I'm closing my account after being on this site for longer than I can remember right now.
I would like to say thank you to all the columnists that I've met through this site, may your hearts of gold continue to shine through this site.
My reason is simple: I no longer feel I have a use for it anymore. I once was a person who couldn't help other people because of certain difficult situations in my past, but all that has now changed. This site allowed me to be who I really was and for that I'm so grateful for that. It played a very important role in my life and I'll never forget it!
The questions which I answered allowed me to reflect on my life and where it was going, and gave me the opportunity to really appreciate the life that I have, which I'm now living with open arms.
I wish you well for the future,
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
Member Since: November 24, 2007
Answers: 577
Last Update: December 1, 2010
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I'm 17 years old and was adopted a little over 10 years ago by people I love very much. I can't help but wonder, though, about my real family. I have so many questions I want to ask them and I just want to know who they are. I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship - I don't think I could ever even consider calling them mom or dad, but I just have so many thoughts going on.
I'm afraid of hurting my parents - my adopted parents, that is. I don't want to tell them that I want to search for my birth parents because I don't want to upset them. I'm happy that they adopted me and even though we don't always get along, I know I have a better life here than I would have.
Would I be hurting my parents too much if I tell them I want to search for my birth parents? Should I just give up and try to forget about it?
I don't know what I'd say if I found my biological parents, I just feel like it's something I need to do, but I don't want to hurt my mom or dad.
HELP?! (link)
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You've got every right to search for your birth parents, and I think that you should involve your adoptive parents as well. You wouldn't necessarily be hurting them because you're just trying to find out where you came from and who you really are. And even though they were great parents, you'd still like to know who gave you up.
But you've also got to consider the fact as to whether your real parents want to be found. I'm not saying this in a harsh and hurtful way, but you need to keep in mind that your real parents may never want you to find them. I don't know, you'll need to ask your adoptive parents.
It won't be easy to talk to them should you find them (and I hope to God that you do), because naturally, you'd want to ask them so many questions as to why they gave you up. Telling them that you're their daughter/son will never be a piece of cake because you'll never know how they'll react. But telling them gently that you're the son/daughter which they gave up I think would be the best thing.
Never ever give up on a question which is as important as this, especially for you, otherwise you may end up spending the rest of your life wondering the real reason behind the adoption, and never knowing the answer is something which nobody should go through.
Who knows? Your adoptive parents may be pleased that you want to find your birth parents, but if they aren't and they ask why, the simple answer is is that you want to know who they were. Remember, you've got every right to find out who your birth parents were.
I wish you the very best of luck in your search and I hope that you'll find your parents one day and may it be a joyous reunion.
triquetra
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Rating: 5
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Thank you so much; this really, really helped!
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