Name is Megan, I'm 20 years old. I've gone through a lot in my life, and got through so much on my own. It sucked, and I wish I had someone to go to for advice. I like to help others who are in need of advice. I don't think anyone should ever feel alone. I hope to help some of you with the answer's I've giving. I try my hardest.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student.
Age: 20
Member Since: May 2, 2010
Answers: 102
Last Update: May 29, 2010
Visitors: 6015
Main Categories:
Friendship
Love Life
Parenting
View All
|
| |
So for quite awhile now i've been a little curious about girls. i'm 19/f and in a very committed relationships with my 27 year old boyfriend. I love him very much, but he is very open and has told me that whatever i want to do hes cool with.
The problem is, I don't know how to go about exploring my curiosity's. I don't have anyone to talk to about it, and i just don't know what to do. Its like, all the pent up emotion and frustration is deep inside of me, and i don't know what to do to figure out if i'm really bi or not. I would like to find someone to experiment with, but i dont know how. I cant go to a gay bar, im not old enough, so what should i do? (link)
| |
You are old enough to get into the bar before I think 8 or 9pm, well that also depends where you live. As long as you don't drink in the bar as well. Do you know anyone who is? a friend or something? That's hard to find someone. I'm sure you are getting frustrated too. I hate to say, but have you tried looking online? That might help too.
|
|
ok so this is the problem a month ago tommorow i started dating this guy. he treats me like a saint. he says he loves me and his brother and father tell me how good i am for him.in fact that after his life went downhill, im the only thing to make him happy, but im unhappy. im not physically attracted to him. and i kno thats shallow, but he likes to be very physical. today this guy i really like asked me out, i said yes w/o thinking. i really dont want ot hurt the guy im with now. and i refuse to cheat. im so confused and hurting inside like u would not believe. he did nothing to deserve this, its just i felt like i was smothering. maybe im wrong. i kno i am, that i should be able to make myself love him the way he does me, but i cant... i just cant. god please help me, and tell me what to do. im soo confused (link)
|
No, you can't make yourself love someone you don't. And thats not your fault. I know you don't want to hurt him, but you do need to realize you are hurting yourself to make him happy.
Like I said, you can't make yourself love someone. Best advice would to talk to him, explain how you really feel. Yes it's going to hurt him, but it's going to hurt much more if he found out you were with this other guy, or that so many months later he finds out how you really feel, and never told him. Just be honest.
It's hard and confusing, but you'll be fine, and so will he. The great thing with life is.. It always goes on. :)
Everything heals in time.
|
|
I'm sure you're sick of hearing about these type of problems, but...there's someone at school who I'm really interested in. He has a girlfriend, and I'm fine with that, but I'd like to be closer with him friend-wise. He comes up to me sometimes and occasionally sits with me for long periods of time. The only problem is, I'm extremely shy and have a lot of trouble conversing with him. I usually end up staring into space, wishing I knew what to say, while he talks a little bit. Of course i don't stay completely silent the entire time, but i feel like my lack of interesting things to say is keeping us from becoming real friends. What should I do? (link)
|
You need to speak up.
I mean, I'm sure you two will be great friends. He obviously likes talking to you. Just try to speak up a little more when hes around. Once you two are fully comfortable, ask to hang out. But always remember he has a girlfriend, you don't want to cross that line. Good luck!
|
|
im in total love with this boy i mean i admire him and everyhing but i just dont think he is right for me i mean im the kind of girl that likes to go camping and hiking and to the snow and travel but all he does is watch football all day i mean my parents say that he is not good enough for me buti think he is i mean he is great a sports really smart and is great with kids but im really adventuras and i dont think i can make him do anything and im worried all he will want to do is sit around al day so how can i get him to do stuff and is he right for me? (link)
|
Ask him to go places with you. Hiking, camping, just out doors stuff. It wont kill to ask. :)
I don't know if he is right for you, since I don't know you or him, but you seem to like him. Just ask him and see if he'll go and hang out outside and do outside stuff with you. You be the judgment on that. :)
|
in 5th grade i moved up north. and i met this boy named mark, who happened to be my neighbor. the first time i saw him, i had a crush on him. i mean im a girl who never even thought about boys, until i saw him. i found out later he liked me and we went out in 6th grade-- for 9 months, then i broke up with him because he never talked to me like he used to. and he understood where i was coming from, and yet we still liked each other-- a lot. in 7th grade, we went out, and then his friend came riding around the block saying that he didn't want to go out with me. the same year, i decided to give him another chance, but he dumped me again. then there i was sitting there with a broken heart. and i promised myself as well as my best friend that i would never ever go out with him again. well soon enough, in 8th grade, i gave him another chance, i thought he would change-- but he didn't. we went out for about 3-4 months. i was at my neighbor's house, and i found out he liked lisa behind my back. i found this conversation at his house, and it was all this perverted crap with her. i was furious. so of course we broke up-- again. this time was different, we didn't talk for about 3 months. then slowly we started becoming friends again, and 5 more months after that we got closer and i kissed him. and we also cuddled a lot. all my feelings started rushing back. i mean he was the first guy i ever liked, and cared about. a few days later he asked me out-- and i had the guts to say no. it hurt me so bad, because i liked him soo much, but i couldn't stand getting another heart break. that night i found out he started telling people he liked my best friend. my bestfriend & i both knew that he was just trying to get revenge on me because i turned him down. and later we found out that it was all just an act. he was mad at me for awhile, and i didn't blame him for being mad because i would be too. and then we became close friends again, and just recently we have became friends with benefits. he likes this other girl(lets call her *A*). and me too. but A would never go out with him. but now i regret saying no to him, because he is telling people that he will never ask me out again because i rejected him. but i really do like him, im just scared to get hurt again. do you think i should just forget him-- cuz highschool is next year(remember i have to see him everyday of summer because he is my neighbor and friends with my brother). should i give him one last chance? i really need your opinion on this. i have been confused for years, and i just can't seem to let him go. do you have any tips? anything would help at this point.
-confused (link)
|
You've gave him so many chances, and yet he keeps breaking your heart. I honestly don't think he's going to change. Saying no was a good thing, it brought out the real person, him trying to get revenge on you is just pure immature.
You are starting highschool next year, it'll open new doors for you. Maybe you'll find another guy who will make you happy and wont keep breaking your heart. Just remember you deserve to be happy!
|
|
how do i get a girl friend (link)
|
Be yourself..
Ask a girl to hang out.. See if she likes you, ask her on a date. :)
good luck!
|
|
okay so...i was with this guy for like almost 6 months. i broke up with him cuz he was always lying to me and hurting me. i gave him 3 chances and after that i was done. that wasnt the only reason i broke up with him... i also starting talking to and getting along with other guys. it was hard. ever since then for the past month he has called me everyday like 5 times a day telling me he misses me and wants me to take him back and that he loves me and needs me and wants me. and i have tried to explain to him that like i basically need to move on. like when him and i were together he seemed so perfect... and now that he and i are juss friends... well he is kinda annoying and weird. =/ but then hes like its okay i will wait for you. and im like okay... do you not get it?! like sometimes i find myself thinking about him... but in a ifferent way and its so hard to get over him when he calls like everyday!!! i seriously juss want to move on... but idk how to!!!! i juss like want to make it clear to him that i have been talkiing to other guys and there isnt that much hope for him and i.... but i dont wanna like break his heart... any advice?? (link)
|
Well one thing, you should change your number if you are able too. That would show him you are serious.
And you might have to just come out and tell him. If he keeps saying that he'll wait for you, and you not say anything, thats still leading him on and making him think there is actually hope. It may hurt him, but he'll get the point. YOU need to be happy too, and stress free, and I can see all this isn't. Like I said it may hurt him, but he'll get over it! Good luck!
|
|
This guy I know is really cute and i know he thinks I am too, but he won't initiatate conversation at all, except maybe hi or to ask what was the homework was. I have tried to talk to him but everytime I get near him I act like a total wuss. AND he is always near his friends and they don't like me. I've tried notes and phone calls (which he answers), but everytime we get to the subject of going out, he always hangs up.!!!! I just don't understand him. What should I do?????????!--------michelle (link)
|
Either hes nervous, or probably don't like you. :/
Ask one of your friends to ask him, or simply just try your hardest to pull him aside without any of his friends and talk to him in person. He can't hang up on you then, and you'll be able to see his reactions.
|
|
Im female 15 and from scotland. I resently discovered that i had my feelings confused between my boyfriends and his best mate. I love my boyfriend he's sweet kind and generous but i with the realisation that my lust was completely directed at his best mate (who is currently going out with my bestfriend). I desided that i should end it with him, but how? i dont want him to hate me forever there might evan be hope to be friends, how can i end things without hurting him to much? And with out the cheesey line "can we still be friends?" (link)
|
Well, you should explain you don't have the strong feelings you once had for him. That you would love to still be friends, but do understand if he don't want too. That you aren't trying to hurt him, but you don't want to be hurt either. That you do care.
There isn't any best way to tell someone that you want to break up, so if you care about him, just try to do it nicely, and don't get upset if he gets upset. Good luck!
|
|
This is a very strange question, I'm sure. I'm 14 years old, and most people I meet for the first time outside of my family and friends think that I'm at least 17 years old, because of my appearance and general demeanor. I met a guy who I thought was 17, and he thought that I was that age as well... but he turned out to be 19 years old. Anyway, nothing really happened but I still think of him after a year, and I haven't spoken to him in at least half a year. I'm upset because this happens a lot; people think I'm much older than I actually am. I get emotionally attached to some of these people, and vice versa, but consequently nothing ever works between us. I'm not sure what I should do in these circumstances, because I've been through lots of emotional trauma because of it. (link)
|
I would say to stick to being around people more your age then.
I suppose being 14, and acting like a 17 year old is good, but also remember you still are young. Don't grow up too fast because other people think you are older than what you actually are.
It does suck when you get emotionally attached to someone and they leave. Try not to get so emotionally attached to someone right away, wait it out.
|
|
So here's the deal. I have never had a g/f. But I have a very nice personality and I am very very funny. Whats wrong. HELP (link)
|
Do you talk to any girls?
If not, then do it!!
Girls aren't always going to just come up to you, you need to make an effort too!
You sound like a good guy.
You said you are very very funny, thats good too, just make sure you don't take being funny way too far. Because that sometimes can be a huge turn off.
|
|
So theres this guy i like. Its more like a crush. Usually, when i have a crush, i dont do anything about it but i've been single for a looooong time and idk but i feel like i kinda wanna do something . But this guy, is interested in my friend . My friend doesnt like him and thinks i should make a move on the guy. I have TERRIBLE fear of rejection, and im 14/f but i've never done anything like this before. The only guy i ever dated approached me first. I also have low self esteem issues and I'm not someone that people find attractive. So what should i do? I was thining its best i just let him go and go back to admiring from a far since his got his sights set on my friend, tho she doesnt want him . (link)
|
Well, you will never know if you do go for it.
I understand the fear of rejection, but thats part of life. There are things you will be rejected from. Nothing to do but brush it off and move on. I'd approach him, who knows he might really like you too. Ask him to hang out, just as friends. Hang out a few times, see how things are between you too. If things are going good, and he seems interested, then take the next step. Going on a date, being boyfriend/girlfriend. Trust me, you'll regret never going for anything in your life when your older. Like I said rejection is part of life, it's gonna happen. This whole thing might turn out good. :)
|
|
my boyfriend was always way into me more then i was him, we broke up at a party because he wouldnt give me space like two months ago.. i know dumb. anyways we've been trying to work it out, and now i'm the one whose more in love with him, and now he only sees us as friends.. like he says all the feelings he use to have for me just arent as strong anymore. but we went to the beach on wednesday and he said we'll probabbly get back together.. and now friday night he was getting so annoyed at me for no reason. what made me want to be with him more and relize how much i loved him was not seeing him as much.. should i do that back? LOVEEEEEEEEE , SoOOOo confused & lost. (link)
|
Sometimes when you let go of something you aren't too sure about, and then finally realize they aren't yours, you start to have all these feelings and start to really know how you feel towards them.
As for him saying you might get back together, then getting annoyed with you, it sounds like he isn't too sure. I'm sure he just don't want to get hurt again, so he's trying to take it slow. Just take it slow with him, and if you guy's get back together then great. :) If not, :/ Don't worry you'll find someone.
|
|
I feel like this boy is kinda liking me and I heard that if you think you like someone, your usually right. We have one period together in school and we usually talk in that period but we don't talk a lot. I was working out in the hall with my group for a project, he was in the room, working with his group. His group consisted of, the smartest kid in the class, him and my best friend (whose a boy) so I went into the room and asked my best friend when this one battle ocurred and he looked up at me and didn't answer, maybe because he was thinking but they boy I like answered and I said "are you suuuure?" and he said "noope, just a total guess" and he did that cute, crooked smile. Then, my best friend found it in his notes and told me the date and the boy was right so of course, he rubbed it in my face. I also borrowed my friends notes and took them in the hall with me because they had two sets and he came out to get them, to tell me that my friend needed them. I thought that was weird, why did he come out and not my friend? Usually, every time we talk, he has me laughing. However, he is a funny kid, so it's not like he only makes me laugh. My friend said once in a while he glances at me in class when I'm not paying attention to him. He had a bonfire but I wasn't invited which made me sad and made me really believe he didn't like me, however my friend said this to my other friend "You don't see how he looks at her? How can you tell he likes her without seeing how he looks at her and how she laughs at everything he says and how she always smiles when she's around him." Every time we talk, we look right into each others eyes. What do you think? Is he diggin me? Now, if you think he likes me then how do I talk to him more? Thanks! (link)
|
Sounds like he could be, or he could just be friendly.
I'd say have a friend ask him what he thinks of you.. Find out that way, unless your brave and tell him you like him. :)
Just talk to him. He's not a stranger. :)
|
So last year I had my first serious boyfriend, I fell head over hills, lost my virginity, and after a year I realized he wasn't the guy for me and I had made a mistake. I was forced into a lot of things with him. Not physically as much as mentally. He'd guilt trip me, get angry and ignore me, fight with me, say I didn't love him if I didn't do things with him. One time at his friends house he locked me in the bathroom with him until I did stuff with him. I started crying so he let me out but refused to talk to me the rest of the night. So, I broke up with him a few months ago. I recently started dating this guy, he's been my best friend since eighth grade. I'm a junior he's a senior. I really like him and he respects me and treats me right. He doesn't force me into doing things I don't wanna do.
If I feel uncomfortable he won't make me do things.
So anyway. I have been dating him since March we have done somethings but not sex. Well recently I've been thinking about maybe in the distant future having sex with him. I thought about it for a while. I started crying, I feel so traumatized I feel like if I have sex he's going to end up like my ex. I feel afraid to do it again, I'm scared that things will end badly and that I'll end up regretting it because things were so terrible, I felt obligated and guilty in my last relationship. My boyfriend says I shouldn't feel like I have to do anything I don't want to. But, I don't know, why do I feel so traumatized from this? Is this normal? Like I feel so depressed about it, I feel traumatized and I don't want to effect what happened in my last relationship to effect what happens in my new one. I really like him and I don't know what I should do really, what should I do? Should I tell him? Is there anyway I can get rid of this feeling? (link)
|
Yes it is normal!
You were abused mentally and it seems like physically from that last guy. The feelings you are feeling right now are NORMAL.
Take your time. Have sex when YOU are physically and mentally ready. Your boyfriend now seems like a good guy, and doesn't seem like he's trying to push anything.
You can't really get rid of the feeling. It will ease in time though. Go on with your life, don't even think about sex, when the right time comes around, you'll know.
As of, telling your boyfriend now. I mean, You can, and it might help him understand more, or you don't have too. Is he asking you to have sex or wanting to? If not, then you don't have to tell him, but if you think it might help you feel better about all this you should.
Good luck!
|
|
i just cant get over this guy. im at a new school since last summer & he started talking to me. we where like best friends after talking just for 2 days & it was love at first sight for me. we always hung out after school etc & i thought he has feelings for me as well so i told him how i feel. well since then we dont talk anymore cause he 'doesnt know how to deal with the situation'. now we talk again but not a lot maybe every second day, but only cause he thinks that i dont like him anymore. but i dooo and its been almosta year and i cant get over him. i mean all i think about is him and i STILL cry myself to sleep. & its just horrible. i drink loads of alcohol now just to forget it cause it hurts so much. the whole thing is scaring me. my feelings for him are soo strong. & i tried to find someone else but i cant bausye everytime i see him it just comes back. help? I'm 17/f (link)
|
Well one..
Don't drink loads of alcohol over this guy. That right there can kill you, and you are underage.
Two. I know it's hard when you have strong feelings for someone yet, they don't have the same back for you. And it's understandable that you haven't found someone that you felt the same about him with. But eventually you will have to get over him, or just drink your life away. You are YOUNG, and you WILL find someone someday, you have a lifetime ahead of you, so just because this one guy isn't interested, doesn't mean that there isn't anyone else, and doesn't mean you wont ever have feelings for someone else, even though it might feel that way.
You need to keep your head up, and stop drinking, because that will not solve anything, it'll just make you wake up with a hangover, and still feeling the same as before you got wasted.
There are better ways to deal with this, like how you are now. Ask for advice, talk to someone about it, get your feelings out in the open, don't hid them inside.
I really hope the best for you, and hope you don't take this drinking thing too serious, I've seen what it can do. But please do remember you are young, your life isn't over because this one guy. :/
xo
|
|
I've been waiting for the summer to come for a while now and it's coming closer and closer. I've been also expecting to spend a lot of time with my girlfriend this summer. I was thinking that this summer would be great; she and i on the beach watching the sunset together. I already knew that for three weeks of the summer, she will be studying at college because where she is going, it is required. Then last night I find out that she will be spending another two weeks with her cousin up north. Her mom just bought her ticket. So that leaves time for she and I at about 2-3 weeks or not even that because we will be getting ready for college. There's barely any time for us this summer and while she's studying or having a blast with her cousin, I'm going to be all alone at home missing her. That just ruins everything I hoped for and on top of that, her mother would probably make it worse by not letting her go places with me or by not letting her spend much time with me by making excuses for her daughter that she has work that needs to be done. I can already picture her doing this. We are both eighteen now so I think her daughter can make her own decisions. [By the way, I'm also a girl]. I can see that my summer will be very depressing. Also we are both going to different colleges. Maybe this is a sign that it's the end of the road for us; we're not going anywhere together. Even now, we don't have much time for eachother. Because she's in school and after she's working while I'm at home all alone or trying to get a job ehich has been very hard for me. I've been rejected for employment over 50 times. There's barely any us time and this summer when I thought the majority we would be spending together, it will just be only me. I'm not happy with this arrangement and I feel in the future, history will just repeat itself. Maybe it's time for me to find someone to love that can share time with me. I don't really know what to do but feel upset about this. (link)
|
It's up to you honestly on what you want to do.
I understand that there is a lot going on, but if you two are together still, then there is obviously something still there.
She is 18, so her mom can't tell her what to really do, as in she can't spend time with you. If she wants to, she can.
Talk it over with her, see how she feels. You never know, she might be going away for college, but in the same time, you two might be able to make it work. Long distant relationships take A LOT of work, and they are VERY hard, but if you both love eachother and have the will power to do it, I'm sure you both will be fine.
I wish you luck with all this!
|
|
hi, im 17 and my boyfriend is 27 and i know he's really old for me but ya i dated him for about 5 1/2 months things went up and down and so recently ive been really busy with school, so i couldn't meet up with him as much. Anyways i got a text from him after school saying lets meet at college campus at 2;30pm and i was like no because, i have after school activites to go to. so after that he Never called or texted me again.And i even sent him a text 2 weeks ago saying how are you? and he never replied. Does that mean he broke up with me? or should i call him or just forget about it and move on? (link)
|
I think he might be starting to realize your age a little more, and the fact you have a lot going on. School, your activities. He should man up and actually let you know whats going on. Is there anyway you can go by his house? If so, go by there and ask whats up. You deserve to know if ya'll are broken up or not.
The sound of it, it looks like you two are. But I'd go by and ask him whats up.
|
|
So I am a girl and i was dating a girl, my mom never knew until one night we got into a fight and broke up, we broke up and got back together just recently and I kno I need to tell my mom because its not fair to my gf. The time before everyone was just rude to me (people in my family) i still had pictures of me and my ex on facebook and someone whos like family told my mom your daughter needs to update her facebook and take pictures off. That night when I got home, my mom got up out of bed and asked if I was over her all rude. What should I do? (link)
|
You should just come out and tell your mom.
See how much stress it's putting on you, with just not letting her know? Let her know that you and her broke up, yes, but worked things out and are going to give it another shot.
I'm not sure I can fully understand this though, Your mom did not know that you are dating a girl, or that you both are back together?
If she don't know about either, I think just telling her would solve a lot. You can't help who you fall in love with. Just remember that. Don't let other people try and ruin your relationship. Just let your mom know how you feel. She probably is just upset that she has to hear from other people about you two. It's best you let her know.
|
okay .. i'm 16/f, and my best friend is 16/m.
we met months ago and hit it off and gradually became closer; we are best friends, we love to hang out, talk, we're the first person each other texts, we love to hang out in groups together, and we basically can't get enough and i go to him for anything and vice versa. keep in mind -- this is still strictly friendship, we harmlessly flirt, it's no big deal, this is just how we were.
last night we went to a party type thing. we got dared to kiss, and him being my best friend, we were just like alright no big deal. so we kissed for 5 seconds.. and ever since, i just kept thinking about it. i didn't think anything of it for the next day or anything, we hung out and i didnt feel anything different, no emotional feelings attached, same with him..
but we were texting and talked about last night, and at first it was harmless again no emotional feelings attached, and then it got more intense.. mentioned how we could simply do it again and it wouldn't be a big deal, like on a dare again or something. suddenly my stomach began to get butterflies in them after an hour of texting.. i did NOT know where they came from.. it's been so long since i felt that, and now i'm utterly TERRIFIED of liking him. because i can not not not let our friendship go to waste.
ever since the butterflies - which began about half hour ago, currently still texting him - ive been sweating slightly and nervous, and i dont feel the same talking to him now.. i dont feel like we're just best friends, i feel the butterflies now and i feel like he's a different person..
what do i do, i can't let this friendship go to waste, i can't let things be any different.. i NEVER thought i'd feel this way. maybe i just need to sleep on it, but just in case things don't change, here i am...
(link)
|
Honestly, there isn't anything you can do to stop the feelings. Feelings are feelings, and they will happen whenever the moment is right.
I understand not wanting to ruin a friendship, but it seems like you both have a really good friendship going. That's usually how some couples meet. Being best friends at first, and then getting emotions for one another happens.
The only way to actually stop these feelings is to stop talking to him, but I know you probably don't want to do that. I don't think your friendship would go to waste. Maybe talk to him about it. You said you both can talk to each other about anything. He brought up the kiss to you first, so obviously he's in the same boat.
Maybe you both will end up having a good life together. :)
Or maybe it would be simple nothing and you two be best friends forever. You never know where life is going to take you, but don't sit back and think "what if" Because then you'll have that feeling in your stomach actually wondering "what if".
Good luck to you!
|
|