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Is this rude or am I overeacting?
I have a question about my friend. Well I guess you could say she is one of my best friends.
Well we had made plans tonight to rent and movie and then watch it at her appartment. She told me to arrive by 8 o clock. Well she phoned me at 5 and I wasnt dressed or anything yet. She asked me if I could do her a favour. I said "sure" before I knew what I was in for. Well it turned out she had put an add in the paper to sell two of her cats (she has 5). She told me that the girl buying the cats needed a ride home and could I do it because she (my friend) doesnt have a car. I was a little annoyed because I wasnt ready and she needed me there right away. Well being the loyal friend I was I showed up and one of the cats had escaped from its carrier, and then my friend made me chase around the house for the cat instead of her doing it! We finally caught her and then I had to load up my car with both the cats and their toys. Now heres the kicker: After I loaded up my car with all the cats and toys, I said to my friend "your'e coming with me right"? After all I didnt want to drive a complete stranger somewhere in my car all by myself, I would want my friend to come with me. Also, we still needed to rent the movie. Then she says "no, I'm not coming! So I had to drive this person to her house (who was extremely rude to me by the way). Then I had to rent the movie by myself!! When I finally got back to my friends by around 6 and all she could talk about was how sad she was that she had to give up her cats!!! She finally noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her the girl I had to drive home was rude (but didnt mention I was more angry at her).
My question is, I am overeacting, or was that a really shitty thing that my "friend" did to me?
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That is pretty rude of your friend. I don't think you are overreacting at all, if I were you I would of yelled at her. Anyway... you should talk to her about what she did, that was not right.
<3
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Well i think your right, it was as really shitty thing of your friend to do, but maybe she just didnt notice how much it did inconvience you. You should tell her that if you need any money or a favor, it shouldnt be a problem for her to help.
lotz of luv!!
xox0x0x0
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This is obviously something that has really annoyed you, and as such you should talk to your friend about the various things that bothered you about her behaviour.
She has asked a lot of you and doesn't appear to have thought about exactly how much she's putting upon you as a friend, but perhaps she was really stressed out about having to give away her pets. If this behaviour isn't typical of her and she's usually more considerate you should still raise the issue with her, but raise it gently and sensitively, saying that you understand it might have been a stressful or upsetting experience for her but you felt she wasn't really reasonable in the way she behaved.
If her taking advantage like this is a more regular occurence you need to be a bit firmer. Don't just hurl accusations, but be clear and assertive that you don't think she treats you with enough consideration or respect, with a couple (but not an excessive amount) of examples. She might find it hard to listen to - nobody likes to hear criticisms, but if you are assertive about what she does that upsets you without getting angry she'll at least begin to see how her behaviour is actually percieved, and she'll try to change.
The money thing is probably best left as a seperate issue. Perhaps next time you meet up suggests that she foots the bill - again, in an assertive but not confrontational way by saying that since you got everything last time, perhaps she'd like to sort things out this time. Many people find it embarassing bringing financial transactions into friendships, but if you just get it out of the way at the start by agreeing who'll pay or how you'll share the cost before moving onto other topics you'll probably both feel more at ease.
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N0 Y00 ARE N0T 0VERREACTiNG AT ALL! THAT WAS REALLY RUDE 0F Y00R FRiEND..i THiNK Y00 SH0ULD TALK T0 HER AB0UT iT AND iF SHE D0ESNT SAY 0R FEEL S0RRY THEN SHE D0ESNT SEEM LiKE A VERY G00D FRiEND
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Get over it. People are starving to death in other parts of the world.
You drove a rude woman and two cats home.
It's not that big a deal, is it?
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Well, I don't think you're overreacting, but I do think there might have been some confusion as to why your friend acted the way she did, although I don't approve of HOW she did it. Being a pet lover myself, having to give up any pet is ridiculously difficult, no matter the situation.
I don't like it when people ask if you'll do them a favor before telling you what it is. That's sort of a cheap shot. When someone does that to me, I now say, "Well, it depends. What do you need?" Yes, asking you to drive this other woman home was a bit "out there," but I suppose she was only thinking about who might have a car and you were on her mind because you two were getting together later. OK, but I do wish that she'd helped you get the "escaped" kitty, although I wonder if she didn't because the whole affair was getting to her. Still, that doesn't mean she should have put EVERYTHING on you, as she certainly did. I would have wanted her to accompany me in driving this woman home as well. However, once again, maybe this would have been difficult on her because she knew she'd have to be in the car with the cats she was losing. The problem here is that your friend did not communicate with you at all what she was thinking or going through and thus put you in and on the spot.
I'm really sorry that the woman you drove home was so rude. That must have been the pits. Luckily you will probably never see this jerk again.
As far as buying all the stuff for your get-together that night, I've learned that you can't rely on others all the time to offer up money. You need to learn to say, "OK, I spent X, so you owe me ...this... amount." That is often the only way you'll get reimbursed. That too is the pits, but you have to be assertive with things like this when you have "friends" like this. If you had no idea she'd be like this because she hadn't been in the past, then at the end of the night, you probably should have said something about how much she owed you. It's really not too late. You could tell her that you totally forgot to tell her the cost of everything you bought/rented and how much she owed you. Then tell her and act like this is just a normal thing to do...because IT IS! She was either too upset about losing her cats and simply forgot to give you money, OR she truly is rude. If she's shown rudeness before, then learn from it! Make sure you have all the plans, agreements and money arrangements set up in advance.
All in all, the situation sounds like it was very hectic and your friend asked a lot of you and should have acted more appreciative than she obviously did. I wouldn't hesitate to talk to her now that you've cooled down some about how you didn't appreciate what went on that night with her expectations of you. Tell her what you wish she had done or not done, and ask her why she did the things she did. Listen. And, remember that she could have been caught off-guard by this woman not having a way home and didn't know what to do. Public transportation (except for a taxi) wouldn't have worked because the woman had animals with her and they're usually not allowed on public transportation.
You were a VERY good friend to your friend and this jerky woman. Again, I don't blame you for how you felt/feel and I highly encourage you to have a sit-down with your friend. Try not to be judgmental about her sadness and need to talk about the loss of her cats. I'm sure that was really tough on her and she felt like she could express these feelings to you - her friend. I'm sorry that sort of put a damper on your night with her, but she obviously was grieving and if you've never had a pet that you had to give up, you might not understand completely what she was feeling. Try to go easy on her about that part.
Good luck with this friendship. I think you can salvage it if you just communicate your honest feelings.
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Wow, that is definitely a situation that a friend should not put another friend in. At least since you agreed to do it when you weren't ready, she should have definitely come along for the ride. Also she should have either asked the other girl to chip in some gas money or given you some since it was a favor for her. Personally, if I was your friend, I would have said that the night was on me and pay for the movie, popcorn, and gas money. That's a big favor!
I think you should talk to your friend about the things she expects from you and tell her that a friendship is give-and-take. It's better to get it out in the open.
Good luck with your friend!
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That is the rudest thing I have every heard. You are def not overreacting!!! I mean that is so rude I personally would have told my friend that what she did is rude and explain to her I didn't appreaciate it at all!! I mean common she didn't even pay for anything after all you went through.. Sorry to say but that friend is pretty "wack". She has some nerve to do that too you. Personally I think you should tell her the truth on how you feel.Hope I helped! Send Feedback.
-Bianca
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that is soooo muessed up
she isnt really a friend, and if that person had to get home... why couldnt he/she get a taxi or bus?!
also yur friend is a biaa.. i think she is using you for money, and did u say she lived in a appartment? and she doesnt have a car...
and what about her mother/sibilings/father/extended family? is she like poor or something and had to sell the cats for money?!?!!?
well if i were you then, i would reject driving the stranger home. it was probally way out of your time..
and doesnt your mother know your friend doesnt pitch in? and do you make your OWN money?
well i think your friend is obserd... she isnt a friend!
x0 leave me feedback
Lauraa
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no, you're not overreacting, that's a very shitty thing she did. lesser things have made me distance myself from certain people. incidents like that just tell you that this is not a good person to be friends with. just let her know subtly you're upset, and then next time you plan to hang out with her, keep this incident in mind.
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Holy crap. That's just soo fucked up. She could've atleast rode with you in the car with the other person. And it's pretty damn stupid if she didn't help you pay for the movie either, let alone go with you.. I mean, it was her idea to rent the movie. So no your not overreacting. I would seriously talk to her, that's just rediculous.
♥
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Holy crap her own mother? No offense but that's just soo fucking weird. I mean, why would you want to send your friend in a car with a total complete stranger. Ugh. People like that piss me off. But don't worry cheer up. She's just lame. Nothing's wrong with you. =)
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Completely rude. I mean, honestly, why would she leave you alone with a rude stranger to go waaaaaay out of your way and then complain to you? Rude, rude, rude. Bad friend.. bad! Next time, I would invite her over to your place.. and maybe have her do a little errand for you. =)
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I would be a little upset. But I wouldn't tell your friend about it, it might sound kind of childish to her. You might want to say something like "I wish I had money but I spent it on last night." It'd make her feel bad, and maybe she'd offer you some money to make up for that night.
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