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Hello. If you need advice, you can count on me. I am particularly good at anything dealing with Relationships, Lonerism, School pressures, social pressures, finding oneself, and technology, but I can take a stab at any topic. Feel free to ask the person that has been dubbed by several people "the next Dr. Phil".

advice

okay. well me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost 3 monthes now. and i kinfof want to do more than makeout but imm scared if i talk to him about it seriously he'll think im a slut and break up with me. and if i say it jokingly he obviously wont take it seriously. helpp.

Basically, you have to also look for it in body language too. I am not suggesting you take charge of the action without getting some feedback before hand. If he's always going to do the same things (such as making out and other types of stuff) he could still have a slight problem with going further right now anyway (considering the length of the relationship, but that's just me anyway). It's important to communicate stuff like this anyhow because of the fact that this type of stuff can make or break relationships (the fact that you have to be on the same "mindset" in terms of needs and wants).

Body language and knowing the person can also determine if he already is what they call a "freak on a leash". Basically, has he tried to do anythin g more 'adventurous' in terms of the making out sessions? The problem with the situation is that it's VERY EASY to seem to come on strong if you suggest during some makeout session that you throw it out there (or ask him anything) if he would like to do something more. That would be a simple, but complicated thing to do, and even yourself said you didn't want to come off as a 'slut' (aka coming on too strong). But, if no option was left to do and you had to ask him, you should ask him about perhaps doing more, and make it seem that you're not the one directly asking for it, but seeing if he wanted to do more (also making sure nothing is giving away that you secretly want more).

Before you do anything (like remotely asking about it and such) though, you should make sure that the body signals he's giving you and that you know him and his personality.

Also, one last thing to add, if you did ask him 'jokingly' and he completely blew if off and also kinda looked taken aback from it, chances are it might just be a little more time before things can progress on (most guys have different 'time periods' or limits before you can do certain stuff with them/to them {and you thought only females had this...=p}).

I know it didn't exactly say how to ask him, but I hope the information somehow helped you.

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Okay...this is Haley...again! lol but me and my boyfriend as i have said before have been dating for about 5 months and we're defanitely in love! and he's told me before that he's never felf this way about anyone!! but he dated this girl before me for 3 and a half years.....!!!! and she ended up breaking his heart and they talked about getting married and stuff like that! Now the girl is a really big whore...like believe me I know!! And me and him talk about when we get married and he says that im the one hes been waiting for and that everything about their realtionship was a lie bc he couldnt trust her...But i always feel like im being compared to her or that he still wonders about how things wouldve been if she hadn't have turned out like that! And we've talked about it but i just cant get HER out of my head! and im driving myself crazy!!! And what really sucks is that the girl is pretty! I just dont know! and everybody remembers his as the popular quarterback who dated Charity...???? What do i do someone please tell me!

I know he shouldn't do so, but he seems to not forget his past relationship. 3 and a half years is really long, and it probably hurt him that his gf of long standing betryed him. In a way, his comparisons, though not trying to be mean to you, means that he wished that relationship didn't turn out that way. However, you have the chance to turn his mindset around, and make him feel like he can trust girls again with his heart.

If you can't get it off the fact that he's making comparisons, talk to him about how he truely felt in his past relationship. Doing this will make you understand better and make you two closer as a whole.

I hope this helps.

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im bi, and there is this kid in my class who i like. when i was walking down the hall way one day he was staring at me and when i was standing up talking to the teacher he was satring at me there too. wat do you think this means? he likes me?

Well, you could have just caught him in the mid-point of him glancing at you, as it is bound to happen...you look at one person and they just happen to be also looking at you. It happens. However, you probably made it obvious to him that you like him, so he is might be picking up those signals. It's not certain though that he likes you, but you should pursue it anyway.

Hope this helps.

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What is the best way to ask a guy that you REALLY like out? I'm really nervous about him saying no and ruining our friendship. I'm also a lil scared that he'll go telling all his buds and then say no. I've never had a bf and i've never asked a boy out...Should i get one of my friends to ask him if he likes me or if he would ever consider me as a gf or more than just a friend??? We like to talk to each other and stuff like that. And everytime someone mentions that he might like me or he does like me he usualy smiles and turns real red. sooo idk how to ask him out!!! PLEASE HELP!

Lol, from what you've said from how he asks when someone mentions that, it does sound like he likes you.

I've told many people this, but here it is again:
Things shouldn't feel awkward if you tell a friend how you feel about them. If you're really good friends, it shouldn't. If he does say no, then take it at that and still be friends. You never know, if he does say no, down the road he may see what you truely are and eventually say yes, but he may never do that unless you tell him.

If you're really nervious, you could get a friend to ask for you, but I really think that it is better to ask him out directly. Next time you see him just get him to a quiet place and tell him how you feel. Or...you could also hit it casually then follow up how you feel.

I hope this helps.

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i like this boy. and i'm pretty sure that he likes me too. My friends think i should ask him out. But i've never asked out a guy before. And i dont want to ruin our friendship we have now. So should i ask him out? and how?! please help

thankss!

Make sure that he likes you back before you ask him out. Guys are generally dense most of the time (I should know, lol being one) and need usually obvious hints that you like him. If all else fails, just work muster up and tell him how you feel. The situation about being friends shouldn't be awkward if you reveal how you feel about him. Even if he were to say no, chances are, since you said something, down the road you never know if he'll change his mind. If things feel awkward afterwords, conversate and do the things and you normally do together. Friends shouldn't have to feel awkward because they may reveal deeper feelings to their friend.

Hope this somewhat helps.

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Okay so this is the deal, I dated this kid for like 6 months he was my first love and we were each others first (noo i dont mean sex ) just kissing and just loving each other. Whatever, that sounded DUMB so ANYWAAY. So whatever, he is this big shot in our school.. and I had always crushed on him. Okay.. well 65% of the girl population in my school hated me while we were dating, beacuse they all loved him and I couldnt take it anymoer and broke up with him(also my bestfriends had crushes on him and hated that we were dating) . It was really hard for both of us and it sucked. So its been about 6 months and I'm dating someone new ( who i loveee ) and he is dating the bestfriend of mine who wanted us to breakup in the first place.. We've talked and I miss him and he misses me but we're both happy right now. I just know we have unfinished buisness but i love my boyfriend and , dont want to breakup with him. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG !!!
Okay so what should I do ?
I was thinking I would just wait untill we're both single and maybe hook up again. MAybe not

HELP.

It's interesting that this ended in a good way. Normally, when all your gal pals are all interested in one guy, and you're dating him, they could be mean and try to backstab you and force you to break you two up.

When you're both single again, you should hook up again. If you're still in school while you do this, I would wait until school is over for the year (or when high school is done). Things are good for you now, so don't do anything to change the situation. You have someone that loves you and you love, and if that fails you have someone else (hopefully) to go for.

Hope this helps.

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15/f. i'm in 9th grade at middle school and i always have this problem where whenever i start becoming friends with a guy or talk to them a lot, i always start to get a crush on them and never just stay friends. why does this happen? it is like i can't have any guy friends...just crushes. also once i start talking to a guy a lot people automatically think i like them it is very annoying. and when i do like a guy most people can tell. and i don't think that i'm being that obvious...what can i do?

thanks!

You are influenced probably much by horomones. If you really do start liking a guy, you'll know.

To explain why people think you like a guy that you're around: It is either because your signals (or body language) is suggesting that you like a person or everyone thinks you're a flirt and they like to tease you jokingly that you like a guy you're just talking to.

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i can't commit to a relationship my boyfriends only last about a week because i find some reason to break up with them because i start thinking that they are not the right one and i keep trying to find "mr.right" and i am fifteen!!!!! but i am a girl and i am a big romantic and i sooooooooo want to find someone who is like me in other words i want to find my "perfect match" but i keep on breaking up with guys and then there are guys who say that i am hot and that they like me but then they won't ask me out and do not tell me to ask them out because i am so afraid of rejection please help.

You have plenty of time to find Mr. Right. The thing might be is that you need time to figure out what you really want in someone. Also, people are flawed. No one is perfect. Remember that. Also, if you think you're not right for anyone, that is a lie. There's always someone out there for you. The reason your relationships don't last long could be any of those, but probably most importantly that you should give a guy a chance. You won't know in the first week that a guy is going to be "the one" and chances are he might accidently do something that makes you made or might make you think differently. The only way around that is to qleuch your fears about him not being Mr. Right and giving him a chance to prove himself...and for you to find what you want in your Mr. Right. Everyone's soul mates are different. But remember, be realistic too.

Hope this helps.

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ok 14 years old and i've never had a boyfriend or kiss or anything. i don't know whats wrong with me. all my friends have had boyfriends but no, not me. im not ugly or anything like not to be conceited or anything but alot of people had told me i was cute and pretty. and i also have like alot of friends and they all say they love mt personality. i just don't get it. any answers to why i never had a boyfriend or how to get them to know im interested?

You shouldn't feel the need to be pressured just because everyone else has a boyfriend. However, if you really want to get noticed, you have to put yourself out there. AND....do this around people you truely like...and not just the general population of guys or every guy you see (or specific group like the popular kids and so forth), otherwise you could end up with the best looking guy in the school, but he treats you like crap. Just give signs and flirt with the person(s) that you're interested in. Once then, find common interests with the guy and hang out with him a lot to see what he's like before you start dating him.

I hope that helps.

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okay so my boyfriend doesnt know the first thing about girls... he really doesnt open up to me and we are REALLY shy around each other and i still dont know much about him! hes like waht do you wanna know.. its supposed to flow naturally i dont know what to ask him becuase i dont know him! How can i help him without tellling him waht to do? Hes really cute and ive liked him for awhile and really want this to work, but i deserve more attention than this! Help me to help him to help me, lol thanks!!

Talk about something that you like and see if he chimes in on the subject. This is a good way to find out what he's interested in and to also see if you have common interests. He's a shy guy, so you might have to make the first moves into getting him to open up.

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I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy I used to think was perfect. It isn't exactly the best relationship but we always seem to work through everything. I cheated on him very early on in the relationship, a little less than a month into it. He seemed to forgive me right away, as if nothing happened.


Then I caught him telling someone that he didn't have a gifl friend. We got into a big argument about it because he didn't see why it was wrong. He promised me it wouldnt happen again.


A week after that, I got a myspace. He was always telling me to get one so one day I did and searched him and added him. The next day, a girl left a comment on his page about seeing him and a great night of sex. I looked at her page and he told her the same things he told me. He swore he didn't do anything with her but why talk about it if you didn't do anything?


I just re-read that and I know this relationship isn't working but I don't know how to end it. Everything I plan on breaking up with him he some how talks me out of it. He has this was of twisting my feelings around and I don't know what to do about it. Help? He's 21 I'm 18

If he's trying to make you stay in the relationship, he's playing on the fact that you'll feel bad in the sense that you know he cheated on you, but you (in what you typed anyway)cheated on him first...and he may try to be using that against you. If you still have any feelings left for him, perhaps you should assess them and come to a point where you can make a decision about that. If you don't have feelings for him anymore, then break it off. It seems like too that you're unsure of really what to do, and he's using this to twist what feelings still remain to prevent you from breaking up with him. If you want it to end, you have to be completely 100% sure of that you have no feelings for him anymore. This will allow you to break out of his grasp.

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okay so heres the deal.
im a 15/f and i recently met this boy named joe and hes a senior hes 17 and he'll be 18 in january. we've become really close in the past few days, hes drove me to school a few times and hes been over to meet my mom. everything seemd to be fine until i asked to have joe over for a day this weekend. and my mom starts going off on me because hes an older boy! and i've been trying to explain to her that we're just friends and nothing more! and that i kno what im doing! but she wont believe me she cant get over the fact that hes an "older boy". it makes me soo up set! how can i get my parents to approve of me hangin out with joe? please help soon!

thank you

It seems like your mom has the idea that you're dating or going to be dating him seeing how he has met your parents. I think that being "older" doesn't always have negative thoughts. I had an ex that was 15 and I was 17 (at the time). Her parents became to trust me because I presented myself well, and I promised to look after and be there for her. In a way, Joe will have to present himself well...and you will too. I know I used a relationship ancedote there, but this applies when you are female and you just have an older male friend too.

Just wait a little while longer before you start to bring boys (Joe) to the house. Like I said before, in the teen years, that usually means that you're dating or thinking about dating him since he's meeting the family. Make sure that your intentions are clear with your mom, and make sure about Joe's too. Communication is the key here.

Hope that helps out.

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ok so im sad lots of the time and moody and stuff because of one girl and she cares about me alot and she wants me to be happy she doesnt want to have a relation ship and she dosnt LIKE me i dont want her to like me i want to move on .. this has been going on for years and years by the way so its not som little average heartbreak,what should i do .. and for the record how can i keep my self from being sad about other girls cause.. fuck,this happens every fucking time !!!! sorry for swearing but .. woah i just cant take it anymore i get into the state of depression were i want to die and everything and i dont see the point on being alive.. but w.e thats stupid i like another girl .. been friends with along time .. weve liked each other on and off and yeah i need to hint that i like her .. and yeah and how can i get her to like me .. like frickhahaha well please help me on all thos questions .. it would be sweet if it was a long sentence answer cause iv asked this in differnt ways befor but i cant seem to be geting the kinda answer im looking for.. well somthing that might help * because .. yeah iv tryed lots and i seem to be geting the same stuff over and over agian .. thanks .. bye

15/m

Are you making attempts (such as hinting or even in your own behavior/bodylanguage) to tell that a girl that you like her? I used to be the same way, where I would get depressed over some girl, but I now realize that you can only really feel depressed if you actually took the risk of either finding out how she feels about you or if you made a clear effort to make your feelings be known.

About your friend: Just be yourself. You don't have to make her like you. If she likes you already, you don't have to go out of your way to prove that you like her (though, going out of your way when you're in a relationship for the one you love is a different thing). Also, don't be worried about the whole "friends" thing. If you've been friends for long time, saying how you truely feel shouldn't make the situation awkward. If it does, something's up. Even if she were to say no, down the road, you will never know what will happen and change her mind, but she might change that way unless you have your feelings all ready out there. To hint at you like her, just be sly but obvious at the same time. If your body language (how you act around her and stuff) is very easily read, she probably already knows you like her, and is probably waiting for you to say it. I hope this helps you out.

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