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controlling boyfriend.
i have an amazing boyfriend, he does everything you could emagine a wonderful boyfriend doing. we've been together 5 and a half months now. i used to be so happy with everything, but he's 3 years older than me. i'm only 15 and everything is so serious now. he also get VERY jealous, and i'm not allowed to talk to other guy, text any other guys or anything, i barely even get to hang out with my friends. i really love my boyfriend but i keep thinking do i really want to be so serious, i'm only 15 i need freedom.
i need some advice on what to do here?
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Since hes probably an amazing boyfriend, he's trying everything for you guys not to break up or to be a good relationship. He really really likes you. He's protective around you, also because he's the older one. Its a bad trait for him to be extremely jealous, but really you need some freedom I agree. You need to have a serious talk so you guys can sort this sticky situation out. You dont even need to be in a serious relationship. He's 18 no wonder why he's serious, hes like an adult now. What I would do is to just sort it out by saying "Can you let me have my time, and space and do what I would like to do, and when I have time for you I will spend it with you" something like that. He must understand this, if not, then its time to find someone your own age who is better for you. Age doesnt really matter. It's just whats right for the both of you is what does matter!
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tell him the things you said in tis post... though don't use "serious" at all. make him understand why you like him, work his ego a bit.
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Hey, I know how much you love your boyfriend. But you've gotta think who's more important to you? Your friends or just one guy? I mean you can probably find a better guy who allows you to talk to whoever you want.
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i'm going thru the exact same situation. i deal with it though, because i am kind of the same way.
what you need to do is talk to him. explain to him that he's the one you want and if you do talk to guys you're not going to leave him. tell him it's talking OH WELL. i'm not guaranteeing he'll understand, but it's worth a shot. i really love my boyfriend too, and i know it's hard to deal with it, but if you can't take it anymore and stuff i guess just end it. i feel bad telling you that, but i'm sorry.
i understand you need freedom, we all do. what i'm trying to say is just tell him not to get jealous about everything, somethings are alright but everything is out of line. if nothing works then you become the same as him. make him realize how it's like, and possibly things will change. good luck. you can leave something in my inbox, i'll help you as much as i can. (:
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I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but dump him and RUN.
He is a control freak. Control freaks never let go and only become more controlling as time moves forward.
He is an insecure boy inside and needs to control girls to hang onto them in fear of loosing them, and to make himself seem and feel more secure.
Next step will be beatings. Brain washing making you feel you did something wrong, and even deserve the beatings.
That's how it progresses as he ages.
Run and run now. Or at very minimum now- tell him exactly what you said here and then, if he changes, good, if not-- run.
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plain and simple. you want to live your life.. you should be able to live your life your only 15 it's not like your oging to get married you know? you need to get out and be able to do things that normal 15 year olds do.. your too young to be so serious your only going to get hurt in the end.. he doesn't trust you .. and if you don't have trust then you have NOTHING. tell him you want a break.. to see if he's really what you want in a guy. or tell him to back off a little that he's too controlling and you want to live your life.
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he has no right to tell you who you can and cannot talk to.. it's a free country and we fought for this freedom so he can't control you..
he probably thinks he's doing the right thing and maybe he's just used to that way.. tell him that you need a little space and you want to dedicate some time to hanging out with your friends because you feel they aren't getting their fair share of time. and tell him that there are some guy friends you sometimes just want to talk with because their your friends and say that you would never like them anymore than a friend and he'll always be your number one. tell him it's not right to control your life and if he can't just back off a little bit and give you room, then he's not worth it.
seriously if you don't talk to him he won't change. don't be mean and just say what you told me in a very nice and calm way. he should understand or he doesn't care about your feelings...
well good luck.
-candace
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hey
it's natural be jealous in a situation like the one he's in, but this seems a little TOO controlling.
have you tried talking to him? simply sit him down and tell him exactly what you just told me. he probably may not even realize he's doing it. that might help.
but don't lie to him (aka text other boys & say you didn't). just tell him the truth. imagine this situation from his shoes - you have a girlfriend three years younger, and she's really hot, and guys are always wanting to talk to her and text her. i'd be kind of concious as well.
i think you just have to talk to him. don't do it in a public place like in a restaurant or something. do it at one of your houses so you can discuss this.
come back to this site if you need more help.
make sure you copy the link to your question so everyone's familiar.
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