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A lot of my friends say I give really good relationship advice no matter what it is. Fasion isn;t my strong point so if you want some fasion sense Em's your girl. She's in my favorite columnists. CottonCandyBabiiEm is her columnist name. Well g2g.

advice

OMG!! i am 15 and i have no idea what sex is!! can u give me details???
SALLY!

Ok. This is probably a conversation I would have in a private chat room because your question is so0o broad, but I know I can help you. Just IM me.
CaNdiShOpGurll-AIM

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okay well heres where i start see my dad beats me and my mom drinks alot and does drugs as well as my dad and the other day my mother said she was tired of my rebelious actions and she gave me the choice of living with my great aunt mary (which is pretty kewl shes the best) and well i kind of don't want to bcz i don't want to leave my best friend and boyfriend! what should i do?

Ok. I have had many friends in the same exact situation. I'm kind of in it right now. With the great aunt and everything. I understand how important your boyfriend and your best friend are to you, but your life can become or is at risk. I personally think you should live with your aunt. It's a very very difficult decision and it's really up to you. You need to think about it carefully before you decide, but you also need to consider your well-being.

IM me if you want to talk.
CaNdiShOpGurll-AIM

Ashley

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Lately, I've been feeling REALLY lonely. How do I tell my parents that, I don't want to be here anymore? I'm tired of my friends, I'm tired of my family, and I'm tired with the people around. I do hang out with good people who make good decisions--I'm not tired about that. But I don't feel completely happy with them. I sometimes feel a little left out, and I do blame myself for not being more "in the loop". But I don't have that many things in common with them. My parents are also good people. They give me the things I need and have brought me up pretty well. They really are good parents. I'm just sick of living here and being lonely. I feel like theres no one around. I recently just lost my "best friend". She was great, but I did realize that she wasn't exactly the kind of person I want to be friends with (she constantly reassured herself by making fun of other people, she was REALLY competitive @ EVERYTHING, etc.). Is there anything I can do, or anyone I can talk to, or IM? (Theres a lot of other things I'm upset about) Is there anyone who's been in a state of depression or anything? Because I seriously need to talk to someone.

I was in the same situation you are in right now about 7 ot 8 months ago, right before school started. I was always with my friends, but like you, I didn't as "welcome" as before. I had a really hard time deciding what I was going to do because i had always had lots of good friends because i'm really outgoung. My advice for you is to talk to someone who has seen their lonely days and try to get as much from them as possible. People who have felt what it is like to be alone are more often likely to try to offer a helping hand and listen to your problems rather than just sit there and pretend like you listening I really hope I helped and good luck. If you wanna talk some more just IM me. CaNdiShOpGurll (AIM)

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I'm totally in love with boyfriend. We've been togher for over 9 months. hes made me cry when i'm happy. i've made him cry when hes happy. Hes says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. i feel the same way. he also says hes lucky to have me , he stays up at night cause he can't get me out of his head , that i'm the only girl he really cares for and stuff like that. It seems to good to be true. Do u think hes telling me the truth? He doesn't pressure me into doing anything sexual that i don't want 2 and when we do have sex he says he want it to be speical . I feel the same way. But hes been doing horrible things. Hes cut himself before. The reason he did is because his dad wouldn't let him call and other times because he couldn't get me out of his head. He also admited to takeing phills. He has promised to stop for me. what should I do? Its scares me i don't want to lose him. Why do u think hes doing this? How can I help him. Please give me some advice. And please don't think hes a freak because honestly no one would ever think of him to ever do anything like that hes a good guy. Please help and thank you

Hi hun,
Ok I have a number of friends who cut or have cut. Some people are more serious than others, not saying that all cutting isnt dangerous, but the sooner you find out the better. If your boyfriend was this open and honest about it then obviously he wants you to help him. Apperantly you guys love eachother very much and are willing to do anything to be with eachother. My advice to you is to start a journal. I know it sounds really cheesy and gay, but it works. I've done it with about 5 of my friends and it helps so much. He can put anything in it. Poems, pictures, writing anything. Try to keep him as preoccupied as possible and most of all talk to him about it. Cry with him if you have to. The thing about this is, if you aren't read y to support him 100% you cant support him at all.
I really hope I helped and good luck.
IM me if you wanna talk some more. I have some amazing stories. CaNdiShOpGurll (AIM)

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ok.. there is this guy i REALLY like and my Best friend likes him too.. but we bearly talk anymore me and the guy. We need something to talk about. Can you help me? thanks Ash

Ok this may sound really cliche, but bring up random topics. Like the weather... anything. If you have a class with him ask him a question about a problem your having. Just try to get his attention. About the best friend wow...... toughie. Two things to think about
a. does you best friend like anyone one else besides the guys your interested in.
b. is he worth potentially ruining your friendship.
I hope I helped and good luck
-Ashley

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well ashly i have a large penis and yah im really horny all of the time i mean all of the time and thus the problem of poping a boner in a public place i mean its a problem for alot of guys with small dicks too but i mean come on

Ok um..... I've never actually had a boner, but uh I can see where your coming from. At your age guys are very self concious about their size. But my only advice I can give you is to wear bigger pants, tuck it in and wait until you get home. Im sure your girlfriend will be very happy with your um... stamina.

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Hi, can you give me any flirting advice for SHY people? Because i really like this boy (people have told me he likes me too but I don't know). It's just that when he looks at me I immediately look down in case he sees me blushing or looking at him, and when he touched my foot under the table I pulled it away. I wanted to keep doing it, but I dunno, I just got nervous I guess. Help please? Thank-you xo

Ok. Flirting can be very difficult for those who dont do it often, but there are a few things you can do to flirt back. Physical contact is the most important part of flirting.
1. For instance when he touched your foot, GENTLY (notice the key word) nudge him back (make sure you smile through this next part) and turn with your back to him and occasionally look back at him.
2. If you ever see him in hall and you walking with your friends glance up at him and smile but make sure its not for a long period of time.
Ok heres another thing, from playing footsies it may end up in holding your hand so if you were freaked out about the feet thing you may want to brace yourself, but if you really like this guys(which I'm guessing you do) dont pull away from him when you know he's flirting with you. One last thing before I go. You have to remember to breath. I know when people get nervous they tend to hold their breath, but dont. Count in your head if you have to.
I hope I helped and good luck.

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One of my very close friends believes he was born gay. I just don't understand his belief in that. Why is it that some people can be 'born gay' and others not? I just don't understand that concept in life. Can anyone explain to me why some can be born gay and others not?

That concept doesn't quite make sense because your sexuality isn't decided as a young child much less an infant. It isnt a genetic disorder and it makes absolutely no sense for someone to claim that it is. Perhaps the term "born gay" is to be used as an analogy for the fact that as long as you've known the person they have acted in a homosexual way (however that may be).

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I was babysitting at a place over an hour away (I was spending the night there too), and I was charging my cell before I left, and I guess I forgot it was on and charging, so I had left it at home when I left (accidentaly) and it was charging until about noon the next day... maybe later, so if I estimated it would have been from 4p.m to maybe 12:30p.m, not quite 24 hours, but about 3 and a half hours less.

2 questions...
Is it bad to leave you cell on when you're charging (my cell will still charge)
And is it bad to keep it charging for so long (even if it was on accident) Thanks!

1. No its not bad to leave your cell phone on while its charging. It does take longer for its battery to be full charged, but in the end it will charge just the same.

2. If your charging your cell phone for four or five days straight then its bad. I believe you cell phone was charging for about 20 1/2 hours and that its dangerous at all. If you have an older battery (which you dont because it will still charge) you are more at risk to having it fail later. I hope I helped.

P.S.- I think you may be able to get a little better information if you included the model and year of your cell phone.

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Hi, I'm going to a carnival dance and I'm not sure on what to wear. The weather is in the high forties to low fifties, but the place of the dance is EXTREMELY HOT.

Is this a good outfit:

White tank, black miniskirt, and pink tweed heels

OR .. ANY SUGGESTIONS? AND HAIR SUGGESTIONS? I'll rate high for appropriate answers.

I think you should go with you outfit idea, but you may want to try a shorter heel or wear platforms. Since it is a dance I am asuming that you will be dancing and heels, while they may look sexy when you first walk in the door, can become a serious issue. Also you may want to bring a small jacket. A wind-breaker or a hoodie would be very appropriate just in case the temperature drops a bit. I hope my advice helped and have fun at your dance.

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has anyone here become pregnant at a young age? please tell me ur story, im 15 and 3 weeks pregnant, n i dont know if i should get an abortion. what did ur parents say and do?

Hi hun. I dont have a personal story but I have my friends. I was there through it all. Literaly. The night she was concieved I was there.
*altered names
A few years ago my best friend Melissa* had a party. She was in the 5th grade. It was all good til the drugs came around and since Melissa was the guest of honor she got first dibs. So her and her boyfriend Matthew* got high on X. They went down in the basement and started having sex just like almost everyone else.
Then about 4 weeks later i get a call from Melissa saying shes got some real bad news and she had to come over. Well she came and we talked and she told me she was pregnant. She had just turned 11. So me and her went down to the clinic and stuff and got her all this information about teenage pregnancy and abortions. Well we read it all and she then realized how unprepared she was for this baby. She didnt want to tell her mom or anyone else because it would give her a really bad reputation (as you might have guessed).
Well she went 5 and a half months before her mom found out and she went balistic. And you could see how much pain she was in.
She had really bad contractions for about 6 weeks and then the baby came. She was a kinda big baby so she was in labor for about 16 hours.
I know second hand stories dont do much good but i come from a long line of teenage mothers and a neighborhood or teen pregnancy. I presonally dont think you should get an abortion. Its the worst thing you will ever do to yourself.I know it may seem like a good outlet now but in the end you WILL regret it. About the parents I wouldnt worry too much unless they kick you out. In a perfect setting they would be very supportive in this even though they did not support or agree with your choice to have sex. If you need to talk about it or want some helpful advice you can always IM me CaNdiShOpGurll (AIM).
I hope my story helped a little bit and congratulations on your baby. I know it may seem like a burden now, but im sure he or she will be beautiful.

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Well, My 5 year olf brother and I walked into the room my 16 year old sister and I share, and we saw her and her boyfriend having sex...

They didnt even know we were there for like two minutes... I was frozen, my feet rooted to the floor, but then finally my brother pulled me away... the problem is... My brother asked me, just as we walked out, "what were they doing there?"

I seriously dont know how to answer him... I mumbled something, but all week he's been persisting, and I need to give him an answer before he asks my parents and gets my sister into trouble... Please help!!!

I dont mean to be mean but that is very funny because i have had to do the exact same thing except mine was with my GREAT aunt and uncle. Your best bet is to actually tell him they were having sex, and when he asks you what that means be very very vague. Im sure you've heard the "where do babies come from?" speech a thousand times over, but this time it may actually save your sisters butt.
PS- I think its really cool you are trying to protect your sister like that.

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I hae to close friends that are pregnant. Unfortunantly one was raped and the other one was by her boyfriend. They are both considering abortion. Why is it that people think it is all right for my friend who was raped to get an abotion and the other one isn't. Both are still killing and innocent child...Please help me understand the difference!!

There is no difference. I am very sorry for your friend that was raped, but that is not an excuse. Adoption is a wonderful thing and I think that your freinds should consider that if they are looking towards abortion.

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well on friday night i went to the movie with my best friend and we saw a scary movie, and well i was like leaning up against him and i would always hide my face in his hood whenever i got scared, and well his mom picked us up afterwards, just me and him, but we went with like 10 other people, like 5 girls, 5 guys, but they were going out and we werent, only 2 other people werent, so i walked inside and my dad was like, so which one was your date? and he was like hastling me all night. and then i went over to my best friends house on saturday and he told me that his mom was doing the same thing, and then she took us to the movies again that night, but this time it was just me and him, and she was like, "you know i think you guys should consider it because your really cute together" and personally i think so too because we both have brown hair and he's a tiny bit taller than me, and well i didnt say anything, but anyway we saw another scary movie, and i dont know how it happened but we ended up kissing? and my brother was there and he saw it and he got us a ride with his date's parents so while we were in the car his date was like, aw guys come on i swear you two are so cute together. well we didnt think anything of it. but yesterday i went bowling with my brother and we had to take our baby cousin so our other cousin who's our age went too, and my best friend called me and he asked me if i could hang out and i told him what i was doing, but my brother was like, "no you should go hang out with your boyfriend" and my best friend heard it, so he asked me out today, and in school we were hugging and we got in trouble?? but anyway i'm REALLY afraid we're gonna break up, i mean, he tells me he cares about me and he loves me and his mom has always liked me, but i dont know im really scared our friendship wont last. do you have any tips how i can get over this??

sorry its so long.

Your situation is complicated, but its soooo common. It's really is a worst case scenerio, but if your that insecure about your relationship then maybe your friendship wasnt as strong as you thought because your obviously having some self concious issues. They may not be apperant but they do exist. They exist in all relationships, but somehow when to really good friends start dating it is really clear. My advice, talk to him about your insecurity in your relationship but be sure to emphasize that you want to be together if that is still the case.

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hey. okay i have some stretch marks on my boobs, and im very slef concious about them. none of m friends have them. my boobs arent even that big either! why did i get them, and what can i do to get them go away? i'm afraid to do anything sexual witha guy because im embarresed. i cant wear low shirts because of it. what can i do to maek this go away?

You cant just make things like that go away. It's kind of like a scar. It means your muscle grew too fast for your skin and its trying to keep up. Its nothing to be embarrased about at all. A lot of girls have them and ususally they arent the um...... biggest girls in school. And this issue with your sexuality is kind of pointliess. I mean think about it. If you are going to go that far with a guy chances are he's not going to be looking for any flaws, but if you are really self concious about it, a little tanning here and there will do wonders. It wont work immediatly, but after about a month you will see your skin tone evening out.

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yeah i had a boyfriend but he was a whimp and now 3people like me but i dont like any of them, what should i do!!! help ASAP

Dear Lonleyy,
Ok hun Im guessing you dropped you wimppy boyfriend for whatever he might have or have not done. Well for these 3 others I really think you should tell them your not interested. At all. The firmer you are in your delivery the more seriously they will take you. Im not saying be cruel or anything just... mean what you say. And make sure they know your serious.

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My parents know that I want to listen to Green day and Bowling for soup and a large variety of other music bands, but won't let me. I'm 13, but they prolly think it's too young. How can I convince them that I enjoy music and am missing out on a lot without it?? And besides-I should be entitled to what they had.

I know exactly where your coming from. Parents are really blaming the media for the "loss" of their children's attention and your right it is a right of passage. But you still have to think of where your parents are trying to come from. I love Green Day and Bowling for Soup just as well but some of their music is questionable. Maybe not to us so much because that is what we are accustomed to. If you look back in the day it was all Marvin Gaye and the Temptations, but now its all of our music like 50 cent about getting shot and green day about screwing the goverenment. It's just how you look at it. My advice is to try to see where they are at as parents and explain to them that you do understand their problem with you listening to music but there actually is a lot of our teen culture in music and you really are missing out on a lot when you dont get to listen to it.
P.S. by the way. there is this thing called radio edit!! LOL

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I am a thirteen year old girl and I have a close male friend. We usually get on quite well and we are always talking and hugging. We used to be attracted to each other and he on/off still is to me but I don't feel that way about him. Everyone says we act like we're a couple and that we should get together but I honestly don't want to. We are very close but are we too close? I admit I hug him more than my other friends but I don't have any feelings for him. So is it wrong to be this close to him if we're not in a relationship?

Well if you are always huggig him it may be some what misleading. I can understand having a very good male friend, but maybe you are a little too close. On the other hand, of course it is always good to have a male view especially when it comes to other guys. You also said that you explained to him that you are not interested in that kind of relationship but was your delivery forthcoming and believable. Sometimes guy friends that want to be more than friends will take what you say as a joke and think it is flirtacious. My advice to you is to either sit him down ans tell him straight you are friends and nothing more or be less "lovey-dovey" around him.

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i have been seeing someone on /off for the last ten years . recently moved out because the depts are way to much for me, i know he cheats on me so why do i feel like i cant move on???

Wow. 10 years. That is where your issue lies. Many people find it difficult to move on after a long term relationship especially if it happend to be a sexual one. My only advice I can give you is to try and find a new person to take your mind off your ex. A hobby would do just fine. Anything to keep you preoccupied. And who knows, you may meet your Mr. Right in the process.

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okay, so i really love that punky makeup look, sooooo i was wondering where i could get some good products. especially eyeshadow. i've seen some girls with hot pink eyeshadow and it looks awsome but every single time i've gotten a pink it just ends up looking too pastel or fuchia-ish! any good products or ideas?

Well, If your really looking for that rich pink look try a red. It will come off much lighter depending on your skin tone. Also Morbid Makeup at Hot Topic is excellent for that punky look you are going for. If you dont have one near you, you could try a year round costume shop. They usually have very punky colors that might interest you.

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