I love helping people out and I feel great giving advice to people out there I don't even know. It gives me great personal satisfaction knowing that the answers I give are pretty damn good. I have a cheery personality and I like art and music. I am not religious, but have a clear view of spirituality. I will never grow up completely, I clearly remember what it's like to be a teen, but now I have a much better perspective on how to get through it all because let me tell you, I have BEEN through it all. Glad to help any way I can...
Gender: Female
Location: New Hampshire
Occupation: homemaker:mommy
Age: 24
Member Since: October 18, 2004
Answers: 132
Last Update: January 9, 2005
Visitors: 9519
Main Categories:
Spirituality
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Friendship
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ok so there is this friend, she used to be my best friend. we were like the best of best friends and did everything together. talked on the phone for hours got our nails done went places nd everything. just recently i went on a trip and i came home to find my "best friend" annoyed with me. i wasnt even home. she told my other really good friend that she realized she had other friends and now does stuff with them all the time and not with me anymore...at all. she told one of my other friends that she didnt want me to go somewhere everyone was going for no reason. now we hardly talk and she seems to avoid me...but whenever i ask her.."everything is fine" PLEASE HELP! I NEED MY BEST FRIEND :( (link)
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Yeah, this can be sad, but friendship can be like love, sometimes it grows old and it sounds like it grew old for your friend, even though you're still "into it." Just try to keep being yourself and make sure you have other friends too, even if their not your BEST friend. You may find yourselves back in your friendship later down the road, but for now maybe she just needs a break from you. Just try to keep busy with your life and still be there as a friend for her even if she is being mean, you'll never look like the bad guy just stay neutral.
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I have a huge problem. I'm always worrying about something. Like I worry about school, my friends, if I have enough money to buy a gift, a test coming, etc. I never have a moment where I'm not worried. It sucks!!!! Please help me. Thank you. (link)
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Worries never go away, there will always be a string of things to worry about, it's all about how you manage your life and your time. Be organized, do one thing at a time, and don't forget to breathe.
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i have alot of friends and stuff, but iv just started to realize that they might not be as true as i thought. i love them but i hate them, they just seem not to care anymore. i also have people calling me a whore and a slut and stuff like that wenever i walk by because my "friends" tell them stuff thats not true. how do i avoid something like that..and how do i know if my friends are true? (link)
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Guess what, sweetie, here's the story: You go to school without a friend in the world. Then all through the years you make like a billion friends. Then you find yourself walking out of high school with like a friend or two that you might stay in touch with through college. It sucks. I used to have so many friends and now I am 6 years out of high school and I only talk to like 1. and barely. It's just the sad facts of life. And you're right: most of your "friends" are probably not very good friends. They will lie, cheat, and steel and they laugh with fingers pointed in your face. The important thing is, and my advice is to stay true to yourself, make sure YOU are being a good friend and will be sure you will be remembered that way. :)
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Well out of the blue, starting after winter vacation, my old best friend is coming back to my school. We were best friends growing up till third grade when she lefty for a Catholic school well now she's comign to my public school and she was nervous and called me up for the first time in 4 years. NOw that I am the only one she knows it means that sjhe gets to "shadow" me for her first week till she learnes where everything is. I kinda don't want her around anynmore though, she immature and I have outgrown her and made new friends. Yet i feel stuck becuase her mom called my mom and said how excited she was and stuff and i can't just bum her off on someone.... What can i DO? (link)
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Just be there for her. Maybe she's not so immature anymore like you think. It could turn out to be kinda fun. Try looking at it under a more positive light. Your new friends will see what a great caring person you are to take this on. Then as time goes on, your old friend will also find new friends like you did, and you can watch with a smile as your little chic makes her way into the waters.
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my friend is beinng really rude & saying mean stuff about me what should i do? (link)
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I'll tell you what to do, if you're generally a nice person, be nice to her face, but never ever ever trust this person. I've had way too many of these kinds of friends. I finally learned my lesson with one just today after 10 years with her lying ass. Trust me this advice may sound dumb but trust me on this one. Just never tell her any secrets or anything...don't do anything you wouldn't do to someone you don't trust.
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Hi, I really need help. Okay, well there is this whole paragraph about this situation, but I'll try to make it as short as possible...
I met this guy, Lance, through a friend, but he is never aloud to do anything because of his parents, even his friends told me he is never aloud to hang out, and to top it off he is grounded, so I haven't talk to him since literally, October.
I started to become friends with Lance’s friend, Brett, mostly because it was my only way of I guess having any connection with Lance.
Then, I started having feelings for Brett, and he started having feelings for me. Now I am not the type of girl that is going to break up a friendship just because I like someone, because I'm 14 and I probably won't even see these boys after high school. Anyway, we just stayed friends, but everyone said it was obvious that we liked each other, but it wasn't a big deal because we never did anything but talk all the time and that's it.
Now, Brett was just recently dumped by his ex, and he started being REALLY mean to me, and pushing me away, and I wanted to talk to him about winter break because after he came back from his vacation with his parents he wanted to hang out, so I tried calling him, and for 4 days he blew me off. So finally the other day I just told him he was being really mean to me, and he said that I was lying and he wasn't mean he just doesn't care about me anymore which really hurt my feelings.
I just don't know what to do, I want to just be friends with both Brett and Lance because they are both friends, and both of them are so much fun to hang out with and talk to, but I don't like either one of them as more then friends. But, I told Brett I wasn't going to talk to him anymore because he of what else he said to me, which I can't say on here, and I don't know what to do. Should I just forget about even being friends with Brett or what? Again I am so very sorry for making this so long, but this has been going on for a really long time and I was going to ask a question on here soon, but things just keep progressing. Please help.
Signed,
Hurt friend
(link)
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Brett could just be hurting because his ex broke up with him so he is taking it out on the person closest to him...you. He may (this will sound strange) be pushing you away because he needs you right now. He probably feels dumb for being the one broken up with. Don't be mad at him for being mean, even though it's not nice. It's just his way of acting out on his anger. My boyfriend is the same way. When he is being mean, ignore him, but be there for him. Let him know you are his friend and he can talk to you (nicely) any time he needs. And this other guy Lance, poor guy, strict upbringing it sounds like. Just be his friend too. Your intentions seem simple, you sound like a good friend, so just be that for both boys. Stay neutral. Be kind. It's all good. I wish you luck, sweetie!
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ok, first off, my friends are mostly all girls and they are very pretty girls but, they are like my sisters and they really dont want to go out with me cause were so close. We do everything together, we've been to each others houses many times and met each others parents. Soon were gonna have dinner together and still were just real good friends. They all say that i need a girlfriend and i kinda agree. But, i know and am good friends with most of the girls at my school and the others, im kinda holding bak because ive been rejected once and it wasnt pretty and i dont want it to happen again. WAT DO I DO!!! (link)
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If you are only considering choosing a g'friend because your other friends suggested you do so, then it would be for the wrong reasons anyway. If you are content with your life and your choices right now, then chill with that. If you personally want a g'friend and you're forcing yourself to choose, then hang out most with the person you enjoy being around the most. You are also carrying around the fear of rejection; yeah it's gonna happen, but good things will happen too...you need to open every package to find out, if you don't open it up you'll never see what's inside. Hope I was helpful even if just a little:)
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im 14/female. i used to have this really good friend. we could talk about anything. he was like my big brother. well lately (in the past few months) we've grown apart so much. we can't talk to each other about anything and i get mad at him over little things. i don't know why our relationship is changing so much. i miss how things used to be. any ideas why things are happening like this? any advice on what i should do? (link)
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I wish I knew the answer to that. It just seems like the excitement spills out of every exciting relationship after some time. My guess would be look into ideas to research to help rekindle a friendship flame. I know that's not much help, but the truth is this happens for like the rest of our lives with most non-relative relationships. It sucks. Hope things get back to normal!
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i'm 16 and my lil sis is havin her 13th birthday on december 19th.. she is soo pumped and doesnt really have any ideas for one. i threw a surprise for her last year so i dont wanna do that again.. she has a lot of friends and i guess shes one of the popular girls in her school so i want it to be big for her.. any one got any ideas.. cuz im not doing to good and i want this to be the best ever! x33always! me* (link)
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Turn your home (or one room in your house) into the "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous!" Make her feel really important and make sure there is a "bar" with stocked soda where she can go to drink, munch on crackers, and talk with someone she digs. Have a D.J. corner all worked out (CD's in the player and a pile to listen to). Decorate with lights (strobe, lava lamps, etc.) and accessories (props, party decor, beaded curtains) and have like a couple beanbags around. Try using a theme! Like a hawaiian dream, or a winter wonderland...the ideas could be endless!! Pick an idea and go with it, just give her and all her friends something to talk about for the rest of the school year!! Hope I gave you some inspiration...also, good for you for trying to give your sister a good time.
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ok so recently, in the past few months, ive turned into a bit of a bitch. i honestly dont know why. i get annoyed a lot easier. most of the time, i get jealous really easy. like for example, my friend found out that i had a advice column, so he decided he wanted one. well i got really mad because its my "thing" and i wanted it to myself. im selfish and im whiney. i dont know why im starting to be like this. i also started doing drugs, becoming more "sexual", looking at porn, being belemic, and a lot of stuff that i know will ruin my life. i cant stop. im losing all my friends, and ive already lost a lot of them. i just dont know what to do. (link)
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Yeah, you need to pay attention to these obvious clues that you're headed in the wrong direction. There is something deeper inside than you know that is bothering you and you need to find what it is. Then you need to deal with it in positive ways. Start getting your creative energies flowing and make something of yourself that is only you and so unique. There must be something you love to do other than drugs, sex, etc. Maybe you used to paint, or write, play an instrument, run, ski, jump, fly, I don't know, but whatever it is you like to do, man, do it again and excel at it. I know it's easier said than done, but just remember the results are so much more rewarding when you turn negative energies positive somehow. Life gets hard sometimes for every human being...it's all about how you deal with it. I hope things get better for you:)
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i've known my best friend for almost two and a half years now, and i have some hilarious pictures and memories from the past bit. also some serious ones and all that. anyway, i want to somehow incorporate everything he and i have been through into some sort of gift to be able to give him at the end of high school (we're juniors right now). but i'm kind of blanking on good ideas. i want to make sure it can have all of our inside jokes and all that, and be something he can keep forever, you know? any help would be greatly appreciated! (link)
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That's a wonderful idea. Good for you, your friendship with him sounds rare and special. They sell these really neat scrapbooks in stores that have places for you to put pictures and sayings and all kinds of stuff to get your creative energies flowing. I own one, myself. Have fun putting that together, whatever you decide to do!!
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I'm at a new school where i dont know many people... i made this one friend, lets just call her anna. So anna and i have been hanging out on the weekends and stuff for the past 3 weeks and im starting to realize that she is really conceited. I don't want to have a friend like this, but i don't really have any other options because i don't want to be friendless. I don't know if you can help very much, just give me your thoughts on this, or maybe if you can relate we can talk about your experience. thanks. (link)
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Yeah, being too vein is not a good quality. Maybe there are other things about her that you like that you could concentrate on until you guys grow apart when you start finding some other friends. You will soon, I guarantee it, just give it time. Start talking to some other people, meet other people maybe the same way you met "Anna". I'm not sure if you're a social butterfly or not, but also try joining something like sports or art club or whatever you're into, then you could meet people with the same interests as you.
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okay, me and my best friend have this journal that we write in almost everyday and we give it back and forth to eacohther, etc..well its been like a week and we cant find it...we always keep it in our back packs n stuff and we think that one of our guy friends took it..hes just like a girlfriend to us, hes the only guy we hang out with etc..it has ALOT of personal stuff in it, and we have talked about our friends in it too..he did it be4 but only kept it for like an hour and it was a joke..we confronted him about it but he sware that he didnt take it but we still think he did..thers so much dirt in there!!! whut should we do (link)
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uh-oh, maybe he did or he didn't or maybe you guys lost it in between someplace dropping it someplace between school and home. I know, that's tough. I'm a journal writer myself and I've lost many writings, at home, in school. I hope you guys find it and it's just somewhere stupid and you'll laugh about it and wipe the sweat off your foreheads. But if it's gone, I don't know, ask that boy again, but if he keeps saying he didn't take it, maybe you might need to try and believe him.
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my best freind Tina and i have been best freinds sicne we were 4 and we're so close! well she and i became freinds w/ this girl kaylinn and at first her and tina were really close but a couple months later they got into a huge fight and hate eachother...now im caught in the middle...i would pick my bestfrind over kaylinn cuz i've known tina for ever but im not gunna just drop kaylinn. i dont want enemies! anyway i really dont kno what to do so if theres any tips feel free to say them (link)
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My answer is to stay mutual. Let them know you would not appreciate it if either of them were going to make you choose between the two. Let them know that what's going on is between them and you don't want to talk behind anyones back, but will be there for each of them for listening or to maybe gesture some advice.
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ok my best friend called my boyfriend gay the other day, i got really upset because i like him alot. so me and my best friend got into a little fight. now she's been acting different. Whenever i have a boyfriend she never gets along with them, they always endup fighting and soon it ends mine and my boyfriends relationship. what do I do? (link)
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Yup, she does not want you to have a boyfriend she could be jealous. Your boyfriends probably don't want to deal with the fighting that she brings to the table. You are going to have step back from her if you are involved in a relationship that is important to you. If she is a true friend then she will come out of this act and behave. She will not keep putting a damper on your happinesses, she will give you room to grow and become. If not, give her some room to go be a jerk by herself!
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OK so i'm at a new school and like i made this one fried ... lets call her susan. So susan invited me over to her house for halloween with some of her friends too. I don't know for sure but i've heard her friends talking about doing drugs and all (not planning it for halloween but talking about it in like the past sence) I'm pretty sure Susan doesn't do drugs or anything but i do think that she drinks. I don't do any of that stuff, nor do I want to. Do you think I should go to her house and take the chance? PLEASE help me... i'll rate EVERYONE! (link)
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As you get older you will realize that you will have all kinds of friends, some that you will have everthing in common with and some that will do or be things that you will not particulary like. What YOU do is all up to you because YOU are in charge of YOURself. You make your choices and you cannot make others choices for them. If you do get in a situation where this group IS doing drugs and you're like the only one not doing it that IS okay as long as these friends are not making fun of you for your responsible decisions, because if they make fun of you for not jumping off a bridge because they are then you know they are not true friends. The true friend is the person who tries to talk you OUT of doing drugs not making fun of you for NOT doing drugs. Real friends will respect your decisions even if they make wrong choices in their own lives and you don't judge them either but be there for them without taking responsibility for thier actions.
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