is it that you don't want to move forward with this guy? I saw it as a mere hesitation to the response of the dance, that you saw this to becoming something more and you didn't know what to do..
And hey, if not- its cool.
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okay so i am 14/f
i have this friend who lives far away and he is older...
he has been my best friend since about three years ago.. we did some web dating since i dont see him..but i ended it because it hurt to much..
but now i really like him..more than a friend..
he is always there even though he really isnt there by me. he listens to me and makes me laugh. he calls me cutie, adorable, baby...
we say i love you and i really do love him..
*there are different types of love*
but i really care about him..some people say that distance pulls people together. and i believe it..
but what do i do?
i think i should wait until i am out of school to see him again because my mother doesnt like him because he is older. this is a guy i could truely wait for. he is means soo much to me. he has helped me so much through my trouble. i really love this guy. i kind of always have, now i am admitting it..
all opinions would be a huge help!
So he was your best friend for about 3 years and then he moved away?..or.. did you find him on online and this has been going on for 3 years? I'll go on the assumption that this guy moved and now your relationship can only be over a non-physical ordeal. (telephone, internet,all that jazz)
I must say, personally, no. Age does not matter. People have many different ways for connecting with one another and all that age has to offer, is maturity, responsibility, wisdom, and an extension of life experiences. Just like the one you're going through. So don't worry about your mom, she has her opinion and has her way of looking at things,especially since she is.. your mother-
But, at the age of 14, it does put a gap in things if you say.. this guy is above lets say 20.
14 is very young. I just turned 20. I would say you'll meet A LOT of people and A LOT of guys in your life. Opinions, opinions? yes, there are different types of love. I hope you know which one you fall under.. or better yet- no, don't label it.. it simply is.. just that, a feeling or an understanding between two people-so why worry? But people can be very foolish and blind when it comes to love. Things you don't see, things you may not want to see. Theres no way of explaining or helping you in this matter- its better for you to live through it and learn from it. But to make sure you aren't hurt from it, my advice?
What do you do? It doesn't seem like your having any problems, unless you really want to see him and be really with him- but you already know that answer because its that's simple, be with him. After school? Middle school I'm guessing (And i really hope this guy isn't so much older than you, I don't know him but the typical response is that he has other reasons, but okay BACK TO HAPPY!) then take a trip, maybe with your mom to go visit him and spend some time. And you're saying you always have loved him because well, you can't imagine not being in love with him, maybe you can't remember when you didn't know he existed and therefore didn't love him, he may be the fabricated(less than better word to use here) person you've always had in mind, and maybe you can't imagine being with anyone else. But that's all it is - a perspective. You see it as love. And wALLA , so it is! It's great that he has helped you, and i don't want to pry for more details, so whatever this relationship is, be it love- be happy. DO things for your own self.
OH! umm about waiting. I have gone through this type of huh how shall I say- type of sensation? OR magical idea of waiting.
Sorry- But Do not wait. Or at least, do not have the "Mindset" of waiting. It doesn't do anything. You will only be locking yourself into this position of never growing- for that is impossible. Things will always change. They come and go, no matter how long you wait. And things DO CHANGE. But what are you waiting for? To be with him? you answered that question already, To marry him? That idea must sound magical indeed, because its the idea of locking (thats a harsh word, wow.) The idea of binding, no.. huh being with, thats easier and more flexible. Being with him.
I cannot say anymore, theres just too much more to talk about so i hope whatever this "opinion" has meant, that it has helped in any small way it could. I hope for all the best and you are forever lucky (a fictitious word, that has no validity to it, but i shall use it) to find "love" so early.
Any type is beautiful and you are beautiful for finding it, it makes us all better people for it. Because we are not who loves you, but for who we love. I think thats a quote somewhere.
Be good.
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Ill try to make it as short as possible.
I've always been a hopeless romantic. I'm 17 years old and a few weeks ago i met the perfect guy...or so i thought. he was exactly my type and seemed to be completely into me. he acted so sweet and treated me just like a girlfriend. we went out a few times, and were together in school. everyone was talking about us being together, which i didn't really like because technically he never asked me to be his girlfriend. i was really falling for him and i think it showed, because it was hard to say no whenever he wanted to hang out. and the thing is, i know better. ive had my heart broken before by the same type of charmer and i really tried not putting all my feelings into this new guy. thing is i dont like to play games. i always treat people right and dont believe in hurting someone or making them jealous just to make them want me. i dont do that, and i thought he didnt either because we talked about it. i thought we were the same type of person, but hes a guy...and they lie...
so in the past few days he stopped being so sweet, and showing less interest in me, and just forgetting about me, but then randomly showing up like he cares and giving interest. he became randomly cold and then sweet. I'm really confused and kind of hurt. did he really lose interest or is he playing games? he randomly shows interest and then doesn't, when he was always sweet in the beginning. and i cant say anything because he never actually asked me to be his girlfriend. still he expects me to call him and always let him know what I'm doing. what happened? and if he has moved on y is he still showing interest??? can anyone make sense of this????
I'm a guy.
And I was on that same boat, sailing through that same path. IT was great, people in school - even teachers! thought so, but we never made it official. I never made it official, because I didn't think labels were ever needed, we just.. were. But from my mistake- i've learned its better to have things open and clear, rather than bottled and foggy. I never liked to play those games either, it's so stupid to make someone deliberately jealous. So if that's the way it came off- you must know, he does it for you. Not to hurt you, but to make him appear more wanting, espcially if he knows you seen him so maybe he thinks you were losing interest. I don't know. Plain and simple I cannot even begin to fathom the understanding of what you're going through. Only through experience-.But never.. never never think you did anything wrong. Things just happen. Have you asked him if something happened? You deserve to know because don't just go on the assumption that his reasons are justified alone. You must hate making things serious, but sometimes it's needed. That was another mistake I let go. And it is a game. Relationships , for the very word- is a game. We are merely players in this world, and I think you have to accept that. If you ever meet a guy who doesn't play- he won't be interesting. So, play the game, but don't let yourself get hurt, don't show him your moves on the first play. And yes, never ever tell someone you like them till you are positive. So besides the advice already given which was GReat. But I don't think being physical early (when is early?) is a bad thing, it just means you feel more comfortable. It's tricky since there are so many ways to look at it. If you are only putting on a mask to show you don't care for him -but really you do, than you're only fooling yourself, really. Don't pretend he doesn't exist, thats just consciously putting effort into something that you're showing to be important. So if he talks to you, just be yourself, maybe not as you used to be with him (flirting intended)) but as you are with other people. Well , if he acts cold. Be warmer, nothing is more worse when two people are cold to one another just because that person is cold to them, you never know who started it and you will just be chipping the ice even deeper. Question yourself "why".. really. WHY DO you like him?! i'm sure you'll find the answer easy. he may still like you and is just playing hard to get or maybe he's afraid of the relationships capability. Have you been doing the same thing, maybe its different through his eyes.
i hope this helped and im sorry for my incoherent sentences.
I try.
Best of luck! and i'll be awaiting any responses.
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18 years old, female
im sorry this is really long but i would absolutely love it if you could help me im hopeless and heartbroken. i'll give a 5 to someone who answers cuz i appreciate you taking the time!
i have been totally head over heals for my best friend, BUT he has a girlfriend of a very very long time. (2 and a half years) we use to be so close, flirt ALL the time. we never kissed or did anything. i just can't get over him. i feel like when i dont talk to him a part of me is missing. i am never truly happy because i know he is with her, and loves her. i can't take it anymore. i go months without talking to him, and as much as i just want to text him saying, "i miss you.." i would be afraid of the possibilty he wouldn't say anything back. he is always with his girlfriend which is annoying. i feel like he left all his friends for his girlfriend. i even told him this, that things between us and our friendship will never be the same for as long as he goes out with her. he said things would change but they dont. last time i saw him, he said that he missed me, he missed our friendship, he wondered what happened to us and why we're not so close anymore. sometimes i just want to go off on him but it's a kind of thing where as much as i hate him, i LOVE him so much. i love when we spend time together, i love talking to him, heck i feel like i want to become sexual with him (i know sounds silly, but im still a virgin, not a slut) i just have the strongest feelings for him and all the other guys dont compare. i tried, but it's not the same. i feel like i could wait forever because he is the only one im happy with. when i write this, many will think he probably seems like a bad friend to me but he really makes me the happiest girl ever when i hear his voice, when i see him i get butterflies..
i just dont know what to do. im SO lost right now and feel so alone. i cry at night because i miss my best friend and i wish he could be mine. i wish on every 11:11. my family and friends absolutely love him and want me to go out with him, if only it weren't for his girlfriend. trust me i tried telling him how i feel, how i feel like he doesn't care anymore, how we've drifted since he went out with his girlfriend and he ALWAYS says he misses me and when i see him, a few days after he will text me. one night he even texted me and said, goodnight i love you i was like awww [: and i say it back but then a few days after we wont talk and he wont text me and im the kind of girl that if you dont text me first, i wont text your FIRST. i've always been like that, always will be and he knows that.
any suggestions. i dont want him out of my life, we've been friends for about 4 years now and i can't let all the good memories go, he is or WAS my best friend.
I actually just registered just to "answer" this question.
The advices already made are exactly what anyone else would and can tell you. This is a tricky situation. Give it time. Time. This is such a tricky concept because then you feel it becomes WASTED time.
The thing is -
I am personally going through something like this, it may even be deeper but I cannot say because we are in fact different people. I just turned 20 if that helps our situations become closer. I won't tell you my story - because this is about you.
Something has left right, You can't explain it, its like he was your other half and without him, things seem a little duller, a little grayer in between the lines. If I'm wrong, I must apologize and I must be direct.
You can't go searching for happiness, happiness finds you. It's the expectations, don't have them!. I know that he has possibly in less than better words - set the standard for you. But you have to be better on yourself - stay away from unskillful thoughts (bad thoughts that put you down) and.. HUh, this sucks - who am I to give advice. Its very..very very very very hard. I know.
IF you stay away from him, you think he'll forget you? That your the only one thinking of those memories. But stay away from the past, it cannot tell you anything. I know its easy and may even feel good. heh good - to think of the past cause it hurts, but Trust me. It doesn't do anything but keep you in this endless loop. I would really love to keep tlaking to you. but I have to go to school now. I'll post lateR unless whatever i've said does or doesn't help. Let me know.
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