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New Jersey

Age:

16

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March 28, 2005

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Last Update:

February 11, 2007

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about

Heyy my names Julianne but a lot of people call me Jules. I'm almost 18 and a senior in high school. I made a column because I love helping people and its really easy for me to relate to a lot of questions because I've gone through a lot myself. I'm open to any question you have so feel free to ask me anything =]

advice

alright so, me and my bf have been together 2 months. . . im falling in love with him.. you may think oh thats really fast, but then again you cant help who or when you fall in love.. ok but i dont know if he loves me to.. my best friend tells me he does.. that it takes two people. and im scared to say it cuz i dont know what he will say back. . . so what should i do basically

if you really love him dont be afraid to tell him how you feel. say it to him when youre ready and dont worry about if he'll say it back or not. he will if he's ready. if he doesnt, it doesnt mean he doesnt like you or love you.. it just comes as a shock to a lot of guys to hear i love you. but youll never know how he feels unless you tell him how you feel. he might wanna say it to you too, but is afraid you wont say it back. dont be afraid to make the first move. be confident in what you feel :-)

I'm in sixth grade and I have a boyfriend. All of my freinds have held their boyfriends hands and I haven't! I haven't had a boyfriend since 4th grade and I'm scared 2 hold his hand! Should I just do it or wait for him 2 hold my hand or neither?

hey sweetie. I bet that your boyfriend is just as nervous as you to hold your hand. its one of those awkward things where you dont know how the other person might react. if you feel like youre ready to hold his hand and the moment is right, just go for it. try to not make a big deal out of it because you might catch him off guard. he'll most likely look at you when you do this so just give him a little smile. if he smiles back he probably wanted to hold hands just as much as you. theres no sense in waiting around and wondering when he'll hold yours, so just make the move first. you can do it :-)

hey well i was wondering what all u alls views were on teens (well 14 yr olds) making out? is it to young, or not? and what about not going all the way like sex but..just a little ways? i just need to know what other peoples views are on this! please please please i'll rate high!! xo thanks

hey hun. in my opinion, youre ready when youre ready and only you can know when that is. if youre asking for my personal opinion I dont think its too young at all. its a good age to start experimenting and determining what kind of guys you like and practicing your kissing when nobody has all that much experience yet. I wouldnt do anything more than make out with a guy I wasnt boyfriend/girlfriend with because that should be with someone you really care about. of course wait until youre ready to go a little further once you have a boyfriend too. 2nd is good but maybe wait until youre a little older to go beyond. but its all about feeling comfortable and sure of yourself.

I NEED HELP!!!!!!! WHOEVER ANSWERS THIS ILL RATE 5!!!!!!!!

okay...well i recently found out that im a lesbian...and the other day my friend (shes a girl and didnit kno i was gay) came over. we were working on our homework and then...it happened ...i koodnt control myself...i just jumped on her and we started making out and stuff....we went rlly far if u know what i meen and she said she had a great time but didnt want this to happen again,....i love her sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much and dont know what to do...any advice out there????????????????????

well if she didnt go into shock as soon as you jumped on her and kept going with you for a while i would assume she is also a lesbian or maybe she just wasnt sure if she was or not and wanted to experiment. shes probably not comfortable being out in the open about it and doesnt know how she feels because this happened so fast and she needs time to think about it. i would give her space for a few days and let her think it through before you talk to her about it. you need to clear this up with her and see how she feels. tell her how you feel about the situation and how much you like her. she might like you too, but is just scared. you need to make her feel comfortable.

I know my boyfriend REALLY likes me. To him, I am his number one priority and I even think he is ditching his friends so he can have more time with me.

Now, he is a pretty nice guy but he always wants me to kiss him or makeout with him. He's 14 and I know that at that age, boys hormones are racing! I can't blame him for wanting to because I know everyone feels that way sometimes.

But I'm not sure I'm ready for making out, especially in school. I don't think he is either. We both just got our first ever kisses this year. He is so nervous around me at school so he tells me to take the lead when kissing him. But I don't want to be the lead! I can't handle all of this responsibility because if I mess up, I'll feel stupid!

What should I do? Should I talk to him about this? What if he breaks up with me?

definetly dont let him rush you into doing something youre not ready to do. you should talk to him about it if you ever want to feel comfortable kissing him in public or private. just let him know that you wanna take things slow because you think its better for both of you. he should be ok with it if hes nervous about it too. if he breaks up with you over that (i highly doubt it) hes a jerk and doesnt deserve a girlfriend. as far as kissing in school..you dont have to. but if you want to you should do it in private a lot first so youre comfortable. and when you do go for the kiss just clear your mind. let it happen because if you think about it too much youll get nervous and freak out. be calm :-)

i am really good friends with this one guy we hang out all the time we play basketball football everything we are neighbors so ya but i really like him and well i am afraid that if i tell him that i like him he mite not like me and we will grow distant from eachother and i really don't want that to happen i tried forgeting about him but it won't work als i am 13.f and he 16/m and the age difference kinda bothers me please help i will rate really high

you definetly cant keep this from him. because by not telling him you'll actually make things more awkward because you'll naturally act flirtatious around him and he'll be confused of the relationship between you guys. and if you dont tell him how you feel he'll probably get a girlfriend sooner or later and then it'll be too late. trust me.. a guy moved in across the street from me a couple years ago and i fell in love with him. i waited to tell him for a long time and it turns out there was a time when he liked me but when i told him how i felt he liked someone else. hes been in a relationship for the past year and i regret not telling him sooner. sure there is a possibility he might not like you back.. but wouldnt you rather find out than sit and wonder? good luck.

I have a boyfriend and he is really nice. He is always very sweet and considerate of me. He has made it clear that he really likes me alot and I like him too.

He sounds really outgoing on the phone, but then at school he is so nervous, he can barely talk to me. My friends and I get the feeling that he thinks I'm really popular and experienced which actually, I'm not. So on instant messenger he kept saying, "Were going to make on on Monday and school" and he always calls me "babe" on the phone or computer. But then at school, he is so nervous around me.

So, is he a jerk, or just one really nervous insecure kid?

believe it or not, a lot of people have that problem. he is definetly not a jerk. when hes on the phone with you or on AIM hes more comfortable beacuse you cant see him and neither can anybody else. he knows that you 2 are the only ones that know what you guys talk about.. which is why its a good idea to not tell all the details to your friends. in school its a completely different story because not only does he have to worry about what you think about how he looks and says... but he has to worry about what other people think because theyre probably watching and listening. you need to help him.. but dont put him in an awkward position. be discrete. heres what to do: ease him into being more outgoing in person. if he doesnt feel comfortable around you at school go out in public by yourselves. try the movies first (its dark so its not a big step) then ease him into the mall, then maybe have a bunch of people over. etc. he'll gradually become more comfortable showing other people (including you) his outgoing side. and also make sure you encourage him to be outgoing. just smile and laugh and have fun.

Ok, so theres this guy, let's call him Cameron. I've been literally in love with him for over 2 and a half years. He's liked me that long too, but the problem is, one of his best girl friends (who is also my best friend) says that he likes five girls. Two of which are halfway across the country. Then there's me, and two other girls that must go to my school. On a scale of 1-10 he rated me a 9, and a girl in another state a 10. I'm getting really jealous and I'm not sure how to react to all this. He says he really likes me, and he even gave me flowers on Valentine's Day, but I'm just not sure what to do. Should I still keep my hopes up for him, or try to give him up since he likes 5 different girls? Any help is appreciated. Thanks.

I'm in a similar situation. I've loved this guy for over 2 years, and hes had feelings for me that long but unfortunatley has also had girlfriends hes loved more. He always tells me how beautiful I am which keeps me attached. And its probably hard for you to decide what to do because half of you just wants to quit but the other half knows that maybe it could work. It sounds to me like he has all of these girls on strings and hes not sure what to do either. He obviously has strong feelings for you if he gave you flowers and thinks your really pretty. Heres what you should do. Talk to him and just let him know how youre feeling. Let him know that you like him, but if he cant make up his mind about the other girls then he can forget about you. Hopefully this will make him realize that his string towards you can be cut any second and hopefully he'll come to a decision.

Well, I guess you could say I'm friends with this guy already. But I would like to know if you guys think he likes me or if it's just our odd frienship.
Here are some of the things he does
-randomly hit me (and appolijizes if he thinks it hurt..and gives me a hug when it actually does)
-will bring me a pop from his house for lunch
-share his drinks with me
-kinda tells me a lot of stuff (more than my other friends that he talks to)
-eh i dunno..just if ya have an opinion could you please tell me

I definetly think he has a crush on you, but is scared to make an actual move so he's playing it low key to see what you do. He's probably thinks you guys are too good of friends to actually come out and tell you that he likes you and wants you to be the one to take it to the next level. Don't be afraid to respond to his flirtatiousness. like if he hits you smile and make eye contact and be like that hurt and hit him back (lightly). when he brings you things do the eye contact thing again and make sure you thank him. and most importantly when he tells you that important stuff smile, eye contact, and just listen to him. guys love girls who listen. good luck :-)

Do guys just want girls who are hot? Or something more?

there's not really a right answer to that. yes some guys only want girls who are hot..but those guys arent worth your time. most guys will probably care a little bit about looks, but your personality will mean more to them. if you show a guy that youre an awesome girl through your personality and by just being yourself, your looks probably wont matter at all.

ok so this is the problem,last year i liked tis boy named nick for a while [6 months]but i never made a move.so he was in both my english and history classes and the first time i noticed him was because i think he looked at me alot.so he kept giving me mixed messages .and i dint get it .but ii still liked him.then someone told me that i looked athim way too much and thasat made me think hw like me when he dint.then at the begining of summer i started liking this other dude and him and rick are total opposites.he also wanst interested.do i seem to be attracted to people who dont give a d about me.and i dont give a chance to those i might have a chance at.anything would be great.

hun.. i do the same thing. i always seem to think that guys are staring at me when theyre really lookin at me weird because im staring at them. then i start to like them because i think they like me and before i know it im in love with someone who probably doesnt even know who i am. the solution is communication. yea i know its hard to talk to guys especially the ones that you think you cant get. but you need to be confident and believe in yourself and talk. if you noticed rick(or nick..you made a typo) "looking at you" whether he was or not.. why not go up to him and strike a casual conversation... that way he knows youre interested in him and doesnt have to wonder why youre staring at him all the time. and if you dont score with one of the guys who seem "out of your league" so what. its their loss. just keep youre options open because im sure there are tons of guys in your ballpark that you just need to give a chance because theyre the ones that are trying to work up the courage to talk to you. good luck babe

I like a guy... but it's a total dead end. Things would never work out as far as dating, but we're really good friends. Me having a crush on him is tainting our friendship. (he doesn't know I like him, but I can't think about him without wanting him as a bf.) I do not want to want him but he's just so awesome. I really like him. Is there any way to STOP, though? I know my heart will just get broken, and I don't want to let my feelings get that far. Cursed emotions!

I'm in the same situation. Me and this guy couldnt be any closer and I've liked him for years now. He of course always has a girlfriend and is now almost at a year with the one he has now and loves her more than any other girlfriend hes had. The point is.. if you don't tell this guy how you feel.. he (being a guy and all) wont just magically know you like him. You need to tell him how you feel so you put yourself out there as a possible girlfriend for him. You never know..he might feel the same way. And as far as thinking it wouldnt work out..how do you know? If youre already really good friends..why not take it to the next level? good luck

(FOR THE LADIES)
What could a guy do to get your attention and make you feel like the most special girl in the world?

To make a girl like you, you need to make her know that she is the only girl youre interested in. Girls love guys who listen to them. Try to find out from one of her friends or something what shes interested in so that when you talk to her you can talk about things she likes. Also, always remember that girls love to be called beautiful and not hot or sexy. Be as sweet as you can. good luck

i have a really close guy friend we close but we cant be nothing but friends because on long distance and i hate long distance realtionships because the never work out. ok but n-e-ways sometimes we act like lovers and sometimes like friends but even when he had a gf we did the samething because he always liked me more then his gf even though he broke up with her for me but i still didnt go out with him and like now i dont know what to do i do love this guy and like he perfect for me and all but i am really confuessed?can you plz help i wil rate! thanks!

wow...that sounds exactly like what happened to me last year. Me and my best guy friend are like brother and sister...i know exactly how you feel. I think if he broke up with his girlfriend for you hes def. worth considering, But since you didnt go out with him when you had the chance, maybe you dont love him as much as you think you do...maybe you just love him as a friend and think of him as a brother. I think since you guys are so close you should talk about this and ask him how he feels about you and what you think is the best choice. I winded up not liking my guy anymore but now we are closer than ever as friends. Hope i helped

When my boyfriend and I talk on the phone, he always switches over to another call. Well with his phone I am able to hear the voices, and it's ALWAYS another girl's voice.. could he be cheating on me? How do I bring this up with him...

First of all I don't think its nice of him to put you on hold like that. Secondly, he could be cheating on you...or he could just have a lot of female friends. If you bring it up to his face, chances are he'll get defensive and question your trust. So you might want to wait until the next time he calls you...if he says hes going to switch over to another call ask him who it is and if he tells you a girls name ask him if you guys are friends or something like that. If he's on the call for over a minute or 2...hang up and see if he calls you back. If he doesnt call you back i would get suspicious...but if he does call you back you should probably bring it up... i hope i helped

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