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i feel like a part of me is lost..
18 years old, female
im sorry this is really long but i would absolutely love it if you could help me im hopeless and heartbroken. i'll give a 5 to someone who answers cuz i appreciate you taking the time!
i have been totally head over heals for my best friend, BUT he has a girlfriend of a very very long time. (2 and a half years) we use to be so close, flirt ALL the time. we never kissed or did anything. i just can't get over him. i feel like when i dont talk to him a part of me is missing. i am never truly happy because i know he is with her, and loves her. i can't take it anymore. i go months without talking to him, and as much as i just want to text him saying, "i miss you.." i would be afraid of the possibilty he wouldn't say anything back. he is always with his girlfriend which is annoying. i feel like he left all his friends for his girlfriend. i even told him this, that things between us and our friendship will never be the same for as long as he goes out with her. he said things would change but they dont. last time i saw him, he said that he missed me, he missed our friendship, he wondered what happened to us and why we're not so close anymore. sometimes i just want to go off on him but it's a kind of thing where as much as i hate him, i LOVE him so much. i love when we spend time together, i love talking to him, heck i feel like i want to become sexual with him (i know sounds silly, but im still a virgin, not a slut) i just have the strongest feelings for him and all the other guys dont compare. i tried, but it's not the same. i feel like i could wait forever because he is the only one im happy with. when i write this, many will think he probably seems like a bad friend to me but he really makes me the happiest girl ever when i hear his voice, when i see him i get butterflies..
i just dont know what to do. im SO lost right now and feel so alone. i cry at night because i miss my best friend and i wish he could be mine. i wish on every 11:11. my family and friends absolutely love him and want me to go out with him, if only it weren't for his girlfriend. trust me i tried telling him how i feel, how i feel like he doesn't care anymore, how we've drifted since he went out with his girlfriend and he ALWAYS says he misses me and when i see him, a few days after he will text me. one night he even texted me and said, goodnight i love you i was like awww [: and i say it back but then a few days after we wont talk and he wont text me and im the kind of girl that if you dont text me first, i wont text your FIRST. i've always been like that, always will be and he knows that.
any suggestions. i dont want him out of my life, we've been friends for about 4 years now and i can't let all the good memories go, he is or WAS my best friend.
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I actually just registered just to "answer" this question.
The advices already made are exactly what anyone else would and can tell you. This is a tricky situation. Give it time. Time. This is such a tricky concept because then you feel it becomes WASTED time.
The thing is -
I am personally going through something like this, it may even be deeper but I cannot say because we are in fact different people. I just turned 20 if that helps our situations become closer. I won't tell you my story - because this is about you.
Something has left right, You can't explain it, its like he was your other half and without him, things seem a little duller, a little grayer in between the lines. If I'm wrong, I must apologize and I must be direct.
You can't go searching for happiness, happiness finds you. It's the expectations, don't have them!. I know that he has possibly in less than better words - set the standard for you. But you have to be better on yourself - stay away from unskillful thoughts (bad thoughts that put you down) and.. HUh, this sucks - who am I to give advice. Its very..very very very very hard. I know.
IF you stay away from him, you think he'll forget you? That your the only one thinking of those memories. But stay away from the past, it cannot tell you anything. I know its easy and may even feel good. heh good - to think of the past cause it hurts, but Trust me. It doesn't do anything but keep you in this endless loop. I would really love to keep tlaking to you. but I have to go to school now. I'll post lateR unless whatever i've said does or doesn't help. Let me know.
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ok this is going to be hard but there is really only one thing you can do. Stay in his life as much as possibly, make sure he knows you will always be there. Never ever tell him anything bad about his gf because it really is none of your business and if you do he will more than likely turn away from you.
Considering your age there is a big possibility that they will break up (if they aren't meant to be with each other)because of changes and college and stuff.
I know how you feel. When this happened to me the guy and girl weren't dating very long but I know how bad it hurts to think about someone so much and not have him. I believe that you having this feeling is the real thing and if you are meant to be together he will sooner or later realize it.
There is another thing you could do. Tell him you like him, tell him you will wait but if its too long you might not be there for him when he realizes it. I did that but like I said my guy didn't have nearly as much invested in his relationship!
I really hope that it works out and have strength...it will work out one way or another!
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Hi,
I can sympathize with your situation. We've all been in the position where we like someone who is with someone else. He's been with her for a long time and obviously he loves her. Friendships tend to fall by the wayside when the friend gets romantically involved with someone.
If the two of you have been friends for so long, I think if the two of you were meant to be anything other than friends it would have happened by now.
I know that's hard to hear, but you have to be realistic right now. All you can do is wish him the best. You have to be happy for him. That's what friends do for each other. You can't be upset with his girlfriend because he chose to be with her.
You're going to have to find a way to get over him. I know this is hard. Why don't you take some time and just be away from him for a while. Before you go over your friends house, ask if she see's his girlfriends' car. If she does, find something else to do. You need to heal. Like you said, he loves her. I'm sorry. I hope I helped.
Keep me informed. I hope you eventually find someone who can return your love.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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