|
I love him but should I leave?
I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy I used to think was perfect. It isn't exactly the best relationship but we always seem to work through everything. I cheated on him very early on in the relationship, a little less than a month into it. He seemed to forgive me right away, as if nothing happened.
Then I caught him telling someone that he didn't have a gifl friend. We got into a big argument about it because he didn't see why it was wrong. He promised me it wouldnt happen again.
A week after that, I got a myspace. He was always telling me to get one so one day I did and searched him and added him. The next day, a girl left a comment on his page about seeing him and a great night of sex. I looked at her page and he told her the same things he told me. He swore he didn't do anything with her but why talk about it if you didn't do anything?
I just re-read that and I know this relationship isn't working but I don't know how to end it. Everything I plan on breaking up with him he some how talks me out of it. He has this was of twisting my feelings around and I don't know what to do about it. Help? He's 21 I'm 18
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
maybe you could just be friends with him not completly get rid of him. just be honest with him and tell him you just want to be friends with him. i think he will exept it and you can be friends with him. good luck!
]
If he's trying to make you stay in the relationship, he's playing on the fact that you'll feel bad in the sense that you know he cheated on you, but you (in what you typed anyway)cheated on him first...and he may try to be using that against you. If you still have any feelings left for him, perhaps you should assess them and come to a point where you can make a decision about that. If you don't have feelings for him anymore, then break it off. It seems like too that you're unsure of really what to do, and he's using this to twist what feelings still remain to prevent you from breaking up with him. If you want it to end, you have to be completely 100% sure of that you have no feelings for him anymore. This will allow you to break out of his grasp.
]
Well, the first thing that's to be noticed is that you've both made mistakes. On one hand, he forgave you for what you did, but you haven't forgiven him. If he says that he didn't do anything with her, then should you at least attempt to trust him? Or perhaps there's a previous incident that makes you unable to trust him? Trust is the biggest part of a relationship. If it doesn't exist, than neither does your relationship.
About talking about something he says that he didn't do though... That's a problem. Why mention it if it DIDN'T happen?
If you feel that it's time for you two to move on, then maybe it is. He's probably talking you out of it all the time because he's afraid of losing you. The best way is to make things very formal. Not an email, and certainly not IM. Call him, talk to him, and give him the reasons why exactly you are breaking up with him. Yes, it might be difficult, but plan what you need to say so you don't get flustered. But... Give him a chance to talk as well. Communication is essential in a relationship whether it is beginning, continuing, or ending.
The only real advice I can offer is to be strong about it and plan what you are going to say to him. I'm sorry that you're in this situation... Feel free to send me any other questions you may have. Good luck!
]
More Questions: |