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Q: I was looking around your page, and noticing your answer to the question about young kids having sex. You quickly blamed it on the parents.

What made you blame on the parents not caring rather their child is having sex or not?

I'm blaming parents in ALL cases but I have seen a lot like that. I have seen parents completely ignore their children. No, it's not the parents fault all the time but it can be in some cases. Yes, some good kids could sneak off and do whatever when their parents didn't do anything to them but my point is parents (IN SOME CASES) should have enough control over their children to be able to stop them, unless they just don't care. I'm not blaming parents for everything, I'm just saying all situations where kids go off and do that are different. I have seen it where kids just go off and do it, I have seen it where they go off and do it because of stressful times such as their parents divorcing and stuff like that, I have also seen it to where parents just simply don't care. I didn't mean to cause any trouble. I'm sorry I didn't "in some cases" and I agree with you that I made it sound like everytime someones young child goes off to have sex, it's the parents fault but I did not mean to make it sound that way.
*Kayla*

Q: My dad made me cry my eyes out today. This is what happened.
Well last August I was asked by my cousin to be a bridesmaid for her wedding in April of this year. I said yes, and at the time was unemployed. Well I have a job now at a really good company. But I'm still on a 3 month probation. My grandma (who is paying for the wedding) was expecting me to take 3 days off on a weekend this Febuary just for a dress fitting!! She lives 6 hours away, and I would have had to take the greyhound bus. I told my dad this and he started screaming at me, saying that I was going to lose my job over this. I have a mental illness, and this is the first job I've had in 5 years. He said I would never get another job again and that he wanted me to drop out of the wedding, and that the job was too important. Well I started to cry because I really want to be a bridesmaid but also don't want to lose my job. I asked him if he could phone grandma and make some sort of comprimise, like maybe get the dress fitted her. Then he said "the fact that you're crying shows how delicate you are". He was really mean about the whole thing.
I still want to be in the wedding. I talked to my grandma and she is going to send up the fabric for me to get a local seamstress to make the dress so I won't have to take time off work until the wedding. But I'm still really upset at my dad. How should I act around him? And does anyone else think what he said was out of line?

Yes, it was out of line but I understand that he is a little excited about you getting your first job in 5 years and stuff like that. He doesn't want to see you get unemplyed and not get another job that pays as good. That's probably all he is saying. However, it's your life and you have choices and decisions. I know you may like your job but your cousin's wedding (in my oppinion) is more important. You seem adult enough to make your own decisions for yourself. It's not your dad's life. Ask your grandma if you could take 1 or 2 days instead of 3 but explain to her that you like your job and too much time off work could result in unemplyment. That's a very important concept and your grandma should understand, if she's an understandable type person.
How should you act around him? Act tough like you know what you're doing but make sure you really do because then, it won't be hard to do, right? You need to show him that he didn't have an impact on you and you are going to make your decision. It's not up to people on Advicenators to decide whether you should risk getting fired or missing the wedding. It's up to you, not anyone else but YOU! I suggest you consider telling your grandma that your job is important and a dress isn't AS important... it's important but notAS important as losing your job and you don't want to lose your job over a dress fitting. Just tell her... she should listen and if she doesn't, don't even care because she needs to understand as your family member that your job makes a HUGE impact but it's just a dress... you're gonna wear it to the wedding and when you get home, you're gonna take it off and stuff it in your closet until someone else gets married but you're probably gonna get a new dress anyway! :-) Don't worry about it!
-Kayla

Q: When I was little I was abused by both my sister and my dad. As I got older it stopped and the yelling died down a little but its still there. Lately my dad and my sister have been yelling more and tonight I was sitting in my room and heard things being thrown and everything. Im not sure what was going on but I new my dad and sister were fighting and probly hurting eachother and I was scared out of my mind. I wanted to jump out of my window and run I was so scared. Im sitting here shaking afraid to leave my room and I don`t know what to do. Please help meh!
14/f
Love maddie

Honey,
if your dad hits you, that's wrong AND against the law. You should tell someone like your mom, an aunt, an uncle, or someone REALLY close to you, an adult. They may be able to do something like seperate you from them for a while. Life at home should be calm and you should WANT to go there. It should be a place where you don't even want to be around! You have to change all that.

Sweetie, the BEST thing I can tell you to do right now is to stay in your room. Stay away from them and wait until their fight is over. Don't come out whatever you do. You could get hurt. If your room is away from where they are fighting, sneak out and grab the phone, unless you already have a phone in your room. Call someone's cell phone to come pick you up, that way they can stay on the phone with you the entire time to make you feel. Pack a bag or something to take with you. Don't worry... stay calm and don't get scared. Let them fight because if you get in the middle of it, you could get seriously hurt.

I'm really sorry this is happening to someone like you, and I hope you can find a way to get away for a while. This is the BEST thing you can do.

I did this a long time ago when I was 7 or 8. My parents were ALWAYS fighting... they got down to hitting each other AND throwing dishes. I was SO scared, I called my grandma to come pick me up because she only lived about 10 minutes away. She came to pick me up and me and my little sister spent the night over there. It helped me be more calm and relax. I was worried about my parents and that they might hit and hurt each other really bad but you have to get THAT off your mind. Let them have their argument/fight. It's the best thing to just NOT get involved in something this serious. They could throw something and it could hit you in the head or something. That kind of thing can cause a concussion or knock you out for 30 minutes. Just avoid them. Email me when you feel like talking to someone and you want to express your feelings to. I'm here for you and I will stay by your side for as long as you need me to. Email me at x_pink_x109@yahoo.com O.K? I check it about every hour on the hour so you will get a reply. Everything is going to work out if you just don't get involved in dangerous situation such like this one.
Email me ANYTIME you want, O.K?

I'm here for you!

Best of luck!

Hope I helped!

Double ♥♥
♥ Kayla ♥

Q: okay. i need to talk to someone and none of my friends can really help. my parents are divorced and i dont see my dad very often. i live with my mother who is an alcoholic and gets pissed off easliy. today my brother and mom got into a huge fight. she is now gone, i mean she just left. i called her and she said that she just needed to be alone. she hasnt returned yet, and i dont know what to do. i am only 14 and my brother 11. she is most likely going to come home incredibly drunk and when she is drunk life just sucks... i dont know what to do anymore because i am just sick of it. this isnt the first time she has just left......

Nobody should just LEAVE their kids and come back drunk whenever the heck she feels like it.

Not only can what she's doing affect her health but it can affect your little brothers health as well. Someone that young shouldn't have to live like that and if she goes too far, she can hurt him or he can hrt himself due to all the stress going on.

You shouldn't have to live like that. You should call a relative to come pick you up. Tell your mom where you are and when she figures out what her problem is, she can come and get you.

You should also have someone try to get your dad to get most of the custody for both you, and your brother.

Children shouldn't live like that and your mom is definitly wrong for doing that to you guys.

Pack a bag or something and have a relative pick you up. An aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa, or family friend. Call your mom and tell her that you will be staying with this relative/friend until she calms her butt down!

This will help you get away from your mom and let her calm down. Then, she'll relaize what she is doing and figure that it's wrong to just leave whenever you want!

You know where I am if you need advice or want to talk. Also, you xan email me at x_pink_x109@yahoo.com O.K?

Good luck and I hope you try this! Trust me! It'll work!

Best of luck!♥

Hope I helped! ♥

♥ Kayla ♥

P.S. I am sorry but I have never been in this situation. I'm trying my best to put myself in your shoes and that is what I, seriously, would do! I'm sorry you have to be like this and I'm sorry that your mom is like that! I couldn't imagine life without my mom. I hope best of luck to you and remember, if you need me, I'm online all the time. LOL. Just email me or send me a question in my inbox! I'm on right now!

Q: My sister and I planned a one week vacation in Paris. She lives in Colorado and I live in California so we do not get to see each other often. I made all the arrangements and was very much looking forward to going. Recently, she got back together with her boyfriend and has canceled her trip with me because she would rather do something with her boyfriend. I feel hurt about my sister's choice and resentful towards her boyfriend (although my sister says it was solely her decision). I say she can see her boyfriend every weekend and during the week too and that she can go on vacation with him next year. She says this is her only opportunity to go on a vacation this year with him and she doesn't want to miss it. I know my relationship with my sister is more important than any vacation, but I'm having trouble feeling ok about this. Should my sister have honored her commitment to me? Should I just get over it and wish them well on their vacation?

Honey,
you have a RIGHT to be upset. Your sister shouldn't have made plans with you if she was just going to blow you off for her boyfriend!

Something like this happened to me but it was with my aunt. I was about to go to Florida for 3 weeks last summer with my aunt but she blew me off because she had to go "sight-seeing" in Kentcuky with her boyfriend.

I talked to her about it and she made it up to me by taking me out to ice cream and then, we went to Florida.

My point is you should talk to her and see how you can arrange something else with her SOON. I'm really sorry!

You know where I am if you need me! You can also email me at x_pink_x109@yahoo.com O.K?

Best of luck! ♥
Hope I helped! ♥
&hearts Kayla ♥