I'm a 17 year old girl who has had her share of problems. So I'll do my best to answer questions and you can leave a question anytime in my inbox. :)
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Member Since: October 31, 2010
Answers: 211
Last Update: January 5, 2012
Visitors: 10132
Main Categories:
Love Life
Work/School Relationships
Friendship
View All
Favorite Columnists
bewise
|
| |
|
15f here. Well let's just start off with this I'm not attractive. I'm a little overweight nag I keep gaining more. I have never had a boyfriend/first kiss. The closest I've got with a guy was 2010 summer but we just randomly stopped talk ing no reason why. I allways blame myself for that I should have took more chances. I miss just talking about random stuff with a boy its nice to know someone cares. I'm not happy and I want to be friends with more guys. I still have feelings for that one guy but I do like other people but not As much as him. I act sorta tough. I allways feel like I'm wasting my life alone.noone understands my life style. I never asked to be like this. I'm not a bad person but I feel like I am bc I'm allways bringing myself down. I just want to be that same old happy girl who is courageous and brave. I try so hard to not care what others think. (link)
|
Well what I've learned when I was in that state where I'd get really upset about who I am, I try to change the things that bother me. You said you're a little overweight, then you should work on trying to lose some. Plus working out makes you feel better. Just try to be positive about things, it will get better. And about the whole boys thing, you're only 15 so you have so many years to find a guy. Don't stress out about getting a boyfriend or having your first kiss. Sometimes those kinds of things get in the way and cause problems and stress you don't need. Just enjoy where you are right now and work on yourself first.
If you don't love yourself, then it's going to be hard for a guy to love you too.
So work on yourself and your confidence then worry about the boys.
|
|
i'm in the 11th grade, when I'm at school I don't feel like I'm good enough, I feel like everyone is staring and talking about me in a bad way. I keep to myself to avoid being judged and to avoid my business getting around, I'm extremely quiet, I'm constantly getting asked "why don't you ever talk?" I'm only like this at school, there's 40 people in all my classes if I'm talking to one person I don't like the other 39 being able to hear what I'm saying.extremely self cautious about the way I look, even though people tell me that I'm really pretty, I feel like all the people around me are prettier which makes me feel ugly I'm self cautious about my smile I've always had problems with my teeth, my mom had it fixed but I still feel like my teeth are ugly because I lived with that problem so long so I avoid smiling also. People are always asking "are you okay?" when I'm at school is when I think about all my insecurities and no matter how hard I try to be social and happy it just doesn't work for me. Some girl in my grade asked if I was okay when I responded with yeah her response was oh because you look like one of those people who will just snap oneday and shoot up the whole school. I really took this offensively but instead of being rude to her I nicely said "i would never do that!" her response was "you never know it's always the quiet ones." why does it bother people so much that I'm quiet? When people talk to me I talk back, but nobody tries to talk to me they just ask why I'm quiet without putting in any effort to talk to me. Why can't people just except me for how I am? Why does it bother people that 1 person is quiet out of the thousands that go to my school. (link)
|
I get what you mean. I was like that all the time and I kinda still am. I don't talk to people I don't know, I usually just talk to my friends because I suck at small talk.
I always hated getting asked, "Why don't you ever talk?"
Anyways, you just need to get over your insecurities. You can't let them rule your life. This is high school, you'll probably never see these people after you graduate. It doesn't matter what they think anyway.
People tell your that you're pretty, you probably are. It doesn't matter if there are other girls that you think are prettier. Comparing yourself doesn't help anything. I know that it's hard to help but if you try more, you'll eventually feel more comfortable with yourself.
|
Hey Im 16 and a senior in highschool. I met this guy in an interschool competition. He's the same age but is a senior in some other school. We started talking after the competition and became good friends. We have gone out on three dates till now. And yeah, we have kissed each other and made out a little. We cannot resist each other at all. And hence the makeouts were a mutual desicion. I am falling for him. But the problem is that even though he says he is falling for me, he keeps on telling me he cannot date me cause he's a bad guy and he cares for me too too much to hurt me. He says he is not one of those dateable guys who will love their girl completely and he might find a new girl and dump me.That would hurt me and he doesnt want to do that! He hasnt had a past record of cheating or anything it's just that he tells me he wants to be sure before he asks a girl out that he will be completely loyal to her and not flirt around with other girls. He also liked this girl a year back and he says he feels guilty that he got over her and fell for me! But when we meet we actually act like we are dating, cause he gets me stuff, he tells me he loves me, we hold hands. we actually act like a couple in love. we also talk all the time. I dont know what to do. Because I really want to be with him. But cant figure out how to make him ask me out? and if he is really a bad guy? HELP.
(link)
|
I guess I was in a situation like this. He did tell me he was a bad guy for me and didn't want to hurt me. He wanted to wait till we were older and he was more mature.
He seems like a good guy right now and he acts all sweet with you. It's just, if you guys did start dating, he probably would be flirting with other girls and he's telling you that up front. You don't want to be with a guy who can't be loyal to you. He has already told you he's not one of those dateable guys who'll love their girl completely. You want a guy who will do that for you because in your case, if you guys did start going out, you'll end up falling in love with him but he won't be quite the same.
You could probably keep him around but don't keep wishing that he'd ask you out because it doesn't seem like the right now. I'd try finding someone else, but I guess it'd be hard since you've already fallen hard for him.
I'm just saying, dating him wouldn't be a great idea.
|
I kind of have a crush on a guy, even though I'm in a relationship right now. I am very happy with my boyfriend and don't intend to leave him for this guy.
This isn't the only time that I've had a work crush before when I was dating someone. I tend to find a cute guy who seems awesome, the kind of guy that I'd go for if I was single.
I'm feeling kind of guilty though, because my boyfriend always tells me that I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. I love him because he is the most sweetest, caring guy that I've ever been with, and he treats me amazingly, among other reasons.
Is it okay to have a work crush if you're in a relationship with someone else?
-20/F (link)
|
I think it's fine as long as you don't let it get into something more than a crush.
I'm with my boyfriend but I'm always going to see other guys I think are cute and I'm pretty sure my boyfriend sees other girls he thinks are cute but it's not like we're gonna go ahead and cheat or let it get into something more than just a little crush.
As long as you watch yourself and keep your heart where it belongs, it's fine.
|
My BFF and I went to a party on Friday night and expected to have a great time. We'll call her Reilly and me Carol. Reilly knows that like this guy ( we'll call him Steven). So she went ahead and asked him out. HE SAID YES TO HER!!! I thought that she could have told me about what she was going to do but she said that I would have hurt her. I would never have done that over a guy but she didnt believe me. She avoided me the rest of the night except when 2 guys got mad and it was leaning toward a fight so she comes up to us like:
"I need my B****** cuz there's about to be a fight."
It really ticked me off and I need to know what to do about the guy and my BFF. (link)
|
Well she stabbed you in the back. Since she was aware of your feelings for this guy she should have at least went and talked to you instead of trying to go behind your back.
It's your choice of how you want to deal with it but don't over react and try to fight with her or something. I doubt you would, but who knows.
I value friendship over boys so you can try to put this behind you or give it a little time.
I'd say just let them be and find another guy that can make you happy.
|
Why do others call me stuck up cause I'm shy?
I'm not around family and friends. I'm just sometimes quiet around people I never talked too or I'm quiet when I'm tired. Sometimes when I first meet people it takes me a while to come out of my shell cause I think I'm going to get judged . I'm happy and smiling all of the time. That’s just how I am, a happy person. Since elementary school I've heard girls say that I'm stuck up or "I think I'm all that". I honestly feel like I'm the nicest person I never talked bad about someone even behind their backs. There's no point if you think about it, you never know what someone's going through. I'm not a bitch. It won't get you anywhere in the future. Can someone tell me why people do call me stuck up cause I'm shy? I really don't get it
(link)
|
I've gotten that a couple times. Just because you're shy doesn't mean you're stuck up and they don't get that.
If you want them to stop saying all that crap then start talking some more. Either that or you can just ignore their comments because they're the ones that are judging, not you.
|
Im 13 and all of my friends have boyfriends, EXCEPT ME. Some guys come up to me and they say "i like you" and i dont know what to say. Then weeks go by and i dont hear from them again.
I think im pretty but not like the populars pretty. So is something wrong with me? why cant i get a boyfriend? (link)
|
It's fine that you don't have a boyfriend. You really don't need to have one, you're 13 and as you get older you'll get a boyfriend. At 13 it's actually kinda pointless to have.
I got my first boyfriend when I was 14. Even now I think it was kinda stupid. We only sat by each other and talked. Didn't hold hands or anything. The most he did was give me his jacket.
Anyway, don't think anything is wrong with you because you can't get a boyfriend. Sometimes it's a lot of drama and when you're young some things might happen that you don't want to happen.
If you really want a boyfriend, don't try to rush it because he probably won't be the best guy for you. Be friends with him first and see if you really like him instead of the idea of having a boyfriend. Good luck!
|
|
I like this guy i'm not sure if he likes me he's 3years older than me everytime he's going to his friends house that lives beside me he wants to hang out he's always pokeing me of bothering me somehow he will be nice to me but to the other girl that likes him... Do y'all think he likes me??? (link)
| |
It's a possibility that he does like you or he could be a friendly guy. Anyway, I'd try hanging out with him more and become closer friends. Eventually you'll find out how he feels from there. Good luck!
|
a guy just texted me asking me to prom and i dont know if anybody else will... But the thing is that this guy has kind of a stuttering prob, which isnt bad but my friends just kinda laughed and are like "well do you want to go?" And i dont really know. I want to go to prom, i really do!
But this is so complicated because people are gonna be talking and my friends will just laugh at me and i just feel bad.. i dont want to say no.
He isnt like "weird" he plays sports and has friends and stuff but still... idk. My OWN friends are kind of iffy about it.. HELP! (link)
| |
Well obviously, don't listen to your friends. Do what you want. If you want to go with him, then go. If you don't, then don't go. Don't have your friends make your decisions for you.
|
|
okay so I have been dating this guy for the past three months and I recently found out he was cheating on me! He told the girl he made out with that he was single and that I was just his friend! I found this out cause i incidentally talked to the girl.I really got angry when I found out he had been lying to me all this while and I immediately broke up with him. when i confronted him about the whole thing he had to accept it but then for the first five hours after confrontation he was all like "i cant believe i could lie so well.." but after that he said sorry and kept on texting and calling me up! he wanted me back and told me he was very sorry and all and he actually spoke to some of his friends (who i know too) about the whole thing and how he really feels sorry about everything. he told some of our mutual friends to call me up too ..should i trust him again and go back to him or not???? (link)
|
I wouldn't go back to him. What if he finds another girl he's into and says that you're just his friend and he ends up hooking up with her or something? I don't think there is any way you could fully trust him again. You could always try to, but you will always have doubts in the back of your mind wondering if he is faithful to you or not.
He might be sorry but if you didn't find out and didn't break up with him, would he have regretted it? Maybe he's just sorry that you found out.
Anyway, I think you should find someone better who won't cheat on you and won't hurt you like that. You obviously deserve better. Good luck!
|
|
My best friend & I are very close. I dont know what it is about him but I can feel like I can trust him with EVERYTHING & ANYTHING. Everyone who knows how we are around eachother always tell us that we would make the cutest couple because we care about eachother so much. When I tell him about something stupid I might do he goes through so much to stop me & im the same with him. Does it sound like we should be a couple? (link)
|
Well it is only up to you. Don't get with a guy because of what other people say. If you have feelings for him and he feels the same for you, that's when you guys should be a couple. If other people are just saying these things because they think you guys would be cute then it doesn't mean you should be with him.
If you don't have these kinds of feelings for him, don't be with him because it might ruin the friendship or make it awkward.
If you do have feelings for him, then tell him and let him know and see what he thinks. If he doesn't feel the same then keep it as friends.
Good luck!
|
f 12
There's this guy that I really like & I've been having dreams about him & he's the only thing I can think about. School let out & I was in the band room & his best friend, we'll call him Bob, & my crush, we'll call him Nate, are in there getting their instruments & Bob comes up to me & is like: Nate wants to know if you wanted to go out with him. I told Bob yes & he told Nate & Nate doesn't say anything. He just leaves! What is this? (link)
|
Boys are so confusing right?
There could be so many reasons why he left. If you have any way to get a hold of him or his friend then try to do that because since school is out you won't see him right? Well other than talking to them, there isn't much you can do about this situation. If you can't talk to them then you're just gonna have to wait till school starts again. Good luck!
|
|
i have been seeing this guy for a month or so..and we are very serious about our relashionship..we both love each other a lot..and the guy has proved to me time and again that he is always gonna love me..and be there for me..i think am ready to take the next step..and go all the way and have sex but the problem is the age thing comes in..i am just about to turn 16..so i dont know if i should do it right now or not?! is it the right time?! is it too early? my guy has left the decision upto me saying that he can wait until the time i dont want to do it .. HELP!!!!! (link)
|
If you are having doubts about it, you should wait. I think being 16 is young to have sex. I mean, yeah, a lot of people our age are having sex but it's not really the smartest thing to do. If something goes wrong, you could get pregnant or have some kind of disease. Nobody our age wants to have a kid unless they're crazy and don't know what they're talking about. My ex boyfriend and I, who I thought was going to be my forever and we were so serious about each other almost had sex. I feel so stupid about it now. We never did it but we were close to it and did other things instead because I told him I didn't want something to go wrong. Well, turns out he really couldn't control himself and almost raped me. He didn't mean it but I mean, who does that? I'm not saying that will happen to you but things happen right? Anything can happen. Just some things to think about..
But I don't think it is the right time to have sex. Your guy is a good guy saying he'll wait. You guys have been together for a couple months. Even though it may be serious, it's way too soon. I was with my boyfriend for 10 months and it still felt too soon. I was 15 during that time though, turning 16 like a month later.
Well right now, I completely regret ever doing anything with him. I feel so sick about it lol. Just don't put yourself in a position you might regret later. Good luck!
|
|
how old were you when you had your first "french kiss"? (link)
| |
I was 15 and a sophomore in high school.
|
|
how do i get over my ex boyfriend? i dont want to date him again, but i always think about him. i am fifteen and a girl. (link)
| |
Well I would just try to stay away from him. Not like always thinking, "Oh I see him. I need to stay away" Just keep it normal, try to forget about him. Go out and do other things with friends. The thing that will make you get over him the best would be finding another guy you like. Thinking about another guy would stop you for the most part of thinking about your ex. Good luck!
|
i need hellppp and i dont know what i do
i work at a place that i realllly enjoy and i love all my coworkers. i've been working here for about a month but last week i got offered a job at another place where this guy that i have always liked works. We have always been friends but never anything more, and i was really excited to work with him and see him alot more. But the job is really boring and pays alot less. its not about the money but for so many other reasons i want to stay at my first job but everytime i think im going to turn down the second, i see the guy and imagine how fun it would be working with him, i dont know what to do, should i stay at the job that i love? or quit and work with the guy who i have always had a crush on???
(link)
| |
I would stay with the job you have now. Yeah, maybe it will be fun to work with the guy you like. What if just doesn't work out or he isn't exactly the guy you thought he was or you're just not into him anymore? Then you're stuck with the job that you don't really want. So I think you should stay with your job now. Choosing jobs because of boys isn't really a smart choice. It is smarter do be doing something you actually like than revolving it around a guy right? Good luck!
|
|