I'd appreciate some direct ways to say something to my bf of over a year.
we'd been talking and he needed a float loan of $800 for a few days to help with a mortgage approval. that is ok. but when he called about it, i mentioned the fact that one of my friends saw his updated ad on match.com, that it hurt my feelings, he knows it hurts my feelings, i care about him a great deal, and i thought we were over and done with that BS months ago. His reply was... can we talk later? can I call you later? I said 'are you gonna call me later?' and he said yes. I said ok and we hung up. I know his style and he'll probably test the waters in a few days and then never mention it again.
Guys... just help me say no more, clearly in a way that he doesn't just shut down. Thanks.
ps... me f/39 and him m/35
I went through this with the guy I love ... I would just confront him about it ... at least it worked for me, I had to break up with him but if you still want to talk to him let him know your always there for him if he needs to talk ... that way he wont shut down and think the world is over ...Just be as best a friend as you can be even if it hurts at least he wont break down and do anything stupid, thats what I did with my guy and we still talk everyday on the phone and online and everything although it is a bit weird at times ... you'll get through it .. good luck and remember you deserve better
- Malicious
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i was out the other day and met my sisters mates who were drunke.ive always kinda nown that my sister is gay but i thought it was just a phase. they lat it slip that she was gay and she had a girlfriend.i havent talked about it to my sister yet and was wondering if anyone has been in my situation and what did they do.im not ashamed by it but im just shocked,do u think its still a phase? please get back to me soon. xx
My sisters gay ... it was quite a shock for me when she told me about 6 years ago. I was 9 at the time so that was quite shocking. She still is gay and I'm sure its not a phase. Well I was the first person my sister told I didn't have a problem with it but it was a bit weird for a little while, after all I was only 9 she was 12. And I had to sleep in the same bed as her cuase she lives with my mom. But not to get into that, just talk to your sister about it I'm sure she would explain anything you had to ask her.
-Malicious
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well lately my friend has totally been flirting with my boyfriend.She knows she does it but she just shrugs it off.I hate it!!like we will be walking in the halls together and she will come right between us and rather close to him i might add.i dont wanna ruin our friendship, but me and this guy really love each other.we've been together through thick and thin.Please help me and i hope this wasn't to long.
No it wasn't long at all don't worry. I would sit your friend down, alone, and tell her that she needs to stop. She might take this badly but to have less of a chance of her getting mad say something like "(your friends name) it makes me feel ucomfortable when you come between me and (your boy friends name). I just wanted to ask if you can lighten up a bit on the physical (a very important thing to say, phsyical) closness." Make your voice calm and forgiving sounding so that she doesn't go on the defense and start yelling. Let her know your not mad at her (even if you are) that way she wont stop being your friend since you enjoy being friends with her.
-Malicious
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couple of nights ago i had sex with one of my best friends we were really into the moment and we did it without a condom i pulled out way before i came and she orgasmed and the next mornin she started her period. i know im prolly being paranoid but i always hear theres a chance of a girl being pregnant even if the guy didnt cum so if anyone knows how high the chance of her being pregnant is please tell me thank you.
No need to worry. She has her period therefore she can't have a baby. Your lucky becuase that was a very close call even if you didn't cum becuase (sorry if this next part sounds gross) theres always left over cum on the guys penis from the last time they had sex or masterbated. Hope all goes well.
-Malicious
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I really love this girl i am talking to i mean i lvoe to talk to her and be with her as much as possible, i am 17 and turn 18 in about 4 months we are talkin about movin in together do you think that is a good idea she is already 18
You love her right? So why shouldn't you move in together? You seem to care for her alot and I think you should move in together as soon as you turn 18. Don't let anyone elses opinions sway your love for her, move in your in love. I hope it goes well. Good luck.
-Malicious
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Ok so me and my friend ill call her *Kaia* last year in 7th grade we were in all the same classes. and we sorta grew away from each other in a way. but this year in 8th grade me and *kaia* only have 1 class together and it seems as if we are actually becoming closer...since we dont see each other as much. and we can talk about anything now..and last year we couldnt talk to each other about a lot of stuff. Is it possible that since we arent seeing each other we are actually growing closer? and also could it be because we like each other for who we are..not for what we dress like? thanks for your help! Ill rate you if i like your answer!
Thats how it is with me and my best friend. We used to see each other so much we grew apart then I moved away for two years and came back now we spend almost every waking moment together. I believe you guys were kind of getting sick of each other so that made you grow a bit apart but now that you are not always together its easier for you to not get annoyed by that person. I don't believe how you dress has anything to do with it.
-Malicious
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Hmm... Where to start. Ok, so I've been going out with this girl for a couple of months and it's been amazing. Some of the best months of my life. And I have this friend that I think has a crush on her. He will always play with her hair and like give her little nicknames, and that stuff of the sort. Also, her one friend keeps asking me how much I like her and stuff like that. It is just kinda suspicious. What do you think, should I worry or what?
Coming from a girl my boyfriend feels the same about my friend Max. I wouldn't break up with her. She's still into you, just trust her. If she really wants to be with you, which I'm sure she does, she won't do anything with your friend. And tell your friend that he needs to back off of the pet names and touchy feely things becuase shes not his girl. But say it nicely that way you dont have some soap opera thing going on. I know its hard in this situation but just wait a little while, the answer will reveal itself ... (wow fortune cookie moment lol) ... But I would advise you talking to your friend to let him know how it feels when he does this. If your girl has treated you amzingly for the past couple of months I don't think she would cheat on you now. I hope my advice helps. Any questions look in my advice collum for my instant messengers
-Malicious
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My mother and I rarely talk and I'm losing people in my life to talk to . I lost the best of friend and I can't truly converse with a lot lot of guy friends of mine. Some , no a lot of girls don't lik me . I don't know why. I feel complacent about that and me but why do they have to hold stupid whatever against me. I don't even know if it's something I did: which isn't much at all.My dad's going to be gone for 2-4 month's; I have no one to truly talk to . All these teachers are giving us projects at once and I'm so unbalanced and stressedand unmotivated . Our school is messed up when it comes to this . A guy who is arrogant that I am getting over and I don't know and don't care what he feels I just want to know why he cares so much of popularity.Another guy I am fallin' for is nice and cute and in a way I feel comfrotable around him but I'm restricting myself so I won't be the only one in love. I fear what it makes you go through and I kind of know what it makes you go through . I just feel like everything is against me and I really need help . I need advice on how to deal with all of this .
Wow you have a lot on your plate ... I'm going to take this in steps so thats its easier for me to answer ....
First:
I understand you and your mother rarely talk. I am the same way with mine. But if it bothers you, you need to let her know so that you can spend more time with her.
Second:
School friendships are annoyingly complicated. The girls who don't like you are most likely jealous of you. I'm serious, I know alot of girls when asked why they don't like someone they say its becuase they're jealous or something along those lines where jealousy is the root of the problem. When you are a girl guys are harder to talk to. You just need to find that one guy friend who you can get close to and know they wont stab you in the back. Seeing as how guys are not girls they can ussually sort through the thoughts of girl fights and what not in their head easier then us girls can.
As for the guy you like I suggest letting yourself love. Don't hold back jsut becuase you don't want to be different. Let it all out and get to know the guy. By your question I can tell you care alot about things and there fore he deserves someone like you who will care about him. Get to know him more then let him know when your ready.
-Malicious
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Ok, about a month ago I noticed a small lump around my crotch.. I have just noticed it getting bigger.. Its about 5mm long, and 2mm high.. what do you think it is? could it possibly be cancer? if so.. what sort?
17/m
It might not be it could be an STI which isn't that much better. You should go see the doctor to get it examined that way you know exactly what it is and can get it treated. If it is cancer then you hopefully can get it all out and if its an STI then I'm sure there is a cure for it. If you let it go any longer though it might get worse. I hope my advice helps and I send major good luck.
-Malicious
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ok long story short>>>i got caught shopliftin.....(my friends had nothin to do wit it)......**dont tell me anythin about the shopliftin like its bad or anythin bc i undastand everythin that happened**....but my friends mom is pissed at her bc she is the one i was stealin shit 4....but i still dont want her to take anypart of it ....and im only aloud over her house if i talk to her parents but how would i start up a convo wit her parents?
if you dont mention anything about shopliftin is bad or anythin like that ill rate high...thanx
Okay to talk to your friends parents you should do it in person and without your friend there. be like "(What ever your call them) your daughter had nothing to do with the shop lifting. You should not blame her or be mad at her she isn't the one who walked out of the store with the items, I am. She isn't the one who decided to do it, (I'm guessing she didn't want to) she didn't even want to do it. I just wanted to give her the stuff so I stole it. Don't be mad at her she didn't force me to do it. Be mad at me but not her." Something along those lines, just make it clear that you did it and not her. That way even though they most likely will blame you for everything it takes the heat off of your friend especially since she didn't do it. Just explain to them the situation and that she didn't do it. Let them know you wont do it again. Just basically apologize, I really hope this helps.
-Malicious
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I have a seriously anger problem and I can't control. Like earlier i was arguing with my cousin and he just gave me a wrong look so I flipped the dinin room table on him and i seriously could kill him. I don't want to go to anger management because its doesn't work. Seriously the littest things piss me off and I mean serious I can kill what can id o?
Instead of anger management I would suggest therapy, not group. I'm not saying your messed up cuase trust me my two best friends go. Even I go becuase I have anger issues too. Although I go to group but thats becuase I've been working on my anger for a while. This site also helps me becuase I try to relax so I don't lash out at people, you never know what your words can do to a person. I know this may sound stupid and as if a million people have told you but take deep breaths and warn the person to get out of your site that way you wont accidently hurt them. Then count backwards from 10 to 1 and sit for a while quiet and not talk to anyone. Thats what helped me.
-Malicious
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Hey! Ok, I have to give a speech in 2 weeks about the Great Wall of China. We're studying China and you got a list of things you could make your speech about and I picked the Great Wall. You were allowed to have a partner, but only one of my friends is in my class, and she's friends with another girl, so they're partners. I have to give a speech by myself, and I'm so terrified. I've never liked speeches. It's so hard and I always forget what I'm supposed to say, even if I've rehearsed it a thousand times! And to make things worse, it has to be a MINIMUM of 5 minutes. I'm so scared and don't know what to do. Does anyone have any tips on not being scared? And any good ways to memorize a good speech? And also, any good sites about the Great Wall would be appreciated. Thanks so much!
I have this same problem. Heres what I do ... The day before I relax and keep my mind off the speech as much as possible so that I dont get to stressed out. I ussually wake up and run to a book to check a fact but just a nice day by yourself no buddy bothering you and not thinking about the great wall would be good for your stress level. Lowering your stress level will increase the easiness of memorizing the speech. Also make a few flash cards, not of every word that way you wont read from them but just of a guide line. Even doing all that I still get really neervous during a speech so I ussually have a stone of some kind (ussually hemetite for grounding and calming) in my pocket and i hold on to it and twirl it between my fingers as I talk. Also don't rush your speech that way you make the 5 minute mark. If you fear looking the people in the eyes it helps to look just above their heads so that it looks like your looking at them but your really not. Just make sure you dont look to far above so it wont look like your staring into space. I hope it helped.
-Malicious
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my ex-boyfriend broke up with me and stared ignoring me.Now he found out me and his brother are going out and he is trying to break us up even though he said he didnt want me anymore what is his deal? help me please i still kinda like him.
Guys have a territorial issue. Even thoguh you two are not dating he most likly feels that his brother is stepping into his territory. Although you technically are not. I would tell your ex to realise he dumped you, which hurt I assume. And that you are free to date the people you want to date even his brother, your not under his control. Before you say anything to your ex or to your current boyfriend I suggest going out for a day alone to think about what your real feelings are so that you know your not mixing them up. That way you don't break up with your current boyfriend just for his brother and also so that you know exactly what you want to say to your ex. I hope it helps ... Message me if you would like or email me let me know how it goes.
-Malicious
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What do you guys think of a 18-year-old(f) dating a 24-year-old(m). And don't give any of that "age doesn't matter crap" bcasue it does. What do yall think of the maturity levels?
The biggest problem I see... The 18-year-old is still a freshman in college and the 24-year-old graduated 2 years ago.
I see the same problem. I'm not sure if your the male or the female but who evers in college is really young to be dating a 24 year old. There is different maturity levels however, a 24 year old male has the same maturity as a 19 year old female. Thats a proven fact so I hope not to insult if your the guy. I still believe however thats a big age difference, 5 years at this young in your life. I could understand 3 years difference when your a 'young' adult. However 5 years is stretching it abit. If you really like this person though I would jsut contimplate it a bit longer then decide. I don't want to make your decision for you but I wouldn't do it. Hope it helps!
-Malicious
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i think i have social anxiety. i have loads of the symptoms from this site i went on, like i'm scared to be anxious, and also when a teacher tells us we can ask for help, i can't, incase anyone is watching or listening and i might make myself look stupid, or something. but the thing is, my mum doesn't believe me, i broke down in tears in the car today and i said i probably have social anxiety (i'm scared because i have to do work experience, i've been placed in an estate agent and i don't want to BE an estate agent). she thinks i'm just shy, but the thing is, on this site it says people will often say you are just shy, but it's worse than that, i do want to be all social but i get scared i'll make a fool out of myself. what can i do about it, cos it's affecting my education and i don't have a social life =( thanks xo
My best friend has this same issue. What I'm about to suggest might sound like I'm putting you down but please don't take it that way. My best friend goes to therapy for it and it has helped her. Although she has just started almost a month ago she goes to group therapy and it really helps her. It also helps to find someone really out going and just to hang around them, thats what she does with me since I'm a loud mouth. It brings out her loud side or at least gets her more comfortable with the surrounding people since I'm making an ass out of myself it takes the whole spot light off her. So I would suggest therapy and or getting close to a loud mouth who makes an ass out of themselves in public ;) ... I hope it helps and again I hope you don't take the therapy thing the wrong way. Good luck and message me sometime if you like.
-Malicious
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i have always been the girl to get her period REALLY heavy, like changing a super tampon every 2 hours and ive always been on schedual to the day! but this time i was 2 WEEKS late AND i cant even fill the littlest tampon. is this normal? please dont reply by saying its disgusting b/c i really need help! i rate good advice!
Awww I would go to the doctors. I know it might be embarassing but it could sort it out. Even though its the first time this happened I would still see a specialist. That way you will know if theres something wrong with your body or if it was just a skip in the cycle of life. If you don't want to see a doctor alone have your best friend come with you or a parent or someone really close. That way it wont be as difficult for you and you'll have support. I really hope my advice helped. Good luck I hope nothigns the matter.
-Malicious
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f/19
My bf and I have been dating for about a month now and he recently told me that he thinks hes in love with me. I'm kind of turned off by that because its so soon. He keeps asking me how I feel and I told him I'm not sure, I'm not in love with him, what should I do.
Just tell him you need more time to think. He should understand that if he really loves you. Some people fall in love quicker then others. Some people also take a while to fall in love. Let him know you still care about him but that you'll tell him you love him when the time is right, becuase you don't want to say it and not mean it. He should understand. I hope it helps if not you can always get my information from my advice column and i/m me or email me with a question.
-Malicious
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Ok, so I'm 18, f and I live in the boarding school in India. There's a guy in my class who I've knon for about a year now, he was my cousin's friend before I joined this school and now he's my class mate. I joined school in August 2004 and Ihad been mailing and chatting with him since May 2004. On the net he was the sweetest guy ever, and he was there for me when I needed him and he made me laugh and he was an amazing guy, and I fell in love with him, with who he was online. But then when I finally got to school hewould ignore me and just say hi/bye whereas just a month ago we were practically best friends. Nevertheless, my heart refused to forget the guy he was online and I fell even deeper in love with him. And so, I did somethings which ended up in me making a fool of myself and getting very hurt and him finding out. School broke upin December and when I logged back online, there he was, the guy I originally fell in love with. ANd it was just as if nothing had happened in between and we sort of picked it up in between, but this time, before going bacl to school I told him that I had stopped liking him and I had a bf, which was not true. But because of this lie, our relationship at school has become considerably better and we talk occaisonally now. The thing is, he likes this other girl who doesn't like him back and it kills me to see them together (they're friends) and I hate it, I just want to know if there's anything I can do to get him, I'm crazy about him!!!!
I know just how you feel. Its hard to know the person online is different then the real life thing. Its even harder to see them liking someone who will end up breaking their heart in the long run. I would tell him, in person even though it will be extremly hard, tell him that you don't have a boy friend and never did. If he asks why you lied to him, which he probally will, just tell him you were confused at why he was acting different.Tell him that you honestly just wanted him to be the guy he is online. You don't have to tell him you love him or even like him for that matter. Just let him know your not dating someone and that you miss him being who he is online. I wouldn't go right into the thing about the other girl though becuase that might make him pull farther away. Call him up sometimes to see if he wants to hang out just you and him but not as a date make sure he knows its not a date. He could just be scared about knowing you so well and he might not be sure how to talk to you becuase of this. Ask him why he's different but don't make it sound bitchy that way he wont feel threatened and he will hopefully tell you the truth without yelling it. I wish you alot of luck all the things I've said here have worked for me I hope they work for you.
-Malicious
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ok i have this friend and well he rlly wants to loose his virginity cause he feels weird at his age...(peer presure) and so he asked me if i would do it with him...im scared of wht ppl wouldthink (ive alraeady lost mine)...but i dnt wanna sound like a slut or anything
pleasee help me!! thnks!!
Alot of people go through this similar problem. I would listen to your heart on this one. If you honestly feel something for him thats more then just a crush then go ahead, but you shouldn't do it just so he won't feel weird. If you don't go ahead with it then just let him know your just friends, and that you hope your not doing anything with him doesnt change your friendship.
-Malicious
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When my b/f puts his arm around my shoulder is it beeter to put my arm around his shoulder or waist
Put your arm around his waist lightly but not forcfully ... Its more comfortable first of all and second of all it would look weird if you walked around arms around each others shoulders. That makes you look just like friends and not boyrfirend and girl friend.
-Malicious
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