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I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.

I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.

My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!

The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.

I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.


Member Since: November 24, 2007
Answers: 577
Last Update: December 1, 2010
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Okay, recently my best guy friend came out of the closest. Meaning he likes men. I have no problem with that, I'm 100% understanding or atleast I try. But now that I know that he's gay he feels the need to rub my leg constantly and is like you couldn't get me hard and doesn't stop at rubbing my leg he goes right up there and I continue to freak out. Well not a lot of people know thats he's gay, but I have a lot of people willing to kill him cuz he makes me feel uncomfortable.
I've tried explaining that i dont like rating guys with him- and I like a guy Cole and I see him flirting with Cole and COLES STRAIGHT. It makes me really mad and I try to explain things and it doesnt work.
He knows I like Cole. And he jokes about trying to turn him and it pisses me off. I tried joking with him and being like Nope he needs to stay for the straight girls but it dosnt work.
Im done with him. but i dont want him to think its because hes Gay because its not that. he just needs to calm his urges because i dont care who he's been flirting with lately expecially when its the guy i like. Cole even notices and is like woah Katie you should deff beat him upp hes hitting on me and im deff yours.
But nope thats not enough for hm to get the picture. ERGH.
Maybe im not explaining it clear or something..
Any Advice? (link)
Katie: what exactly are you telling him? Because whatever you're telling him is clearly not getting through to him. And also, ask as to why he rubs your leg, because that's just weird... he knows that he's gay, so why bother??? And it's a violation of personal space, so he needs to stop that now. So when he does it again, tell him to stop.

I think that now is the time that you should talk to Cole about it and see what he thinks. And also ask what feelings your friend has for Cole, because then, you can tell whether he's really joking or really liking him for real.

Considering that Cole said that he's yours, I think that the next step is to maybe... date him? That is, if you're ready for that and it will definitely make your friend understand. But I can tell you right now that if you do date Cole, your friend will not like it one bit and I get the feeling that he will react in two different ways:

1) Have a argument with you.
2) Withdraw and not speak to anyone for a period of time.

I don't like the idea of people beating up somebody because they're hitting on you, that's just not... fair on them. So try and avoid that. Being gay isn't easy, because society will frown upon you and will be treated... differently by others and you run the risk of being rejected by some social groups a lot more often.

Now, I would also like to point out that your friend only recently came out and it will take him a period of time to adjust to the fact that he can now show his feelings openly about another guy in public without the fear of being caught and being discriminated by others. So keep that in mind.

I hope this helped,
triquetra


Rating: 4
I know tbat I should be more understanding, but he needs to understand that I like guys, and he doesnt know that he's not that great lol. He thinks he's some hot straight and gay guy and I had to break the news to him... =\\
oh and Cole.. I don't think we'll be dating he was just messing around




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