15/f.
is it fair to tell the guy i like that i like him even though he has a girlfriend? because i feel like he has the right to know since we are also good friends. but then i don't want to be mean to him and ruin his relationship.
thanks!
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? summer_is_love258963 answered Sunday April 29 2007, 11:41 am: Yeah, its deff fair to tell him but first think about when and how you want to let him know how you feel. Usually, itâ??s much better to show a guy friend how you feel, by flirting and being sweet to him, than to tell him in words. Since youâ??re already friends, you have some idea of what activities and events he is interested in. Sports (playing or watching), movies, video games, cooking, chess, photography, shopping - whatever floats your boat. Find ways to do things that you both like doing, together! When you and your crush/friend have five minutes alone, tell him you had a dream that you two were boyfriend and girlfriend. Say that the dream was really happy and felt so natural... and see what he says. If his reaction is negative (he says "as if" or "that's sick!"), then you know to back off. Save your pride - just laugh and say something like "I know, it was the stupidest dream!" But if he blushes, wants to hear more about the dream, laughs nervously or seems flattered by what you said, it's a sign he is open to the idea of dating you. In that case, say to him "maybe we should go on a date and see if I'm psychic or something." Hopefully, he'll say "great idea." One of the biggest fears for many girls in asking out a friend is "ruining the relationship." Get over it. If he says no, do you really believe he won't be your friend anymore? If heâ??s your real friend, it might be weird if he says no, but heâ??ll most likely be flattered and get over the awkwardness. Besides if you never ask, you might never know if he felt the same but was too shy to say it! You should ask yourself honestly if you two would probably be better staying friends, or if your feelings are growing stronger with love and canâ??t be ignored. If youâ??re crushing hard enough, itâ??s worth the risk. Being casual about asking him out can help to avoid strange feelings later. If he backs off and acts awkward after you ask him out, give him time to get over it. Distract yourself with other friends, and pick up your friendship again when he seems ready. Don't feel bad or think you were stupid to ask him if he ends up saying no. You've been really gutsy to try it, which is quite cool. Plus you have let him know how you feel about him, honestly and openly, and that is never a bad thing. Now that he knows you like him, heâ??ll be thinking about you differently. Sometimes it takes some time for that to sink in... he could end up turning around and asking you out when he feels more ready! Never, ever ask someone out more than twice if they say no. That will just makes your friend feel uncomfortable, and heâ??ll feel like youâ??re not listening to him. This can make it hard to go back to normal in the friendship. Donâ??t tell everyone youâ??re going to ask him out. For one thing, if he says no, you have all those people to tell and that would be totally embarrassing. For another thing, you donâ??t want him to find out that everyone knew how you felt about him before he knew, because that cheapens the emotion. Tell your best friend, but until you know his answer, keep this situation pretty private.
good luck hope i helped <33
Ashumms answered Saturday April 28 2007, 5:32 pm: Yes it is fair. If this guy that you like and his girlfriend are meant to be together, your confession won't harm their relationship. They'll just accept it and move on. You have nothing to lose by telling him. [ Ashumms's advice column | Ask Ashumms A Question ]
LagunaBabe answered Saturday April 28 2007, 3:31 pm: I'm in the same situation right now as you are, so I know how you're feeling. I think you should wait it out a bit, and see how things are going with their relationship. If it comes to an end, definitely tell him at that time. If it comes between the two of you too much, before they break up -- go ahead and tell him, because if you don't at that time, you may lose your friendship altogether. [ LagunaBabe's advice column | Ask LagunaBabe A Question ]
xcheerbabex108 answered Saturday April 28 2007, 3:27 pm: I agree with Tina. I wouldn't tell him [at least not just yet]. Wait and see if the relationship ends.
christina answered Saturday April 28 2007, 3:22 pm: Don't tell him until that relationship is done. Put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes. How would you feel if another girl told your boyfriend she liked him? You'd be pissed, right? Exactly. So back off of him until they're done to avoid any unwanted, unncessary drama. [ christina's advice column | Ask christina A Question ]
dropkickCathyy answered Saturday April 28 2007, 3:18 pm: If he likes you, then wait and see what he does,if you think something you tell him is going to lead him to the decision then don't tell him. If he does like you, he'll figure out what to do about it on his own. [ dropkickCathyy's advice column | Ask dropkickCathyy A Question ]
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