ChOcOLoLo's advice column | ChOcOLoLo's Advice About Families

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Q: I think im going phyco.I spend about half my day by myself because my family is always working or over a friends house.I ahng with friends yes but i want to see my family and it doesnt happen.they have to work and i understand that but we do nothing as a family.I feal terrible because i have asked for a diffrent family.is that bad.they dont abuse me they just leave to go to worik or friends and im sick of being alone ive started talking to myself and it scares me cause i talk in the sence of there 2 more people there with me.im not aloud to have friends over when im by myself so yeah ive tryed but it sux i even pretend that my best friend is there wat do i do to get my family closer or to spend more time with me.....

katie

Hey there! The best thing to do is talk to your family, and honestly tell them how you feel. Being straight-forward of your feelings is the best way to approach and solve a situation. For instance, when one of your family members are not busy at the moment, approach them and explain to him/her how concerned you are that the family is not really spending time together, leaving you to feel alone. With one family member knowing and understanding how you feel, they may feel the same way and inform your other family members of this. Also, if for example, everyone is at home in the morning before they head to work, possibly, eat breakfast with them and fully announce to everyone how you sincerely feel. Tell them, "I feel that we're not spending time together lately. And by the end of the day, I want us to make time for each other, and to know how each of our days has been." Also, if your parents get home late when you're already sleeping, you could write them a letter and leave it for them to read when they come home, which explains to them of how your day was, what you want to let them know, and most importantly how you feel.
I sincerely hope everything will work out! Take care always!
♥, normie

Q: I hate my dad..I'm not joking. I honestly do and not just for some stupid reason.
My dad always is threatening my mom with a divorce and stuff she starts crying. I hate seeing her cry when she never even did anything to deserve this. He always is calling her horrible names and cussing at her and me. He hits her sometimes too..she almost called the police. He even hit me once..
I'm so scared of him and so is my mom and my brother. I haven't talked to any of them yet about this. Whenever I hear him yelling or something I'm usually in my room and I start crying because it really is starting to upset me. I can't even TALK to my own dad..whenever he says something to me all the horrible things that he has done to my mom and I in the past just flash back in my mind and I can't speak and I have tears in my eyes. Everytime I hear him screaming at my mom I just want to go down there and tell him to calm down and leave her alone but, I just can't..I'm too scared. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't talk to anyone in my family about this.
How do I help my mom and get my dad to stop yelling all the time?

Hey there! I agree with cj down there, the greatest thing you can do right now is to pray. Praying will truly help you divinely and can grant you that special peace especially needed when encountering problems like this... Also, the best thing you can do for your mom right now is to spend time with her and comfort her by just talking. Listening to someone who is going through a difficult time can help a million, and will truly make your mom feel better and stronger to face the situation. Helping her with errands or around the house is also very helpful, and your mom will truly appreciate it. Your mom, brother and you could also spend time together outdoors and do something fun, to be free from this problem, and to discuss it. The best thing you can do for your father right now is to just pray for him... Hopefully he'll be enlightened, and truly see how his actions are hurting others.
I really hope everything works out. Take care always and God bless....

Q: I'm a high school sophomore. I've been playing volleyball for travel ever since I was in 7th grade. This year, I haven't really been interested in playing volleyball. I didn't try out this year for club, but they have an opening for me. My dad's heart is set on me playing volleyball, but it doesn't interest me anymore. When I told him I didnt want to try out, he got really mad at me. Should I play travel or not? I don't want to but it would make my dad happy. If not, what should I say to him that won't make him upset or mad at me? Please help!

Hey there! The best thing is to be honest and tell him how you feel. Set a time where both of you can sit down and have a meeting together on how you both feel on your joining volleyball this year. Just be straight-forward,be honest and tell him that although you know he has particular reasons for you to join volleyball this year, you want to try different things. Hopefully, your dad will understand because it truly is your decision. Take care always, and I wish you the best of luck....

Q: Recently I had a slumber party. One of the girls(who is like my bff since 2nd grade) grabbed the phone and called this boy she likes. I saw nothing wrong with it. My mom and older sister though thought she was acting 'wild.' So now my mom is thinking that I am going to be wild. She thinks I also need an attitude adjustment. She also thinks that I'm going to be worse than my sisters attitude when she was 13/14. I dont think I need an attitude adjustment! What should I do to help my Mom realize I'm not wild. Help fast- I rate high...

Hey there! My mom sometimes feels the same way when I hang out with my friends, so I know how this feels. Don't worry though! =D In order to help your mom to realize that you're not wild, is to show her. Conduct yourself in a mature manner when around her and visitors. Have good manners. Go for the good grades and study hard. I'm not telling you to fullout change yourself, but help your mom know that you can be mature, but also have a good time with friends. Take care!

Q: My best friend probably has the worst life i could imagine. Her home life is a wreck, her mother constantly yells and screams and blames her for her family problems. She can't even spend an entire day in her house without getting blamed and screamed at. Her mom has this "disease" which i personally think is just a scapegoat, considering her mom just sits on the couch all day, smokes, watchews tv, and eats. She dosn't work or anything, and when my best friend comes home, she just harrasses her. Caling her a slut, a cunt, bitch, anything.

Her younger brother gets everything he wants, and i hate to tell her this, but he sells drugs, hangs out with the worst crowd ever, and yet her family idolizes it. the only two that ever notice his bad habbits are her and i, her family thinks he's just a fine kid. and they spoil him to death.

her house is aweful, her father always works and it's just a disaster. her mom never cleans up, her brother makes messes and my best friend is left to cope with it. it's no wonder why she's always leaving and getting outof the house .. she's basically lives at my house.

last week her mother beat her (her mom was drunk) and she kicked her out of her house. she drove over to my house, and stayed the night. the next day cops were here saying that she stole her car and had to return home. my mother and her have talked and my mom really wishes to have her live with us, her home life is just aweful. but her parents won't allow it.

so much more happens to her that i just can't sum up in this. i feel aweful and don't know what to do for her. no one takes her seriously and im afraid one day she's going to snap. she's the nicest, most prettiuest person i know, and no one would ever expect her to have this life. i;m scared one day it's all going to end, she's going to go down the wrong path or take her life. idk what to do for her. she needs to get out of that house. help her.

Hey there! First of all, I would like to say that you are a really great friend! =D. What you could do is have a conference with your friend and her mother, along with you and your mother to inform her [friend's mother] about the things that her daughter is going through, how it affects her, and how she feels. Also, you could tell your friend to see an adult person like a councelor because it seems that she doesn't have that older person in her life to support her. I hope everything works out...Take care!