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April 14, 2006Answers:
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Hiya, my names Claire. I'm 16 and I live in England. I live with my dad, my older brother and my younger sister. I have a pretty complicated family situation, so although yours may not be the same, I can probably replate to something of the confusion and hurt people with broken families feel.I'm a Christian, and I guess that is reflected in most of my responses to questions. Compared to some people, I've had a pretty good 16 years of life so far, not huge amounts to complain about. But there have been times when I've really needed to rely on God to pull me through and he's never EVER failed me. I trust his promises completely, and I depend on Christ with all my heart
advice
so this guy crashed my bat mitzvah and he thinks i wanted him there (thats why he came). We dated about 8 months ago. He told me multiple times throughout the past month that he really likes me, but he leaves my bff comments on her myspace telling her thats shes pretty, smart, blah, blah, blah. My bat mitzvah was last weekend and he showed up and it was a black tie affair and stuff. Security took him out and he when he got home he started posting myspace bulletins about me saying i was a whore and stuff like that. he says that if anyone owes an apology, i owe him one for the security. About 5 hours before my bat mitzvah service (before the party) he promised me that he wouldnt crash it. As you can see, he lied. Its been about a week since it happened but im still mad at him for what he did. Hes always trying to talk to me or kiss me to "try and make up for what he did wrong." What should I do? at school we all have advisors (theyre actually teachers but theyre assigned to four students and we all meet every week). i told my advisor about the incident and she is not only my advisor, she's HIS teacher. the school knows about what happened and everything and theyve talked to him. He still doesnt think he did anything wrong and he wants me to have a relationship with him... I like someone else, but hes insisted that i Cant like the someone else. hes a freshman in high school and im in 8th grade. were both 14, but im older than him. my myspace is www.myspace.com/party so if u could help me out either there or on advicenators, that would be amazing ♥ and do you think i should forgive him?
The guy sounds like an idiot. He's trying to get your attention in any way he can because he thinks if you keep thinking about him, you'll eventually want him back. He can't stand the thought of you ignoring him or wanting another guy. So do just that, tell him your bored of his childishness, you've moved on and he should do the same. Go ahead and like other guys, just dont give him any attention, and he'll soon get over it and move on.
Homecoming is coming up, and I don't have a date, nor do I think I will get one. My friends Alex and Kim (both girls)say I should go with them since they don't have dates either. I really want to go, so what I was thinking is I would bribe my friend Ty (boy) into taking me, and we would still go with Alex and Kim. Before I knew them, Alex had a crush on Ty, and he found out and started teasing her and flirting really bad with her, so now she kind of hates him, but he is an assistant coach on her swim team so she tolerates him. The other problem is he is 19 and I am 16. My parents don't have a problem with me asking Ty, so I was wondering if I should ask Ty to take me knowing the history with him and Alex.
I'd say don't risk it. You'll have a great time jsut going with your girlfriends and you won't upset Alex. Besides, why would you want to go with a guy that you have to bribe to take you? Its not worth going with a guy unless he asks you out of his own choice and really wants to go with you. Put your friendships first, and have a good time!
me and one of my guy friends have been friends for like, 4 years and everyone always says we should go out. we always laugh it off and say that we never would because were just friends but the more i think about it the more i kind of get what everyone is saying. we get along really well and our personalities to match up pretty good but i have that lame fear that if we go out that we wont be friends if it doesnt work. i dont have a thing for him, or much of one anyways but i could see myself with him. i want to try it out and date him but i dont know if hes thinking what i am and i dont know how to tell. were like best friends and everyone thinks we like each other or that were flirting or that were already going out. thanks soooo much
I've been in this situation a few times, and unfortunately damaged a coupkle of godo friendships. I agree with the person below me, that its worth the risk and you sometimes do just have to live for today. But, here's the thing. I'd say only risk it if you're both sure about it. Don't go in to a relationship that could ruin 4 years of great friendship, and a future with your best friend, unless you both know its the best thing to do. If you're not sure, and it souds like you're not: "i dont have a thing for him, or much of one anyways but i could see myself with him." then don't push it. I could see myself with a lot of my guy mates but I don't want it to happen because I know, if I'm being honest, I'll end up ruining our friendship. If you don't know if he wants a relationship like that, then theres no reason to try and make it happen now. The great thing about friends is you know they're not going anywhere... so just give it time, and only get into a relationship if you both really want it, not just because other people think it would work. It's you and him that's in this relationship, not anyone else. You've got a good thing going on, really good guy mates are hard to come across, hold on to him!
Hope it all works out, God bless
Claire
xxx
How do you know if someone is a true friend?
Hmm. Tricky question actually. I'd say there are a few key things to look for in a true friend.
- They can be honest with you, and not make things up to impress you or make you feel bad or make themselves look better.
- They can be open with you, and share themselves with you, knowing that you won't laugh or judge them.
- They allow you to be open and honest with them. You feel safe and comfortable enough with them to tell them whatever you like, knowing they won't judge you, laugh at you, or tell anyone else.
- They can always make you laugh.
- You can spend hours with them, just chilling and chatting, and still have a great time without having to do anything in particular.
- They know when you want to talk about something, and when to just give you space.
- They'll stick up for you, even when you're in the wrong.
- They'll tell you later, privately, that you were in the wrong.
- They'll never let you down, and forgive you when you screw up.
- They can tell when something's upsetting you, annoying you, or just getting you down without you having to say a word.
- They can tell its you when they answer the phone before yu've even said anything.
That last one might just be a weird t hing me and my friend have...
Hope some of that helped! God bless
Lately, me and my best friend have been on this "tell each other everything" phase. Shes been telling me things that I never even imagined were going on in her mind. These things include, how she thinks she is insane, but would never accept anyones help (her mother tried sending her to a therepist a few years ago, but it backfired), how she has another world in her mind she sometimes likes to escape to, even sometimes she forgets who she is. Before this talk, she seemed perfectly normal to me. She insists she is fine, and insists nothing can help her, and the best thing that is helping is me just talking to her. We have recently decided not to talk about it so much, and she really does seem fine. I would never disobey her trust enough to tell someone else, but is there anything I can say to her that might help her?
I'd say even if you're not going to talk about it so much, find a way to maintain the closeness of being able share everything. When you stop talking like that for a while, its hard to get it back when one of you does want to properly share something. So make sure you're regularly chatting about serious stuff as well as the usual light hearted chatter, and then if and when she does want to talk things through, or think of something you can do to help, she'll feel comfortable enoguh to confide.
xxxxx
what kind do you have?? =] jen
I only have MSN at the moment
claire..for instant messenger..
There's a lot of different instant messengers!
whats ur s/n! mine is J0PEK9
thanksss =]--jen!
s/n for what?
hey my name is jen and im around your age and i was wondering if i could add you into my favs because you seem really nice! thank you! =] jennifer
Wow, thanks! Yeah, sure, I'll add you back [=
I don't know if this counts as racism, but my friend doesn't really care or know about the difference between Orientals such as Koreans, Japanese, Chinese, etc. It's not that she disses the races but she doesn't get who is who and says "Japanese, Korean, whatever" or "Chinese, Korean, same difference." She also calls me a different race than I am and her family always asks me if I get my stuff from China when I buy my stuff here. I was born in the U.S. and the question really irritates me. I think her dad's the only normal one. She's not Oriental herself but she is Asian. (I don't really want to give anything away because it is probably rude, I don't know). How do I teach her about the differences? I am Oriental but I need some help. Thanks in advance!
Next time she talks about an Oriental race, and doesn't know which nationality she is talking, you could suggest to her that she simply uses the word Oriental instead. Then, while you're on the subject, gently tell her that people from other races won't midn her asking if she's not sure, and it's better to ask than just dismiss the difference. Perhaps you could introduce her to some people of specific races, and introduces them as Korean or Chinese or whatever race they happpen to be, so that she learns to associate the people with their race.
Good luck and God bless
So this is a last minute kind of deal, but I have a friend who is supposed to come over. My mom went out for a while, but i have no idea when she is coming back, or any way of calling her. Last time I talked to my mom she said if my friend comes over she'll have to get a ride. My friend found a ride, but I don't know whether I should tell her to come over or not. My mom DID say she could come over.
I don't really understand why you're friend shouldn't come over. If your mom did say it was ok, and your friend has a ride, then there shouldn;t be any problem.
Sorry if I've missed osmething, hope everything works out ok.
if you like someone but have a bf/gf is it considered cheating? jw.
It's fine as long as you're careful with yourself. It's not cheating, but if you're in a situation where you're alone together, you need to acknowledge your own feelings and be careful to get out if it looks like anything might happen between you. And consider your motives when wanting to spend time with them or be alone, keep in control.
Claire
xx
Last night I found out a bunch of my best guy friends smoke, drink, and do weed. I broke down cause you never really think it'll happen to you. Me and some of my other friends want them to get help, before its too late. What could we do; ( Annonymously if possible ) ?
If you care about them and are genuinely concerned, show them that without it seeming like you're critisising. Maybe you could do a bit of research, find some good informative websites and write an anonomous letter to one of them, with the websites on it, and jsut tell them that you're concerned and would be willing to help if they want it. After that theres not much more you can do...
Hope I helped.
Claire
xxx