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Hey all. My name is Elizabeth and I just started using an Advice column from Advicenators. I love giving anyone advice who needs it or has a problem,so feel free to ask meh any questions you'd like I'd be more than happy to help you with anything. :-)
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Member Since: September 26, 2004
Answers: 21
Last Update: December 23, 2004
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Ok me and my boyfriend have been having some trouble lately and we haven't been talking that much. Well the other day this boy pranked my friend and he got her number off our friend and they called me on 3 way and I started talkin to this boy. I talk to him like every day now and I am falling for him! He's so great. But i dont even know what he looks like but i don't think it would matter to me because he's just the greatest person in the world to talk to. But theres just one thing I HAVE A BOY FRIEND. I don't know what to do I like both of them so much! What should I do??

HELP (link)
Well the first thing I am going to say is, you obviously don't care as much about your boyfriend if your talking to another guy and allowing yourself to develop those type of feelings. If you loved your boyfriend, you wouldnt still be going on with this other guy. I understand that we can change our feelings about people, but if this is how you treat your boyfriend, it's probably how you will treat this other guy if you get with him. I think you should sit down and seriously think. Do you like and want to stay with your boyfriend? or do you just wanna forget him and go for this new guy that you dont even KNOW?. At least with your boyfriend you kno who he is, you kno what he looks like, he cna actually do things with you.. but this other guy you kno nothing about him besides what you hav talked about on the phone. I think you need to prioritize yourself and really stop screwing around. You are not only screwing your boyfriend around, but your going to end up hurting yourself. Take my advice and think about what you want before you continue on with either one of these guys.


hey um this is kind of awkward, but i'm 14 going on 15 in a couple of months, and i belive i have met "the one" i've know him sience i was 2 1/2 and he wants to um finger me, and i am totally comfortable with it, but my parents arn't. should i do it behing my parents back, or listen to my parents and not do it at all, but my mom is the one whos conserned my dad doesn't care. i've haven't talked to them about it they kinda listen in my phone conversations with one of my good friends, have you ever got fingered or done it to someone? if not then how old were you when you did it, please.... im so CONFUSED! i'll rate! (link)
You do what YOU feel is right. Your parents can't make up your mind about what YOU want to do. I know that sounds a little disrespectful but hun, we have all been there at one point or another and if we wanna do something then we do it. Thats just how we all are. I was about..13-14 the first time I was fingered, and of course it was behind my parents back. You think any parent would approve of thier child having sex or anything of the nature?. I say as long as your safe and comfortable, then why not?. You're at the age where thats when people start to experiment. The best thing to do is to just keep those conversations off the phone if your parents are around. Tell your friends/boyfriend somewhere in person so you dont have to worry about what your mom thinks. There's a few ways around all of that. But whatever you want to do and whatever you feel is he right choice for you, I say go for it.


I tend to get paranoid very easily. For example, I will think my boyfriend doesnt like me, or thatI have no friends or that people are always talking about me. Everyone says I'mbeing stupid but I really believe it. Any advice? (link)
You are not being stupid. I also am a very paranoid person. I worry over every little thing about my boyfriend and what hes doing, saying, going behind my back. The best advice I could probably give out to you is to talk to somebody about this, that is what I have been doing. And also hearing assurance from my boyfriend helps. If you are worried about your boyfriend, have him tell you over and over how he feels about you and it will help relieve some of that pressure. Don't let anyone tell you that you're stupid, we all have problems in our personalities that arent always perfect. I hope you get the help you need and are looking for.


Does anyone know where to get Paint shop pro 8? I tried jasc.com and downloads.com but they dont have it..they have 9. Thanks. (link)
paint shop pro 9 is the same exact thing because I have it for my graphic making. You dont need 8. besides 9 has better features and more to offer. Check it out.


Okay heres the thing i like this guy A LOT and were close friends and the other night he told me that he likes me too..which made me happy but the thing is right now we cant date because 3 of his best friends ( theyre girls ) like him and it would hurt them and start A LOT of drama...but he told me " i need u right here now i need u right now more than ever" and he told me i make him happy but its real hard ...and i dont know if he wants me to wait until everything cools down with his friends or should i try moving on n puttin interest in someone else....because i mean we both like eachother and we have chemistry....so what should i do!? (link)
Well if he really liked you, he wouldn't care what his friends thought. Your friends do not have to like or agree who you go out with and are just clouded by a jealousy complex because your the girl he wants. It sounds like hes letting them get in the way of your relationship or the start of it and I think you should tell him how you feel. If he's going to let these other girls stand in the way of him getting with you... then think to yourself.. is he worth it?. You shouldnt have to sit around forever waiting to see what hes gonna do if you can find someone who would want to be with you regardless of thier friends. Well good luck with everything.


Hi, could someone get the url to the song "All I want for Christmas is You" By Mariah Carey. Thanks a bunch! I need it for my xanga :) (i would get it myself but i can't find it onthe sites i normally go to, even if you just recomended a site or something thatd be peachy :D) (link)
Here is your URL.

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/m/mariah-carey/88460.html


There's this guy "Ethan" and i liked him alot over the summer, but then at school it got around to me that he didn't like me anymore and so i thought okay ill just not seem interested bc guys usually come back to what they now know they can't have. Well that's when he started coming back around and wanting to talk and everything and i of course got excited. Then once we started talking again it wasnt much but it was something. i guess i just wanted it to go back to how it was over the summer. so i suppose i got in the habit of ignoring him going back to the belief that he'd show me more attention but now he's not noticing me much anymore either. What can i do to get him back to talk/notice/like me? (link)
Well I would tell Ethan that you need to talk to him. And let him know how you feel. Even if he rejects you, I think it might be a big burden off your shoulders knowing where you stand and how he feels about it. He may be waiting for you to come to him, Not all guys come to girls... Sometimes the guy would like the girl to make a move. The best advice I have for you is to let him know exactly how you feel and what you think. It may go alot better than you expect, and it may not. No matter what you choose to go or which road to take.. Your gonna be setting yourself up for some kind of disappointment either way; whether you sit around and wait for him, or let him know what your feeling. If he tells you that hes moved on and doesn't think he wants that kind of commitment or hes interested in something else, then thats a red flag to let you kno that you should also move on. Well good luck in your choices.


Alright .. so im 13 .. and i had sex for the first time with my boyfriend last night .. meaning i was a virgin until last night .. well i heard your supposed to bleed your first time .. and i didnt .. it hurt like SUPER SUPER bad .. but i didnt bleed .. and i was just wondering if thats normal or not . Thanks :) (link)
Yes, its perfectly normal not to bleed. Not everyone does thier first time, and yeah of course its going to hurt because for one, your 13 so your a bit tight. It's a shame to see 13 year olds going out and having sex but its your life and your decisions and thats not why im answering here. Just letting you know that yes its normal and just please, i know its overrated but if your going to start being more sexual active... just PLEASE BE CAREFUL!. :-)


how to reply to the frequently asked question in the interviews such as this one" tell me about ur self" actually what does the interviewer expects from us when he asks this question? (link)
Well I think everyone else's reply have said it but yeah.. The interviewer doesnt care about your love life, family life, friends life or life at school, he wants to cut to the chase and talk about YOU. YOUR interests, your weaknesses n strengths, how well you perform on a job and your other work expiriences. And if you havent had a job before and this is your first interview, then let them know that. Dont fake during an interview, whatever you do stay calm and try to stick to being honest. He/She doesnt want you to fill thier head with a bunch of far out things to make yourself look good. The most important thing is to go in calm and be yourself. Let them know your interested in the job and give details about how you as a person would be right for the job and list your qualities and make it interesting but as i said, stay honest and dont stretch anything that could turn into a lie. Just be yourself and who you are and about 95% of the time by doing that, you have the job in the bag


Hi Guys..Ok I know this is going to sound ignorant comming from a 22 year old but I really dont know. I am signing up for a gym membership, But I have never been worked out in a gym before. I am tring to tone my belly, sides, and legs, and loose a couple pounds. should I use certain machines how long on each. should I get in a certain rutine. If any of you go to a gym let me know what works for you and what you might think will work me. Thanks a lot guys (link)
thats not ignorant, there are many people that have never been to a gym and have started finally going in thier 40's lol. I agree with a previous reply that having a gym routine myself, they usually consult that with you and you tell them exactly what you want to do or have done and they go through and set a routine for you and with you. If you dont want to do that or you want to make your own I hav a few suggestions.. ok one, for your legs, i suggest doing about 10 mins on the leg presses or about 20 on a treadmill.. for your abs n sides, i suggest using the ab roller machine if your gym has one. That thing works wonders and can relly tone yah up. May I also suggest that if your gym offers it, take a short Pilates class... if you relly want results that work n last.. definatly try Pilates. Its definatly one of the best work-out programs out there.


Hey everybody!
I asked this question before and I really got some good answers, and some had me thinkin. So i am going to be more specific.

I am a 14yr old boy who likes girls (typical). But just over the summer i knew i was bi. right now in october i still like other
boys and i have a crush on one too! however i still like girls as in
emotionally and socially, but i like boys for all 3 emotional, social, and sexually. i would still go with a girl, but i prefer a boy because it's something diffrent. i think i know i'm gay but i still need to know if i should just be completly gay and forget girls!?! (link)
Well, I am bisexual and I have a leaning more towards girls yet I have a boyfriend whom I am very serious with and plan on marrying. I think you should just stay bi and go out with anyone you want to. If your feeling stronger towards guys, then go for the guys. But if you still have a feeling about dating a girl or you still would then it does hurt right?. There is no problem with staying bisexual and just dating who you want, look on the bright side.. us bisexuals have better chances and more chances than anyone because we can date from either sex lol. That is not something everybody can say or be into so just be yourself and date who you want to. I wouldnt forget girls because someday down the road you might end up wanting to be back with one. The onlky way id say go completely gay is if you had no other feelings for girls, but since you do still hav some feelings for them, just stay bi and live it up!.


My cd-player was stolen out of my car last week and I am too cheap to buy a new one. I still have the original factory radio that came with my car but I am unsure of how to install it. I feel I may be missing some wiring. It is a 94' Ford Taurus. Can anyone help me out, or know of a web site that show me what to do? (link)
The best thing to do is take your radio and your car and go to a Garage or even take it to an electronics store like radio shack or one you hav locally and just ask about it. Get some professional advice from someone who does it for a living. Just go to a car garage and ask what kind of wiring you need, go buy the wire and have them install and it would be dirt cheap to hav them do it. Im not good with cars so I kno firsthand about doing stuff like that lol.


Okay so i always like to look good. When i walk out the door i have to make sure that i'm dressed nice, my hair looks good, my make-up's alright...i want people to think i'm hot. So i always make sure i do and when i walk out of the house i feel confident. But then if i meet up w/ some girlfriends i'm constantly comparing myself to them. At the end of the day i'm convinced that i look horrible next to them and that makes me feel insecure. Does this happen to anyone else and how can i fix it? (link)
Well I can easily relate to this kind of issue. But I never took it to this extreme. I think you are being a bit foolish in how your taking all of this. I must agree with GhostWorld because I think he actually said it best and pretty much said all I was planning on saying. You need to realize that make up, clothes, hair do's, make up nothing of who you really are. You can plaster yourself in make up, wear the best brand of clothes out there, look absolutly gorgeous and I bet you have no personality. And it would be even worse if you acted like this but you had a wonderful personality. You need to stop being so vain. And I agree with GW when he said that your obviously just as good looking as your friends or else you wouldnt be in thier gathering. You dont need to make yourself look better than your friends bc sweetie I hate to tell you, you are not the hottest girl out in the world and I doubt you ever will be or be able to convince people of that. Clothes, make up and everything are just a mask of who you relly could be... It's all about personality and looks are just an added bonus. You need to start attracting people by your personality and actions because Im sorry... REAL guys are not gonna go for that fake britney spears look with the air headed personality next to a girl that may not be as atreactive but has the best thing going for her and thats her personality and how she is as a person because thats what makes you beautiful and what makes that make up n clothing pretty. Thats the key. thats what makes you beautiful. Not how you dress or do your make up.. but any real person would be looking more at your actions and looks and if you want people to be atracted to your looks, then your going to be very sad and end up with some superficial loser that cares nothing about you. Im sorry if I was a bit harsh but it needs to be told to you before you let it go too far. I hope it helps and I hope you can realize your a beautiful person not only on the outside... but on the inside too.


hey!
Im in theater class and i have to do a monoluge containing a conflict in it. I really want to awake feelings in people and by uniuqe...one that no one will have. most of the ideas i came up with are already taken such as playing a teenager with a defect and his issues, or about to love someone or forget someone. im really kinda clueless right now, and i need as much as i can get. If you're going to answer this, please make sure u dont give me some relevent ideas, but something that u think if is acted well, could awake strong feeling in the crowd. thank u very much!! have a good day =D (link)
I'd say if you did one about maybe a marraige between 2 people of different races or religion. That can be pretty deep and also brings up the everyday stereotypes people have about things like that.

Say you a Christian american girl (I apologize if you are not american or anything but this is just an example, so i dont mean to offend you) falls in love with someone of the middle eastern decent, and say your parents are against it because they feel all middle eastern people are terrorists and no goods, And his parents are against it because they feel all americans or the white christian race are all stuck up or something like that. Then you can throw in a conflict of religion about how one family is muslim, and the other is Christian or Catholic and how its totoally against both religions but you too dont care bc you love each other..

I think that would be a nice strong Conflict that might wake a few people up if they think any of that.

And I deeply apologize for anyone reading this I hope I havent offended anyone, I was just suggesting a conflict that really does happen and I by no means are racist or a bigot. I just think some people need to realize that most stereotypes are wrong.

I hope this is something that can help


I have never had sex in my life, and i have never been "licked" down there, and i have been getting these bumps that are ichy and hurt.... What coiuld they be from? Please help me out, i'm really scared. (link)
I'm sorry I couldnt get back to you right away but I have been swamped with work

Ok sweetie, I have a few questions for you.
--------------------------------------------------
Question 1: Do you shave "down there"?

~ This is a big one because I have gotten similiar bumps that can hurt and itch on my genital region before too. This can be caused if you shave there and get too close and it causes rashes, and you get those little bumps as a result.

Question 2: have you shared or weared any underpants, pants that didnt belong to you?

~ This is another thing you want to be careful of. Sharing other peoples pants or underpants is the same as sharing both hats n combs and attracting head lice. Even staying over at a friends house and being on thier bed if they have either live or crabs, you can easily get it. You have public lice or "Crabs" and it can easily be taken care of with a prescription from your doctor. You could have also got it from something else too.

I think you answered my Question 3, about have you done anything in the sexual nature. I think you have caught a rash or public lice and you need to get that checked out right away. I dont mean to get personal but have you noticed any of those bumps, on the inside of you? or are they just on the outside?. If you notice them inside then you may hav genital herpes and you need to get to a doctor quick. It's nothing to relly mess with or wait about.

And if you had already gone to the DR before I got the chance to reply to you, I want you to please let meh how your doing and what the problem is, and again I apologize for waiting so long. I hope everything is fine and I hoped I helped you a little bit.

Best wishes and Take Care


First off, I'm not sexually active and am pretty much a 'good girl' when it comes down to getting serious and sexual with any guy. The problem is, I have these very sexual, heated fantasies. When I meet a hot guy, and we start talking, I start to daydream about us having sex. I don't mean normal sex either - like rough, hard and in odd places. Is there something wrong with me? These fantasies are taking over my life and mind. (link)
As was said by others I believe its just part of the bad girl starting to overcome the good girl so to speak. Especially still having your virginity, I think we all have had fantasies about having sex and doing wild things. I dont think you have anything to worry about. Nothing is wrong with you, it's just part of how we grow and develop, and of course never expiriencing it.. your going to think about it, and more than usual. Believe meh, once you lose your virginity, you will no longer have such fantasies or not as strong. Dont get meh wrong, dont go out there tomorrow and just have sex with some random guy...but its ok to think and daydream. Its not taking over your life or mind, your just curious and hormones and everything else are going. It's puberty. You will be fine and as suggested, if your really getting uncomfortable with these fantasies... talk to someone you trust and get the help you need.


well to be honest i'm worried about my bestfriend.. her boyfriend still talks with his ex girlfriend (she moved 3 years ago, outside the country). she found emails were they said that they cared a lot for each other. he said it didn't matter because it was just by emails, nothing would ever happen, it was just a scape of reality, a game.. she loves him a lot.. i don't know what to tell her. i'm her bestfriend i don't want to break her heart, but i personaly think she should break up with him .. what do u guys think?? (link)
I think she should break up with him. It may be through e-mails but things get started that way and if they still care for each other, then who knows what else they have talked about. I would warn your friend about this and let her know. She should not get dragged along with this guy who is going back and forth with his ex and her. As a best friend, I would definatly bring up to her and have a nice talk. I wouldnt get tangled up with someone who was still very much into thier ex.


Well im 15 and i have a WONDERFUL boyfriend. we've been together for 3 years!! and u have to admit thats pretty long..anyways, he gets horny a lot, and he tries to get me to have sex with him sometimes, and im just NOT ready!!! He understands tho of course since hes a real understanding person, but last night, he tried to have sex again!! and of course, (as always) i stopped him. And this morning he came over, and gave me a letter, and then left..here's whut it said..

Dear Nicole,
This no - sex thing just isnt working for me. Im sorry, its just that i get sooo HORNY whenever i see you..i jack off, and i just cum and stuff. I dont have a very strong will, so i think u should rethink about the no-sex thing. you know that i love you either way tho..and i cude never break up with you..but ur a fantastic person, and i neeeeeeeed you..
Love,
Chris

should i just have sex with him and get it over with? or should i stick with my first answer? PLEZE HELLLLLLLPP ME!!!!!!!! (link)
To me this guy is only looking for sex and sounds like a dog already. Wait till your older and definatly wait till you find a decent guy or a better one. You can do alot better.


16-f

My mom and I are really close, and she told me that since I was 16 I could date now. Well I got asked out by this really awesome guy, who I've been friends with for 3 years. And I said yea. Well I told my mom and she freaked. And the reaosn why, is because hes middle eastern. He's not muslim(and even if he was I'd date him), he's not a terroist, his family are not terroists..he just happens to be from Iraq. My mom is saying stuff like "Sure do what you want, get blown up". How can I make her understand that not all people from Iraq are like that!! (link)
Well from seeing everyone else's replies I must agree with the one before me. You're really not going to change your mom's mind about how she feels about things such as that. She likes to stereotype and usually that can be hard to overcome. Sit down with your mom and kind of let her know about what she is saying is childish. From that comment you said your mom has made, it sounded like one of a 5 year old. Sit down with her, let her KNOW that not all people from Iraq are terrorists. Thats like saying all Americans are obese or all Americans are greedy. Thats not true at all. Have a dinner with you, your mom, and your bf and his parents. You let your mom know that she said it was fine for you to date and she didnt put any restrictions on it and its not even her place to tell you who to date. You just follow what you think is right and best wishes to you and your boyfriend. :-)


Okay, im thirteen and i have a boyfriend who is the greatest thing in my life right now, hes so suportive towards me..and i really would like to spend the rest of my life with him and i know alot of people are gunna tell me that im 13 and alot of things are gunna go on in my life that might change and i dont even know what love is, but trust me i do i know exactly what it is thanks too him, but anyways...we both wanna go further..cause we both have the same feelings for eachother, and i wanna go further but i dont know how far..i mean we have made out alot...and like fingered..whats next? help me and ill rate you (link)
Well as I read over other people's responses (because I dont relly want to repeat lol) I think the next thing would be oral sex. Call me old fashioned but I just dont think a 13 year old should be having sex. You are still considered to be a child even if you are teenager. I dont want to put you down or anything because I've been in a similar position. But if you feel he is the one for you and you have ever reason to believe it and you want to go further, then sweetie thats going to have to be entirely up to you. No one else can tell you when your ready for sex, or ready to do anything. You need to follow your heart and your morals (if you have any that you stand for.) As I heard in another reply to you, I think you are very mature for your age and you seem to know what you want.

My advice to you would be to take it slow and one thing at a time. You've made out, played with each other, then if your going to take a next step it would be for oral.. but hunny, be sure you are ready and comfortable. Thats the most important thing of all that you are ready. You seem ready enough but I still feel some uncertainty and you just do what you think is right for the both of you

Good luck and let me know sometime how it went. I'd love to listen. :-)




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