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normal?
I masturbate like maybe once a week, is that normal?
or even okay in the Christian church?
i just feel weird and guilty after it.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
It is perfectly fine, and very normal.
I don't know why the church would have a
problem with it since it helps with
abstinence, which they would like you
to practice.
OK, I can't control myself. Its not
okay to actually do it in church. :)
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Masturbation is a sign of a healthy and normal sex drive.
Guilt is a sign that your church is damaging you mentally with their BS about sexual purity.
Now, to answer your question. Is it OK?
Heres where you get a lesson in perspective. Many things, including truth, are determined entirely by someone's perspective.
Take masturbation. In every denomination of Christianity you would find people from all walks of life who would say that its ok, and who would say that its not. For many different reasons.
I'll go ahead and forewarn you, I have a bias. I think (as stated above) that masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy and even is a good thing. The desire for sex is hardwired into everyone. Some have higher sex drives than others, but the desire for sex is universal.
Now, when you get horny and you arent sexually active, that stress and tension can build and drive you insane. Eventually the need to relieve it almost becomes a compulsion. Take me, I orgasm at least once daily, often more than once. In fact, I will often have sex once or twice a day and masturbate once or twice a day. I simply have that high of a sex drive. If I dont, its generally because I am stressed or upset, which kills sex drive. If I AM horny and don't orgasm, I notice that I become a bit more irritable and am not as centered in myself.
Other people can go longer, for instance, for you it takes a week to have that tension build up that I have in the course of 12 hours.
So, obviously, I think masturbation is a good thing, and I disagree heavily with people who say that it isnt.
Reasons why people say that its not.
- The act itself is "perverted". Many religions either hold that sex is "dirty" or that sex is "sacred" or some combination thereof. I disagree, I think that sexuality is beautiful and a very necessary thing in the human race.
- The thoughts are perverted. This one is common in Christianity. People like to pretend that they are pure. Its why no one talks about sex at work, its why there is so much controversy over sexually explicit material in this country. Everyone thinks about sex, but everyone want's to pretend that they do not. Usually because they believe that the first bullet point is true.
Sexual fantasy is just as normal as any other part of human sexuality. But the religious protest against the sexual objectification of others, say for instance a kid thinks a girl in his class is pretty and thinks about her when he masturbates.
There can be other reasons, but usually these reasons involve things that people were taught that are false. Myths about masturbation created because the first two reasons wont stop everyone from masturbating. Common myths
- People can tell when you Masturbate
- Your fingernails will turn black
- Your penis will become curved or your vagina will somehow be damaged
- You will grow hair in unnatural places.
- It will make you unable to perform sexually (actually, studies show that men who masturbate regularly usually have more control over themselves and have a lower chance of difficulty with premature ejaculation)
Etc, etc.
Now, reasons why its a good thing, Ive stated above. But lets recap.
- It releases tension.
- It gets you aquainted with your sexual organs
- It is enjoyable and feels good.
- It stimulates the imagination (Sexual fantasy gives the mind a bit of a workout in both concentration and imagination)
- It is "you" time. Sex is always about both people, but its permissible and entirely normal to be selfish sometimes. Masturbation lets you do that.
- It allows you to explore and enjoy fantasies that might not be real possibilities for you.
In my book, you are just fine. Keep something in mind. Masturbation IS by definition somewhat of a private act. As I said, its "you" time. What you do in the privacy of your own home, room, whatever that does not hurt anyone is no one's business but your own.
Oh, and the guilt. In this world, society sets rules, and teaches these rules and how you are supposed to feel about them to others.
You have been taught and exposed to viewpoints which would lead you to think that masturbation is bad in some way. Remember that these are the _opinions_ of those around you, these are not facts. You have been _taught_ to feel guilty about what is going on. If you had not been taught this, you would not actually feel wierd about it afterwards.
It can take time to unlearn things like this, but in the overall measure as you grow into an adult, you will realize that not everything you have been taught is true. Perspective, remember? Just because some people think something is wrong does not mean that it is.
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of course! it's healthy and can be a huge stress reliever. dont worry, doing that has nothing to do with your christianity. its your body, its just you, its not like youre off having sex. having the ability to make ourselves feel good is a gift. enjoy it & dont worry!
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