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he wants to...but doesnt!
i need to know if he likes me or is using me or what!?
i met this guy three weeks ago. hes perfect for me in every way and im a VERY picky girl. we were obsessed with eachother for the first few days. we went out, we kissed, we tried seeing eachother whenever we could, he was the sweetest. i thought we were about to go out. everyone in school was talking about it. we were perfect. i was waiting for him to ask me out...
he never did. the week after we made it clear we liked eachother and went out, he treated me like his girlfriend in front of people. we spent time together everyday because we were doing the same activity afterschool. hes a very flirty/friendly guy and always has girls flirting with him, which didnt bother me because we werent official and im not the jealous type. but other people thought we were going out so whenever he was with other girls, people looked at me like wtf? i think he thought i was jealous though cuz of all the people. anyway it didnt seem to matter to him, but then its three weeks later he still hasnt ask me out and hes different. like i was really starting to fall for him we are so perfect together...i dont get why he hasnt asked me out. im so confused, and now hes not as sweet, and doesnt txt me as often, doesnt call like he used to, and i think all the people got to his head or something. and we had a small argument when we were both in a bad mood and since then its not the same...hes cold and distant at times, especially around others, but then he still acts interested other times. during these few weeks we kissed and got close, and I'm starting to think he just maybe used me, but then y is he still showing interest? he calls and pays attention to me when he feels like it. and another thing, he said all the right things and i really started falling for him so now it really hurts that hes so different...i really don't understand what happened? why didn't he ask me out, it looked like he really wanted to! if he just wanted to use me he wouldn't have treated me like his girlfriend in school! what changed? i really need advice on this!!! should i try and forget about him?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
He's never going to ask you out, sorry.
But you should still give me a five because if you give a five to five people that's clever and shit.
Oh yea, you should ask him out. That too.
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You're welcome.
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i think that YOU should ask HIM out.
what the worst he can do? say no? big deal. like they say theres plenty more fish in the sea.
i know its not a whole lot to work with but i really hope i helped =]
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Try talking to him about it. In stead of just sitting her and wondering what might have happened. He may not straight up tell you whats up, but you can at least get an idea by what he says and his body language. Overall dont stress over a boys, if he really cares he will find a way to work it out.
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Cupcake gave very good possibilities, through his perspective - it is likely that he may be "confused" or just, indecisive as to where he wants to lead the relationship. Maybe he does not see the use in labeling the two of you as b/f and g/f because there isn't a need to do so. Is he happy? or was he happy with you and then suddenly something happened, perhaps he felt pressured? I am afraid I may be getting this all wrong, for that I apologize. I only try to see things both ways, anyways -It may make him feel freer and less trapped to just have it what it is.
But, thats not very fair to you, is it? It makes a confusion and fuss out of things. Putting things out of order,to say. So walla, you are confused-
And yes, that is quite a predicament. To have him think you are jealous just because other people to look at you and suspect so. So you should make that clear to him you are not the jealous type. How? You cannot tell him "I'm not jealous" because people tend to believe more what they see then what they hear. You cannot fight fire with fire either in this circumstance because that will only fuel the flames so don't flirt with others in front of him to have him watch, instead - show that you are okay with it (if you truly are) by smiling and SHOWING you are happy that he is happy talking to other girls, you don't care right, you are not affected so much by others, you will smile- maybe even poke him in the butt and walk out of the door while he's in the middle of a conversation. Things like that will say "Hey, i'm here if you want to talk to me, but please continue, i won't get in the way"
Hmm, what you said about him kissing you and things being close, is that when people aren't around and then he's cold when are- then he is simply using you. I'm sorry, but::Allowing other people to see that he isn't taken and he is still open for them while you wait on the sidelines is not the way to go. You deserve much better! And- alas something Changed. Something changed. Well, this is just from my standpoint, form reading the lines you've written and not actually seeing (since i do, believe half of what I see and nothing of what I hear) ignoring that belief to help you, is that maybe you may have been too strong on the whole notion of him being perfect. To say, he is the one, I'm very picky and I know what I found and this is it. Okay I understand, but showing it can be very scary to someone else who isn't quite there yet. He was probably on his way there, I mean he definitely had to be if he treated you like his g/f. He was completely comfortable in showing himself attached to someone, hand to hand.
You know what you want? Yah you do. so!
Don't give up. But certainly don't hurt yourself over this guy.
Ease back into this and be his friend. Ask him how he is doing, ask him if everything is okay and help him ease back into things. But hey!! Don't let yourself do all the effort! Try and play the things you did to get him in the first place, some guys get turned off when things are layed before them and show to be too "EASY".
If there is more to help you with in any way I could, I'll be here.
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The only thing i can think of of why he is acting this way is either because he is a player and just wants to have spontaneous girls every now and then. You may not think that he would be the type to do this, but guys can be very tricky and do this all the time. Another reason he could be doing this is because he wanted to really figured out if he liked you or he may have someone else in mind to and he was seeing which one he liked better. Since he hasn't picked anyone, maybe he has decided he dosen't want a girlfriend right now. I'm not really sure what type of guy he is, i'm just guessing some of the possibilities that could have happened. Hope this helps!
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