Hey my names Chrissabelle and I love giving advice. I always have. Most of my friends call me Chrissie but really like to be called anything. Well... :p I really would like to be a psycologist when I get older. I love listening to other people, I've always been a good listener and I love to help people to the best of my abilities. I love being with family, hanging out with friends, ice skating, and tennis. I also love to laugh and have fun. Who doesn't? Honestly I just am a really happy person although I can come off really serious to people who don't know me which really sucks. I haven't been answering advice for a few weeks because of numerous reasons but now I'm back and so glad to be able to help everyone again. I really hope I can guys =) That's about it so ask me anything, anytime you need advice and I'll try to help you as best I can!
Gender: Female
Location: U.S.
Occupation: Student
Age: 16
AIM: cpurple37
Member Since: January 24, 2007
Answers: 269
Last Update: September 4, 2008
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he says he deserves repsect from me but i think i do from him.
he cusses at me, and hes uber hypacrtitical.
he says i have to change if i want to live in his house.
uhm HES NOT MY REAL FATHER !
and there is no fucking way that im going to change for anyone, especially him.
so. i kinda cut. /: (link)
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Hey. Even though you may be upset now that he's not your real dad and he's still telling you what to do you're going to look back years later and realize that it was foolish to hurt yourself over this. You may not realize it but you're cutting yourself to get attention so that he'll leave you alone and be kinder to you even if he doesn't know yet. But even so you're acting this way to get attention and believe me I'm not blaming you because I see why you're upset. But years later you will be even more angry that you cut yourself over him and you will just become more hurt than if you took responsibility and told him how you feel. I know how angry you are that he's acting this way since he's not your real dad but believe it or not if you don't fight him or talk back to him he will stop nagging you. He will be nicer and it may take a while but eventually I bet he will be. I know, I know, you're shaking your head at me right now but it's true. You don't have to treat him anything like your real dad by any means but just treat him as someone you're respectful to and if he's still mean to you then you have to talk to your mom. Write a letter if it's easier. But PLEASE don't cut, you're going to be even angrier that you're hurting yourself over this man. Whereas if you're the nice, responsible one, and your stepdads still mean you can realize that he's the bad guy. But I bet he'll change if you just be curtious. There's someone out there who cares for you and that person really doesn't want you to cut, and although I don't know you, that's me. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
Chrissabelle
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okay. i am telling my mom that i am staying the night at my friends house. but i really am not. i am going to spend the night with my boyfriend. one problem. she wants to talk to my friends parents. how should i get around this? and is having my friend pretend to be her mother a good idea?
thanks (link)
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Hey. O.k. I know that you're not going to want to hear this but lying to your parents is not the answer. I know we've all been through this =). You're going to look back and feel guilty and eventually your parents ARE going to find out whether it takes two weeks or several years but when they do you'll feel worse. You're afraid to tell them the truth because you know it's wrong and you know they'll say no. But the truth is that they're going to say no because they care more than anything about you and love you so much. They would feel so guilty if anything ever happened and I know you know it wouldn't but this is probably how they feel. I would either tell your boyfriend this and if he's a good guy (I'm sure he is) he'll understand and you can just hang out or I would tell your parents and who knows? Maybe they'll agree and if not they might respect you for telling them and let you do it in the future. Also, your friend might feel guilty too and that's not a good situation. I'm really sorry if this didn't help at all but I really hope it did and I wish you a lot of luck! =)
Chrisabelle
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for my sweet 16 my mom wants to bring me to the bahamas but i want to something with my friends but i dont want to have a party
and she says that we dont have the money to bring my friends with me
im soooo pissed because its my 16th birthday and i want it to be fun and special
any ideas on how i can convince my mom to change her mind? (link)
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Hey. Well I wouldn't try convincing them about taking your friends to the Bahamas because that is Extremely expensive and soooo nice that they're taking you there! That is a Really special gift so be greatful =). But, I also understand why you'd want to do something with your friends too. Maybe you can have a party with your good friends right before you go away and you can have it at a hotel near your house for one night so it's A lot less expensive compared to taking them all to the Bahamas but you'll still be having a sort of "mini vacation". But please be understanding if your parents say no to this because the Bahamas is a really nice gift. You can have another sort of party with them beforehand too if the hotels not a good idea. Maybe a sleepover at your house or something or a day at the mall. Your family will appreciate that you're happy about the trip and that you're still trying to suggest cheaper options. Oh, and give them a pat on the back for such a nice trip! Good luck and happy sweet 16, can't wait for mine next year! =)
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Me and my sister are both teenage girls, 15 and 16. We butt heads on a daily basis. We fight at least twice a day, and by fight I mean physically and definitely emotionally. We've physcially fought so badly that we leave bruises, marks and scratches on each other. Emotionally is the worst though. She has no idea that everything she says to me/calls me hurts me so badly. As my older sister everyone expects us to fight, but this type of fighting is over the line. We fight twice a day, at least!
We're past the point of working it out, our parents have tried everything. And honestly I'm sick of crying everyday.
What do I do? And please don't say ignore her, that NEVER works. (link)
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Hey. It sounds like you and your sister have just gotten too close. Try to get out of the house as much as possible for a couple of weeks if possible. Remember that whatever she says is out of anger and she doesn't really feel this way about you. She may just be saying these things to get back at you for the things you've said to her during the fight too. Whenever you and your sister begin to fight try to think of her with a little umbrella hat on doing crazy karattee moves and doing the robot. It should definitely help because you will be able to block out the things she's saying and it will be amusing to know she has no idea what you're thinking. Now I'm not saying to secretly make fun of your sister at all but it will help you to prevent a fight and she will appreciate that you're trying. Or just try thinking of her going blah blah blah while she's talking. This way nothing will get physical and you'll be in a much happier mood. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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my father and brother (14 yrs old) havn't spoken for 6 months because of a tiny little argument.. and because they're both being stubborn, this has affected my whole life, myother younger brother (10 yrs old) is afraid of our family falling apart and my mother is turning into a monster, screaming, being mean and irritated all the time, she never used to be that wya before this. I've tried talking, several times. Tried getting out of the house, but since my dad's mad all the time, he won't let me go out a lot.
What do I do? Just leave it alone? (link)
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Hey. You definitely have to do something. You're right about the fact that it may hurt your family in the long run and things have to get better between your dad and brother. Things are always easier in letters (especially telling your feelings), in my opinion, so I would write each of them (your dad and brother) a long letter describing how you feel. If they won't let you get a word in, in person, than this will probably work a lot better. Just explain how much this is hurting your family and that you and your little brother are stuck in the middle. Explain how hurt you are. Talk about how much this is stressing poor mom out and she's yelling at you guys all the time. Explain that they have to make up over the argument because if anything happened to either of them (GF) they would feel so guilty since you know they both love eachother so much. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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okay, well my mom and her boyfriend smoke. a lot.
i only visit on saturdays, but it drives me CRAZY because whenever i come home i smell like ciggerettes. and i dispise that smell. i don't like people who smoke that much either, because i have heart issues and i can't really breathe around it.
how can i try and convince my mom and her boyfriend to stop smoking? i already tried, and i told them how bad it is for you and everything, but they didnt' care. i WANT them to care. i hate this.
can someone give me advice on how to avoid this? or something? (link)
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Hey. I would try talking to your mom alone once more. Tell her how much you love her and that you really wouldn't want anything to happen to her because she's your world. Tell her how upset you would be. Tell her that you know it will be hard to quit but you're going to help her through it because you're her daughter and you love her. Also, tell her that you really want to help her boyfriend too and that you're willing to help him too. Say that you love visiting her but you worry about all of your health because second hand smoke really is just as bad for you. If you find it difficult to do this in person I would write her a letter telling her how much you love her and want her and her boyfriend to quit. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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I'm in college now and I kind of want to do things my way. (My family doesn't want me to have a car right now although i had one at home.) I just want to buy a car and work in a decent place where i please. when i was at home I was told where I could work, what hours I could work, where i couldn't drive. And, very overportected and dominated. Am I at the point in life now where i can start making my own decisions and not be wrong. (link)
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Hey. If you're in college now than you're definitely at the point where you can start making your own decisions. Your an adult now. Although it never hurts to get a little advice from mom and dad =). But yeah, you can make your own decisions now. I really hope this helped and good luck =).
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I am over 2 years older then my sister but everybody seems to think she is older than me! It bugs me so much (she has bigger boobs then me, but I am happy with my boob size)but I am not sure what other reasons people think this. I take care of myself really well (I dress nicely, do my makeup nicely, take good care of my hair, etc.) yet for some reason I look younger then my younger sister & I want to look older!! What can I do to make myself appear to be older, like I really am? And please don't say anything about it being good that I look younger, all I want to know is why they think she looks older & WHAT I CAN DO TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK OLDER THEN HER! Thank you! (link)
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Hey. Well just act mature and ignore it. You know that you're older and if you just be yourself you will feel good about yourself. They may even realize you're older if you act this way. Blow it off or say something like "hopefully I'll be glad about this when I'm older" and smile. People may not be able to see in appearence that you're older but they'll definitely be able to tell when they see your manerisms. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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I am a 14 year old female and I am the younger sister. I have an older sister and I live with my mother. Me and my sister are total oppisotes down to the tee. My sister is tall, beautiful, SKINNY, smart, etc. I'm none of those. I am pretty smart but I slack off alot. My mom and my sister have this really good relationship but I don't. My mom makes my sister monitor me. Sure I'm a little overwieght but my mom brings it up everywhere infront of everybody. She makes me feel like I'm a disgrace. She compains about how much I eat and what I do because I watch TV. She always compares me to my sister. She talks about how she eats better and what she was like at my age. I feel so wrong. I feel like I don't deserve to be here. They both go out on dates and I'm left alone which doesn't bother me as much because when they are home they complain about me and what I do. I'm pretty but just a little chubby. But i feel like no one really cares who I am. My mom and sister go through my room together or used to read my diary. What do I do. I don't wan to talk to anyone because I've tried that. Don't tell me to talk to them because I have and they understood and then the next day they forgot even when I asked them. I feel lost and hurt because my family really doesn't care. I need to know how I can make this better or if there are people I can talk to wihtout being there face to face because I'm a little sensitive.
Thanks. (link)
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Hey. Wow, that is a horrible situation to be in and I completely sympathize with you. Your mom probably doesn't really feel that way about you but she's trying to motivate you. A lot of parents do this. Just try and remember that whatever she says really isn't true and that you're a great person. You've been through a lot. Everyone in this world is different so to make comparisons between people is ridiculous. There would never be enough time for anyone to list all of the comparisons between different people in this world. Your sister and mother seem to be happy with whom they are so act the same way. Realize what a great person you are and that names will never hurt you. This may make you more confident and your mom and sister may stop making comparisons. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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My sister has loads of anger problems and for the past six years she has caused a lot of tension in our family. During this time I've always been the 'good one' but recently my Dad has been taking things out on me more and more. I admit that I'm not always as well behaved as I should be, but it's not like I'm worse than any other average teen. Now even when I haven't done anything wrong my Dad will be unreasonable and start shouting and swearing. I always try and be mature and walk away from the situation then come back and talk things through calmly later but 9 times out of 10 he will refuse to admit that he has been wrong and usually he won't even listen to what I have to say.
I know that he's under a lot of stress from work and my sister which has also put his relationship with my Mum has been put under strain but I'm finding it increasingly hard to deal with it. It's got to the point where I'll say something completely politely and innocently and he'll start yelling and cause a huge family argument for no reason.
What can I do? I've tried talking to him, my Mum and my sister many times but it makes no difference. We've also completed several sessions with a family counciller but that only made things worse. (link)
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Hey. It does sound like your dad is under a lot of stress right now but you must be in a lot of mental pain right now. It sounds like you need help from another source that you know. Someone older who knows your family and can really help you. Maybe because you're always the "yes man" they feel that it's ok to say whatever to you now which is not good as you know. I would have another sit down talk with them but be stern (not mean of course) and they'll be able to take you seriously. Not that they don't now but they know you'll always agree. They're your family and eventually they will be understanding once the tension dies down. I really hope I helped and good luck! =)
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MY MOM. grr. she tells me I can switch schools, & then makes these excuses like.. "Well.. lets think about it.. isn't there someone else you can hang out with" & im like omgg. grr. ITS SO ANNOYING. Like, I hang out with the meanest girls in school, the plastics, whatever you want to call them. AND I CAN'T STAND THEM. I want out, like..I just don't want to hang out with anyone else. There either sluts, fake, annoying. & I know nobodys perfect, but see.. its just, I don't know. Its not that these people don't like me & stuff, its just..i'm sick of them all. I've been in school with them for 9 years [private school]
How can I convince my mom to let me out? She keeps telling me how.. 'she hung out with the mean girls & she dealt with it, & it wasnt that bad' but my mom was one of them. & that just isn't mean. I'm not some little stuck up.
AHH just help!
(link)
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Hey. I would tell her that being around people like this is really hurting you and you're so tired of it. You can't concentrate on other things and it's really not a healthy enviornment. Say that you just want to be in a nice enviornment and that she should be happy that you don't want to be mean. If you find it hard to do this in person write her a letter. Say how badly you feel that she doesn't understand. And I'm sure she will understand once you get all of this out. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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anyone please this is not that long and i really need help. Sometimes my parents can be complete IDIOTS. im not allowed to go skiing because My dad SAYS that im going to get hurt. I cant do an article for school on RAPE because my mom doesnt like it and now i have to stay up to research another one AND memorize it. (btw im 13/f) These stupid choices of my parents are making me depressed and i even cut myslef because of it. I cant have a boyfriend untill im 17, i cant wear a tampon yet, MY MOM DOESNT ACCEPT THAT IM GROWING UP. IVE TREID TALKING TO HER ABOUT THIS BUT SHE WILL NOT LISTEN. Seriously, My dads decision about skiing. I mean COME ON. IM GONNA GET HURT WTF. i know my parents care about me but they need to let go! They will NOT listen to me when i tell them all this. I cry all the time and i dont know what to do. Sometimes my life is perfect and sometimes i want to die. What i really want to ask you guys is what can i do now? Ive talked to them, that doesnt work. I know a note wont work and they WOUDL NOT go to a counseller or anything. I honestly feel that if i sucide myslef, they might learn something. (Also, im indian if that helps). Is anyone can help me PLEASE do so. (link)
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Hey. Your parents are only doing this because they care about you and don't want anything to happen to you. They love you so much and would feel so guilty if something happened. Right now you may be really upset about all of your restrictions but you will look back in the long run and be so glad that they did this. I know you're probably shaking your head no but it's true =). About the ski trip, there's a lot of parents who don't let their kids go on these things it's only normal. Try convincing them to go on your own trip with them, you'll still have fun and they'll be glad you suggested it. Just gain their trust. And don't cut yourself!! Please, if your parents knew they would be so hurt and you're hurting yourself. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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The other day I was at the mall with my friend and we saw this beautiful formal for only 25 dollars, if you can believe it. It was sleeveless and backless, but when the back is laced up it really doesn't show much skin. I have a few standards of dress that I refuse to bend, so I bought a shawl with the dress to cover my shoulders (it's kinda see-through, but it covers up the skin). I showed the dress to my parents and my mom hates it but my dad thinks it's ok (backwards, I know). How can I convince my mom that it doesn't matter what she thinks about the dress because I bought it and I'm the one who's going to be wearing it. btw, I'm 17 (link)
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Hey. Well your mom is probably just trying to protect you because she loves you so much but you have to gain her trust. Tell her how you bought the shawl and you would never buy a dress for a bad reason. Tell her how much you really like the dress and how nice you think it looks. She should understand since she's your mom. Maybe you can write her a letter (this may sound strange but things are easier in writing) and explain how hurt you were that she didn't like it since you were so excited to show her when you got it. She will probably understand your feelings and you guys can work something out. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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13/f
In the summer holidays me and my family (mum, dad, bruv)are going to Spain. I really want my best mate to come (she wants to come as well).
My mum did mention her coming before but not since. Also, I know she might be able to because 've been to Edinburgh and center parcs with her which is a lot of money, and mum wants to take her somewhere with us. I just don't know about Spain.
But, the question is, what is the right way to ask mum whether my best friend can come? (link)
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I would just talk to her about how much you can't wait for this trip and how grateful you are. Then just ask her about your best mate. She's your mom and she's sure to understand no matter what. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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My dad is an alcoholic and hits my mom all the time. Can I do anything about it even though he doesnt hit me? He calls me bad names a lot though. Oh and Im 16. (link)
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You have to tell the police! Or an older source who can help you. Your mom is probably in a really tough situation and so hurt right now. You're probably getting hurt really bad right now too, mentally. You have to call the police and they can get help for your dad and your family. I really hope this helped you and good luck! =)
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Does anyone know of a good dude ranch with trail rides AND good tennis? Anywhere in the U.S. is fine. I want to know if there is a reliable place with fun yet reliable horses to ride one pretty trails, and tennis courts and instructors/tennis clinics?
Thanks (link)
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Hey, I searched online for ranches with horses and tennis and I found a list of all of these places. I looked at the first one and it looks really fun! Maybe you can try searching these. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
Alisal Guest Ranch and Resort ~ Solvang, California
Averills Flathead Lake Lodge ~ Bigfork, Montana
Bishop's Lodge Ranch Resort & Spa ~ Santa Fe, New Mexico
C Lazy U Ranch ~ Granby, Colorado
Circle Z Ranch ~ Patagonia, Arizona
Clear Creek Ranch ~ Burnsville, North Carolina
Elkhorn Ranch ~ Tuscon, Arizona
Flying E Ranch ~ Wickenburg, Arizona
Highland Ranch ~ Philo, California
King Mountain Ranch ~ Granby, Colorado
Lost Valley Ranch ~ Sedalia, Colorado
Mayan Dude Ranch ~ Bandera, Texas
Mountain Sky Guest Ranch ~ Emigrant, Montana
Pinegrove Dude Ranch ~ Kerhonkson, New York
Rancho de los Caballeros ~ Wickenburg, Arizona
Red Reflet Ranch ~ Ten Sleep, Wyoming
Rock Springs Guest Ranch ~ Bend, Oregon
Rockin' R Ranch ~ Antimony, Utah
Rocking Horse Ranch Resort ~ Highland, New York
Sundance Guest Ranch ~ Ashcroft, British Columbia (Canada)
Sylvan Dale Guest Ranch ~ Loveland, Colorado
Three Bars Guest & Cattle Ranch ~ Cranbrook, British Columbia (Canada)
Whistling Acres Guest Ranch ~ Paonia, Colorado
White Stallion Ranch ~ Tucson, Arizona
Wit's End Guest Ranch & Resort ~ Vallecito Lake, Colorado
By the way I went to this website http://www.guestranches.com/activities/29/tennis_ranches.php
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I'm pretty sure some of you teens out there have the same "Mom" problem as I do. Here goes. My mom is a really nice person and she cares about me ALOT but i could NEVER please her. It feels like shes ALWAYS YELLING at me. Belive me i TRY to pick up around the house when i have time and after i do shes happy. A little while later when im relaxing shes yelling at me for something thats not in its right place, something on the floor etc. I try to tell my mom that i TRY to help but she thinks i could do me. I mean when i get home from school im TIRED and when she comes home shes yelling at me for some apparent reason like If im watching tv or something. Im a striaght A student and im very athletic and she doesnt act like shes proud of me or anything. I get depressed about it because my mom sacrificed ALOT to raise my sister and I and I know shes very depressed and she always has pains and everything. I dont know what im doing wrong. I think its my mom on one hand because she thoroughly cleans the house like everyday. I dont believe you NEED to thoroughly clean the house everyday. Picking up around yes but not really cleaning. I dont know what im doing wrong and its making me really depressed. I asked my mom what i can do more and she says clean up around. I am VERY tired when i come home and i also have homework plus volleyball games...i have no time to really clean the house. I try to help her as much as i can but there is something lacking that she is not telling me. I could never please her. Please guys, can anyone tell mer from reading this what is my fault in it or my mother's fault?
Thanks alot and dont worry just for reading all of it i rate high. (link)
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Hey. It sounds like your mom is under a lot of stress right now and she knows what a wonderful daughter you are. She is probably relying on you because she knows you're always there for her. Write a letter to her explaining how you feel (a lot of times things are easier in writing) and say how much it's hurting you that she never compliments you but always complains about what you're doing wrong. I think she feels that if she keeps pushing you you'll suceed more than she could ever imagine but she doesn't understand how you feel hurt that she never compliments you. She knows how good you do so she probably feels she doesn't need to say those things out loud but only the things that will make you do better. I would write the letter and she's sure to understand. I really hope this helps and good luck! =)
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my mother is like a different person than when i first met her. she's like two different people in one body. this week, i went on a retreat, and i left her a letter telling her about how much i hate my school and how stupid that school makes me feel. she said she really liked my letter and that she would seriously consider letting me transfer schools. then the minute my aunt walks into the room, she starts screaming. she told me i could never go another school, and if i have to stay in the school that i'm in now, i sware, i've literally thought of like driving myself to another school when my mom drops me off at school or like have someone come pick me up. like, this lady is bipolar and this is definatley not my mommy. i think my real mother was like ubducted by aliens or something, what can i do about her?? please please give me some advice about the school issue, because this lady, whoever she is, doesn't care about anything i have to say. im not even kidding about the car thing, i'm like totally serious and i've made like my main goal to get out of that school, and no one is going to change my mind, even if like i get myself kicked out. ive considered talking to the headmistress and having her ask me to leave, ?? (link)
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Hey. It sounds like your mommy might have really been touched about your letter but then she thought about it and said no... this might not be what's best for her. Maybe she felt bad saying this to you one on one (or embaressed) and decided that when your aunt was around she had back-up and could tell you her new feelings. Just tell her one on one how you feel and how much your school is hurting you. Say how shocked you were when she yelled at you and how depressed you truly are at this school. She's your mommy, I'm sure she'll understand. If not seek help from an older source but I'm pretty sure your mommy will understand. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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