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Q: 16/f. I love looking at myself in the mirror. And it's weird..because I'm not cocky and I'm not confident. But I'm like...self obsessed I guess. I spend about 30 minutes in front of a mirror before school. Everything has to be perfect. Sometimes, I'll just stand there and observe my features...and admire them. I also take a LOT of pictures of myself. SO many that there's not enought memory in my computer to store them all! And it's funny as well...because I've never had this problem before. Going through middle and elementary school, I could care less what I looked like. And in middle school and early high school, I had really bad acne problems and so I kept my face hidden from half the people half the time. Now, however, since I got a boyfriend this year and since I lost weight and began looking "prettier" I look at myself too much. I'm afraid this will develop into a serious narcissistic problem. It might already be. And it's interfering with my schoolwork...even though school's over - because I spend more time looking at myself in the mirror and fixing my hair and face...than actually taking notes in class! I don't know what to do. My face is beginning to clear up more (I'm on Accutane) yet ..what if the problem gets worse when my face is near flawless? I'm not conceited AT ALL. I don't come off that way. I just never had the confidence..and now it kinda shows..and I actually like myself for once. How can I manage this? Keep it normal? ...Ahhh.

i went through the same thing about 2 years ago. i finally started realizing i was pretty and i wanted to look at myself all the time, i always had mirrors out in school and would even look in window reflections to see how my hair and face looked. but guess what? this will pass, and it can actually be great because you are developing confidence. youre admiring your features instead of putting them down, which is good. BUT, on the other hand, obsessing over flaws and trying to make sure everything is perfect isnt healthy. its great to look in the mirror and like what you see, dont let that go away, but what you have to do is gradually stop looking in the mirror as much, and just every day stop yourself from the over-obsessing. being comfortable with yourself and confident at the same time is the best thing in the world. once i got over my worrying, i felt so much better. now, i feel beautiful all the time and know that nothing can ever be perfect. you dont have to be flawless to be beautiful, it comes from within. just love yourself as a person and realize looks are not the most important thing, and every day keep busy and focus on more important things, and eventually youll be confident but without the obsession. hope i helped!

Q: I've got problems with anxiety and depression and I am currently medicated for both. I've done well for quite a long time now. My husband and I would dearly love to have children together. I have recently seen a psychiatrist that pretty much scolded me for even considering to have children... I was hurt and shocked because I had never been treated like a handicapped person that shouldn't breed before. Are other people aware of this issue? If you are... what are your thoughts? Am I nuts for wanting children? Should I completely forget about it because of my problems? Any input of any opinion is welcome.

That lady is a nut case! No you are not nuts for wanting children, having children is a beautiful thing and i honestly dont think that medication would affect the child but you may want to look it up on google and make sure. I think that doctors and pschyiatrists these days are just SO focused on medicine they forget the true beauties of life. Don't let anyone get in the way of creating a life. I promise it'll be the best thing youll ever do in your life. THats what my mom always says about when she had us girls. Let me know how everything goes!

Q: hmm, where to start? Well, im a 13 year old girl. Everyone thinks that im this perfect girl, with a smile on her face everyday. But, on the inside i want to cry. No one knows that im feeling the way I am. I am so fake, that that makes me upset. Im like a prep. But, once I get home, I go upstairs and just cry. I dont know why this happens, or why im even crying. It might be because my friends are mad at me? That i got in trouble with the law recently and am going through that? That my parents dont trust me? That im failing school? hmm, im not sure. But I know the outcome is very upsetting. I cry myself to sleep, i've tried to cut but stopped. How though, im getting addicted to snapping hairbands on my wrist. And, ive wrapped my scarf around my neck tring to choke myself. No, i havent talked to anyone about this, I want to, but I just cant. The only person I thought about going to was my school counselor. but, i think that its because I dont want anyone to know whats happening on the inside.

I really am not sure what to do, but I need advice as soon as possible.

Thanks.

first off i am so sorry. it sounds to me like youve gone through ALOT lately, and i promise you it can all be solved. talk to your friends and try your best to make everything okay with them, soon theyll get over it anyway trust me, and as far as school goes..i know how it feels..but the good news is that i turned it around and its not as hard as it seems. it all starts with finding happiness and finding yourself and finding confidence. i'm sure youre very smart, if you wanna truly do better in school just remind yourself of how smart you are and try as hard as you can to do everything you need to do and remember how good youll feel once you do. but anyway, DO not resort to cutting, i know the hairbands may seem like they help, but truly, youve gotta stop inflicting pain on yourself. and this is important: talking to people about what youre feeling is CRUCIAL. we all suffer pain, and pain can be eased by the love and support from others, but the only way you can find that is by finding someone you completely trust and telling them exactly how you feel. i promise that theres someone out there who can help you turn everything around, whether it be your counselor or a best friend. and one more thing: just be YOU. labels are stupid and i knwo youre only 13 but i bet youre an amazing person with so much to offer, dont be afraid to let your true self shine. theres always sunshine after rain..just talk about this with as many trusted people as possible and let everything out..and remember how loved you are and that every day is a new day and a new chance to be happy and start all over. enjoy the little things in life and try finding something youre passionate about, such as music or art. you will heal in time, have faith in yourself and God and the love people have for you & advice theyre willing to give to you to help you. i promise it'll be okay.

Q: I masturbate like maybe once a week, is that normal?
or even okay in the Christian church?

i just feel weird and guilty after it.

of course! it's healthy and can be a huge stress reliever. dont worry, doing that has nothing to do with your christianity. its your body, its just you, its not like youre off having sex. having the ability to make ourselves feel good is a gift. enjoy it & dont worry!

Q: i really don't think that my nerves can take it anymore. I'm going to start from the beginning because I don't think you can fully understand the problem without understanding where it came from. It all started when I was about 13 years old. I go to an all girls school and have gone there my whole life. So, yes, it was a big deal for me to socialize with boys, maybe a little bit of an even bigger deal than it is for the average person. I'm not saying that I was boy crazy, it was just that it was important to me.. well to all of us that have been going there since we were little. But, that was the age I started talking to boys. I started talking to this one boy who really liked me. My mother sat next to me telling me everything to say and do, what to tell him, and what not to tell him. I was so mad at her for it, but now I understand. I get that I was 13 and I could have done something stupid, being it that this was the first time I'd ever socialized with the opposite sex. I understand her now. But, her little experiment has gotten out of control. I'm 17 years old and she goes on my myspace every day.... let me elaborate. She is not going on there just to make sure I'm not talking to some phsyco. Let me assure you, my mother KNOWS I would never do that. She's been spying on me for four years.... remember?? I have never drank in my life or smoked!! She knows that. I'm the most responsible person she could know... I'M A CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRL WHO WEARS KNEE HIGHS EVERY EFFING DAY, HAS ALL A'S IN EVERY CLASS, HAS OVER 200 COMMUNITY SERVICE HOURS AND A JOB!! Just so you can get a clear picture of me. My entire room and car is decorated with hello kitty and when i ask my mom to take me somewhere, it's to church. Just before you say she's trying to watch me or something. I may not be talking to strangers.... but she sure does. She goes on MY myspace to CHANGE MY WALLPAPER, CHANGE MY MUSIC, AND REQUEST FRIENDS!! Yes, she requests people that I DON'T KNOW!!

You see, about six months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. It was extremely terrible. We were very serious and the way everything happened was just awful. I'm not going to get into details, but let's just say it was one of the worst. Anyhow, I had to go to the hospital because the a-hole caused an ulcer. Even before I met him, I always had gastric problems, but it's just that this provoked it to become a little worst.

So, now that a little time has passed, my family was trying to get me back into a social life. They've tried to introduce me to guys, try to take me here and there, and get me in the mood to go out, and I've tried. But, one day I told my mother that I didn't want to date anyone who didn't look like him because I want someone who is something like him. Whatever you may think of this, that's not he point. But, that's what I told her. She went on myspace and requested someone I don't even know just because she thought he looked like the other one. Then, today, when I'm doing my homework, she comes up to me and tells me to go on myspace to show him to me. So, I go and I see him and it turns out that he is the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life. So, I told her thank you for her help, but I wasn't interested. Then she tells me "a-hole and his friend are flirting with these girls from the school next door. So, don't come crying to me later." Let me first tell you that the boy NEVER goes on myspace. Second of all let me tell you that he has FACEBOOK, which my mother got one just to SPY ON HIM!!! Turns out it's private, so she can't see him. My point is, she has no way of knowing that. So, let's just say that after an extremely big fight, she says she was just kidding and that she didn't mean for it to turn into an argument, that she was just testing me to see how jealous or how angry I would get.

I DONT THINK SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT I GO TO A VERY HARD SCHOOL!! The school I go to is ahead and all my courses are college courses. I'm super advanced and maybe I have to work a little harder than her. She has to come in here, while I'm trying to do my work and bother me about something stupid. Yesterday, she did the same thing, and i didn't get any work done because I was too pissed to do anything. I can't handle this anymore. I just finished my homework today, but i know i would have done so much better if I weren't fighting with her every two seconds. whatever the case may be, it's still my personal affairs and I've been very lenient as to giving her all my information. I'm tired of being humiliated like this and bothered when I'm trying to get ahead in life.... why is she doing this?? help me??

you need to look your mom in the eye and say "mom this is MY life and i'm sick of you trying to run it" she has no right to be in your business all of the time! and also, youre a teenager and you choose how you wanna live. lifes short..it would help if you got away from your mom and just tried new things..hung out with friends..got out there and enjoyed being young and do not worry about being perfect at school, etc. also, i'm so sorry about the breakup but TRUST ME ..you should find someone completely different from him. i know itll take time, but you will eventually be able to move on and find someone so much more amazing and kind..just have confidence and put yourself out there and meet guys on your own and stand up for yourself to your mom..she has no right to try to pick out guys for you or invade your privacy..tell her like it is and take a stand..i promise everything will get better shes just trying to relive her youth by becoming absorbed in yours. its very common. but she needs to realize you have to experience and do things on your own and find the strength to move on from that guy and find an even greater boy and its all up to you. sure she can help, but you have got to tell her to let YOU live your life. dont ever let her hold you back. this is your chance. hope i helped

Q: 15/f

I always feel like I'm being watched(stalked)...and I think my house maybe haunted! Especially at night..in my room there's this china doll above on a shelf and I always have a feeling like it's gonna move..you know..like it's possesed...I don't know why I feel like this and I want it to stop!

you could have Paranoia, which can be prescribed medicine to help it go away..but if you dont have it there are many ways to help ease your mind. it starts with reminding yourself that its all in your head. the doll is most definetely not gonna move and isnt possessed..movies/tv may show things like that but that doesnt actually happen so just remind yourself of that and get rid of the doll. and i can promise you youre not being watched or stalked at all..youre completely safe in your house..next time you start to think youre being watched..take a few deep breaths..listen to some music..and just keep reminding yourself its all in your head. try to rid yourself of all those thoughts and keep busy with things that bring you peace and happiness and remember none of that is really happening its just your mind. itll be okay trust me!

Q: 14/f

i hate being alive.

i hate everything i've ever done in this earth.

i don't enjoy anything, nothing holds my attention, nothing interests me. i'm always tired and pissed and upset.

i don't have any friends, and i don't have a bf.

i hate how life is only about obsession with your own body and judging people.

i wish i could die.

but i don't know how.

i'll be your friend! listen..at times life is hard but you shouldnt wish you could die because life is a gift and youre here for a reason..there are people that love and care for you and even though you may feel alone you arent..theres a whole world out there full of people who wanna help you and see you shine and go far in life which you can DEFINETELY do..try getting a physiatrist or someone who can help you i promise itll make you feel better. keep looking..you may find something that you really enjoy and youre passionate about..everbody has talents and everybody has something to offer and you have a purpose in life..just try to stay strong and get out there and meet people and let people help you because nobody deserves to feel the way you do..try finding some music you really love or keeping a diary or painting or something you can use to express yourself..and focus on the positive things in life..and the beautiful things were given such as sunsets and sunrises theres so much ahead of you someone otu there is your soulmate and i promise youll make friends its easy if you be friendly and meet people..just trust me it WILL get better..youre loved and cared about and deserve to go far..youre in control of your life and you have the power to turn everything around and find happiness it comes from within just try to build confidence in yourself and know that youre capable of anyting and youre beautiful inside and out..if you wanna talk to me my screenames swtsusie22. keep your head up its gonna be okay!!

Q: I am so vain, shallow, and pathetic. But I realized this a long time ago and cannot change it. My whole mood depends on how good I look. I skip school when I look bad (when I havn't waxed my disgusting excesive facial hair..im a girl, it unfair, i hate that i have it!) and when im forced to school, i get in fights and lots of trouble.. I fail tests.. etc etc etc.
When Im in a good mood, i get good grades, make friends, help people - all is good.

Problem is.. im getting more and more vain every day. I hate my huge nose, my excessive hair ALL OVER MY BODY, my tiny eyes, my small lips, my uneven skin. I get more and more depressed everyday. I've looked in to surgery but they refuse to do it on someone my age..too young.

Help me please.

all you need is confidence and the ability to be comfortable in your own skin..and believe it or not, confidence is easy to obtain. stop focusing on the things you dislike about yourself..nobody is perfect and you should tell yourself that youre beautiful because being truly comfortable in your own skin will change your life. try focusing on the things you LIKE about yourself and realizing that people arent looking at your flaws..your friends and others around you like you for YOU and theres so much more out there thats a billion times more important than how you look..beauty comes from within..if you find yourself feeling bad because you dont think you look as good as you should..tell yourself that it doesnt matter..you are who you are and being self-conscious will get you nowhere. stop insulting yourself because loving yourself is essential..confidence shines and you will feel WAY better..lots of girls get facial hair its not a big deal and if youre waxing it then dont worry about it..im sure youre very pretty and just concentrate on the good things and get out there and enjoy life and stop yourself when you start to think about how you look at that moment..it will take time but i promise itll get easier. cheer up! youve got your whole life ahead of you this is just a problem that you definetely have the ability to overcome.

Q: You know how people say if you have a positive attitude, good things will come your way or whatever? Well yeah it seems like whenever I'm in a good mood and I'm confident, I'm really happy and good things happen to me. But half the time, I'm in a really bad mood and bad things seem to happen to me. It's so annoying. I wish I could be in a good mood all the time instead being in a bad mood half the time. The littlest things put me in a bad mood, too. Like if I get a lot of homework in English class I'm pissed off for the whole day. Argggg. Is there anything I could do to, like, help me get out of a bad mood when I'm in one? I also get really mad at everyone when I'm in a bad mood too lol. Help?

i used to get in bad moods alot too but this year ive been extremely positive and thats made me ALOT ALOT happier. when little things start to bother you, just realize to yourself that LIFE GOES ON and everything happens for a reason. also it helps if you think about things you really love and are looking forward to..and generally just keep your mind off of it and surround yourself with positive things.

Q: i always feel so ugly my friends are gorgeous and have boyfriends no matter what i always feel left out or outta place what do i do to gain self respect and a more pretty appearance

comparing yourself to everyone else just makes it harder on yourself. you have to realize that you have beauty that is just waiting to be let out! boyfriends are most definetely not everything..being single and having confidence can be much more meaningful than having a boyfriend. i think you should think of all the things you like about yourself and focus on those things, and realize that you are worth so much more and can go far in life if you eliminate the thoughts that say you are ugly..because those thoughts are never right! let your best aspects of your personality come out..let loose..and enjoy the little things! youre certainly not out of place! just focus on the things that make you happy in life and love the person that you are without worrying about not being good enough..cause those worries take away the beauty of life and you are most definetely good enough.

bio

hey all you pretty people out there.my names susan but i love to spell it Soozin..im passionate about helping people and making people laugh and just being weird..i believe that anybody has the power to change the world and love really is all we need. ask me anything you want i love this site its kickass!