about

I'm danika :) i'm 17 and i've been an advice columnist for almost 2 years i'm not on here a lot anymore but feel free to leave me and inbox and i'll get back to you asap

advice

Okay so their's this guy, lets call him...skip. Okay so skip and my best friend since I was 5, lets call her...Marcy, dated for 11 months. He eventually broke up with her, but even when they were still going out me and skip were really close. When Skip and Marcy first broke up, i didn't think it was fair that Marcy used to talk bad about me to my other friends saying that I souldn't talk to him anymore. But, she didn't understand how close we were. Now its about 4ish months later and me and him are basically best friends. We hang out alot, and talk on the phone 24/7. He is basically the most amazing guy i have ever met, and i've never liked anyone this much. I always think it's cheesey when people say they love someone and their 14, but for once i get it. I love him. I'm not sure if he feels the same, but my other best friend thinks he does "without a doubt" likes me." + how do i go about talking about this with marcy if me and skip do end up dating? And how do i go about things with skip, i dont want to screw up what we have already, but i absolutely, without a doubt, love him. I really don't know what to do here. My other bestfriend says im letting Marcy get in the way of my happiness, and im starting to think she's right. Please help me, for once i'm the one needing advice, not giving it. & this is driving me crazy=/

i'm sorry it took so long for me to answer you! i haven't been on in forever! but hunny if you supposibly love him then go for it! marcy is not going to be happy i can tell you that straight out it seems she's jealous that u even talk to him so i would just say that if she doesn't care about your happiness then she is not a true friend. hopefully everything worked out if you told him! let me knO!

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Well since your studing to be a psychic i'll ask you something is anything good gonna happen to me ?

i'm not studying to be a psychic i'm studying to be a psycologist which is a person who has sessions with people who need someone to talk to about what's going on in their life and stuff haha sorry

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ok so i was dating this amazing person..but he broke up with me and we havent really talked..but when i see him around at local concerts (hes in a band) he'll say hi..but i get so choked up and i can barely keep myslef from crying so i dont sy much. and i just found out that hes already interested in somone else..idk if hes serious about her.and i really really really dont want to be without him..should i tell him how i feel..??? how?? in person..over the fone or myspace?..or shouild i stay quiet?? idk what to do help me please!!

TELL HIMMMM!!! this happened to me. my ex boyfriend basically broke up with me and then we stopped talking until i told him i was waiting for him because i felt it was worth it.. he told me that i was the most amazing person he ever met etc. and so basically we started talking as friends again.. and hey if something happens then it happens.. but don't EVER not tell them because you could be screwing yourself in the long run because maybe he does still have some feelings for you or something... but my number one choice would be to tell him in person.. but since you said you get all choked up then i would send him a message on myspace because then you can think about it before you say it etc. you know? GOOD LUCK! you better let me know how it goes

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Well I'm four months pregnant, and me and my babys daddy arent together, he doesn't believe this baby is his he tells me to screw myself and to find the real baby father. The thing is hes the only one who I've slept with unpertected in the last 6 months. So I know its his. But I got back with my ex boyfriend who I was with before four almost a year before we got into some stuff. We got back together before I found out I was pregnant. I told him I was pregnant he told me he'd step up and help me raise it as his own. Hes in Long Creek (Jail) until January 3rd and I'm due January 27. Well anyways my question is, do you think I should let him step up and raise this baby as his own. Please let me know what you think.

absolutly; if he's willing ..

he'd probably be a better dad than the actual father..

my actual dad never wanted me either.. but my mom's boyfriend at the time steped up and took me in as his own and i call him dad because he is basically a dad to me.. :]

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i met this guy awhile back. and we recently started dating ( june 8 2007 ) but i liked for a very long time. and i had to go away for the summer, two hours from him. we talk every night on the phone, and on the computer all the time. but sometimes it isnt good enough && i seem to cry all the time over it. i can`t stand being away from him. he means so much to me. sometimes i call him and when he answers i start to cry and hang up. i even acciendtly said i love you the other night hanging up. well i dont know if i meant it or not. i care so much about him and would do anything for him, he`s my baby. well my question is..... is this love && if not, how will i know if it hits me && what it love.


16/f

if you question if your in love your not. i know it's not the answer your looking for but you just REALLY care about him a lot and want to be with him all the time.. believe me baby when your in love you'll KNOW it. and have no doubts.

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i have an amazing boyfriend, he does everything you could emagine a wonderful boyfriend doing. we've been together 5 and a half months now. i used to be so happy with everything, but he's 3 years older than me. i'm only 15 and everything is so serious now. he also get VERY jealous, and i'm not allowed to talk to other guy, text any other guys or anything, i barely even get to hang out with my friends. i really love my boyfriend but i keep thinking do i really want to be so serious, i'm only 15 i need freedom.

i need some advice on what to do here?

plain and simple. you want to live your life.. you should be able to live your life your only 15 it's not like your oging to get married you know? you need to get out and be able to do things that normal 15 year olds do.. your too young to be so serious your only going to get hurt in the end.. he doesn't trust you .. and if you don't have trust then you have NOTHING. tell him you want a break.. to see if he's really what you want in a guy. or tell him to back off a little that he's too controlling and you want to live your life.

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heyy its mariah agian, about the whole kory thing & thanks for the advice.! yeah he still hasn`t imd me since he really hasn't been online and just stares at me and stufff. i think he thinks i don`t care anymore and i really do, um do you have any advice for like how to start up a converstion with him cause im really shy in front of him for some reason? i think its cause we used to fight SO much on the computer.. and when it comes to face to face its so hard...but i really like him, and i know whatcha mean by the whole physco vibe lol..but hes really not like that he jsut gets stressed easily. so like whats the way to start up a conversation and not be so shy and stuff? [ ps. i REALLY still wanna makeout with him & be with him of course tooo] so any advice on how too..kinda, like remind him that i still wanna makeoutt and kinda get him "horny" for it haha. ps. hes like always horny anyways but yeahh.. haha hellppp (= thanks

yeah haha i'm so bad at being mean to someone to there face because i'm afraid they'll walk away from me and i don't like to cause a scene. but i have no probably being mean online haha you have to let him know that you do care.. haha to make him horny all you have to do is talk about sex it's really funny boys get horny sooooo easily. but i would just start talking about making out and then start talking about other stuff and he will melt ;]

your going to be shy in person no matter how much you try not to.. but just be really calm and say hey what's up with a smile on your face and he'll know you still want to be with him

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i have been dating my boyfriend for about 2 years now and i am really in love with him. but the thing is that i got offered a modeling job in california. and i dont know what willhappen to us. he doesnt want me to go but i really want to. i dont want to give it up and i dont know if he is just tesing me or what i dont want to lose him or this oppertunity what should i do he is also going to college on the east coast next year and i will only be a junior



do what YOU need to do. if you two are meant to be together it will be. but you need to do whats right for YOU. and follow your dreams don't let your relationship with him interfere with your dreams. if you both really love eachother and want to be together you'll find a way to be together

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heyy danika..! well i need some help, see me and this guy Kory have had this "thing" i guess you can call it since like November/December. and he would you know always flirt with me and sing to me and stuff, then one night i was on the computer and he imd me and was like um.. i have a question. and i was like yeah? and he goes would you ever makeout with me? and i was like well i dont know..[even though i totally knew i would] and.. he was SO obsessed with it. then he got all shy around me .. and stufff, and then on the computer he would tell me how much he liked me and stuff. and always call me baby,honey,sweetie,sexy,beautiful & ectt. but then people told me he still liked his ex girlfriend.. kristin and i was like wtf? .. cause he was telling me how much he would love to go out with me and stuff. and then.. one day he imd me and was like i always think about you im thinking about you now..and i was like kor, you know what just knock it off cause i was so mad..and he got real mad and was like whatever, you ruined the chances with the girl i love so thanks a lot? i was like i did what? wtf.. cause, HE started this whole thing with me and him..then he made me cry at the dance cause he said i ruined his life..then one day he finally apologized and told me he wanted me to relax around him and get to know eachother and he really did like me..and how he could agian and stufff. but he still liked kristin? and i dont get it honestly. and he goes like bipolar on me sometimes..and the other day i accidently brung up my ex boyfriend to him .. and for the past 6 days he hasn't even spoken to me..and we were just making progress!! and once before i had my ex in an awya message and kor flipped out and was like oh so whos jason? trying to get me jealous..you wanna play that game i was like what game? cause at that time he was going out with Kristin. and ughh.. i just dont know whats going on in this kids mind..he ALWAYS stares at me but he cant say like anything to my face he makes everything so awkward and i really do like him.. and i want him back, do you think he still thinks about me.. and do you think he ever liked me..and like what is going on with him? ahh i need help PLEASEE! [= sorry if i posted this twice my computers gay it does this sometimes lol?

haha you did post it twice but it's all good girlfriend and this is what i think:

YES. he DOES like you because if he didn't he wouldn't get jealous if you hung out with other guys orrr talked about your ex boyfriend it's called self consious because he's afraid of loosing you to another boy. but if i were you. i don't want to tell you what to do or antyhing but i'm kinda feeling the psycho stalker vibe from him. like it sounds like if you two went out it wouldn't be a very healthy relationship because he kind of seems controll but do what you want =] hope i helped need anythign else just ask !

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ohhkay hiii
iv been going out with my boyfriend for uhmm about 3 weeks, and we already had sex. It was really good the second time, but then then next day i went to his house and we did it again and it hurt REALLY bad, like not when i pee afterwards i get a really bad pain. Then last night he was acting weird and all like, i dont see how you can love me, weve only been talking for 2 months and it started over a myspace messgae. im like well everytime im with you and talk to you i fall more, but now it seems like he doesnt want me to love him... or want to love me.. he normally tells me he loves me during the day in school and hes not now, he just kisses me and walks away. i dont know what to do. im really in love with him and dont wanna lose him. He just acts sometimes like he doesnt wanna be with him. today i wanted him to come to my locker with me and then walk to class with me becuase his class was right next to mine, but he didnt want to. i basically pushed him down the hallway and when he got to my locker he stayed there with me, but i had to force him to be with me ? i dont know what to do... ugh boys are dumb. help, pleaseee =)

yes haha they are dumb. if you felt it was right then that's good. if you two did it and now he's more distant it's probably because he fell hard for you but he most likely didn't want to fall hard because maybe he's afraid of getting hurt now. he's pushing you away. i would talk to him about it.. if you love him and don't want to leave him i would start to back off. maybe show him that your not crazy about him because when you back off boys seems to fall harder and try to talk to you more. i just got done reading this awesome book called why men love bitches and it told me that. they hate it. so i would just back down and if that doesn't work talk to him about it =]

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ohhkayyy. me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 5 months and i really love him and he loves me too. and he wants to have sex and hes not forcing me to he just wants to make sure im ready before we do. and i mean i want to but im not sure. any input?

if your not sure don't do it. it's something your never going to get back.. and you need to be COMPLETELY sure that you want to. waiting a little longer to make sure you ABSOLUTLY want to do it won't hurt either =]

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what's the difference between "Loving" and "likeing" someone????

this is really hard to explain but i'll give it a shot

when you like someone you have a crush on them, you could like them as a friend.

like:to regard with favor; have a kindly or friendly feeling for (a person, group, etc.); find attractive

love is totally unexplainable. it's like no other. you have an extreme bond with someone and would do just about anything for them. there are different types of love: friendship, relationships, love for movies/things/objects, etc.

love:to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).

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Hey Danika,
I'm a 17 year old guy. I have been dating this girl for a long fun while now, and we have an awesome relationship. We talk and joke around like best friends and get jiggy with it as lovers do. The only thing is that a road block just recently popped up. Throughout the relationship she had been telling me that she was a virgin and never saw a penis before and all that stuff. Then we were wasted one night and she decided to give me this big confession that infact she wasn't a virgin. She had touched, licked, and sure enough had sex with an ex that before this point she always spoke lowly of him. A lot of the time she would even bring him up in common conversation. So, now she tells me this and first I feel betrayed because I have been lied to for so long. Second, I feel confused because you think she wouldn't talk so bad about this guy if he took her virginity. Third and lastly, I feel scared because thinking that she was a virgin, we fooled around a little without a condom. That brings up worries of STD's and so forth. What should I think or say or do? Am I mad at her? When she says she regets it do I believe her? Does she still of feelings for this guy (who, if I might say myself is 100% full of nasty)? Should I trust that she isn't keeping anymore lies from me? Help a brotha out.


P.S.- I'm really white.

well. i talk madddd smack on myex boyfriend. because i love him, and i like to try and deny it and talk tough like he means nothing to me when in reality i hate him so much because he tore my heart apart but i still love him.you always have this bond with, that you don't have with any one else..

it's all up to you on if you believe her or not. if you trust her then believe her. and if you seem to not trust her anymore.. then you should probably break up no matter how much you love her. because if you don't have trust.. you have NOTHING... i know you WANT to believe her. but take the facts and don't be naive. just look at all the possibilites. i cna't tell you if you should believe her or not because i don't know her personally.. at least i don't think? haha so you just have to figure it out on your own =]

and as for the STD situation. go get tested. it's the easiest way to find out.

need anything else just ask =]

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14/f About a month ago a boy who I liked asked me out and I said yes, but it's like as soon as I said yes I realizied that's not what I wanted! I want to break up with him but I don't want to just tell him I don't like him anymore. He knows my parents are okay with it. What do I do?

just tell him that the sparks aren't there anymore.. but you would like to still be friends if possible.

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18/f

Like seriously how the hell do they think!!! I dont understand them. They like you one day they hate u the next! like all i want is a nice guy who i can cuddle up to and tell everything and yes do other stuff ;).. but i jsut feel so lonely! My sister told me that guys just arent like girls. they arent so sensitive .. and i mean i dont think i could ever be with a girl because guys are just amazing to me.. but i just dont understand

this is so true. haha two days ago my ex boyfriend was like i still have feelings for you and the next he's all like 'you should really go kill yourself' haha i've been nothing but nice to him...


but guys are like girls. they want to be love and held just as much as girls do.. only girls show it.. and guys are sensitive too.. but they think they need to look up to the 'guy perspective' and how there all big bad and tough..

haha yeah sometimes i'm like wtf. i should be a lesbian. girls know what you want. and there would be no problems right ;]


one day you'll find the right guy who will pursue your needs =] just don't look for him. let love find you.

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i like two boys. and so, i was wondering, is it okay to say the same things to both of them? they dont hang out together, they go to different schools. so is it a bad idea to say "i miss you" to both of them, and blah blah? or should i say different things to both?!
xo

IF YOU MEAN IT.. SAY IT. it doesn't matter if you say it to both of them.. all that matters is if you mean what you say... but i think your going to hurt one of them.. and that's not going to be very fun.. your going to feel like a bitch.. so you i think need to pick and choose right now which one you want to be with because they get caught up in you even more because it will only hurt worsee.

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so there's a guy i like, he's hard to read, i don't show my emotions... he might have a girlfriend... there's another guy that is waiting on my reply to go out with him... the guy i really like doesn't get along with almost any of my friends... and with all of these complications i don't know what to do. do i make a move on the guy i really like? do i go out with the guy i don't really like, but really likes me? do i just hook-up with the guy i like? what do i do?!?!?

what do you feel is right? if you go for the guy who you like and he doesn't like you then there will be a problem. and plus he doesn't even like your friends? that's goign to mean more problems.. but don't go out with a guy you don't even like? lol that woudln't be too nice. and you could really break his heart...

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About 2 years ago I was "diagnosed" with perfectionism. (Yes, it's a real disorder.) I got counseling for it, and it hasn't really interfered much with my life since then until now. I've recently found myself faced with more serious dating relationships, but because of my disorder, it makes it really difficult for me to want to get close to a guy. I've met a guy that I adore, and we both like each other. But it's hard because I'm afraid of being "imperfect" around him, which is ironic because that's pretty much inevitable. No one is perfect. But you'd have to have perfectionism to really understand what I mean. Anyways, it's gotten to the point where I don't want to eat around him. I might get something stuck in my teeth, spill on myself, get gas (haha), have an allergic reaction, anything. I don't want to do things that I know I'm not good at because I don't want to fail. (Example: I'm really good at acting, but I got cast in a show as an extra! I usually land large roles, and I was so disappointed in myself. When he said he was going to come watch me, I begged him forever not to come, then cried backstage for an hour before the performance because I didn't want him to see me.) I don't want to go places that I'm unfamiliar with because I might look dumb or mess up.

This is so hard to describe online, and for people to understand, but if anyone has had this similar problem, is a perfectionist, or has any helpful advice on how I can get over this and not let it affect my dating life, I would really appreciate it. I'm desperate!

i always need to be perfect. ALWAYS. i feel the need to be better than everybody else. i understand how you feel. i dread doing things i've never done before because i'm afraid i'll mess up and he'll hate me or something? it's weird. example: i never did anything wtih a guy. but then i realised that it's okay with him because i was comfortable around him.. so listen this is my advice. if you dont' feel comfortable around him you should be with him.. and if you do feel comfortable then you shoudl be fine just take steps.. first maybe eat chips or somethign in front of him etc. just little steps everythign will be fine hunny =] promise

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OK, im doomed! I stayed back last year and they think I dont shower, im gross and all this stuff.Well I do have friends and I hang out with this kid named Steven, and I like steven. Now kids know I like steven but I dont want steven to know.. Its not as easy and I ask him out everyone would lauph and it and it madders to me. And it sucks because we have to do tis inventors thing and he's my partner and he does nothing! and its hard to try and concintrate next to the kid u like I really need a good grade so how do i concintrate on my work and not flirting with him??

flirt while working =] or flirt then work. take it home and work on it at home if your allowed to.. or if not. just flirt while you can work. just doubt task =] good luck

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what are some tips for making out and kissing?

i need to know everything!

here's a really awesome website =]

http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:e1oGbdndml0J:www.howtokiss.info/kissing_games.htm+kissing+games&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=3&gl=us

it'll teach you the basics/games/everything =] good luck hun!

i hated when people told me that 'it comes naturally' but it really does.. just let him be the leader. and follow his moves pretty muchhh. tongue wrestle haha

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