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Q: i still love my ex. i am dating someone though. and today i finally talked to my ex since our break up. he got into a wreck adn got a dui and mip. he is in job corp and on probation and may be going to jail. while we were talking he told me that he thinks about me quite a bit, and i told him that i stll love him. i don't know how to tell my new bf cuz he loves me adn wants to get married soon. but i was engaged to my ex when i told him that i had feelings for another guy, we broke up and got back together, then after a lil while he broke up with me. i tried getting over it and got with another guy, who is great and everything i could possibly want. but really all i want deep inside is my ex, how do i let my bf know this and let my ex know that i love him and would do anything to get him back. ps, i fucked him over a lot adn he fucked me back, but i know we can get over it. please help

Although it may hurt you're new boyfriend, just tell him. You need to focus on your happiness first rather than the happiness of someone else as selfish as that may sound. Just tell him that you're sorry and that he's a great guy but you still love your ex. It may hurt it but at least you're being honest. And for your ex. Just tell him EXACTLY how you feel, no one can tell you what to tell him because we don't know how your relationship with him was and how you feel about him. All in all the only answer is to be completely honest.

Q: Hi there. I have a kind of situation in here, which may need help.
I broke up with this girl from 2 months before, as she was having some emotional problems with someone else (ex, long story). Well, as i needed some answers of why, i asked her 3-4 times to speak to me, but first she told me she doesnt think so, then she told me she needs time, and than again she needs time and so on.
Last Thursday she sent me a message "i dont know if i should be telling you this, but i saw you in my dreams these days, tormenting me. Maybe because of the july, i dont know". (we used to knew eachother in July before 2 years). I told her that i kept seeing her too in my dreams and that is very strange.
Well, i dont know, this girl or is too stupid, or too smart :) yesterday, i told to her this other message "you know that i dont like superficiality. I know you thought a lot before sending me that message. If there is something to talk, lets talk.". And later she told me: "I just wrote some thoughts, thats it. There is no need to make it such a big deal. I didnt ask any answer in return, just describing some dreams. Goodnight!"
I told her this other thing: "I dont know why it was so important to tell me about those dreams, knowing the fact that im going to move on.
Dont put me in a game where you dont want to play". After that, i received this other one: "Hey, i didnt beg you for not moving on, or asked anything from you. I just told you some dreams, and your reaction is up to you. I am not playing, i never did.".

Well, as i see, this one or is too stupid or is too smart. You break up before 2 months and you cant send your ex a message like this. I think this is not so normal, isnt that ? I think this is a way to keep me around, so i told her "its not a problem, you can share whatever you want, but dont tell me you werent expecting for an answer :)"
On the other side, i know she is with someone else right now (this ex of her, i told you before. i dont know how is going, but i dont think its going fine between them). What do you think? Was it just a "share of thoughts" or its like a playing mind games? What do you think about this one? cause every time i asked her what is up in her mind, she doesnt admit that she wants anything. Ok, i guess, and i know her enough to say this, cause in these kind of situations, she doesnt have the courage to ask me anything, or to make clear or admit that she wants me to take her back, cause she wants me to make this tought decision by myself. What do you think? What do you suggest? I want this girl back, i admit this. She has been my love, and i still love her, but i dont want to be hurt again, i mean, i have to admit that im a little afraid about her real wants and needs, and im afraid that im being a little pathetic and is only my mind who is making these situation, and i dont want to make a decision and ask her to come back, because of this. Or i should at least try? What do you suggest?

It's hard to tell if she was playing games with you. She may have been, or she may have just been telling you something she felt the need to tell you. Or she might have even done a bit of both, seeing as how some girls tend to tell someone something but not really notice they're doing it to play a game or get the reaction they want out of the person. You say you love her, but you don't want to get hurt. If you love her and want her back then go ahead and tell her you still have feelings for her, but don't make her feel like she's needed. Just tell her you like her and are willing to get back together if anything were to happen between her and her boyfriend. If that happens, let her know that you don't like the fact of there being another guy in the picture. If you two get back together, before doing so, make sure she doesn't still have feelings for him, because things will probably repeat itself. Once you've told her that, just drop it, don't bring it back up. Go on with whatever it is you do. Tell me how things go =]

Q: well me and muh boiifrined jusr broke up and i rally liked him. lets just say i was really hooked. and i think he left me for another gurl but i aint sure. and this is like the third time i get muh heartbroken this bad. and im so thinkin bout becomin a lesbian. wut should i do??

One qustion, how do you "become" lesbian? You can't just decide you want to be and then later on be like "Oh no, I was only lesbian for 2 weeks." Which people tend to do alot. You can't "become" anything, you either are or you aren't. Sorry, it just pisses me off when people say that. Not trying t offend you, but that's kind of stupid.

Q: 14/f

i was textin` my boyfriend.. and then he had a problem w/ my top at first.. since he was number three.. but he had to understand that no guy can go before my bestestest friend.. and that i couldnt make her number 3 either.. and he didnt care about that, i think.. O.o and then it turns out that he didnt like the person on my top 1.. and stuff like that.. but he doesnt know her well enough to say things about her and all. and then later on he told me that he was going to miami next month for a week, and he said "it wouldnt be any difference.. we never get to see eachother anyways, we can js text." and i was lik` "i see you every week" and he said "haha yeahh.. wait lemme correct that, once a week." and he doesnt understand .. cause i have alot of things to do.. depends on the weather, my sister sometimes cant take me.. and my parents dont like me being w/ him and stuff.. and hes the only person i get to see every week since my friends live kinda far away from me. and then i said "is something bothering you?" and he said "no nothing at all" >.< and he says that hes thinking about the past.. and i told him that hes worrying me. and he said "whys that?" and i told him to reread that he said.. and yannoe what he said? "-_- whatever.." >.< idkk whats going on.. i wanna stop texting because im scared whats going to happen. he says he wouldnt leave me cause he loves me so much.. but idkk >.< im getting scared.. and worried. please help me!!!

♥ mary

First of all, stop worrying yourself so much over it. If it's something big or anything like that, he'll tell you eventually. Thinking about it so much and worrying yourself about it is not going to make you feel any better. If he says nothing is wrong, just listen to him, even if you know it's not necessarily true. If he isn't telling you then he obviously doesn't want to. Don't keep asking him though. If you have to know though, don't talk about it over text, wait until he comes back and then talk to eachother about it. If he still won't tell you and you're worried, just ask him it's anything you should be worried about or if it has anything to do with the two of you. If he says no the only thing you can do is take his word for it. But before he gets back next time you text him just ask him if he wants you to just talk to him when he gets back seeing as how he said he's thinking about the past. Let him think. Give him the time to. In the meantime, just stop worrying yourself about it so much. And try not to think of what could be wrong because it's going to make you worry that much more.

Q: i love you so much and i cant wait till sunday!!!!!!! i love you

love jordan
p.s. and waldo :)

I love you so much too. Gah, I'm so exciteddd. I'm giving you THE biggest hug ever when I get to your house. Oh, and do you think Waldo will be there because I haven't seen him in forever either. I love you, baby. =]

Q: ok, tonite me and my bf and my bestie and another guy(not her bf) were gonna go to the movies, but my parents said that they had to come to the first couple dates of me and my bf. soo that was fine, but on the way there he keeps calling me asking me what road this theatre is on (i dont know why, everyone goes to this one) soo then he calls me one more time and says oh can i get a ride home with you because my mom doesn\'t wanna drive all the way back to get me. and i asked my mom and she said no because his house was so far away from ours. so he was like well sorry then i can\'t come. (oh yea and earlier before we left for the movie, the guy friend going with us cancelled, which was fine) soo i was like,, well ok i guess. so then it was just me and my best friend, and my brothers and dad. (dad and bros sat away from us) soo basically it was like a waste of 50 dollars, and my parents were really mad. i got chewed out for it, and they said that was my only chance to go so we cant date i guess. ok, so i need advice of what i should do? because like if we cant go out then we may as well not date, theres no point. should i talk to him about it? should i break up with him? help please, i rate!

If you seriously like this guy, then I think you should stay with him. I'm sure there are other ways of the two of you getting to be with eachother other then just the movies. Besides, if you really liked this guy, not being able to see him that much shouldn't really matter. I'm sure that the two of you could work something out, just plan ahead and both of you let your parents kno about your plans, so there won't be any sudden cancellations.

Q: ive had a big crush on my best friend for the longest time. in feb, i told him how i felt about him and he told me that he couldnt commit and would rather just be friends. he kept giving off the wrong ideas to me because thats the way he shows affection, by hugging flirting ect. but he did not like me. basically i kept getting hurt because i kept wanting to believe he did and then got let down. until one day i told him i got over him (not entirely true).

ever since we've become best friends and earlier this month he confessed somthing to me. he told me that he was going through a phase where he wasnt sure of his sexuality, in other words he thought that he was gay. but he said that he realized that he is strait. and he told me that when i told him i liked him, he wasnt sure what to do because really he does care about me but he couldnt see me like that. but now things are so totally different. the only thing keeping us apart is fear, he is afraid or commitment. he said that he cant afford a relationship because well lets just say his first girlfriends broke his heart and his second one was too clingy. and he doesnt want to ruin our friendship i guess.
god if only he knew that i wont be like them.

i really like him and he doesnt even know about it. he really seems to like me too, i think. i mean he always sits next to me, puts his arm around me, grabs my hands and plays with them, hugs me- and then says he wants another hug, waits for me, wants to hang out with me all the time, makes fun of me- by calling me pet names, and the other day i saw him looking at me in class and when i looked at him he turned away.

i gave up all hope on him until he hinted that he might like me but obviously he isnt gonna put his feelings on the line because he thinks that i dont like him. if thats what he really wants i could stand just being friends, its not that bad actually. but i really do like him and well i want to tell him but i dont exactly know how to. do u think that if i threw major hints then he might respond? what are some good hints that he wont miss? seriously i need help on this one. how do i let him know that i will be a great girlfriend and i wont break his heart. how can i make him get over his problems with commitment?
THANK YOU SO MUCH =)

Start flirting with him alot. And seeing as how he knew you used to like him before, your flirting is going to make him realize "Hey, she might like me again." To throw some hints out to him the best way is to do it in a joking manner. Like, "You're cute, we should date." Just joke around with it, always worked for me. And as for his worries about commitment and a painful break-up. There's not really much you can do about that, except to show him tha you're not like his other past girlfriends, listen to him and just be reallly good to him, don't do anything to upset him, and he'll start to trust you about more and if he likes you, he'll see that he could hold a relationship with you because of the fact that you ARE different.

Q: there is this girl i like but i have not talked to her in ages. she is having a party and i wsa invited but i dont think she knows i like her. Should i go to the party and what should i do??

I say go to the party. First of all, you were invited, unless you have something important to do that night, it would be rude to turn it down. And seeing as how you haven't spoken to her a long time, it would be a great time to talk to her and if things go well, start flirting with her a bit. Don't just flat out immediatley tell her that you like her that exact night. If she seems like she likes you and flirts back then there's definitely a good chance of getting together. Wait a couple of days to tell her you like her, if you decide to tell her.

Q: 14/f
ive been going out with my boyfriend for not even a month but ive liked him for a really long time we were at the movies the other day and i gave him a hand job..it was my first time and now i feel really slutty and i regret it..is this normal?

Also we said that we werent going to tell ne one and that it was going to be "our little secret" but i really wanna tell my best friend..do u think i should?

You're definitely not the only one who feels slutty after they do something sexual, especially for the first time. If you regret it that much, then just wait a bit longer before you do something that sexual with him again because doing something for a guy to make him happy isn't worth the regret. And also, if the two of you agreed to keep it to yourselves, then it's probably best to do that. But, if you really want to tell your friend, then before doing so, talk to your boyfriend about it.

Q: there's this boy i really like. i know for a fact he likes me back; he's a pretty obvious flirt and he always says shit like "im single, do you want to date me now?" and yeah. the problem is that he's good friends with one of my friends. at first i kind of ignored his advances and laughed at him because it was just a little crush and i knew that my friend would be pissed if i dated him. but now i REALLY like him, i mean he really is the sweetest boy i've ever met. i can't get over him. and now i have two problems: 1) i kind of made it seem like i didn't like him when i ignored him flirting with me/i'm pretty sure my friend told him i wasn't interested and 2) my friend would be PISSED. i've seen it happen with all of her friends before. i like him so much and i hate it. what can i do to let this kid know that i'm actually interested without hurting my friend?

If you like this guy alot, you should let your friend know, she should be understanding and respect that. You're going to like whoever you like, you can't help that. If she gets mad then that's her problem not yours. But if you think that your friendship with her is more important than your feelings for him, than don't say anything. And if you want him to know you're interested, then just flirt with him. It's that simple.

Q: ok i dont know why but im always attracted to pervy guys! haha well the crush i had in 6th grade turns out to be pretty pervy, and now the guy i like my friend says is pretty pervy too. well they're also pretty cute and funny.. why do i keep falling for these guys and not like.. un-pervy guys? or maybe pervy guys like turn me on or something? ohgod that sounded weird hahaha

Ha, I used to do the same. I'd say that it's probably just the attraction, perverted guys are easier to see yourself getting intimate with, you know? BUT, luckily I'm out of that now.

Q: 13/f

alright. um..

i like this guy A LOT (we'll call him bob). he has a girlfriend & they've been going out for like more than a month. the thing is, they don't do anything. i never see them talk & they have only hugged like once. that's all the farther they've gone. my bff has been going out with this guy for 3 weeks & they hang out a lot, talk evweryday, are constantly holding hands, & have kissed like 4 or 5 times.

my problem is, is that i don't know if i could ever go out with someone like that. someone that doesn't act like a boyfriend should. so my question is, should i move on? should i wait for him? if i do & we end up going out, is he gonna act the same way? i just don't know what to think or do.

help?

Some poeple are like that in relationships. But it doesn't mean they're like that with everyone of them. Maybe he jut doesn't like her anymore? Everyone's relationship is different then the other, so don't compare them to your friends relationship. If you two were to go out and he acted the same way, let him know that you'd want more affection.

Q: im like about to cry as i write this. okay i was tlaking to this guy.. hes 2 and a half years older than me and we were getting prettyy closee..and then he asked me for pictures and of course, cause im stupid i sent them..don't even say i shouldnt have because i know i shouldnt. well today he called me and we were talking then he said he was talking to another girl then he was like whne are you gonna come over and ahve sex im like never your talking ot someone remember then he was like dont pull that shit. then he was like if you ever come over will you do stuff with me im like uuhm no your talking to someone and he got mad that i kept bringing it up. i find him pretty damn dumb to do that bc he told me who he was talking to and i could tell her what he is saying to me, but i dont wanna fuck anything up. was i write to bring that u again that hes talking to someonen while hes asking me this stuff?

You weren't in the wrong, he was. He made it extremely obvious that he just wnts sex, don't even bother with him anymore.

Q: ok. i jsut love the feeling when im reading about sexual stuff or someting like that. like my vagina starts beating and i jsut love it. and like its jsut great. but i mean i also want to do like dry sex or dry humping which i do with a pillow or something. and its alright i guess but i mean i know it will be jsut great with another guy. but when i tried it on my boyfriend like when we were in my room making out we were on my bed and like his leg was between mine and i started dry humping and he just laughed and let me do it like as in it was cute or something. but he never rubs against me or anything. and im always pushing myself onto him and stuff and he likes it but he wont do it to me. and he always says he will but never does. well actually im not sure if i should consider what im doing dry humping. i mean its not that intimate or strong. im scared that he'll make me stop. but i love the feeling. so i want to do it. and my pillow is getting annoying. and im scared if i do go full force that i will cum like crazy and he'll get wierd. well how do i get him to dry hump. and what can i do to make it more pleasurable for me =]

Well then.. ok. Don't force yourself onto your boyfriend it's just completely unattractive to do so, well sometimes. And it sounds like he doesn't feel comfortable with doing it to you. Even though you love it so much, you can't and shouldn't get your boyfriend to do something he's uncomfortable with. Trying to get him to do it to you because YOU like it is, no offense, a bit selfish. There's some things I love but I'm not going to make my boyfriend do it if he feels uncomfortable or doesn't do it willingly because he wants to.

Q: I am 15. My boyfriend, 'Danny' is 17. We have been going out for 6 months. I really like him, and he is really sweet. But lately, he has been acting strange. He rarely talks to me outside of class or hugs me. He doesn't call anymore, talk to any of my friends, and has just been aloof. At first, I was worried, until my friend said she saw him hugging some girl (who dislikes me) and making out with her and hanging with her friends (who dislike me also since their ringleader does). I'm pretty sure he wants to break up with me, but I don't know why, since I don't know if what my friend said is true. should I confront him about it, and how? Or should I just let it go and move on?

It's always better to confront them. Always. Ask him what's been going on with him lately, if he acts clueless, something's probably wrong. You've been together for a pretty long time, so it's best to confront him.

Q: 15/f.
is it fair to tell the guy i like that i like him even though he has a girlfriend? because i feel like he has the right to know since we are also good friends. but then i don't want to be mean to him and ruin his relationship.
thanks!

If he likes you, then wait and see what he does,if you think something you tell him is going to lead him to the decision then don't tell him. If he does like you, he'll figure out what to do about it on his own.

Q: im a girl age 14 turning 15 and well all the guys say i play hard to get and everytime i hang out with guys theres always at least one guy thats like lets do stuff or something and i wont do it and untill maybee laterr and i was wondering do guys like when girls play hard to get? please tell me.

--angie

Some do others don't. Some love it, it's like teasing them. But if you play hard to get for too long, they could get frustrated and begin to lose interest.

Q: I am kind of in a predicament here. Or at least I feel really confused. (It is quite long, I’m sorry)

My boyfriend and I have been dating for quite a while, nearly a year. I love him a lot and I feel that things were going smoothly. However, a few weeks ago his ex came back to NY. (She had moved to VA before) And I felt that it was nothing really. The background is that he had dated her for a long time as well, about two years or so and from his friends, they told me that he really liked her (when they were dating) and the reason they broke up was because she had to move to VA and because she thought she’ll be leaving permanently, they decided to stop their relationship so it won’t drag on.

So I guess that isn’t really the problem but I can’t help but feel queasy when I see them together. They are hanging out together a lot nowadays. They way they laugh at each others jokes and how she smiles at him, is just getting me nervous. But she is a really nice person at least to everyone around her. However sometimes when she talks to me I feel that her smile is kind of forced. I guess it is just an instinct or maybe I am just paranoid. But I mean that her smile is really bright and she seems really happy but her eyes don’t tell me that. They are still and solemn despite her smile. Maybe I am just imagining things but I can’t help but feel…insecure I guess? I know it sounds really childish to be jealous when there probably isn’t anything wrong.

I feel kind of bad to be thinking this way and feeling that there is something going on…but I just can’t help the feeling. I talked to my closest friend and she tells me she understands. (She tells me she doesn’t like his ex either) So I have no idea now. I just don’t know if…my feelings are right or should I just stop thinking senselessly and acting childish? Should I just let things go and pretend to be alright? I don’t want to talk to my boyfriend because I love him and I don’t want to be not trusting him (I feel so guilty inside for thinking and feeling this way, it seems as if I don’t trust him but I really do- I just can’t help…) And it is not that he is neglecting me. He has been really sweet throughout our time together, and despite his ex’s arrival, he is still really nice to me. What should I do? Is it wrong to feel such a way? Am I considered selfish to feel queasy when I see them? Is it considered a lack of trust? I just…don’t know.

It's understandable to feel that way, especially with what you've heard about their relationship. And her coming back will make you feel a bit uncomfortable. Plus the fact that they're also hanging out alot is going to worry you. You shouldn't be expected to be perfectly fine with all of it. Talking to him about it isn't going to do any harm, it'll help him understand how you feel about it. Don't tell him not to talk to her or demand anything. Just let him know that it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable seeing the two of them around eachother so much. It's not wrong to feel that way at all. You're not being selfish, you have no reason to feel that you are, you can't control how you feel. And just because it makes you uncomfortable or worried doesn't mean there's a lack of trust there's just always that worry, there always will be, it's like an instinct with relationships. It's going to happen. Do not feel bad about it, don't stress yourself out even more with things that you don't even need to think about.

Q: My bf of 5 1/2 months broke up with me on Thurs. It's my fault though. We loved each other and been through so much but I have been giving him so much shit and I was so demanding. I wanted everything my way and I always wanted to me right. I always talked shit about his family and his friends when I got mad. I knew he was getting sick of it. He was sick of the shit I was doing. He's given me multiple chances to stop and I took what he said for granted. I thought he'd take me back no matter what. But the last time he dumped me he said the next time I do it, it's really gonna be over and I said I wouldn't. But what happened was that he was out with his friends playing baseball and I texted him twice and he didn't respond and I thought he was ignoring me and was mad at me so then I sent him a text that said well you know what fuck you and your friends. I hope you all burn in hell. You're all gay and you're just like them. He sent me a text back that said well you know what you can kiss me ass because we're done. I thought he was just saying that and then we'd talk later and work it out. But he really ment it. =/ I talked to him on the phone later and I was asking him if he really ment it and at first he said I don't know and I asked him later again and he said Jacky this is what I want. I can't deal with your shit anymore. I can't deal with it. I know I screwed up and I went to far. It's all my fault. He was talking to my best friend that night and he told her that he still likes me a lot and that he's still in love with me but he can't deal with the stuff I do. He wants me to change. He said the only way he would take me back was as if I would change and not just over time but gradually over time. I cried my eyes out the day he dumped me. I only got an hour of sleep or something and then I woke up and went to take shower and I cried even more. Then I went to school and school was a total blur. It was so different without him in my life. But then I saw him at lunch and we were ignoring each other at first and then we started talking..Well more like flirting, a lot. He'd tap his leg against my knee and stare in specific private places that so called "used to be his" and I'd say, what?! And he'd smile and say, "Nothing!" lol. We'd just be smiling and laughing at each other a lot. It felt the same like we were going out. And he just kept staring at me intentionally while I knew it. I really didn't get it, whether he was playing with me or if he wants me back still or something. But what really pissed me off was that at our table he was acting like he's hot shit and he's all happy and everything. I didn't get it..I asked him how he was and he said great. We've been through so much and everything and we know each other so well and we had sex with each other. He told me he'd be with me forever. Then he'd stare at this girls body parts in front of me and act like I'd care and I'd pretend I wouldn't be looking at him while he was doing that then he said Jacky there was this girl who had a nice ass! I was like nice..I didn't understand what he was doing. Then I saw him flirting with my ex best friend laughing and smiling at her and he didn't know I was around but I don't know why he was doing that shit. I was so sad it's incredible. He loves me and still likes me, why would he be doing this?! :( And what was even weirder was that after 7th hour I walked with my best friend Laura because she always meets her bf who's friends with mine and I walked with them and then my ex and were talking and he kept smiling at me and he waited for me at my locker..It was so weird. But my life feels so messed up right now. I really want him back so bad. What do you think I should do? How do I get him back?

He said he wants you to change and if you love him then you should be able to. He should be enough of a reason to stop. You know what happens when you do it so now you can prevent it from happening again. Show him that you can change, don't talk shit abou his family, friends, or him. Pretty much, don't ssay anything you wouldn't want hi to say to you. Respect him.

Q: 15/f

im still in love with my ex bf. im the one who broke up with him but its only because i was having major issues w/ myself that i wish not to state here. we started hanging out again about 3 months after we broke it off & things were going good until my "problems" came back & i was so confused 7 i said a lot of things i didnt mean. & we stopped talking. then a month later he asks me to his prom & i accept. so then im thinking he wants to get back together so i kind of ask him about it. then he goes into things like i kept jerking him around & hes not really ready for a relationship again yet he kissed me. i told him i cant go to prom cuz that would be too awkward. but i screwed things up with the things i said to him but i cant get him out of my mind. what should i doo????

-Coree

Tell him how you feel, even if you are worried by hat he might think. And did you tell him what your "problems" were? If not then I suggest you do, it'll help. Don't go to prom if it's going to put you in an awkward position.

bio

My name is Cathy, as you can tell by my user name. I live in Florida and have been for the past 6 to 7 years. I'm in a very serious relationship with the boy of my dreams. I love him very much so, and nothing will ever change this, whether together or apart. I have a chihuahua by the name of Mung Mung. I'm half Korean and Half Scott-Irish. And that's about it for now =]