Whatever your problem is, chances are I have dealt with it- either directly of indirectly- at some point in my life. I've worked as a Social Worker (with issues like mental illness, addiction, disabilities, eating disorders, etc.)
I've also taught school (to teens!)and have experience mentoring them.
In addition to that, I've lived in 4 different countries, many different cities, and worked jobs in all different fields from Software Sales to Fashion Designer.
This diverse life experience has given me knowledge on a wide variety of topics- which I hope I can put to good use here. :-)
So go ahead- ask away!
PS- I do not judge people or speak to them in a condescending way. However, I will be honest and tell you what you NEED to hear, not what you WANT to hear.
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Age: 34
Member Since: July 15, 2007
Answers: 181
Last Update: June 24, 2009
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DangerNerd
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I've just started taking TriNessa and I'm still getting used to taking it at exactly 9:00 every night. I've been on it for about 10 days now and a few of those nights I would forget to take it at exactly 9:00, but I would remember around 9:15 or 9:30. Will it still be effective if I take it just 15-30 minutes late. (I obviously will try to take it at exactly 9.)
Also, I was wondering when it will be safe for me to have sex without using a condom?
Thanks! (link)
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I'm glad that your are smart enough to be on birth control and being so responsible about it.
No, 15 minutes or so won't make a difference.
But YES you still need to use a condom!!!!!!!!!!!!
The pill does not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases. And if you're not worried about that because you think you and your partner are 100% clean- think again.
STD's can be there without any symptoms present. So one of you could've have gotten something without even realizing it.
Also- partners aren't always 100% monogymous. I had a friend in college who had a serious boyfriend of 3 years so she thought she was safe with just the pill- but the guy cheated once and got an STD- and gave it to her!
That STD will stay with her for life now. Some can even make you sterile- ie- you won't be able to have kids.
So don't risk it. You're already being responsible, go the extra step and use a condom too. It won't hurt to have a backup birth control anyway.
RT
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of one of my best friends is thinking about commiting suicide i love her so much as a sister and i never want her to do anything like that can you please give me advice on how to stop her i dont want to put her therough counseling it will only make it worse (link)
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YOUR FRIEND NEEDS HELP. PERIOD. Don't worry about her being mad, or if counseling will make her worse (let the professionals decide that). Tell her parents, or the guidance counselor at school if you can't bring yourself to tell her parents. In any case, a responsible, caring adult should know.
And if you feel there's a real danger, don't hesitate to call 911. I know that's very hard to do- but like you said, it's a life or death situation, which means, making tough decisions. And by the way, it is NOT TRUE that people that talk about suicide don't follow through and / or they just want attention. That's a myth. If she's talking about it, you need to take action, the sooner the better.
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I am an attractive guy (35) and she's an attractive lady (28) but I'm forced to initiate sex 9 of 10 encounters and when she attempts to initiate lately I don't take her seriously to the point where I'll brush her off saying, "you're joking, right", then go about my business. She likes sex early in the evening whereas I like late nite romps, I enjoy sex to music, she likes to play the television while I try to sleep, she insists that I go places with her when I'm tired from working 2 jobs about 4 days per week while she works one job maybe one time per week, etc. We're polar opposites in many ways but my main question has to do with how I can explain to her that even as a guy I would like to be treated as an attractive man and have her initiate on an equitable basis. (link)
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My advice would be not to take it personally or feel she doesn't find you attractive, etc. just because she's not initiating. Some women have just grown up with it ingrained in them that the guys make the moves- and this is reinforced by movies, family, whatever. And some may not just be they type to initiate, ya know? Just like some people are leaders and some are followers.
So please, don't take it to mean anything more than that- because chances are that that's what is going on. But you can talk to her honestly and positively encourage her by saying how much it means to you when she initiates and that you'd like her to do it more often.
PS- also keep in mind that many women have much lower libidos than men and this could be a cause too. She may not have a problem if you start and get her going, but may need someone to rev her up, so to speak.
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I'm curious.
About birth control. If you have finished the peach /placebo pill week and start a new packet on a sunday. Can you have sex that day? I always use a condom but would the pill protect me and how long does it take?
I've been taking the pill for 6 months so I know it takes at least a month to regulate. But how long does a single pill take.. to.. take effect? Hours.. or a whole week? Would it be wise to take the pill and have sex when you're supposedly on your period? Will the pill stop it?
I know.. too many questions
I really want to be protected. (link)
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This may not be the answer you were looking for, but sorry I have to be honest. If I were you I'd still use a condom- even on the pill.
Here's why: 1. the pill is not 100%, especially if you accidently skip a day or something. 2. the pill does not protect against any kind of STD. And I'm not just talking about AIDS here, there are many others that are very common- herpes, gonarrhea, just to name a few. Some there are no cure for- if you get it, you have it for life! And some can even make you sterile- i.e.- you won't be able to have kids.
You sound like you're very educated so you probably know that already, but just thought I'd remind you. In my opinion, it's not worth the risk. I've had friends in h.s. / college that this happened to (of course they thought it never would happen to them) but it did and they were devastated. One girl was living with a guy for over 3 years, they planned on getting married and everything and she thought she could trust him. He cheated on her and gave her an STD. So you can never be too careful.
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do you need a prescription for the morning after pill? (link)
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contact your nearest planned parenthood center.
www.plannedparenthood.org
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My friend is really eager to have sex with her boyfriend, but I am worried that she will get pregnant because she doesn't have any form of birth control (other than condoms, but they don't always work). Her mom would never allow her to get on the pill, so is there some way she could get it without her mother knowing? She is fifteen, if that helps at all. (link)
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www.plannedparenthood.org
find your nearest location or get a referral from them. or look in your phone book if you're afraid to use the net. free or sliding scale. they won't tell parents.
:-)
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why is it that after i masturbate i feel like i am a slut? i hate that feeling. is there anything i can do to not feel like a slut? (link)
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That's because there is and always has been a double standard for women. You would never hear a guy saying that would you?!
No, beause guys are taught from the time they are young that it's normal, even great, for them to have big sex drives and be very sexual beings. Guys talk about masturbating openly, it's accepted everywhere that it's a big part of their life, etc. For girls, it's different. That's why some girls will feel some shame for feeling sexual urges or acting on them.
Things have changed a lot over the years but we women still have a long way to go to be seen on the same level as men without being called names like 'slut' just for doing what's natural.
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if you think your pregnant but you have a period , is their still a possibility ? because everyone is saying you can still have your first period and be pregnant .
what are the symptoms and everything ?
i had my period this month , but it was way shorter than usual . normally it is 7 to 8 days , this time it was 5 . (link)
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you can still have it, even for months, but this is rare. usually if you get your period then you're ok. But you can always take another test just to ease your mind.
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I just got married a month ago and I'm a virgin. My husband and I have been trying to have sex, but we can't. I think I might have vaginismus, maybe.
What I do know for sure is that I want to have sex, I want to consummate my marriage..I just can't.
we'll be lying together, hugging, kissing, and cuddling and then when it comes to him trying to go in, i tense up. i get really nervous and i can feel my muscles tensing up...but no matter how much i try to relax them i can't. and the idea of it hurting the first time is not helping. and i just need help and suggestions on what i should do.
has anyone else had this problem?? (link)
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Have you tried a sex therapist? There are people who specialize in this (some marriage counselors as well might be able to help).
They could probably give you much more helpful advice then we can since they deal with things like this all the time. They can give you specific pointers on how to relax, what to expect, deal with any fears you may have, etc.
I don't know what your financial situation is or if you have insurance that would cover it, but it's definitely worth looking into.
Meanwhile, do you have any girls close to you that know you well and can talk to at all? Friends? A cool aunt? Cousin?
Wish you the best, sorry that's all I can think of.
=)
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i had sex last night and we agreed that he would pull out, but i dont know if he actually did. i was wondering if you would be able to feel it? he wasnt wearing a condom, and im scared that he may not have pulled out. thank you. (link)
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Sometimes you can feel it when they come sometimes not. But please, for your own sake and his, don't let a guy talk you into doing it without a condom- ever. Even if they pull out there's a good chance of getting pregnant.
Guys- especially at this age- can be very convincing, but you have to be strong and stand your ground. Please don't get upset and take this as a lecture, I'm just trying to help. I knew way too many friends in h.s. and college that ended up getting pregnant. OF course, each one thought that it WOULD NEVER HAPPEN TO THEM, but it did.
take care =)
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what are other ways to get pleassure and give pleassure with out him sticking it in ?
- Bre 14/f (link)
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You can masturbate together, either do each other or do yourselves but together. You can practice cumming at the same time. You will also learn about how you each like to be pleasured by watching the other person do it themselves.
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hi, im 14 and a month i haven'tstarted my period so im worried how can i make it come and i lied to my best friend saying i just started it i feel scared she may find out please help and i masturebate with random stuff in the toilet and i think i scratched myself in there when i fingered myself does this affect periods when you atart?
thanks in advance (link)
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clouded-blue is right, as soon as you DO get it, you will wish you hadn't!
As for your friend, no big deal. When a lot of girls first get it it's very sporadic. You might be it once and then not get it again for a few months or more. So don't worry about her finding out. And of course, you could also always just say that you made a mistake and thought you had it. So don't worry about it.
=)
Update:
sporadic means not predictable, as in there is no consistent, reliable pattern. Ex: someone who does side jobs but never knows when they'll get their next job could say that their jobs (and paychecks) are sporadic.
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15/f
There were many times when I felt like killing myself because I'd hate my life and I'd get into deep depression, like I'd cry myself to sleep...I wanna stop feeling that way, but I don't know how! Well, somedays I'll feel all great, but than other days I'll feel really depressed...I'm just hoping that one day it doesn't go too far so that I'll actually kill myself! What can I do to prevent myself from suicide??? (link)
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I've been there before too and it's hell-ish. You won't be that way forever though, you will come out of it. But you may not be able to get out of it without professional help.
A good start is seeing a professional counselor. Can you talk to your parents about this and get them to take you to one? A psychiatrist can also give you meds, if necessary. But you need to be very careful with the meds because some people, especially teenagers, can actually get worse on the meds. So you have to be monitored very closely if you choose to go this route. I don't want you to exclude that option though, because for other people they do work very well. So that doesn't mean don't try meds, it just means be alert.
If at any time you do think that you could go through with it and are a danger to yourself, call 911. You can also call a suicide hotline, but from my experience those aren't always that great. They often have volunteers working there who are not licensed professionals.
One more thing- make sure that you are taking care of the basics- that's VERY IMPORTANT.
Remember this acronmym: HALT.
It means don't let yourself get too:
Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
Not eating, lack of sleep, isolating yourself from people, all of those things make it WORSE, so try to at least take care of those basics.
Meantime, things WILL get better. You don't think that now, but they will.
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Everytime I'm with my boyfriend we make out, h.j's, b.j's, fingering.. like all of that stuff... we do it like alotttt. atleast 4 times every time we're together.. so like, 4 times in 5 hours. But do you think he's using me? like I feel like he always wants to do stuff!
what do you think!? (link)
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Some people have strong sexual appetites than others. You don't seem too happy with the size of his appetite.
So you should talk with him and see if you can't come to a compromise that can make both of you happy.
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is being wet having discharge? without the good feeling or whatever...and if not then what is being wet and how do you know its coming?
(link)
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Are you talking about getting wet when you get excited (aroused)?
If so, that is natural. It's your body's way of providing a natural lubrication so you will be ready for intercourse. If it didn't get wet that it would be very uncomfortable to have sex.
And being wet has nothing to do with cumming. Cum is what is released after an orgasm (females can release a fluid too, but not like guys do).
Hope this answers, your question was kinda vague.
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why are people always like "oh you shouldnt have sex you're too young, wait for marriage." just because one person believes you should wait til marriage doesnt mean everyone else does and has to abide by that. people shouldnt be judged on what age they want to have sex at. it is THEIR opinion. and if they regret it, at least they learned from it. everyone makes mistakes. it is their OWN lives and people shouldnt tell them how to live or what to do.
i know I HATE when people tell me what to do.
i can make my own decisions. (link)
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ALL teenagers hate when people tell them what to do.
And ALL adults which they could teach teenagers some lessons from the stupid mistakes that they made as teenagers. LOL.
This is just a fact of life. Has always been like that, and probably always will be.
Some things just don't change.
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Ok so if you have sex in the jacuzzi, wouldnt water go up some hole? And doesnt the sperm swim around.. o_o
This might sound stupid but its major curiousity right now! (link)
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Please remember also that you can still get pregnant having sex in a hot tub. There are rumors that you can't, don't believe that.
As far as the othe stuff of the sperm swimming around, I don't think you'd notice anything! Can water get up you? yes.
That's the best I can do. =)
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alright so i have my period and my boyfriend wants to have sex, and cum inside me what is the chances of pregnancy if we do this? (link)
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Sperm can live inside you for DAYS, so you can still very easily get pregnant even while on your period.
So please, for your own good and his, don't risk it. It's not worth it.
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My anus hole is really itchy... is that normal what should I do about it?? (link)
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You might have hemorroids. Have you been constipated lately or having a hard time going? The best thing to use is preparation H- in any drugstore or grocery store.
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When will signs of pregnancy start showing up? (link)
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They may not. There have been women who had babies and never even knew they were pregnant.
So if you think you may be then you should get a test asap. If you can't go to a dr. or get a home test from the store then find a planned parenthood in your area. They give tests, education, etc. either free or almost free. Here's their website:
www.plannedparenthood.org
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