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My bf broke up with me. =/
My bf of 5 1/2 months broke up with me on Thurs. It's my fault though. We loved each other and been through so much but I have been giving him so much shit and I was so demanding. I wanted everything my way and I always wanted to me right. I always talked shit about his family and his friends when I got mad. I knew he was getting sick of it. He was sick of the shit I was doing. He's given me multiple chances to stop and I took what he said for granted. I thought he'd take me back no matter what. But the last time he dumped me he said the next time I do it, it's really gonna be over and I said I wouldn't. But what happened was that he was out with his friends playing baseball and I texted him twice and he didn't respond and I thought he was ignoring me and was mad at me so then I sent him a text that said well you know what fuck you and your friends. I hope you all burn in hell. You're all gay and you're just like them. He sent me a text back that said well you know what you can kiss me ass because we're done. I thought he was just saying that and then we'd talk later and work it out. But he really ment it. =/ I talked to him on the phone later and I was asking him if he really ment it and at first he said I don't know and I asked him later again and he said Jacky this is what I want. I can't deal with your shit anymore. I can't deal with it. I know I screwed up and I went to far. It's all my fault. He was talking to my best friend that night and he told her that he still likes me a lot and that he's still in love with me but he can't deal with the stuff I do. He wants me to change. He said the only way he would take me back was as if I would change and not just over time but gradually over time. I cried my eyes out the day he dumped me. I only got an hour of sleep or something and then I woke up and went to take shower and I cried even more. Then I went to school and school was a total blur. It was so different without him in my life. But then I saw him at lunch and we were ignoring each other at first and then we started talking..Well more like flirting, a lot. He'd tap his leg against my knee and stare in specific private places that so called "used to be his" and I'd say, what?! And he'd smile and say, "Nothing!" lol. We'd just be smiling and laughing at each other a lot. It felt the same like we were going out. And he just kept staring at me intentionally while I knew it. I really didn't get it, whether he was playing with me or if he wants me back still or something. But what really pissed me off was that at our table he was acting like he's hot shit and he's all happy and everything. I didn't get it..I asked him how he was and he said great. We've been through so much and everything and we know each other so well and we had sex with each other. He told me he'd be with me forever. Then he'd stare at this girls body parts in front of me and act like I'd care and I'd pretend I wouldn't be looking at him while he was doing that then he said Jacky there was this girl who had a nice ass! I was like nice..I didn't understand what he was doing. Then I saw him flirting with my ex best friend laughing and smiling at her and he didn't know I was around but I don't know why he was doing that shit. I was so sad it's incredible. He loves me and still likes me, why would he be doing this?! :( And what was even weirder was that after 7th hour I walked with my best friend Laura because she always meets her bf who's friends with mine and I walked with them and then my ex and were talking and he kept smiling at me and he waited for me at my locker..It was so weird. But my life feels so messed up right now. I really want him back so bad. What do you think I should do? How do I get him back?
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Hi Jacky.
Hmm, this is a bit of a mess isn't it. I can honestly say though it's not all your own mess. So you made some mistakes - it happens. My ex was the same as you in some ways at first and then we ended up breaking up because I couldn't deal with it. She was so clingy to the point I was feeling like I'm being pushed into a corner and when that happens I get defensive so we broke up.
I always say no one should have to change who they are but some changes can be a good thing. You do seem to anger fast especially over speculative things like thinking that your bf was ignoring you because he wasn't answering (knowing he was going to be playing baseball so he may not have had a chance to reply or even had his cell phone off). I don't really know where or how you can try and start trying to control your anger but it is obviously something that you will need to try and control. However, that said - your bf is also not making things any easier on you with how he is acting.
I think the best thing to do is have a chat with him and ask him straight out where you both stand. If you feel he is flirting with you but then also flirting with others to make you feel jealous (generally the kind of childish things guys do) then you've a right to know where you stand especially if he said this time your breaking up was for good. It's not fair on you for him to say that and then keep you stringing along in the hopes he likes you still and might want you back. Tell him you will try to control your anger and change because at the end of the day that the best anyone can really do but you need to know where you stand with him. It's one way or the other but he can't have both. Otherwise all he is doing is making things more complicated for you especially when he might know you still have a lot of feelings for him.
Good luck and I'm sorry I can't really recommend much else on what you can do. I hope everything works out though and if you need any more help feel free to write. :] I can recommend a few ways to try free your mind and ease your anger but I'm not sure how well they would work for you. :/
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wow this is a whole great mess, i'm sorry that you had to go through this. Breaking up with a boyfriend is never easy, reguardless of the situation.
I know you still love him, and vise-versa, I understand that, but to be honest, hun, theres not much you can do to "get him back". you should take in what he says; that a gradual change on your part could really improve the relationship you have.
It's very fortunate that in this situation, he'll still flirt with you, act like you guys are still a couple, etc. that lets you know that he's deff. still interested.
As for the flirting with girls... guys are alwyas like that. You know, they like to make girls jealous, atleast from my experience thats what I gather. I wouldn't take it too personally though I know it hurts but hes probably just doing his guy thing. my advice though is do the same he's doing [flirt with other guys in front of him]. it works, trust me [;
Things will fall into place, because thats always what happens. Give it time, I know it hurts, believe me, all us girls have been in a similar sitiuation. I hope I've helped hun. <3
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He said he wants you to change and if you love him then you should be able to. He should be enough of a reason to stop. You know what happens when you do it so now you can prevent it from happening again. Show him that you can change, don't talk shit abou his family, friends, or him. Pretty much, don't ssay anything you wouldn't want hi to say to you. Respect him.
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