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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!
advice
So I have a childhood friend say her name is Becky,and we use to play together. Now we have common friends. When we ask her if she wants to come for a walk or for a outing, most of the time she says no.We do ask her if she wants to go with us but now we have heard saying her no so many times that we also have stopped asking her always. I can understand she might have issues so i never argued with her. My other friends and her had a Fallout earlier as well but things were going okay now. Resently we made a plan to go out, we were total 6 people and one more who couldn't make it.
So the organizer of the plan in middle had a fallout due to family issue and plan was cancelled but then he again said it was okay but due to that my other friend made other plans and was not able to make it on time. With all this going on i wasn't really in the mood to go on. I asked the organizer did he really wanted to do. And he said no, he was doing it for us, even after arguing with his family. So i just cancelled from my end and he also cancelled after that. So now that would be jist of the scene. After this Becky said not to involve her in any of the plans, as it seemed to her that we were doing it purposely.
So i tried apologizing to her personally, and also justifying from my end why i cancelled out. Her reply came after a day saying that
"when she cancels it is usually at the earlier stage when we plan, not after all plan is made. And it is not like you always go out with all of them, sometimes 3 of you also go out alone and again she repeated not to involve her in any plans here after"
I am not sure how to reply to her now.
I have a childhood friend I no longer keep in touch with, other than occasional hello's on Facebook. It is a part of life. As we grow and change our views, beliefs, morals even, we may find we are no longer interested or on the same 'wave length' as the friend we had grown up with. This happens often with HS friends, who by end of college and marrying and starting a family, there is so much change that one or the other doesn't want to be in touch anymore. There is a reason for that saying, "Birds of a feather, flock together." So if you are no longer 'of a feather' meaning to me that you are no longer finding you have anything in common with or have your own unmentioned personal reasons, then such a person won't want to 'flock together' or get together with former friends. So if your Becky has wishes to be left alone, honor her wishes and no longer ask her to get together. She may have changed enough that she doesn't feel she has anything in common with her old friends, which is the exact reason I am no longer in much contact with my old best friend of childhood. You should not have to reply anything to Becky as she has stated her wishes. About the only thing you could do is one last message to her that you will honor her wishes and no longer make contact. If she changes her mind at any point, she will have to reach out and let you and the common friends know that she has had a change of mind and would like to get together. It might be wise to keep her last message if a written one in text, in case she all of a sudden complains that no one is inviting her to anything anymore and then remind her with her text to you. If not in text, you may want to text her and say that you are willing to honor her wishes and then type in her exact words. If she ever does complain, you can send it to her and remind her that if she has changed her mind, that all she has to do is say so.
(Rating: 5) Thank you for advice. It just sometime it feels unfair that whenever she needs it we support her, either be her breakup or advising her on her first job, connecting her with someone new in her life to move on. But i will listen to your advice. Thanks a lot. We were going to talk to her in person, because we thought she just angry, but not that seems like, not a good idea to follow upon.