I'm a thirteen-year-old who loves writing, playing piano, and giving advice. I'm happy to answer any question you ask me, and I'll give you the best advice I can. I like answering love life and mental health questions, as well as ones about LGBTQ issues.
I'm going to say a little more about me. I love Greek mythology, and my favorite Greek god is Athena, the goddess of wisdom. (You can tell from my username.)
I believe strongly in equality for all people. And I think no one should ever be discriminated because they are different.
I love it when people use proper spelling and grammar in their questions and answers -- I know I always try to do so (but like every other human being, I make mistakes sometimes). It makes you look smarter, and it's so much easier to read!
One more thing . . . this is an awesome advice site! Several of the people on here give really helpful advice and answers. The least I can do is give some advice back.
E-mail: athena4896@gmail.com
Age: 13
Member Since: August 22, 2013
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Last Update: December 28, 2013
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I just now had a dream that I died. I don't know how I had it, but yesterday I was talking about death and stuff with my friend. Do you think that's how I had the dream?
The dream felt so real. I was so scared when I woke up and I really don't want to experience that again. Any advice on how to not have it again? (link)
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It's probably just because you were talking about it with your friend.
Also, dreams about death can mean certain things. I think this link will help you:
http://dreammoods.com/cgibin/dreamdictionarysearch.pl?method=exact&header=dreamsymbol&search=death
To avoid having bad dreams again, avoid watching scary movies before bed. (Once, I watched an extremely scary movie before going to bed. And around midnight I crawled into my mom's room to sleep in there. I kept her up half the night because I was whimpering.)
Meditating before you go to bed also helps. It's also important to think about positive things.
Being able to relax is important. You will be more likely to have bad dreams if you are under stress.
There are actually ways to control your dreams (I think it is called lucid dreaming). I think this might help as well.
http://www.wikihow.com/Control-Your-Dreams
I hope I helped. And I hope you don't have that dream again. :)
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My mom saw my self-harm scars and told my dad.. Well he called me an attention-seeker. He doesn't know what I go through and why I do it and I don't want to tell him. What do I do?
P.S. Please don't tell me to get professional help or anything like that. Thanks (link)
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I'm sorry that your parents aren't very supportive. Sometimes, when a kid is self-harming, the parents get angry at them, tell them they're grounded, and say they're just trying to get attention. It doesn't help much when they do that.
When I first started cutting, my mom didn't exactly approach it the right way. She said I was just doing it because one of my friends was doing it, which wasn't true at all. But I was able to talk to her about it, and now she's very supportive. I was thinking that you could ask your mom if you could see a therapist. I mean, I know you don't want to get professional help, and I didn't want help either at first. But a therapist might be able to help you find better ways to cope with whatever you're going through and make your parents understand you more.
Sometimes, when you don't feel like you have anyone to talk to or anyone who will support you, calling a hotline is a good idea.
The self-harm hotline is 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288).
And if you want to talk to me, my email is athena4896@gmail.com.
I don't know if you have read this far or not. But I think you should try to find a few alternatives for self-harm. Here are some of the things I do when I have an urge to self-harm, and I think you should at least give them a try.
- Take a shower -- you can make it super cold or super hot, or just keep it at an average temperature if you just want it to be relaxing.
- Go running. Exercise is a great stress reliever, and the pain in your legs can distract you from the urge to cut.
- Try meditation, breathing exercises, or relaxing yoga poses. I meditate for a few minutes every day, which helps a lot. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and bring your focus to an inward subject. When I meditate, I usually focus on my breathing or on a calming image from nature, such as the sunset.
- Write in a journal or write poetry to express how you feel, if you're someone who is creative or enjoys writing.
- Call or text a friend. They can make you feel better or help you get your mind off of things by talking about something completely different.
- Do a hobby or another activity that is enjoyable and will help distract you. Try a puzzle that will challenge you and distract you from the pain you feel.
- Snap a rubber band on your wrist. The pain gives a sense of relief, and it leaves marks that look like scars, but they go away overnight.
- Drip some dark red paint on your wrist -- this helps if the sight of blood is important to you.
- Write out your anger on a piece of paper and rip it up.
- Holding an ice cube or rubbing it on your skin is helpful. You can dye it red if that helps.
- Try the butterfly project. Draw a butterfly on the place where you want to cut. Name it after someone you love, and let it fade naturally. If you cut before the butterfly fades away, it dies. But if you don't, you set it free.
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Do you think 80 tylenol and say about 20 robax and some anti-deppressants will do the job for me? (link)
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I'm sorry you feel like this. I felt suicidal for a long time. But things eventually got better for me, and I like life more now. I know now that suicide doesn't make things better -- instead, it takes away the possibility for things to ever get better.
I hope you will soon feel better about life as well. I'm going to try to help you.
Here are a few things to think about:
Do you really want to kill yourself? Most likely, you just want the pain to go away. You've already had enough pain. I can tell.
What problems are you facing, and are there any solutions other than killing yourself? Are your problems so permanent and awful that there is nothing else that can be done to alleviate them? Talk to someone about your situation, and they will help you find other solutions.
Think about the reasons why you should live (there are many, even if you don't realize it). What things have you been wanting to do before you die? And whom will your decision affect? There are people out there who love you and don't want you to kill yourself. Remember that I love you just because you are going through what I have gone through before, and you deserve to be loved.
Don't focus on the bad things in life. Focus on the good things. Find someone to talk to, and find something that is enjoyable and makes you feel better.
I'm more than happy to talk to you if you need someone to listen. If you're feeling sad about something, you can send me a text. My number is 760-805-6077.
If you're still alive right now (I certainly hope so) it means that you are strong. Your life is worth much more than you might think it does. I know everything seems hard now, but you'll find a reason to keep going -- no matter what problems you have.
Stay strong,
Athena
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I just started cutting myself... I wanna stop but nothing helps me feel better. what should I do? (link)
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Hi! I recently stopped cutting myself. It is very hard to stop, and I think it would help if you talked to a therapist. You might have to look around to find one that is right for you.
I'm going to give you a few tips on things you can do instead. You said nothing helps you feel better though, but I'll do my best to help you find an alternative that will work.
First of all, you should try to figure out what situations make you want to cut. Then find something to do instead of following that urge. Here's something else to think about: do you cut to release anger, to express intense emotions, to calm down, or because you feel numb? Knowing this will help you find the right alternatives.
Here are a few things you can do instead of cutting. Some may work and some may not.
- Take a shower -- you can make it super cold or super hot, or just keep it at an average temperature if you just want it to be relaxing.
- Go running. Exercise is a great stress reliever, and the pain in your legs can distract you from the urge to cut.
- Try meditation, breathing exercises, or relaxing yoga poses. It helps calm you down and relieve stress.
- Write in a journal or write poetry to express how you feel, if you're someone who is creative or enjoys writing.
- Call a friend. They can make you feel better or help you get your mind off of things by talking about something completely different.
- Do a hobby or another activity that is enjoyable and will help distract you. Try a puzzle that will challenge you and distract you from the pain you feel.
- Snap a rubber band on your wrist. The pain gives a sense of relief, and it leaves marks that look like scars, but they go away overnight.
- Drip some dark red paint on your wrist -- this helps if the sight of blood is important to you.
- Write out your anger on a piece of paper and rip it up.
- Holding an ice cube or rubbing it on your skin is helpful. You can dye it red if that helps.
- Try the butterfly project. Draw a butterfly on the place where you want to cut. Name it after someone you love, and let it fade naturally. If you cut before the butterfly fades away, it dies. But if you don't, you set it free.
I hope some of these helped you. Remember, you can be creative and come up with other ones.
Do your friends and family members know about this? Find someone you can trust -- whether it's a family member or school counselor or somebody -- and tell them that you self-harm. It takes courage to do this, but you will be able to. I've done it before -- it was hard, but I was relieved when I told someone I trusted. You can always talk to that person when you want to cut, and they can help you avoid self-harming.
Remember, even though it might seem hard to stop now, it is possible. Self-injury isn't an uncommon thing -- several people do it or have done it. But they have gotten through it and found a way to stop, and so can you. I believe in you.
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Hi.. Well this might be not a question you would hear everyday.. I dont think my other question posted.. But anyway.. I have cut/Self Harm for a year now.. I really want to stop.. Its just hurting my family and friends too much.. :( can i get some tips to stop? Please dont judge. (link)
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Hi! I know this question was posted a while ago, but I just want to say that I feel the same way. I have cut for about a year as well, and I want to stop because it's hurting the people I love.
When you feel like you want to cut, you can try one of these tips instead:
- Take a shower (it sometimes helps to make the temperature either really hot or cold -- just make sure there are no razors in the shower).
- Go running or do another kind of exercise -- exercise can be an effective way to relieve stress. The pain in your legs from running might also give you a sense of relief.
- Call a friend. They can help make you feel better, or you can talk about something different to get your mind off if it.
- Write poetry about how you feel.
- Try meditation or yoga exercises -- it's great for helping you calm down.
- Make some fake blood or just get some red paint and drip it on your wrist -- this helps if the sight of blood is important to you.
- Take a tall glass of water and drip red food coloring in it.
- Snap a rubber band on your wrist -- it leaves marks that look like scars, but they go away over night.
- Find a good book or something fun that will help distract you. Try a puzzle that will challenge you and make you think about something other than how you feel.
- This one has helped me the most: Draw a butterfly on the place where you want to cut and name it after someone you care about. Let the butterfly fade naturally. If you cut before the butterfly fades, it dies. But if you don't, you set the butterfly free.
- Lastly, just remember that your friends and family care about you and don't want you to hurt yourself. Remember that I also don't want you to hurt yourself. I can see that you are an amazing person, and you deserve to be loved. Go talk to a family member or someone else who cares. Thank them for loving you.
I hope these tips help! Some might work better for you than others, and you can be creative and think of other things you can do when you feel the urge to cut. Remember, even though it might seem hard to stop now, you will be able to stop. I believe in you.
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