I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
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For weeks I have been iffy about even writing this.
I am young 18 and just got married in August. I am pregnant that is not why we got married but I think we rushed into it. We were planning the wedding already had my wedding dress before i found out I was Pregnant.
Sometimes I find myself regretting getting marred My reasons. I wanted to work days and go to school nights. It would be tough but id be able to better myself for me and my family he through a fit and didnt support me at all. told me either work or go to school but advises me to work because we need the money. Being pregnant I have my mood swings like most if we have an argument its all my fault he will yell at me and blame me then make me feel guilty by saying oh its always all my fault i forgot your so perfect. sometimes he makes im crap. If i feel nauses or sick at night or anything and he wants sex he pouts and acts like he is mad by not saying a workd until he gets it then goes to sleep. he goes hunting, fishing, baseball teams and tournaments etc. anything he wants and i dont argue about it i just let him.
I have asked a million times to look harder for a job. he works 2 days aweek at a sale barn doing something he likes i work full time on my swallon feet 40+ hours a week and come home exhausted and tired. its like he dont care he doesnt want to even try to look he put an app. in at burgerking one app.. in 5 weeks? we live at my dads. which i dont feel is save but dont have a choice. hes lazy
and to top it off he always wants to spend money. i used to get food stamps which just stopped but hed want a gallon of tea every 2 days. go out and buy food he wants all the time because hes to lazy to cook one thing or wait for it to get done. as soon as he gets paid he goes and spends most of the money on garbage food and gets mad when i tell him i dont want it id rather eat food i cook at home.
I love my husband to death trust me and want to work things out but i dont know what to do i talk to him about it and itslike it is in one ear and out the other. (link)
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I think it is about time you sat down with your 'husband' and have a good talk about your situation.
Why did I put 'husband' like this? Because as far as I can tell (and please do correct me if I'm wrong), he hasn't been a good one or been a husband at all. You haven't really mentioned his age but I'm guessing he's around the same age as you are. But even so, he should cast aside his football or whatever he does for leisure, grow up and get ready to become the father of your baby. You can't let any of this go by, just because you want to keep him happy. You need his support and it should be him looking for a job to bring in the money, not you. He is the man of the house and therefore, should be trying to look after you to the best of his ability as a husband and father.
It is unfair on you that you should be the one doing all the hard work whilst he is out with his mates in some tournament. Think about it in your head, what is more important: some silly baseball match or the baby? I think the answer is obvious.
He needs to learn how to become responsible fast because at this rate, this marriage won't last long. I'm not trying to forecast negativity, but in reality, unless you put your foot down and tell him what he can or cannot do (e.g. stop being a baby and get a proper job or just go to any tournament), then I'm afraid your going to struggle. What's going to happen when the baby comes? Where are you going to live? How are you going to feed yourself, your baby and his/her 'father'? It's good and all saying that your living at your fathers house, but do you really think you can live there for an extended period of time? And what happens beyond that?
If your 'husband' is not ready to a) become a proper husband and begin to look after you and b) become the babies father then those issues need to be sorted out now.
You say that you felt that you had been rushed into the marriage. A month later, do you feel as if it was the right thing to do? I suggest you talk to him about this as well.
I cannot stress how important it is that you sit your 'husband' down, get him to listen and tell him plainly. This is completely unacceptable behaviour from him and you should not even begin to put up with it. BTW, sex is out of the question and he needs to know that.
Get your dad to speak to him as well. Speaking of which: does you Dad know what the hell is going on? If he doesn't, then let him know. It's ok to tell him, he has every right to know as any family member.
If he ain't going to listen, even after all you have said. Give him an ultimatum: treat me right or I leave. Simple and plain. If he still doesn't get it, leave. You cannot be with somebody who puts themselves before you.
Please to tell me the outcome of this,
triquetra
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Rating: 5
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my father is impossible to speak to its like its in one ear and out the other and for my husband i just couldnt take it anymore i got made and kinda yelled. saying i cant take living here any more i cant take yo not working etc. and walked away and took a shower. after him being a jerk saying i need to figure it out or hes leaving i said go ahead if that is what you want. and he apoligized and said hed look harder for a job..
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