We're not going to suggest that you kill yourself. It's not what we do here.

This is exactly why I don't advocate dating below a certain age. You get mixed up in all sorts of emotional stuff that you're not ready to handle, and fill your head with exes and sex when you should be concentrating on being a kid and getting through school.

This isn't a lecture, though. I'm here to help.

If you're not happy with your current relationship, end it. Don't feel like a bad person. It's not a bad thing to end a relationship that you don't see going anywhere, or one that's sapping you of all your energy. I would suggest you taking a hiatus from dating for a set period of time. At one point in high school, I decided that I would not date until Grade 12. It meant that I wasn't constantly trying to impress boys, wasn't wasting energy on relationships that likely wouldn't last, and wasn't putting myself at risk with sexual activity. It worked for me: I was able to focus on school, work and extracurricular activities. Just a suggestion.

Nothing is the end of the world. Any failure can be overcome. I should know: I have failed out of university or college several times (for circumstances beyond my control). Of course, I've been devastated each time, but with the benefit of hindsight I'm able to move on. I'm even going back to school this fall to give it another shot!

I get that parents put a huge amount of strain on you. I had mine giving me the "You'll be flipping burgers" lecture on a regular basis. You need to find a way to distance yourself from outside pressures. Find a safe place (a tidy, comfy corner of your room, the library, a nearby park) where you can relax. If the pressure gets to be too much, remove yourself and take a while to smell the roses. Read a book or listen to some music. Take a walk.

To keep on track for school, find a good place to study. Pair up with a smart friend if you're having trouble with the coursework, or ask your teacher. Some older students may do free tutoring. Don't work yourself to the bone. Leave time for fun stuff, but set a certain amount of time to do schoolwork each day so that it doesn't creep up on you. Make a schedule and stick to it as best you can so that everything gets covered. Also, you get diminishing returns from working harder past a certain point. It makes no sense to kill yourself trying to get 100% when you've got a 90%. Set a reasonable goal and aim for that instead of the whole hog.

Nothing is worth killing yourself over. Eventually, you will look back and wonder what you ever saw in your ex, and why you felt so strongly about your breakup. You'll look back on school and remember the fun times, not the hard times. Give yourself a chance to live out your life, because you've hardly started yet.

There is no quick, easy, painless way to die. That's because no matter what the end of your life is like, it won't be quick, easy and painless for all of those who know and love you. They would all hurt forever, wondering why you didn't come to them first. So reach out to your family and friends when you're struggling. If they're not the emotional sort, you can also call local teen help or suicide lines. They can help talk you down in a pinch. Or post here looking for advice on the tough spots. It's what we're here for.

So that's my (long) answer. Take time for you, break your schoolwork down into more digestible chunks, aim for "good enough" and don't forget to reach out.

Thank you so much, that (long) piece of advice has really turned my thoughts around on what I was going to.You have made me realise that it really isn't worth it! And Thanks again, Much Appreciated :) x

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.

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