GirlOfEmotions's advice column

askGirlOfEmotions

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: how do i tell a girl who i lost feelings for that i want to break up with her when she is still crazy for me?

Ask if you guys can talk.
Have it be silent for a short time so she can get the vibe that something is wrong.

Then you can say something like this:

I don't think it's right for me to be with you.

her possible response: Why?

I don't think I like you as much as you like me. And it isn't right for me to stay with you and lead you on, and hurt you later on.

There isn't really a nice way to break up. Even saying "We can still be friends" hurts. But things have to happen.

Q: i have nooo privacy in my house!!!

if i keep my door closed and even put a "do not disturb, or do not enter" sign on my door.. people will just walk in. they don't even knock or anything!
they just barge in.. and i ALWAYS knock before walking in a room. aghh
i have my friend over now and my dad just walked in when we were dancing around. it just annoys me so much!

how can i get more privacy in my house?

You should get a lock on your door. That way when someone tries barging in; THEY CAN'T. amazing isn't it? Hope it works out.

Q: well in my partcial day class thing, theres this girl, her names tracy.. and like personaly the first time i saw her i thought she was a guy, like alot of my friends also said that too when they first saw her, but i when i first saw her i thought she was hott, cause i really thought she was a guy, but now that i know shes a girl im still attracted to her, and i dont get it. why?! does that mean im like bisexual or something ? because like.. i think i like her ? and its kind of odd.. someone please help ?

You liked her because you thought she was a guy. so that's different. And the fact that she really LOOKS like a guy, attracted you. if she looked like a girl, do you think you would have been attracted to her? You're not bi/lesbian from what i can see.

Q: my cousin is only 13 and she doesnt have her period and she got a tampon from her brothers gf
and she wore it .
is anything going to happen to her
cuz she was freaking out but im scared for her cuz she isnt used to this feeling !

HELP !!!!!

well first off; you're not supposed to put a tampon on when you're not currently menstrual. It WILL feel uncomfortable if she has a tampon on when shes not on her period. I got my period when i was 14; towards the end of 8th grade. She'll get it soon.

Q: 14/f
this is probably going to be long.

ok so i met my best friend gab when i was 6. This past summer, she met some new people and became good friends with them. Best friends with 2 of them actually, even though i was supposedly still first. They hung out every day and spent so much time together that i felt left out and depressed. Now Gab has never been in a relationship, neither had andrea [one of the girls she became best friends with]. This past week while I was on vacation, Andrea got a boyfriend. I came back today and Gab immediately told me what happened, and details and everything. She says shes not sure if she and andrea will be very close much longer because of this. When she told me this, I felt a tiny bit of joy deep down because that means that I'll have her to myself again, in a sense. I don't know if I should feel guilty for feeling a bit happy though...because gab did pretty much ignore me because of andrea for like 5 or 6 months. So if you made it this far without getting confused, could you help me out?
Thanks

Well, you can't really fake your support for her when you're really happy that she's on the miserable side. Just tell her that you'll always be there for her if her other friends aren't. She should get a sense that you miss her. If she doesn't, then just say it: I miss us hanging out. it doesn't hurt right? give it a try.

Q: A few days ago I had a hard fall outside. I was wearing shorts and now I have some bad cuts/scrapes and wounds on my shin. They're not bad enough I have to go to the hospital or anything. But they're really ugly and now I can't wear skirts/shorts because it looks icky. What things can I do to make it heal really fast? Anything in particular?

Other alternatives are wearing leggings under your skirts to hide the cuts, so you're pretty much on the safe side since leggings are in now-a-days. but if you choose not to wear leggings, the only way for them to heal is 'time.' i know that sounds, well, boring. but its the truth. keep it away from dirty things and never touch it if your hands aren't clean.

Q: my friend, ( 18/f ) is a lesbian. me, ( 15/f )i am straight. she went out with my sister but they both cheated on each other. i talk to my lesbian friend alot of my sister.thats basically all we talk about but thats fine. my friend is still in love with her and all. but shes always calling me and talking to me about her problems and everything. i think mabye she likes me. how do i tell. she said there are only a few people she will ever listen too and im one of them. idk mabye were just good friends but how am i supposed to know if she likes me?

Well if you continue talking to your lesbian friend, she might get the idea that you have feelings for her. The best way to avoid her from getting near you is to give her a single, SOLID advice that she can live on and take it from there, because you can't keep saying the same thing to her to make her feel better for only a short period of time. Or if you prefer to be straight forward with her without question, you can bluntly ask her "Do you have feelings for me?" The question might scare her but you can always clarify that you just want to make sure so things won't be awkward. Hope things work out.

Q: what age can kids start to babysit other kids?

People say thirteen because that's the turning point for maturity, but i guess kids in OUR generation are much more lazier and have lack of responsibility than they did back then; when even 10 year olds believed that changing diapers at their age was normal. but over the age of 13 is an acceptable age to start babysitting.

Q: So I've dyed my hair a lot over the years. I've stopped for a while. I got a perm to make my hair curly. It's gone now but has left my hair thick and poofy/frizzy. And then i bleached my hair. [dark dark brown to dirty blonde] my hair was fried.. but i treated it and got a haircut..

And I'm wondering if there's anything I could use to make the poofyness go down, to make my hair healthier and grow faster?

Any shampoos, sprays, etc that actually work?

I've used sprays that were "non friz".. but my hair dried with hard pieces of hair against the poofyness.

i answered a question like this before. i highly recommend "biosilk." that products comes in the form of shampoo/conditioner, or just "hair lotion" to make the hair smooth. you can find this in target/walmart, those kinda stores. hope i helped (;

Q: Alright.. I really like guy1 I mean really.. he is like my best friend also.. he has liked me before but we never went out.. me and guy1 don't even hardly talk anymore tho..and there is guy2 he's really sweet i uste to like him i probably would start likein him again, but he's not really a person that is popular and he asked me out last night but i don't know if i should.. what should i do wait for guy1 that i really like or forget about the guy1 and wait and see if i start like guy2?

you shouldn't have second on thoughts on guy 2 based on popularity. but if your interests differ significantly that you'd run out of things to talk about and things get boring, then it wouldn't really be right. Since you and guy 1 havent been talking lately, try sticking around guy 2 for a while and see how things work out. i mean, he DOES like you. what's the point in waiting for #1 if he's not really around anymore? but it doesn't mean you CAN'T revitalize your friendship with him. just expiriment on both of them, but don't take it too far that you're having too much fun jumping back and forth from guy to guy. hope it works out (;

Q: Im 14 9th grade and im homeschooled. The local high school is having the prom. I feel really left out especially when prom comes around. My mom wants to homeschool me through high school, but I know I dont want to be. My question is can someone help me to make my mom feel more comfortable with going to school? Homeschooling is great but I just want a little experience at school. (And I want to go to prom!!) Help! Thanks

She should know that it's important for teenagers like us to be more social and interact with other kids our age (not to sound old). And if she DOES homeschool you all four years of high school, don't you think that you'd be a little "socially delayed" in life? you should bring that up to her. you can't be shielded from the real world forever, especially high school which is supposedly supposed to be "the best years of our lives."

Q: For no reason at all, I keep blacking out. It happens very often and I don't know why. What should I do? My mom told me its because I need to excersize more...is she right? Please Help.

It can be because of lack of sleep or malnutrition.

Q: I love to watch scary movies. My question is, how do you go to sleep after watching one? I just finished watching a REALLY scary movie and I'm really scared! How do I go to sleep without thoughts of the movie?

It's all in your head. Nothing is going to randomly happen on that very night when you watched that scary movie. But if it seriously takes you a long time to get over a scary movie (like me.. haha) then watch a 'happy movie' that would make you laugh. it works for me, hope it works for you!

Q: 14/f
well for me it kind of gets really depressing when i see all these couples and people finding 'the one' and i feel left out, i have had my chances but they just want me for something else.im not exactly the prettiest person alive, actually im far from it. and i cant seem to find him, its really making me mad/sad/depressed. i know when the right time comes it will happen but do you think you can give me some tips to hold up till then because it seems like it will never happen, or wont it

you're fourteen, i'm fifteen and i have never had a boyfriend. yes, i get sad whenever i spot couples too close to each other and all that jazz. but for now, enjoy being single, because i heard having a boyfriend causes a lot of drama (besides all the rumors that you hear about how great love is). and they're not lying when they say there are "ups and DOWNS" in relationships. don't worry, the guy will come around.. and probably a few other guys will come across you too. stay up (;

Q: ok so i have kind of frizzy wavy hair. and it drives me NUTS.
ive tried using straitening gels and things like that but it never helps that much. I straighten my hair like everyday so it gets fried and gross.

i would wear it curly but i think it looks dumb becuase its too short and i have really short layers so it poofs out on the top and looks retarted.

so is there anything i can put in my hair to help with the frizz and or spilt/dead ends?

xo thanks.

A good shampoo product you can use is "Biosilk." it's an anti-frizz shampoo that treats dry, thick, and wavy hair. as for the split ends, it's hard to get rid of them. i'd say trim them, but you said your hair is too short. i'd suggest you give it a trim after your hair is grown out so no traces of split ends will exist. [;

Q: Ok to put it straightfoward.. my boyfriend won't make out with me. We've talked about. And I mean we've been going out for a few months so I think we should.

How can I just like getting it stated with him. I'm used to the guys starting it with me.

Help!!

Yeah it's kind of awkward for him not to approach you first. but it may be because he hasn't kissed a girl before and he's not quite sure on how to do it. since you guys have talked about it before, he knows your experienced with the whole make out process and is expecting you to go for it. hope it works out (;

Q: Are there any laws about teachers and schools getting into your personal life? Or things you do outside of school?

Not like drugs or anything.. just getting into your personal life.

If there are can you please tell me what they are and what states they apply to?

Thank you sooo much if you can help me with this.

No, there are no laws about teachers and schools interfering with students' personal lives. But it doesnt mean its not wrong, because it is. it's just a matter of them and their 'nosey-ness.'

Q: I gave up gossiping because apparently everyone thinks I have a problem with it and when I hear something, it's the hardest thing to keep my mouth shut! I haven't broken my vow yet, and I don't plan on it, as hard as it is. I have broken it past years with things like candy and complaining last year. I was just wondering, how many teens and young adults here find it hard to keep your vows for lent? Even if it's something simple like, sodas. Have y'all been able to keep your vows completely so far?

It's not bad to ACCIDENTALLY break the 'vow you gave up for lent. just as long as it wasn't intentional. just try your best the way catholics believed jesus had. and that's all. 'He knows no one is perfect.

Q: i am 15 and i have never had a boyfriend or even been kissed. is this unusual? i think that i just intimatate guys too much and it makes them not what to ask me out. i dont know. so is this unusual..? and tips to get guys to ask me out would be greatly appreciated...

we share the same shoes! i'm fifteen, and had never in my life had a boyfriend and had never been kissed (except on the cheek). but i've witnessed a lot of relationships from friends, and 4 older siblings so i guess i can say i know a lot. but your 'problem' is not unusual at all. don't stress about it. to get guys, you can be a little softer on comments and hold back on the comebacks. but if you can't resist, you can do it with a smile, but without intimidation.. riight?

Q: my hair is really curly that it almost gets frizzy. i want my hair to be curly because it looks like crap straight, but i want it to be less all over the place. is there anyway i can get neat curls instead of wild ones??

thanks!!

Blowdrying it will make it EXTRA dry. trust me, my sister has to straighten her hair everyday because she has the frizziest hair i have ever seen and right before she blow drys it, it's EVERYWHERE. i suggest after you shower, let your hair dry on it's own.. but don't wait too long. just have your hair semi wet/damp and apply mousse to it. it'll maintain its curliness and it`ll give it a more stabled look.