I'm a 17 year old girl who has had her share of problems. So I'll do my best to answer questions and you can leave a question anytime in my inbox. :)
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Member Since: October 31, 2010
Answers: 211
Last Update: January 5, 2012
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bewise
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a few months ago, I became really close friends with a guy who I was in band with (he's a senior and i'm a freshman). we would text everyday and sit together on bus rides. it always seemed like he was flirting with me but nothing ever really happened until one bus ride where we held hands. i started to trust him more and i ended up telling him a big secret of mine a few weeks later. he helped me through a hard time and he asked me if i liked him...i wasn't sure but i told him yes. later he told me that i shouldn't like him. i kinda covered it up but after that, we started talking less and he started hanging out with my best friend instead of me. what hurt me the most was seeing them hold hands and talk and how he stopped talking to me. looking back on it all, i do miss him but i also realized that he is really full of himself and he's kind of a jerk. despite that, i think about him all the time and it makes me really sad. what are some ways that i can get over him and our used-to-be friendship. (link)
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I hate guys who are like that. It probably will be hard to get over him but you will eventually. It sucks because he acted like you guys were close and could possibly have more than that since you guys held hands. Try to concentrate on other things now. New friends, new boys. You will get over him or start to like him less. There will also be times when you see them together and get sad again, but it won't last long and if you try your best to forget about him, you will get over him.
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So there's this guy, He used to go my school but then he moved. A couple of months ago he commented on my picture on facebook and told me I was cute then messaged me, we started talking and then he asked for my number so I gave it to him. At the time he had a girlfriend. He would text me everyday and say "good morning gorgeous" usually I would think that would be a cute thing to wake up to but I kind of feel like he was playing me since he had a girlfriend. So I would respond and be really short with him. I then saw about a week later his status on facebook was "went from a relationship to single" he would continue to text me and flirt with me, but I didnt flirt back with him because I didn't like him at the time. He would ask me questions about my sex life, and ask me if I had a boyfriend and all this stuff. I told him that I didnt have a boyfriend and to stop asking me questions like that and that I was willing to be his friend and thats all. He said he understood, and we continued to talk as friends. Then I realised he's really nice and cute and I want to get to know him better. but He hasn't texted me in 2 days, and when he doesnt text me it makes me really sad. but when he did text me he would creep me out and I would want him to leave me alone. What is wrong with me? I want to text him, but I feel like if I do i'll come off as annoying. Guys, when a girl texts you first do you find it annoying or do yall think its cute? What should I do?! i'm scared to make the first move? do yall think I should continue talking to him or not go down that road since he started talking to me while he had a girlfriend? (link)
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I wouldn't go for a guy like him. He started talking to you while he had a girlfriend. Who knows, maybe they were having problems or maybe he's the type of guy that plays around with girls.
Either way, if you two started dating, he would probably be doing the same thing.
You liked the attention you got from him but at the same time he would creep you out with all those text messages about sex and stuff right?
So that kinda shows that he's definitely into sex and that's probably what he's gonna want from you if you guys get involved.
Well it's all up to you in the end. I'm sure you can find a better guy but if you want to keep talking, then go ahead. But he doesn't sound like a very good guy.
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Last year, I made a Facebook account and was proud of it, until now. I have about a hundred or so friends online but none offline. I feel kinda ashamed because people might wonder why an outcast like me would make an fb account. So should I delete my account or what? (link)
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You should keep your account. I have about 275 friends on facebook. Half of them I don't really talk to. Most of them are just people I'm acquaintances with but I wouldn't call them my friend. I have about 15 or 20 actual people I would consider friends on my facebook. The rest I'm just friendly with.
You shouldn't care about what other people think anyways. If you like facebook then keep it. Don't let other people control what you want to do.
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People like my eyes, they say I talk, but not a lot, and really nice. My hair just gets in the way of everything though, poofy/wavyish. I just want more friends to hang out and talk with though. (link)
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Looks aren't really even that important when you make friends. Well it helps a little if you look nice and presentable so that the people you're talking to aren't a little thrown off. If you're nice and friendly, you can make friends easily.
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Hey ! (:
im 12 years old and im a girl im turning 13 in december and i have a guy friend who i've been hanging out with lately i guess im starting to like him alot and getting deep emotions for him. He could be mean but he just jokes around with me and we always hug and we kinda held hands once but i dont think it ment anything special to him like it did to me? i really like him and i wanted to ask him out but i dont wanna ruin our friendship or get rejected ): i dont know what i should do since i reallyy like him ): (link)
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I'd just start slow to find out how he feels about you because you don't want to ruin a friendship. Just hang out with him more, like go to a movie or something and see where it goes from there.
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alright.. so basically there's this girl. she used to be my bestfriend (lets call her sally) well sally was my boy bestfriend's girlfriend (jimmy) so my two bestfriends were dating. everything was great, until i realized sally was being a huge whore. i was jimmy's bestfriend first.. so after i debated what to do for a while i told him how she would flirt with every guy she could get her hands on. he yelled at her but they made up, and i was fine with that. i thought " ok, now she's scared that they'll break up and she wont flirt anymore" well that didnt work. she kept flirting.. so i told him again. this time i even had proof she did (pictures, texts, etc) so they broke up.. i didnt want to tell sally i did this because she was still my bestfriend and i didnt want to loose her. i just didnt like her choices. sally ended up finding out and we found for like two days. sally would always be a bitch to me and treat me bad.. so i didnt really mind. they ended up getting back together after a day.. and me and sally ended up making up. sally is a grade below me, jimmy, and all of the other kids who hated sally (everyone hated sally because she was a huge bitch) so sally comes up to me and tells me how everyones talking shit about me and how i turned into a bitch and shes just being really rude to me. well now most of the people who hated her are friends with her and all turning at me and calling me a bitch and a backstabber and that i start all the drama... when really this is the first drama i've EVER started. and i didnt even start it, i was just involved. the guy who started this in the first place is bitching at me now. he constantly talked shit about sally then one day, just to SUCK UP to jimmy, he became friends with her and started spreading lies about how i always talk shit about sally which i dont. and i didnt tell jimmy to break up with sally, i just told him what his girlfriend had been up to because i was his bestfriend. sally played the nervous game with another guy and grabbed his dick, jimmy deserved to know that. but anyways... life just kind of sucks now and everyone thinks im mean but really im the sweetest girl ever. i need help on how to get my reputation back ;\ (link)
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Wow this kind of drama sucks. You did do the right thing by telling Jimmy about what his girlfriend was doing. You weren't doing it to break them up, you were being the good friend.
My opinion is that you need to find new friends. Sally will probably never be the right friend for you because of how she acts and treats you. Jimmy keeps making the mistake by going back to her and if he's mad at you then that is extremely stupid.
Find friends that aren't like that and are grateful to have you around.
With your friends right now, let everything die down. There isn't much you can do because Sally is telling lies and people like to believe those more.
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18/f
so my two best friends are turning into sluts. every weekend we go out together and they sleep with a different guy. sometimes they don't even use protection. they're getting an awful reputation. they're also sleeping with guys who have girlfriends. i've talked to them about it and they just say they know what they're doing and that they're careful. i'm really concerned about them because they have always been there for me and are the nicest and best friends i could ever ask for (don't really feel like elaborating but they really are true friends). I just don't know what to do :/ I also don't want people to think I'm a slut because I'm best friends with them (even though I'm a virgin hah). (link)
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Well you should talk to them again but there is a very big chance they won't listen anyway. There isn't much you can do in this situation. I know you love them so obviously you're gonna want to change and help them but they won't always want that. You should just stay the better influence and hope that maybe they'll see what you're doing is better.
People will probably think you're a slut because you're best friends with them. It's just how it is. So if you don't want people thinking that, then you shouldn't be around them. Other than that, I don't think there is anything else you can do.
Good luck!
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this is really long, SORRRRYYYYY..... these people who are supposed to be my friends have been ruining my life for awhile now and this is the first time i've been able to explain it since late last year.
so, i've been friends with one of the girls, let's call her Mary, for a really long time. we had some REALLY good times together, and me & her were each other's best friends. then last year, she got a new friend, let's say her name is Barbie (lol first thing that popped in my head) and i was kinda forced to be friend with her too. that was fine with me, and of course i was a little jealous but not enough to say anything. i wasn't really bothered. then this year, everything changed. we were the 3 best friends to each other in the school until late last year, when out of nowhere, both girls completely ganged up on me, telling me i've been bringing them down ever since i met them, that i'm a bad influence, and all this other shit. i was soooo hurt, but luckily the fight only lasted for 2 weeks.. but ever since then nothing has been the same. i never know when they're really ok with me, or when they're secretly thinking i'm ruining their lives or something crazy again! the day before the fight, i had absolutely NO idea anyone was mad at me. they gave no hints whatsoever, texted me and stuff.. then the next day, i was the worst person in the world. so i can never know!
that's fight #1. next one only lasted 1night, but got me REALLY paranoid. I had a twitter, where i would put down all my thoughts and feelings.. it was like a diary. i have friends on there, it was just my owl little world to escape. everyone needs somewhere to vent, and since i obviously couldn't to my "friends" i did to my online friends who actually could help me sometimes! well,of course, Mary & Barbie (ahaha) find the Twitter, and text me telling me how much of a bitch i am for ever being mad at them. ......... like they never. did. anything. wrong. for example, i remember one of the tweets was calling someone a bitch. i was watching MTV for christ's sake! and both Mary AND Barbie accused me of calling them a bitch. on the tweet that was sent like 4 months ago. so they crawl into my own thoughts, and get mad about how i feel. the only reason we resolved the fight is because they both ganged up on me again, and said i had to "confess" to saying what i did. so i did, even though the tweets honestly weren't about them.. so that led me into a spot where i can't be unhappy, ever, and if i am, i can't express it in any way because then i'd be emo therefore ruining their lives.
yes, there's a fight #3, but it only lasted 2 days and it was only with Barbie.. it started on a friday that was an EXTREMELY BAD DAY FOR ME. worst day ever. so i didn't talk much, cuz i couldn't or i'd be "emo". but at one point, i called my mom and she was cussing me out so i had to break down and cry. THAT was the reason Barbie got mad at me. because i cried, she got the idea that i cut myself. not even kidding. she said she hated me, because i was annoying, emo, and i cut myself. ....... Mary was REALLY nice about it all, was on my side (for once) but remained friends with Barbie. Barbie soon acted like none of it happened, and hugged me. never really apologizing, which was becoming a trait. to this day i haven't gotten 1 apology!
soooooooooooo NOW I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. should i just ditch them or something and become a loner? when they're being normal friends to me i have a lot of fun, but it's too much to handle not being able to think straight. i'm SO afraid of having another fight, i'll agree to anything they say. i sound like a fucking loser right now but seriously, i don't know what to do right now. i'm REALLY SORRY THIS HAD TO BE SO LONG but I really just need some help on this :( (link)
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To be honest, I just think you need new friends. I'd say talk to them about it but they might not work with that and drama would probably happen eventually anyway.
I think you should just go find new friends and people who would actually appreciate your friendship because these two will never be happy with what you do no matter how hard you try. Don't stress too much about this, just cut them out. You deserve better. Good luck!
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My former best friend is a boy. He was the only one who could understand me. Now that we're not friends anymore, I'm confused. I'm jealous when he's with other girls, and I feel crumpled when he's laughing with others, not me. When I see him, my heart pounds and I feel happy. Do I love him or not? I'm so confused! (link)
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Well you might just like him a lot. Love is completely different and when you know you love him, you know and you won't usually question it. Anyway, it's obvious you do like him a lot and may love him as a person but not that whole in love kind of thing.
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16/f
it's going to be valentines day and one of my close friends wants to spend the day together. the thing is i don't really feel like spending time with her. on friday she made a very rude comment towards me, i just laughed it off. She's not the type of person you can talk to about how she makes you feel, it will just create an argument. I also recently stopped smoking weed in order to get myself together and she expects me to smoke with her every time we're together.
pros of going tomorrow:
-i might get to see the guy i like because whenever i hang out with my friend we usually invite him over since he lives close
- i get to get out of the house (very stressful house situation)
cons:
-i waste my money (i always pay for everything with her)
-part of me will feel miserable being with her
should i go? if so what should we do? any other opinions will be highly appreciated. (link)
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I wouldn't hang out with her. You'll be miserable if you stay home but also with her. I'd find something else to do to get out of the house. Even a guy wouldn't be worth feeling miserable. Try finding some other way to hang out with him. Well, I wouldn't go but it's all up to you and how you feel about it. Good luck!
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I started to realize my friend who I became friends with at the beginning of the school year is a complete loser. She looks like she has a mustache and she doesn't use common sense. She's really ugly, annoying, and hangs out with complete losers.
One of my friends dumped me last year because of popularity and I wasn't popular, I'm not popular, I probably never will be, but I will be considered a 'cool geek'.
Okay here is why I don't want to be her friend:
~She has a mustache and wears boots every day, not cute boots but horse riding boots or what looks like those kinds of boots.
~She has a mustache
~She went out with a complete loser
~She doesn't use common sense
~Is friends with other losers, one of which looks like a hippy
~She calls me her 'gym buddy'
~SHE WATCHES SOAP OPERAS(and in seventh grade)
~She doesn't have a facebook, cell phone, or email.
So how do I dump her without hurting her feelings? I've been kind of ignoring her lately. . .why should I do?!! Also all of he losers I mentioned are losers according to everyone except heir 'friends'. Oh and we are in seventh grade 13 years old she is 12 though. (link)
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No offense but you're gonna end up being one of those stuck up girls that nobody likes if you keep this kind of stuff up.
She might not wear the cutest clothes or be the prettiest girl but you don't need to judge someone because of what she looks like or what other people say about her.
If those are the reasons why you don't want to be her friend, then you have some stuff to figure out.
Popularity isn't everything.
You said one of your friend dumped you because you weren't popular. You wouldn't want those kinds of friends. Why would you want to be that way towards someone else?
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Okay i need help okay theres this girl named amber and shes my best frend and i think she likes my boy friend because she has fourth period with him and shes allway talking to him she says they talk about me and how he loves me and i know my boy friend he would never go out with my best friend but since we have only been going out for about 6 weeks im scared and i dont know what to to do and i allways ask her if she likes him and she says no way hes so ughy but it seams like it so give me so tips thanks,
Abby (link)
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I've had those doubts too. You're just gonna have to move past it all because not trusting people will get in the way and could ruin not only your friendship, but also your relationship with your boyfriend. You said you know your boyfriend will never go out with your best friend, right? So why do you need to worry? If she likes him, then thats her problem. Not yours. You have him and she doesn't. Don't ask her if she likes him anymore because you need to trust her. Don't think too much about it because your boyfriend is your boyfriend. She can like him or do whatever but he's still yours. It's not gonna be your problem unless they actually do something. They have a class together and they talk and they even talk about how much he loves you. So don't worry about it too much. Work on your trust. Good luck!
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me&bestfriend have been bestfriends for 10 years now! always honest with eachother and talk about everything. But i think we're drifting away..whenever others talk to her she will be extra nice to them and talk to them more and be sweet,and seems to be getting along with more people now and talks to them more than me. and when she does talk to me its only a couple of sentences. and if shes online and i say hi shes suddenly offline. and when i write on her wall on fb she takes days to reply but yet when the other person writes on it she replies straight away. but when we're together we have the funnest time, is she bored of me? i get really mad, if she doesnt wana be friends then say so! (link)
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I've been best friends with my friend for about 9 years. In a way, it did kind of start getting like this. I'm sure you have other friends right? Hang out with them and talk to them more. Don't completely lose your best friend though. Just don't talk to her so much. I mean, me and my best friend go to different schools so I only saw her about twice a week and we'd talk on the phone every other day. We wouldn't talk too much though but we both are best friends. I don't know if you get what I'm saying but pretty much I would give her space so when you guys do talk it wouldn't seem too boring or she wouldn't want to. You know? Good luck!
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is it ok to go out with a guy after my best friend did?plz answer need help fast!! i rate high! (link)
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You should first talk to your best friend. She might say that she won't care if you go out with him but she might actually care. So have a serious talk with her about it. Make sure you know if she's being serious or not. You don't want to lose a good friend over a guy.
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so i dated a guy for about 3-4 months in the beginning of the year. everything was good but i felt him as more like a good friend than a boyfriend, so i ended it- i told him this, which is the complete truth. at first he was fine with it and said it was mutual. so we were on good terms, we still talked and were good friends still. then over the summer we hungout and he just randomly kissed me. i was shocked but i kinda just went along with it to see what would happen (just a kiss nothing else). then after that night we started hanging out more and went back to like we were dating again (hooking up, sexual stuff, etc) only not official. i figured it was just a casual friends with benefits relationship and it wasn't going to hurt anyone since he said the breakup was mutual. then after like a month or 2 i told him that i couldn't do it anymore because it didn't feel right to me. he accepted it and we were just friends again. then after another month or 2 he out of the random got mad at me and told me i was a bitch and that i screwed him over (randomly). i don't even know what i did that was wrong and he wouldn't tell me. he told me to delete his number(i did). and he deleted me off facebook and everything. it really bothers me that i don't know what i did to him. can you figure out what he might be thinking of from what i said? and i deleted his number but i can get it back. should i text him? its been like a month since he flipped out on me. what should i do? i've tried to just ignore it but i feel like an awful person because i really didn't mean to screw him over and if it was that bad i want to make it up to him. thanks. (link)
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Well honestly, it doesn't sound like any of this is your fault. He said it was mutual and if he wanted to he could've said that he still wanted you so that you guys could watch what you do. So yeah, none of this is your fault. If he wants to talk to you again and try to fix whatever happen. Let him. Don't try to talk to him about it. You should just try to forget about it. You did nothing wrong so don't feel bad. Good luck!
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I stupidly told one of my "friends" who my other friend liked when I know I shouldn't have and he promised not to tell anyone. We have had a fight and he is threatning to tell her that I told him. I know it was a stupid mistake, but I can't take it back. I don't want her to find out or I might lose her as a friend. What do I do?!? Plus, I thought I could trust him. I feel as if, I can't trust anyone anymore. He was one of my good friends and now it seems like I can't even trust my friends. (link)
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Well, he doesn't really seem like a good friend but you know you can't take it back. So you're just gonna have to move forward with this. This isn't gonna be something that will last forever so just think of it that way. You know never to tell that guy anything else. I think you should just tell your friend that you had told him her secret and apologize. She might be mad but that's ok, she'll come around. Everyone makes mistakes. Just be honest with her and it would make it easier if she already knew that finding out from your "friend". Good luck!
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He had me text her to ask what she thinks of him: So here is what I texted, "I work with someone I think you know, what do you think of him, would you ever go on a date with him?" and she texted back an hour later, "No thanks." I never brought it up to her again. It's been weeks and it's been awkward at work. All he talks about is how great she looked 2 days ago when he saw her again. He has had rejections like this before and has taken it really hard. Poor self-esteem. How do I break it to him that, she's just no that into him, softly? (link)
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Just tell him. He should have gone up to her himself and tried talking to her. What girl would want a guy who has friend text her? But just either show him the texts or just tell him she's not interested. Good luck!
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