about

Hey, I'm Samm and I'm 15-year-old freshman at Downingtown East High School. I've got a pretty average teenage life, except I'm in no way your average person. I doubt you'll ever meet someone exactly like me.



Feel free to drop one by in my inbox and I'll tell you what to do to the of my best ability in any situation. But remember, if it doesn't seem right, then don't do it. It's only my advice, not me telling you what to do.


PLEASE don't repeat questions. I appreciate all ratings and feedback, so please do it. It really gives me a good feel for how my advice is. Also, if you don't rate, and my advice is crap, I'd like to know so that I don't run the risk of telling someone to do that again.


Thanks.. and.. I hope I helped. =) ♥

advice

im in 8th grade and I have this friend who i am very close to. She is atrting to get involved with the wrong kind of people and i dont know wat to do. please help. I RATE HIGH

Well, if she's getting involved with the wrong crowd, than you have to make sure that you care about her too much to allow her to get into things that will harm her, like drugs, alcohol, sex. If she says that they're "really okay people" than just respond by saying something along the lines of, "I understand they may seem great, but you have to make sure that you stay healthy and are able to stand up for yourself if they try to involve you with dangerous things." You can't decide who she's friends with, but you can always help her out. No matter what she does, promise to be by her side. Good luck

[view]

I have a good-tight group of friends, and about a couple of months ago a "new girl" started dating my best guy friend. She now considered herself part of our group. And she ruined me. She dumped my bestfriend just recently and blamed it completly on me. Saying basically that its my fault of being his best friend and that he ignores her when im there. So suddenly thats my fault for being there for him when he needed somebody to talk to. So now shes got most of my best friends on her side, and is hurting my feelings constantly. I tried talking to her about it and she was just as mean. She said she doesnt blame my best friend for being mad at me now. Shes ruined my last few weeks of school. I just dont understand what i should do. So thats why im here. How do i fix this and get my friends back and my life back and to stop her from being so cruel?

Well, if she's going to be rude and stupid when you try to talk to her, than she's not the one you should be talking to. You should be talking to the friends that have turned on you. Even though it seems like they're no longer there for you, they probably are just afraid of what this new girl has been saying. If you talk to them, I'm sure that they'll be perfectly understanding. If not, I would start getting involved with new people this summer. Like the people that wrote in your yearbook, "we should hang out this summer.. call me!" Even though you think they don't mean it, they do. And if your best guy friend still respects you, start hanging out with him this summer. If "new girl" gets pissed, she can get over it. She dumped him, so she obviously doesn't know a good thing when she sees it. Good luck!

[view]

my friend really liked this guy and she said she was over with liking him on like friday and now she is all like ooh i really like him again, butim sortof starting to like him too. would it be really wrong of me as a friend to go out with him or even like him? thanks

I think that you should talk to her about it and just say that you're developing a crush on him as well and see what she says. But I would steer clear of falling for the "friend's crush." It's never a good idea.

[view]

I have this friend, and like she never has time for me anymore and whenever i ask her to do something she's always doing something with her other friends or just ditches me for them. But she means a lot to me and there are sometimes when shes a good friend i guess. I just hate feeling like im only her friend when she has nothing else to do. What should i do??

If she blows you off all the time, then don't deal with her. I mean, if she asks you to hang out, than that's cool.. but you can't constantly wait for this girl who just ditches you. If your friendship with her means a lot to you.. then you could try to work it out by making plans in advanced, but if the friendship is bogus, don't deal with her.

Hope I helped.

[view]

Hey Sam,
Okay..basically I have been best friends with somebody for a really long time..BUT, this year in 8th grade I have grown really really close with a different group of people...I mean, we all hang out, but I'm best friends with them and considering how me and my other "best friend" act..we aren't even really that good of friends at all. The problem is, she still thinks we are best friends. I don't know what to do because she is really starting to annoy me and I have recently been coming up with reasons why not to hang out with her..=\ i know that it is so mean and I realize how much of an ass I'm being...but its really starting to get to me and I have no idea how to handle it. If you could help...you would most definately be my hero haha.

Thanks!!

It all depends if you still want to be friends with her anymore. If you don't want to be involved with her anymore because you feel like you just have nothing in common anymore, gradually stop hanging out with her, but you don't have to lie about it. Make sure all of your weekends are filled up with plans with your new friends. If you see this girl in the hall, don't really pay a great amount of attention to this girl, but be polite. If she waves acknowledge her existance. Eventually, your friend should catch the drift. Basically, don't associate yourself with her anymore, but there's no need to be rude to her. Put yourself in her shoes. And just because you're not best friends doesn't mean you can't be regular friends or aqaintences! Hope that helped.

[view]

hey sam,
i really, really like this guy. i dont know hes really nice, and he makes me smile whenever im around him. the problem is my best friend likes him just as much as me. although i think he likes me. i dont know what to do. if you could help me out that would be awesome-cause im really stuck!
thank so much, your advice is the best!

Uh-oh.. This could get sticky. Does your friend know that you like him? Because you have to let her know, otherwise she might think you're stealing him from her. Basically, make sure you two vow to not let this guy get in between your friendship. If she gets him, be genially happy for her. If you get him, don't rub it in her face. But, hey... Instead of battling it out, why don't you look for a new guy?

Hope it helped.

[view]

okay well i asked that question about missa. and brittany and where all the girls in my grade come to the bathroom with me and so on..

Heres the story:

I IM'ED Marisa and I questioned "May i ask why you are mad at me and why you hate me?"

and she said:

Marisa: Yeah you may ask and heres the answer.. Because you talk about me behind my back.. You said im a backstabber.. You send my convos to people and try to get them to go against me.. your a spoiled brat.. you get pissed off when im hanging out with brittany.. And last but not least; You LIE.

Me: Okay, i never called you a backstabber... I never talked about you behind your back except the day you made me cry.. I ADMIT IT. I once sent a convo to brittany and nora when you said we arent friends anymore. And i was upset and they both helped me. I am a spoiled brat and i get everything i want. I do get jellous when you are with brittany but i suck it up, is that all a lie? no its all the truth.

Marisa: Yeah well i dont know if we can be friends with eachother anymore, i dont trust you!

Me: I don't know you are throwing away a good friendship and really im not going to come crawling back and if you do im going to reject your plead.

Marisa: You were ging to back stabb me anyways

Me: NO I WASNT!

Marisa: well thats what brittany said

********I IM BRITTANY************

Me: heyy

brit: heyy

Me: why did you tell missa that i was going to back stabb her, you are trying to just hogg her!

Brit signs off at 3:57:52 PM

**********MARISA IMS ME************

Marisa: why are you sending convos to people?

Me: im just asking brittany why she said that i was going to back stabb you

Marisa: Well I know you will i dont trust you!!

Me: dont okay, i apologize, but i dont think that you deserve a apology after what you did to me.

Marisa: bye

Me: bye


-------------------------------------------------


Do you think that i should get over her.. but now i have no friends and all of them went against me because marisa is making them and i feel heart broken....

should i apologize to god or should i forget about her?

x0o Brok3n

Never
ask
questions
like
that
ever
again
it
takes
forever
to
read
and
apparently
I
don't
care
about
every
word
that
went
on
in
the
conversations
with
your
friends.

Apologize to god? What? Apologize to Marisa. I'm not saying that you're going to have to be friends with her, but you should at least stop being friends on good terms. As for Brit, don't put her in the middle, she doesn't deserve that.

[view]

I have a question about my friend. Well I guess you could say she is one of my best friends.
Well we had made plans tonight to rent and movie and then watch it at her appartment. She told me to arrive by 8 o clock. Well she phoned me at 5 and I wasnt dressed or anything yet. She asked me if I could do her a favour. I said "sure" before I knew what I was in for. Well it turned out she had put an add in the paper to sell two of her cats (she has 5). She told me that the girl buying the cats needed a ride home and could I do it because she (my friend) doesnt have a car. I was a little annoyed because I wasnt ready and she needed me there right away. Well being the loyal friend I was I showed up and one of the cats had escaped from its carrier, and then my friend made me chase around the house for the cat instead of her doing it! We finally caught her and then I had to load up my car with both the cats and their toys. Now heres the kicker: After I loaded up my car with all the cats and toys, I said to my friend "your'e coming with me right"? After all I didnt want to drive a complete stranger somewhere in my car all by myself, I would want my friend to come with me. Also, we still needed to rent the movie. Then she says "no, I'm not coming! So I had to drive this person to her house (who was extremely rude to me by the way). Then I had to rent the movie by myself!! When I finally got back to my friends by around 6 and all she could talk about was how sad she was that she had to give up her cats!!! She finally noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her the girl I had to drive home was rude (but didnt mention I was more angry at her).
My question is, I am overeacting, or was that a really shitty thing that my "friend" did to me?

Completely rude. I mean, honestly, why would she leave you alone with a rude stranger to go waaaaaay out of your way and then complain to you? Rude, rude, rude. Bad friend.. bad! Next time, I would invite her over to your place.. and maybe have her do a little errand for you. =)

[view]

14/f...My friend Kate and I are crushing on the same guy, named Warren. I've only known him for about 2 weeks but Kate has known him for a whole year because they went to the same school last year. He talks to her way more than he talks to me because they are really good "friends." We both made a PROMISE that whatever happens we won't let him come between us. But whenever I see them talking I can't help but feel jealous. I know that I shouldn't be mad at her but I can't help what I feel. Please help me. I don't know what to do...in all parts of this situation.

Ughh, I know this situation all too well. Anyway, don't get mad at her.. just kind of snag him first. Flirt harder, make yourself up. But at the same time, it isn't a contest between you and your friend who can get him first. So flirt away.. but at the same time, keep your eyes open for other guys.

[view]

uhm this past weekend i did something really horrible to someone i really care about. and this girl is so amazing to me shes so nice and shes so much fun, and now its like were not friends and i dont know what to do. i just want to find some way to make it up to her. thanks.
b.

If you continue to try to make it up to her without asking how you can do so, she should forgive you in time. However, don't kiss up to her.. because kiss-ups are no fun. Appologizing is always a good start.

[view]

ok. so my friend, i love her to death! i just got to know her this year, like we new eachother but not to well. Lately though? She seems like shes mad or a little pissed at me. When i try to talk to her about it she says nothings wrongs but i know something is. But the thing is,she only acts this way around me. We both like the same guy and it's hard..but I am willing to give him up for her..like i just love her and I don't want to lose her. Please help..i just don't know what to do.

Aww.. I'm glad you made a new friend! Pissed at you, you're going to have to ask her. I know that people in general -especially girls- say that nothing is wrong.. but most of the time something is. Liking the same guy shouldn't be a big deal if she's a real friend. Not wanting to lose this girl is totally understanding.

But I don't know your situation. So you should just ask your new friend if/why she's mad at you. If she wants a good friendship.. she'll answer.

hih

[view]

i have this friend,Jenny. And then i have another friend,Sandra. So Jenny was talking to Sandra online, and then Sandra said something about me to Jenny, and Jenny telling me what Sandra said, was very hurtful to me because i am going threw some hard things in my life right now, and this is total oppisite of what i thought Sandra thought of me. And Sandra never told me how she felt about all of this. So i dont know what to do. i dont want to tell Sandra what Jenny told me, because then Sandra will get mad at Jenny.. this is all so confuseing, so if you could give me some advice, that would be SO greatly appreaceated. thanks.

Well, I think you should ask Jenny if it would be okay to confront Sandra about whatever the topic is. I think that Sandra doesn't sound like a true friend because she is talking behind your back. Jenny was also kind of wrong in what she did, but you should still ask her if you can talk to Sandra about it. If Jenny asks you not to say that it was you who heard, than don't mention her name or blame it on Jenny.

[view]

So, suddenly, my friend, let's call him Ian, starts completely ignoring me. It used ot be when he saw me, he'd get excited, make a face, run over and hug me, but now it's nothing. I'll be standing with a group of people, he'll come over, and he won't even look at me. I asked him about it on AIM, while his away message was up (my first mistake), but I don't know if he got it. He never mentioned anything about it or changed what he was doing.
This may be a coincidence, but it seems he started acting like this afterhe became friends with this one girl...
What do you think I should do about it?

Ian sounds like an idiot. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. I had to say it.

Anyway.. Maybe he likes this girl and is afraid that if the girl seems him with you, she'll think he's unavailble. Or maybe he's just goofy.

Talk to him about when he's there, why would you do that when he's away? He might think your mad, which is why he continues ignoring you. Or maybe you're just making it seem like it's this big huge deal that he's "ignoring you" when he might just not get in full "OH-EM-GEE-IT'S-MY-BEE-EFF-EFF mode".

Talk it over with him. If he's a good guy, he'll make you worth his time.

[view]

how are you supposed to respond to guys when they open up to you and tell you something personal... like that their dad has cancer, they are still in love with their ex, or their parents are getting divorced? i know how to comfort my friends that are girls, but guys, i dont know what to say... i'd really appreciate any ideas.

The same way you would with girls, minus the whole, "And you're so beautiful." I mean, what's the difference other than their penis and no boobs? Exactly.

[view]

This is getting really annoying. I have this friend who is kinda pretty. Everyone I know thinks she is DROP DEAD GORGEOUS and their obsessed with her and they say I am only popular cause of her.. which makes me mad. It also seems like she's avoiding me. And guys like her so much more than me. Idk if this friendship is getting too hard to handle!

=[

If she's your friend, then you can talk to her. If you're popular then you're popular. People aren't popular because they're annoying and loserish. Actually, they kinda are these days. But If she's avoiding you, that's not cool. As for the guys.. if you're friends with her and she has a lot of guy friends probably. Hang out with them and be YOURSELF. You could potentially make a whole bunch of new friends.. and maybe meet a boy that you're interested in. If you're worried about the friendship, talk it over with her. Write her a note. Do something special. Try to work it out, give her some time. But if that doesn't work, the friendship isn't worth it.

Hope I helped.. fill me in on what happens!

[view]

well.. I am really REALLY tight with this one that I met not too long ago.

here, ill make names= me=me bff=christy and friend who is okay, but butting into mine and christy's friendship=patty.

okay.. so christy and i spend all our time together.. well practically. so then.. since christy feels bad cause patty has barely any friends, she invites her over sometimes... and she tells me to invite her over sometimes. well.. patty is nice and all... and i would consider her one of my best friends... but she gets on my nerves and it seems to me like she wants to take christy away. it annoys me to . and even though i know christy will remain bffs with me, patty keeps telling me rumors and bad stuff about her, and it annoys me cause she will never fit in.

how can i get her to back off and leave christy alone?.. neither of us like her being around us!

Is this about me? Am I Patty!? But I don't really tell rumors...

Whatever.

Okay, well, Christy and you should just get together a lot. There is plenty of time for you two to have a blast together without inviting Patty every single time. After all, it IS summer.

But when school time comes around, you're going to have to tell her that she isn't wanted.. But don't use those words. Say something like, ''You're a really good friend to me, but sometimes I just want to hang out with Christy. And sometimes I want to hang out with just you. Some days, I like hanging out with all of us together.'' Just don't hurt her too much.

If you're too shallow for that, you could take the mean, easy route by doing things such as making friendship bracelets and don't make one for Patty. Harsh? Yep, and if you do that you'd be a horrible person. Remember, Patty doesn't have many friends, as you stated, so she probably feels some sort of loneliness. She might not be used to having solid friendships.

Give her another chance, that's all she might need.

Hope I helped.. fill me in on what happens!

[view]

Ok, so I have this friend: She and I have known each other since we were tiny, but then I moved away and forgot that I knew her. Then I moved back. We were in the same class in 5th grade and we became the best of friends, nothing would have ever happened to change that. Except middle school. And it came, and we stopped talking, and I honestly can't tell you how horrid that was. I would sit in my room and think of everything I wanted to tell her, but I didn't know if I could, if she would want me to. See, she got a bunch of new friends and I didn't feel like I was one of them.
Then came 7th grade, and boy, did I feel terrible. It was the first time that I hadn't talked to her as soon as I got home from school the first day, I thought I was going to cry. Later that year, we had a big long talk, and we decided that we had to work on keeping up, staying close. Then she started being really sad, which was so different from the way I knew her. She felt self-consious and lonely --Neither of which she should be, she's fabulous, and we are always there for her. But, the worst part was when she wrote in an online diary that she had started committing acts of bulimia. I physically felt the pain that she must have been feeling inside. I cried for her for hours, and the only thing I could think was "I don't think she understands how wonderful she is. How beautiful, inside and out, how much people love her when she is merely herself. How, people will not think of her any differently if she allows herself to cry and that they are probably clamoring to return the favors she has given them and offer her their shoulder." Now, I really need some help. How do I let her know how amazing, and beautiful, and lovely she really is?

But you just have to do stuff like this for her. You have to understand that she probably doesn't look into the mirror and see what you see in her, inside and out. I know that when I look in the mirror I can't stand it. I hate myself, inside and out. When I'm with my friends, I feel good. When I'm not, I feel depressed. So, there's only so much you, as a friend, can do for your friend. Just do spontaneous things that will make her feel good about herself. Be the great friend that you seem to be, as I can see from this entry.

And by you in person. You're the best. Thanks, Carrie.

Hope I helped.. fill me in on what happens!

[view]

hey, sorry this isn't a question .. its to the person who wrote
hey sam,
i was wondering if you could help me. what i did, was i just let my hands loose to type, and this is what i came up with. Ill copy and paste it from microsoft.

look, i d k you. nor do i have any idea who you are..when i read your questions i didn't hear one good thing about your self. yeah, maybe all those bad this are true.. but you have to have atleast ONE good thing..you have to.
if you just stop compairing your self to others, you will be much better off. if you stop looking at some one else's life and seeing what your missing .. and instead look at what you have, you will be happier.
maybe they hidd their tears. i know i do.
i dont tell people my problems at school.. but i just break down at home, my life ins't perfect.. but i do look at the good things that i have in my life.. and thats what gets me threw.
i hope you are okay, and i love you (even tho i dont kno who you are!)
Justine

Thanks Justine.. from one advicenator to another!!!

[view]

I have a best-friends and she and I are really close. ButI used to have another best friend and she and I got into a big fight nd we are not friends anymore. And now my best-friend is becoming really great friends with the other girl and it feels like im being pushed away. Like they have all these inside jokes and she talks about her and it just hurts. I've had many "best" friends and I just want to keep this one and I realize that I have to accept their friendship and things. And i have alreayd talked to my bff about it and she told me that she loves me and that they are becoming good friends. But the other girl and I just can'tr seem to get along and I want to make it work but... argh! Please just help!

I know that it's really hard for you, but if they're so oblivious to your feelings, maybe you should find some new friends. Tough, yes, but true. And maybe if you leave for a little while, they'll feel bad and see what's going on with you.. maybe pay more attention to you.

But I can't really understand your question because you didn't write names.. made it confusing. Can you please write a re-post and put in names.. even if it's Sally and Pineapplehead.. I don't care. I just need to figure out the difference between the two .. or is it three? .. people.

Hope I helped.. fill me in on what happens!

[view]

my friend is in a great depression. she has wrote things about almost cutting herself... but cant... wanting to die.... thinking she's ugly.... i really want to help her... but i dont know how. everyone tells her that she is beautiful, has the best personality, and everyone loves her... so why does she need a guy, and she hears this every time she reaches for help, but she hears it over and over again, but she needs to hear more. she decides that the truth is not what she wants to hear and just keeps doing what she does. i want to give her the biggist hugg, and just let her cry and cry inn my arms and to let everything just pour out of her.... but its hard for me to see her like this everyday. please. i really want to help and dont tell me thats she past the point of reason cuz theres always a silver lining. i need help to help her. thanx
*just wanna help her*

Okay, about the whole cutting thing.. this girl needs HELP! Seriously, if she is attempting at cutting herself and letting people know about it.. THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP! This is the biggest sign of all that I know of. She may need help more than I can.. or you can. She needs SERIOUS help.

She may be beautiful.. but can't see it. It's really hard for people to bring out the good and see the silver lining. When she sees herself in the mirror she probably picks out all of the horrible things that nobody even notices. But, she does. As many times you tell her that she is pretty, she's not going to see it.. temporarily. Continue telling her this, but she may not soak it in for awhile. It may take her months.. years. However, any compliments that she gets will be much appreciated in the long run. Make her feel loved.

As far as I can see though, you do make her feel great. But, it may not be enough for her at the moment. DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO MAKE HER HAPPY EVERY SECOND EVERY DAY! It is impossible.. it can't be done. It can NOT be done. Just do as much as you can.. without being stalker-like. While depressed people like to be talked to.. they do NOT like to be bombarded. Keep this in mind.

I really truly..
Hope I helped.. fill me in on what happens!

P.S. I am almost positive that this is about me. I tried as hard as I could to answer in the third person. Sorry if I slipped. And.....thank you.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker